A Brillent White - Color Me With Disbelief
So, here I am, throwing myself out there. Today’s been a big delusional mess. It all started yesterday when, by the grace of witchcraft, the Cavs lost. It was a spiteful thing I hoped for. Never mind: So, Marissa calls Arthur while we are playing StarCraft. She says things like “drinking game” “I’m coming over” “fun fun fun.” Arthur, confused by her ramblings, asks me to get a hold of her and try to translate or figure out our plans for the evening. She doesn’t answer and then calls back after awhile and is like “… aaaaaaaa… yeah… I can’t find the drinking game.” I’m like, “whatever, come over.” She then asks the shittiest question of, “what are we going to do?” I said, “bring your Nintendo DS.” She boldly stated, “I’m MARIO PARTIED OUT!” Whatever: We compromised with her by buying a new board game.
(It’s a cranium game where you get four cards and then try to pick two that the player up, enjoys more than the other two. For example, I was the player up, Arthur and Marissa both gave me two cards and I had to rate them from the best to worst. Monopoly being #1 and making snowmen being #4.)
The night continued with me getting wings, bringing them back with the game and then Arthur and I had this brillent Idea of making her play StarCraft with her new Laptop. It was NERDFEST! So much fun, but I was up till 5 30 a.m. and I had to be at work at 9 a.m. IT SUCKED; however, it was worth it. Kristen-Marisa=CRAZY.
I worked my second to last day of work today, and third to last yesterday. I’m finishing up my projects and getting stuff off the computers I worked on. I’m getting sad, really sad about it. I love that job. It’s easy and super fun and creative. I fear I’ll never be that happy in a position. It’s starting to sink in that change is coming. I’m liking it, but… I’m reminded all that I’m leaving behind/what I can’t take with me. The perk of working the past few days has been training this new kid named Adam. He’s an incoming high-school graduate with little to no photoshop skills. I’ve already thought him heaps and he’s written everything down on a pad. I had him come into today and make TV graphics with alpha channels and… I made him make a greeting card for his Dad! He’s learned a lot very quickly and I think he’s a fine addition to the team.
This experience strengthens my dream of one day becoming a teacher. I feel I have the power to connect well enough to equip youngins with the moneymaking skills of tomorrow.
Got my new digital camera. IT’S AMAZING 8.1 megapixel, sony, it’s just unreal!
I have a phone interview with Petry Media this coming week. The internship would be in NYC. I’d have to get a place in Brooklyn most likely; however, Jen with a heart says I can stay with her for like a month. That would be rad. I’m still figuring out if I’m bringing my Van or not. Probably not, I’ll have my parents drop me off with my clothes and computer. That will be just fine I think. This internship would be the bomb, I just wish it was at a different location (west).
Been talking to Wanida, a friend of mine who I coerced into doing a fashion segment on my show during the spring semester (I thought it would be good therapy of sorts). She’s in Thailand right now visiting her Father/some family. I’ve been making an effort to look for her on AIM and to leave comments here and there just to give her a little sunshine. From what she says, she’s not having a good time and to add, she has mental demons that (who?) are hard to deal with. What's really stricking me about our talks is about the gentleman she's seeing. He seems like a great kid who is acting as I did in my past relationship... like almost exactly. Now that i can see it, it can be only described as self-destructive. The remedy: Take two steps back and two steps away and see if he comes back. Each time, he'll learn from it. It comes down to how many chances someone's willing to give. It's that attitude that lead to turning Maya into a throw away. It’s no lie that I dug Wanida and, in some ways, still do.
I know this may sound like… crazy or something, but Maya hasn’t replied to my last email yet. I don’t think it’s going to happen actually. It’s a book and… I think, in her eyes, there’s no reason to. Not that I think the only reason for contacting was to tell me that she’s defriending me from myspace and coming to warped tour with the creepo, but it just seemed that was the ‘pressing business’ of the time. I’m over reacting though. My heart can’t help it. I started looking at pictures of her again. Her face in the photos with me is hard to take in. It’s … hard to understand how that face of surrender and happiness became… a nothing face. Again over reacting. I need to stop sorting through the pieces of her memory. PS - I was the Garbage Man, asshole.
If you live in Kent, or surrounding, you’re invited to Kurt and I’s goodbye party at the Zephyr this coming Tuesday at 9 p.m. There will be wings and shit. It will probably be your last time to actually see me in the flesh because when I get back from warped tour, I’m basically gone 4 E.
I’ve been listening to a few, selected songs that, for whatever reason, have significant meaning. One of which is called “Ladybird” by Tears For Fears. It’s on their newest release. There’s just something about it: Melancholy in presentation; however, there’s this hope in it that shines. Here are the lyrics. If you have a chance to DL it, it’s on the album Everyone Loves a Happy Ending.
Tell me a story of mind over matter
The hope and glory of life ever after
The sound and the fury the cloak and the dagger
Days when we sink like a stone
Porcelain portraits and silver medallions
Plasticine soldiers that march in battalions
Angels of mercy and lifelong companions
Days when we sink like a stone
There a room somewhere with a different look
Where your secret life is an open book
Where the love we made was a chance we took
Days when we sink like a stone
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Let us be lovers we'll melt after midnight
Hoist up the mainsail we'll coast through the daylight
Twisted like candles that fade in the half-light
Days when we sink like a stone
Well we die sometimes to begin again
When the same old dreams have the same old end
When we lose our mind or we lose our friends
Days when we sink like a stone
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Your friends have gone
Porcelain portraits and silver medallions
Your friends have gone
Plasticine soldiers that march in battalions
Your friends have gone
Angels of mercy and lifelong companions
Tell me a story of mind over matter
The hope and glory of life ever after
The sound and the fury the cloak and the dagger
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Other tracks that do it for me too.
“window song” - Finger Eleven
“Domino Dancing” - Pet Shop Boys
“Mirrorball” - Everything But The Girl
(It’s a cranium game where you get four cards and then try to pick two that the player up, enjoys more than the other two. For example, I was the player up, Arthur and Marissa both gave me two cards and I had to rate them from the best to worst. Monopoly being #1 and making snowmen being #4.)
The night continued with me getting wings, bringing them back with the game and then Arthur and I had this brillent Idea of making her play StarCraft with her new Laptop. It was NERDFEST! So much fun, but I was up till 5 30 a.m. and I had to be at work at 9 a.m. IT SUCKED; however, it was worth it. Kristen-Marisa=CRAZY.
I worked my second to last day of work today, and third to last yesterday. I’m finishing up my projects and getting stuff off the computers I worked on. I’m getting sad, really sad about it. I love that job. It’s easy and super fun and creative. I fear I’ll never be that happy in a position. It’s starting to sink in that change is coming. I’m liking it, but… I’m reminded all that I’m leaving behind/what I can’t take with me. The perk of working the past few days has been training this new kid named Adam. He’s an incoming high-school graduate with little to no photoshop skills. I’ve already thought him heaps and he’s written everything down on a pad. I had him come into today and make TV graphics with alpha channels and… I made him make a greeting card for his Dad! He’s learned a lot very quickly and I think he’s a fine addition to the team.
This experience strengthens my dream of one day becoming a teacher. I feel I have the power to connect well enough to equip youngins with the moneymaking skills of tomorrow.
Got my new digital camera. IT’S AMAZING 8.1 megapixel, sony, it’s just unreal!
I have a phone interview with Petry Media this coming week. The internship would be in NYC. I’d have to get a place in Brooklyn most likely; however, Jen with a heart says I can stay with her for like a month. That would be rad. I’m still figuring out if I’m bringing my Van or not. Probably not, I’ll have my parents drop me off with my clothes and computer. That will be just fine I think. This internship would be the bomb, I just wish it was at a different location (west).
Been talking to Wanida, a friend of mine who I coerced into doing a fashion segment on my show during the spring semester (I thought it would be good therapy of sorts). She’s in Thailand right now visiting her Father/some family. I’ve been making an effort to look for her on AIM and to leave comments here and there just to give her a little sunshine. From what she says, she’s not having a good time and to add, she has mental demons that (who?) are hard to deal with. What's really stricking me about our talks is about the gentleman she's seeing. He seems like a great kid who is acting as I did in my past relationship... like almost exactly. Now that i can see it, it can be only described as self-destructive. The remedy: Take two steps back and two steps away and see if he comes back. Each time, he'll learn from it. It comes down to how many chances someone's willing to give. It's that attitude that lead to turning Maya into a throw away. It’s no lie that I dug Wanida and, in some ways, still do.
I know this may sound like… crazy or something, but Maya hasn’t replied to my last email yet. I don’t think it’s going to happen actually. It’s a book and… I think, in her eyes, there’s no reason to. Not that I think the only reason for contacting was to tell me that she’s defriending me from myspace and coming to warped tour with the creepo, but it just seemed that was the ‘pressing business’ of the time. I’m over reacting though. My heart can’t help it. I started looking at pictures of her again. Her face in the photos with me is hard to take in. It’s … hard to understand how that face of surrender and happiness became… a nothing face. Again over reacting. I need to stop sorting through the pieces of her memory. PS - I was the Garbage Man, asshole.
If you live in Kent, or surrounding, you’re invited to Kurt and I’s goodbye party at the Zephyr this coming Tuesday at 9 p.m. There will be wings and shit. It will probably be your last time to actually see me in the flesh because when I get back from warped tour, I’m basically gone 4 E.
I’ve been listening to a few, selected songs that, for whatever reason, have significant meaning. One of which is called “Ladybird” by Tears For Fears. It’s on their newest release. There’s just something about it: Melancholy in presentation; however, there’s this hope in it that shines. Here are the lyrics. If you have a chance to DL it, it’s on the album Everyone Loves a Happy Ending.
Tell me a story of mind over matter
The hope and glory of life ever after
The sound and the fury the cloak and the dagger
Days when we sink like a stone
Porcelain portraits and silver medallions
Plasticine soldiers that march in battalions
Angels of mercy and lifelong companions
Days when we sink like a stone
There a room somewhere with a different look
Where your secret life is an open book
Where the love we made was a chance we took
Days when we sink like a stone
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Let us be lovers we'll melt after midnight
Hoist up the mainsail we'll coast through the daylight
Twisted like candles that fade in the half-light
Days when we sink like a stone
Well we die sometimes to begin again
When the same old dreams have the same old end
When we lose our mind or we lose our friends
Days when we sink like a stone
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Your friends have gone
Porcelain portraits and silver medallions
Your friends have gone
Plasticine soldiers that march in battalions
Your friends have gone
Angels of mercy and lifelong companions
Tell me a story of mind over matter
The hope and glory of life ever after
The sound and the fury the cloak and the dagger
Ladybird fly away our friends are gone
Ladybird fly away our house is on fire
Other tracks that do it for me too.
“window song” - Finger Eleven
“Domino Dancing” - Pet Shop Boys
“Mirrorball” - Everything But The Girl