[fic] Deceptive Thoughts
Title: Deceptive Thoughts
Pairing: X27 XanxusTsuna
Summary: Xanxus never understood feelings and whatnot and more importantly the term 'love'. He didn't get it at all…until now.
Rating: PG13
Warning: An emotionally confused Xanxus
Beta'd by Paradoxismminant
Also, this was written before the inheritance arc of the manga so many things are different.
Xanxus hated it when he didn't get something that others did. That was something he despised with all his heart and body.
Of course, the reason as to why he didn't get a lot of things was because he had skipped learning them due to being frozen in ice. He had spent a good part of his life trapped, unable to move or do anything. Luckily, the entire time he had been unconscious as if in a coma but unfortunately, just like a coma, his body still aged and matured without his mind keeping up. Even now, he was still trying to play catch up.
So when it came to certain things...let's say...feelings, he had absolutely no clue on what they were about. He didn't get them at all or how to deal with them except with the obvious method (anger). The Varia leader never understood why the hero would save the princess in those movies he had watched long ago, he had always thought that the hero wanted to princess' status or money or even her body (not love).
And of course, Xanxus' problem has to deal with something similar to that. Poor man...
It had first started when he saw Sawada Tsunayoshi during the ring battle. It was just some fluttering in his stomach that occurred every once in a while. He didn't understand it at the moment and even after when the battle was over. But to cover up that...sensation...he used anger. He raged at anything and especially at Tsuna and when the teen wasn't there, his best next target was Squalo, who was already his prime target already for fits. And like usual, Xanxus would throw things, anything that got into his grasp, and it helped but not for long as it kept coming back.
He saw the teen again, through a picture this time, the feeling came back much stronger than before and in a fit, he tore it up and chucked the pieces into a trash can. The Varia members just stared and shrugged their shoulders, expecting this sort of reaction.
Months passed and still the feeling didn't fade away.
At the inheritance ceremony, the sensation came back once more, but Xanxus knew better than to act on it and held back in spitting any insulting words at Tsuna during the ritual. He remained in the back, watching with the rest of Varia. Levi, during that time, wanted to try and kill the teen but Xanxus didn't let him. After all, Tsuna was his target. So for the moment, as he watched the teen move around, he couldn't bring himself to do or even try anything. All he did the entire time was drink. It was enough to help him pass the time until he was allowed to leave (the Ninth would throw a fit if he left early). He just drank as far away as possible from the group of teenagers and other Mafia-related people, keeping himself isolated from the rest of the party.
Yawning, he eyed the place a little longer before deciding that he wanted someone or something to keep him company. He'll never admit it but he was starting to get a little lonely here so Xanxus reached into his coat and pulled out his box weapon, releasing it with a quick movement of his fingers and a little energy. Bester, when he appeared, gave a mighty roar that made many people in the room snap their attention their way. The twosome didn't care. Meanwhile, the box weapon just circled around his master like he was creating a barrier before lying down on the ground, growling at anyone that would dare come too close. That single act made most of the people in the room move far away from them, something that the Varia leader was quite happy with. To show his gratitude to his box weapon, Xanxus leaned over and rubbed the beast's head, his other hand still holding his wine glass.
After a while, he stopped paying attention to his surroundings since Bester was already doing a great job of doing it for him. Because of that, he didn't notice something small coming close to them until he heard Bester making a warning growl. Xanxus whipped his head over and peered down at the 'thing' that had the guts to come close to them. Instead of seeing a person, he saw a small orange cat. Was it a cat? No, it was more like a miniature lion. The little thing blinked at him and Bester before stepping closer with its tiny paws.
Xanxus didn't do anything at the moment and let it come even closer. After all, if Bester wasn't doing anything why should he? The liger (who was male) turned his head so he could stare at the little lion as it stopped in front of him. It sniffed Bester, then sat down with its long tail wagging behind.
Bester made a small growl in retort but the little beast didn't budge. It scooted closer instead. Xanxus watched the exchange with interest, arms folded with a glass of Cosentino Winery Cabernet Franc (red wine) half-drained in his hand. No one else seemed to notice the small commotion that was happening in their far corner, as they were all avoiding the short-tempered man like a plague. Even his own Varia members didn't dare go close to him.
"Ah! Nuts!"
Xanxus' eyes turned from the two on the ground to the speaker that dared yell in his presence, tempted to throw his glass until he saw who it was. It was Tsuna, Vongola Decimo, and the person that was causing Xanxus' frustration.
The brunet came running forward, pale and his eyes wide in shock. He glanced at his box weapon and then at Xanxus, almost jumping at the scary face and the fire burning in the dark red eyes. Still, even with all that, Tsuna was slightly amazed that Nuts would actually come close to anyone since he knew his box weapon acted just like him in more ways than one. That left him questioning as to why Nuts would suddenly wonder off after being opened like that too. It made no sense.
Meanwhile, the little lion made a small growl before trotting back to his master and jumped from the floor to Tsuna's shoulders in one leap. Nuts tilted his head and then rubbed himself into Tsuna's cheeks like a cat, tail wagging behind. Bester, on the other hand, made a half-like sound before turning his head away.
Tsuna chuckled at Nut's gesture. "There you are, Nuts. You shouldn't wander off like that." His eyes peered hesitatingly at Xanxus, who was taking a sip of his wine, and tried to smile though it was obvious that he was also trying to control his shaking and keeping his voice steady. "I hope he hasn't disturbed you or anything, Xanxus."
The Varia leader took another long sip, the glass almost gone now. "No... He didn't, scum."
The sky guardian's smile froze slightly at the look he was getting, though he did question why the older man was suddenly so…so calm. He had been expecting a lot of things to happen but not this. "Oh, yeah. Good. Well then, I better get going back. Reborn will kill me if he thinks I'm trying to skip." With that, Tsuna disappeared back into the crowd and Xanxus was left feeling that same sensation once more but this time, he didn't feel the need to use anger to get rid of it. He drank the rest of his wine in confusion.
For the rest of the day, he kept noticing that Nuts, Tsuna's box weapon, would keep coming back to Bester and sitting next to him. Xanxus still didn't bother with the little thing and leaned to the side of his chair, watching the interaction between the two creatures, which looked like they were talking to each other. And of course, Tsuna had to keep coming back, grumbling on Nuts' disappearing acts, to retrieve him.
A year or two later, the feeling didn't stop nor fade away.
Time just seemed to proceed like usual and Tsuna, now living in the Vongola base, came to visit the Varia base every few weeks to check up on them. Sometimes he would come with a guardian and other times, he would come by himself (mostly because Reborn forced/threatened him to). And like usual, Tsuna would have Nuts on his shoulders as he entered Xanxus' office, which he had to visit since they needed to either exchange paperwork or give new orders.
"I don't get why?" Tsuna stared at his box weapon that was settled on the couch next to him, looking almost like he was sulking. The Vongola sky guardian was sitting next to Nuts, legs crossed, and wearing a black suit. He had grown over the years, his looks sharpened and had lost some of that baby fat (however there was still plenty there that just seemed to never go away), and his hair had grown out to his shoulders, hanging over. He was taller now but when comparing himself to Xanxus' height, he was still a head shorter (and still was the shortest of his guardians, Chrome even beats him).
"Get what, trash?" Xanxus sneered, refilling his glass with Merlot Blackbird Vineyards (red wine), something that had came in today. It had taken a while for him to get his hands on this since it was supposed to be the best of the Merlot wines collection.
"That whenever I come here, Nuts makes so much noise in wanting to get out that I have no choice but to do so. It's kinda strange, don't you think?" Tsuna stacked the paperwork in his arms, taking curious glances towards his box weapon. The orange flames that surrounded Nuts' head seemed to be smaller than usual and were very still, staring at the ground.
The Varia leader rolled his eyes and felt his own box wobbling against him, from within his pocket. Taking a deep breath, he pulled it out, noticing Nuts' ears picking up. He was almost tempted to chuckle at the sight but held it in. He was in Tsuna's presence, like hell he was going to let the other see him laugh. His ring on his right hand came to life, the orange flame blazing, and opened the box, Bester popping out with a mighty roar.
Instantly, Nuts stood up from his spot and strolled over to the liger, making a small 'gao' sound, his tail wagging behind. The flames around his head puffed up, spinning around in a circle.
Bester just huffed at the response he got and bended over, grasping his teeth gently onto the back of Nuts' head. He lifted up the little lion, carrying him away with his tail trailing right behind. Tsuna and Xanxus just watched in amusement, blinking their eyes at what was happening. The brunet tilted his head next before smiling.
"I guess our box weapons like each other, huh." Tsuna laughed, placing the paperwork he had gotten today on the table in front of him.
'Like...?' Xanxus sneered mentally. He knew the meaning to it but at the same time, he didn't get it. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he swigged the rest of his drink.
Quite honestly, he had never felt that feeling of 'like' before.
Xanxus, after a couple of days from that meeting, pondered over the word 'like' and its meaning and would sometimes look down at his box weapon, wishing it could talk for once. It would definitely be a great help to him.
But he knew that that was impossible.
Still the question didn't leave him.
And he continued to have that unsettling feeling in his stomach that wouldn't leave him at all. But like hell he was going to start asking people to find out what it meant. Everyone that he dared think about would just laugh and tell others.
He growled in frustration.
"Ohhh, boss!"
Xanxus twitched, he recognized that voice anywhere. And it wasn't that hard to do so. It was a one of a kind, literally.
"Boss, listen, listen, you know yesterday, I saw this most adorable little couple on the streets. Ah, such young love!" Lussuria squealed as he came into the office, shaking his body in the usual somewhat creepy way. There was also bright red hearts fluttering around him and he squealed even louder, probably thinking about said couple.
Xanxus growled, rubbing his forehead in frustration. And it just so happened that he was the only one person in the area with the only door in the room closed right behind, blocking him off from those that would wonder the hallway and maybe save him. Curse his luck.
"By the way, Boss, have you found anyone yet?" Lussuria came skipping (yes, skipping) closer, suddenly changing the subject.
Xanxus snapped his eyes open at that and glared. However, it didn't seem to affect the Varia sun guardian, who continued to glow brightly.
"What do you mean?" The boss growled.
The multi-colored-haired man squealed. "I mean love! Love!" He squealed some more and looked like he was going to have an orgasm right there. "It's such a wonderful thing! The way it makes your heart flutter and race and your whole body squirms in delight! Ohhh!" Lussuria wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his body.
Xanxus raised an eyebrow and suddenly paused. 'Flutter...race...' He eyed the deranged man and gave into his curiosity. "Hey, Trash, does love also have fluttering in the stomach as well?"
Lussuria froze for a moment and stared at his boss as if he had grown another head before grinning in absolute delight. He wiggled closer and clapped his hands together. "Boss, don't tell me you've fallen in love with someone? Who is it? Oh, I must know! Who has our darling boss fallen for?"
Xanxus growled and threw his glass wine bottle at the Varia sun guardian in rage. There was a loud crash and Lussuria was running out the door after having narrowly dodged the flying bottle. The wall, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky and was stained with the rich color of the wine but Xanxus didn't care. His mind was deep in thought.
Love...
It was a concept that didn't really exist in his list of words. All he really knew was about hate, rage, greed, and others that were similar. Love was just something he never thought about.
Still...
It did explain a few things.
Closing his eyes, he tried to picture Sawada Tsunayoshi to see if what his oddball of a sun guardian was telling the truth. But all he needed to see was Tsuna's smiling face before his body reacted. Xanxus could feel his heart pounding and an uneasiness swelling up in his stomach. Before he realized it, he felt his cheeks heating up. Xanxus blinked at that and picked up his glass cup that had been saved from his wrath. His fingers wrapped around the thin handle and brought it up to his face, peering into his reflection. His eyes narrowed at the sight.
He was blushing.
Xanxus sneered louder and by instinct, threw the glass to the side, somewhat satisfied when he heard a crash.
Damn Tsunayoshi and his...his...damn...
The Varia leader punched his desk, making a large crack in the furniture that spread all around the surface.
He was in trouble...
The next few times he met up with Tsuna, he tried to contain his feeling as much as possible by covering it up with anger. And as usual, Bester wanted out each and every time. He had no choice but to do so and somehow, it did prove as a good cover-up.
Sometimes he would catch himself staring at the Vongola Decimo and every once in a while, a single smile from Tsuna would make his face turn completely red. Luckily, each time he managed to successfully prevent himself from getting embarrassed but sooner or later, he knew he would be found out.
However, things gradually grew for the worse since Lussuria, of course, couldn't keep his mouth shut about what had happened. It was basically the talk of the entire Varia base and even Vongola's. The news of him falling in love with someone spread like wildfire. And many times Xanxus was pestered about it but it didn't last long. Xanxus, well known for his short-temper, blew up at anyone that dared question him. After so many casualties, many in the hospital still, people stopped. Only the brave or suicidal would still dare to do so.
Tsuna, when he came in after finding out, would stare at Xanxus in question but since he still wanted to live, he remained quiet.
But Xanxus could tell that Vongola Decimo was dying to know and would listen to him carefully when he talked about the bastards around the base, hoping to get some sort of clue.
Bester and Nuts, as usual, would hang out around each other, playing in their own little world and away from their masters. Sometimes, they would go as far as ignoring their masters' calls to come back and return to their boxes. This made Xanxus question things even further, after all, box weapons reflected their masters, but he never bothered to do so. There was no need to in his opinion.
But one day, it all crumbled. The secret Xanxus wanted to keep got loose and all because of the person he had a crush on.
"Hey, Xanxus..." Tsuna asked, sitting in the chair on the other side with the older man on the opposite. It was now or never for him and Tsuna had been threatened not too long ago by Reborn to ask or he would die the most painful death. He had thought it out for a while and in the end, he knew he was going to die either way, either by Reborn's or Xanxus' hand. However, the later was less frightening. "I've always wanted to ask this but is that rumor true?"
Xanxus paused. "What rumor, trash?"
"The one about you liking someone. Is it true?" Tsuna asked, inching away slightly just in case. If something happened, he wanted to at least have a chance of escaping.
The Varia leader growled for a moment though it was obvious that his cheeks were red. But Tsuna wasn't paying that much attention to the details around him and anyway, he thought the color was from rage.
Bester and Nuts that were settled to the side had their tails wagging in anticipation and looked at each other, wondering on what was going to happen next. Suddenly, Xanxus stood up, towering over the younger man, who had paled by then. The Varia leader just leaned over once and tossed Tsuna over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes before storming out, ignoring the cries from behind on his back.
He slammed the door closed behind him, leaving the two box weapons to themselves.
"You lost, Reborn." Viper chuckled, glancing to the hit man that was beside him. He had a smirk on his lips, one in victory. The two arcobaleno were hiding in the shadows, out of sight in the room that Xanxus and Tsuna were once in.
Reborn, on the other hand, had his arms folded, staring where the two bosses had disappeared into. "Damn..."
"Now hand it over." Viper reached over to take the numerous green bills that were in the hit man's outstretched hand and counted them with a smirk. He had never thought he would win this little bet. For a moment, he had thought that Reborn would but Xanxus had done something they weren't clearly expecting except for Viper. After all, who would have thought Xanxus would jump the Vongola boss like that and so fast too.
Viper clearly and obviously had and today, at long last, the two bosses would finally do it. He had been getting tired of their little game.
For Reborn, he had bet tomorrow that Xanxus would jump Tsuna's bones. That evidently wasn't what happened.
Days Later...
When Reborn "accidently" leaked out that Xanxus and Tsuna were together, the reactions to it...weren't as great.
Squalo had fainted immediately on the spot, shocked, right after letting out a scream.
Levi paled and began crying in a little corner, rocking back and forth.
Belphegor just shrugged his shoulders, not really caring.
Lussuria, on the other hand, was squealing in delight, running around happily and demanded to know when the wedding was at. Xanxus immediately tried to kill him at the question and Tsuna just fainted, definitely not expecting that.
The guardians' reactions were slightly different but at the same time, somewhat the same.
Yamamoto just stared and then tilted his head slightly, blinking his eyes from the news. He didn't know how to react to such an announcement.
Gokudera threw a fit before fainting when he found out that his beloved boss and their ex-enemy had already done it.
Ryohei just scratched his head in confusion while Lambo had no clue on what was going on, crying for candy.
Hibari, on the other hand, huffed and stalked away.
Chrome, meanwhile, blinked for a few seconds before smiling and asked if she could get a kiss on film. And even when she got a 'no' in response, she stalked them for those chances and had started to build a small yaoi collection based on them (No one really thought on what Mukuro would react and Chrome refused to say anything on the matter).
All a while, Xanxus grumbled, folding his arms while Tsuna would turn bright red in embarrassment (after waking up from fainting).
Ah...young love.
Sorry, no Fran since he hadn't really arrived yet. Hope you all liked it.