Taking Back Halloween
A young woman with pink hair in a black coat, thick boots, and a yellow and black scarf sat outside, silently watching the random smattering of people walking down the street past her bench. She appeared lost, wistful, and impossibly young. She gazed ahead, seeing nothing, and frowned into space. She crossed her legs once, uncrossed her legs, and crossed them again. Nymphadora Tonks was sad and uncomfortable, and even her favorite pair of striped socks failed to bring any cheer. It was Halloween time, and most wizards and witches greatly enjoyed this holiday.
However, October 31 generally was a dark time in her life for many concrete, terrible reasons. So, as a result, she sat outside on October 28 and sighed into the crisp air, watching an errant leaf blow haphazardly down the street. Lost in thought, she did not notice a pair of brown, worn shoes attached to legs with brown, worn pants.
“Penny for your thoughts, Nymphadora,” a slightly gravelly voice said gently.
“These thoughts are worth more,” she replied, forcing a smile onto her face. “And don’t call me Nymphadora, Remus. It’s just Tonks.”
The man, Remus, smiled and sat down next to her, offering a bit of chocolate from the bar he had in his pocket. Nodding, she took the proffered piece and popped it into her mouth.
“What has kept you out on this bench? Your beloved cousin has stared at you from the window for the past half hour. He’s been worried, Tonks.”
Tonks shook her head. “This time of year is depressing.”
Remus looked perplexed. “Halloween, with the costumes and sweets? Depressing?”
Turning a bitter smile at him, she shook her head. “The Blacks, at least the women, are prone to depression,” she said softly. “This time of year really upset my mother while I was growing up. She’d stay in bed for days around Halloween some years. Other times she’d cry. She never wanted to feel anything that happened.”
Remus nodded thoughtfully, agreeing. “Sirius was taken to Azkaban, and the Potters died,” he agreed. “Even little Peter was gone, as far as she knew. I can see how it was a dark time for her because it was a dark time for all of us. The first anniversary, I remained in the Shrieking Shack for days before Dumbledore came to speak to me. I can understand her aversion to the holiday.”
Tonks looked at Remus, her dark eyes glinting with what could eventually be unshed tears. “It wasn’t just Sirius and the Potters for her,” she whispered. “it was everybody. Did you know, Remus, that before there was our Weasley twins there were other Weasley twins?”
Remus again nodded, while he awkwardly moved closer to Tonks. The tips of his gloved fingers almost touched the soft fabric of her winter robes. Remus Lupin was a man of comfort and not action these days, and the expression on Tonks’ face made it clear that she needed a solid structure to lean on. Their friendship had been cemented on blocks of nights like this; Remus told her more about Lily and James than he had told anybody in the last 15 years. He realized abruptly that he hadn’t answered her questions and sought to rectify his error.
“Molly’s brothers, Gideon and Fabian. They died in the early years of the war?”
“Mmm, around Halloween in 1977,” Tonks agreed. “But you didn’t know that they were some of my Mum and Dad’s best friends, did you?”
Thinking to himself, drawing on a much earlier time, he recalled his first year of Hogwarts. Andromeda Black, Tonks’ mother, had been in Slytherin. Ted Tonks had been in Gryffindor with both Gideon and Fabian Prewett. He, like the rest of the Gryffindors, was enthralled by the romance between Andromeda and Ted. She eloped, leaving her entire Slytherin family and house behind, with a Gryffindor - a Muggle-born Gryffindor at that! Pretty Andromeda, so like her sisters with her sophisticated, moneyed grace and intimidating intelligence, had lacked the all-consuming darkness that followed the rest of the family like a hovering cloud. Or so he had thought.
“Andromeda did suffer,” Remus agreed.
Another bitter giggle came from Tonks. “They died the week before Halloween the year after Percy was born. I think Mum could have handled that they had died because Molly was pregnant with twins in the blink of an eye after their deaths. Mum and Molly were close after the first Weasley twins died - she still has vague ideas that Charlie and I will get married one day. It was what happened after Harry’s parents died that pushed Mum over the edge that year - her best friend, her only friend in Slytherin - was Alice Watson.”
Remus took her hand in his. “Alice Watson is Alice Longbottom?”
Tonks nodded. “I was seven when Neville was born. I met Harry and Neville when they were babies, but Neville was special. Mum couldn’t have children after me, and Alice had been trying to get pregnant for so long and had trouble. When Auntie Bella took Alice and Frank’s minds, she might as well have taken her own sister’s. They say there’s a sick streak in the Blacks,” she finished miserably.
Frowning, Remus looked into her eyes. “You’re not like Bella,” he said, firmly.
“I know, but I am like my Mum,” Tonks admitted, looking away. “And she’s so lovely, working as the apothecary for St. Mungo’s. She’s a healer, but so brilliant in Potions. Everybody said I took after her, I mean, except for Severus… He’s not the most forthcoming with compliments.”
“No,” Remus agreed with a chuckle, “no he’s not.”
Tonks began to brighten, especially as she noticed where her hand resided at the moment. “But my Dad was right growing up, you know.”
“How so?”
“A few years back, he said that it was high time we changed Halloween. Instead of it being the week where Mum cried in her room, it would be our time to take it back. A Day of Retribution - we’d take Halloween back from them, celebrate the lives of the people we lost instead of crying for them. So now, Mum and Dad have this gathering…”
Gathering up her courage, she continued, “Do you maybe want to come with me?”
Remus nodded. “I think a gathering is an excellent idea in this season. And I’d love to go with you.”
Tonks turned as pink as her hair. “I’d love for you to go with me. But it’s a costume ball, and it’s at St. Mungo’s. It’s a big charity event. Ministry employees are also invited, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see Arthur and Molly or even Charlie…”
She frowned. “Mum will of course want Charlie to be there, so I’m sure he got an invitation already even without Molly and Arthur…” She shook her head, smiling again.
“They’re so intent on setting us up that they overlook the fact that he’s been with my best mate from Hogwarts since we were all in Hogwarts… They just don’t have a conventional relationship. Evvie is Potions Mistress at the Salem Witches’ Institute in the States, and Charlie works with those dragons, but… Oi, I’m rambling, I am so sorry, Remus.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye, which was completely attributable to the fact that he now knew that Nymphadora was not interested in Charlie Weasley. “I will have to think of a costume, of course,” he mused.
“I already have one,” Tonks said brightly, gesturing to a forgotten shopping bag by her feet. Inside, Remus could see something gold.
“I’m going to dress like a 70s Muggle,” she said proudly. “My dad hated disco and I thought I’d give him a bit of a scare.”
“Horrifying,” agreed Remus. “Perhaps I will dress as one of the Beatles, just to soothe his aching eyes.”
She laughed with him and stood. “We should get inside. Sirius is staring at us from the window and I think he may burst from the force of his curiosity.”
He followed her into the house, with his hand resting lightly on her lower back in what he hoped was a friendly, but not-too-friendly-as-to-scare-her-off gesture. As expected, Sirius nearly wriggled out of his skin while asking the topic of conversation that would produce a shopping bag full of what appeared to be gold knickers and some sort of fringe-y black halter top that the restless teenager in Remus decided he liked, very much, already.
“Wherever it is, can I come?” Sirius’s grey eyes danced with unexpected merriment for a person stuck inside a dank, dark house full of bad memories.
“It’s a costume ball,” Tonks answered, and looked helplessly at Remus.
“You’re not supposed to leave,” Remus said gently.
“I’ll wear a costume, look.” Sirius pointed his wand at himself and appeared in a giant niffler suit, complete with an over-the-head mask. “This way, I can even have a bit of fun. I’ll nose around in young ladies’ purses and if they’re wearing something shiny,” he said smugly, as he pointedly looked in Tonks’ bag with the gold shorts.
Remus rolled his eyes. “You’d have to stay in that all night. In a furry suit with a mask - which perhaps doesn’t bother you, but the rest of us will have to smell you as you act like a pervert.”
Sirius shrugged his niffler shoulders and kept his hands raised in a “what will it be?” gesture.
Tonks relented a bit and nodded. “My mum does want to see you. Dumbledore let me tell her that you were safe and innocent. She has been rather forceful about being able to speak to you, so maybe in a costume it would be allowable.”
Sirius-niffler jumped up and clapped his hands. Tonks was happy to bring a little more fun into his life, even if it was for a Black family Day of Redemption party. Halloween this year was something to look forward to, something she could not say for most of her life. This year there would be family in costume to ward off the chill from her Aunt Narcissa. This year, Sirius would soothe her Mum’s overwhelming sense of loss. This year, she’d spend it with Remus Lupin at the punchbowl, instead of explaining to her mother why Charlie was so much more interested in her school chum Evelyn, who was clearly less interesting than her own beautiful daughter. This year, she’d watch Sirius amble about in a head-to-toe niffler suit, embarrassing society’s elite by pretending to dig for buried treasure in the bosoms of the over affluent. This year was to be a good year. She could feel it.
However, October 31 generally was a dark time in her life for many concrete, terrible reasons. So, as a result, she sat outside on October 28 and sighed into the crisp air, watching an errant leaf blow haphazardly down the street. Lost in thought, she did not notice a pair of brown, worn shoes attached to legs with brown, worn pants.
“Penny for your thoughts, Nymphadora,” a slightly gravelly voice said gently.
“These thoughts are worth more,” she replied, forcing a smile onto her face. “And don’t call me Nymphadora, Remus. It’s just Tonks.”
The man, Remus, smiled and sat down next to her, offering a bit of chocolate from the bar he had in his pocket. Nodding, she took the proffered piece and popped it into her mouth.
“What has kept you out on this bench? Your beloved cousin has stared at you from the window for the past half hour. He’s been worried, Tonks.”
Tonks shook her head. “This time of year is depressing.”
Remus looked perplexed. “Halloween, with the costumes and sweets? Depressing?”
Turning a bitter smile at him, she shook her head. “The Blacks, at least the women, are prone to depression,” she said softly. “This time of year really upset my mother while I was growing up. She’d stay in bed for days around Halloween some years. Other times she’d cry. She never wanted to feel anything that happened.”
Remus nodded thoughtfully, agreeing. “Sirius was taken to Azkaban, and the Potters died,” he agreed. “Even little Peter was gone, as far as she knew. I can see how it was a dark time for her because it was a dark time for all of us. The first anniversary, I remained in the Shrieking Shack for days before Dumbledore came to speak to me. I can understand her aversion to the holiday.”
Tonks looked at Remus, her dark eyes glinting with what could eventually be unshed tears. “It wasn’t just Sirius and the Potters for her,” she whispered. “it was everybody. Did you know, Remus, that before there was our Weasley twins there were other Weasley twins?”
Remus again nodded, while he awkwardly moved closer to Tonks. The tips of his gloved fingers almost touched the soft fabric of her winter robes. Remus Lupin was a man of comfort and not action these days, and the expression on Tonks’ face made it clear that she needed a solid structure to lean on. Their friendship had been cemented on blocks of nights like this; Remus told her more about Lily and James than he had told anybody in the last 15 years. He realized abruptly that he hadn’t answered her questions and sought to rectify his error.
“Molly’s brothers, Gideon and Fabian. They died in the early years of the war?”
“Mmm, around Halloween in 1977,” Tonks agreed. “But you didn’t know that they were some of my Mum and Dad’s best friends, did you?”
Thinking to himself, drawing on a much earlier time, he recalled his first year of Hogwarts. Andromeda Black, Tonks’ mother, had been in Slytherin. Ted Tonks had been in Gryffindor with both Gideon and Fabian Prewett. He, like the rest of the Gryffindors, was enthralled by the romance between Andromeda and Ted. She eloped, leaving her entire Slytherin family and house behind, with a Gryffindor - a Muggle-born Gryffindor at that! Pretty Andromeda, so like her sisters with her sophisticated, moneyed grace and intimidating intelligence, had lacked the all-consuming darkness that followed the rest of the family like a hovering cloud. Or so he had thought.
“Andromeda did suffer,” Remus agreed.
Another bitter giggle came from Tonks. “They died the week before Halloween the year after Percy was born. I think Mum could have handled that they had died because Molly was pregnant with twins in the blink of an eye after their deaths. Mum and Molly were close after the first Weasley twins died - she still has vague ideas that Charlie and I will get married one day. It was what happened after Harry’s parents died that pushed Mum over the edge that year - her best friend, her only friend in Slytherin - was Alice Watson.”
Remus took her hand in his. “Alice Watson is Alice Longbottom?”
Tonks nodded. “I was seven when Neville was born. I met Harry and Neville when they were babies, but Neville was special. Mum couldn’t have children after me, and Alice had been trying to get pregnant for so long and had trouble. When Auntie Bella took Alice and Frank’s minds, she might as well have taken her own sister’s. They say there’s a sick streak in the Blacks,” she finished miserably.
Frowning, Remus looked into her eyes. “You’re not like Bella,” he said, firmly.
“I know, but I am like my Mum,” Tonks admitted, looking away. “And she’s so lovely, working as the apothecary for St. Mungo’s. She’s a healer, but so brilliant in Potions. Everybody said I took after her, I mean, except for Severus… He’s not the most forthcoming with compliments.”
“No,” Remus agreed with a chuckle, “no he’s not.”
Tonks began to brighten, especially as she noticed where her hand resided at the moment. “But my Dad was right growing up, you know.”
“How so?”
“A few years back, he said that it was high time we changed Halloween. Instead of it being the week where Mum cried in her room, it would be our time to take it back. A Day of Retribution - we’d take Halloween back from them, celebrate the lives of the people we lost instead of crying for them. So now, Mum and Dad have this gathering…”
Gathering up her courage, she continued, “Do you maybe want to come with me?”
Remus nodded. “I think a gathering is an excellent idea in this season. And I’d love to go with you.”
Tonks turned as pink as her hair. “I’d love for you to go with me. But it’s a costume ball, and it’s at St. Mungo’s. It’s a big charity event. Ministry employees are also invited, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see Arthur and Molly or even Charlie…”
She frowned. “Mum will of course want Charlie to be there, so I’m sure he got an invitation already even without Molly and Arthur…” She shook her head, smiling again.
“They’re so intent on setting us up that they overlook the fact that he’s been with my best mate from Hogwarts since we were all in Hogwarts… They just don’t have a conventional relationship. Evvie is Potions Mistress at the Salem Witches’ Institute in the States, and Charlie works with those dragons, but… Oi, I’m rambling, I am so sorry, Remus.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye, which was completely attributable to the fact that he now knew that Nymphadora was not interested in Charlie Weasley. “I will have to think of a costume, of course,” he mused.
“I already have one,” Tonks said brightly, gesturing to a forgotten shopping bag by her feet. Inside, Remus could see something gold.
“I’m going to dress like a 70s Muggle,” she said proudly. “My dad hated disco and I thought I’d give him a bit of a scare.”
“Horrifying,” agreed Remus. “Perhaps I will dress as one of the Beatles, just to soothe his aching eyes.”
She laughed with him and stood. “We should get inside. Sirius is staring at us from the window and I think he may burst from the force of his curiosity.”
He followed her into the house, with his hand resting lightly on her lower back in what he hoped was a friendly, but not-too-friendly-as-to-scare-her-off gesture. As expected, Sirius nearly wriggled out of his skin while asking the topic of conversation that would produce a shopping bag full of what appeared to be gold knickers and some sort of fringe-y black halter top that the restless teenager in Remus decided he liked, very much, already.
“Wherever it is, can I come?” Sirius’s grey eyes danced with unexpected merriment for a person stuck inside a dank, dark house full of bad memories.
“It’s a costume ball,” Tonks answered, and looked helplessly at Remus.
“You’re not supposed to leave,” Remus said gently.
“I’ll wear a costume, look.” Sirius pointed his wand at himself and appeared in a giant niffler suit, complete with an over-the-head mask. “This way, I can even have a bit of fun. I’ll nose around in young ladies’ purses and if they’re wearing something shiny,” he said smugly, as he pointedly looked in Tonks’ bag with the gold shorts.
Remus rolled his eyes. “You’d have to stay in that all night. In a furry suit with a mask - which perhaps doesn’t bother you, but the rest of us will have to smell you as you act like a pervert.”
Sirius shrugged his niffler shoulders and kept his hands raised in a “what will it be?” gesture.
Tonks relented a bit and nodded. “My mum does want to see you. Dumbledore let me tell her that you were safe and innocent. She has been rather forceful about being able to speak to you, so maybe in a costume it would be allowable.”
Sirius-niffler jumped up and clapped his hands. Tonks was happy to bring a little more fun into his life, even if it was for a Black family Day of Redemption party. Halloween this year was something to look forward to, something she could not say for most of her life. This year there would be family in costume to ward off the chill from her Aunt Narcissa. This year, Sirius would soothe her Mum’s overwhelming sense of loss. This year, she’d spend it with Remus Lupin at the punchbowl, instead of explaining to her mother why Charlie was so much more interested in her school chum Evelyn, who was clearly less interesting than her own beautiful daughter. This year, she’d watch Sirius amble about in a head-to-toe niffler suit, embarrassing society’s elite by pretending to dig for buried treasure in the bosoms of the over affluent. This year was to be a good year. She could feel it.