You Don't Know
I don't want her to leave. everytime I spend time with her, the fact that i'll never be with her hurts more and more.
she said she was sad that we would forget her yet we made an impact on her. she couldnt be more wrong.
before any of this I once dreamt about holding her in my arms as she slept. Now I daydream about it.
it was only a game but I shouldnt have kissed her. I didnt know. I didn't know this love would come pouring out of me like a tap. like yesterday, she playfully showed her belly talking about her (not needed!) diet. she asked if we wanted to kiss it in that playful way she does. rich did. I had to. it hurt so much but I might never get that chance again.
she asked something about how she looked, I had to fight myself to not say in front of matt and rich that she was literally perfect.
I can't ever do it, but I want so badly to tell her she is perfect, I love her, and I don't want her to leave. but that's not fair. unless its forced I don't want to end what I have. and its unfair to burden someone with my feelings when I can't act on them. Not that she even feels the same.
but I want her to understand just how capable and inspirational she is. maybe this means im in no position to complain about kam, but as jessie and matt said, they respect me for my honesty. I just wish I knew whether it was the right thing to tell someone who might not know it just how headfuckingly amazing they are. id give anything for her to stay
she said she was sad that we would forget her yet we made an impact on her. she couldnt be more wrong.
before any of this I once dreamt about holding her in my arms as she slept. Now I daydream about it.
it was only a game but I shouldnt have kissed her. I didnt know. I didn't know this love would come pouring out of me like a tap. like yesterday, she playfully showed her belly talking about her (not needed!) diet. she asked if we wanted to kiss it in that playful way she does. rich did. I had to. it hurt so much but I might never get that chance again.
she asked something about how she looked, I had to fight myself to not say in front of matt and rich that she was literally perfect.
I can't ever do it, but I want so badly to tell her she is perfect, I love her, and I don't want her to leave. but that's not fair. unless its forced I don't want to end what I have. and its unfair to burden someone with my feelings when I can't act on them. Not that she even feels the same.
but I want her to understand just how capable and inspirational she is. maybe this means im in no position to complain about kam, but as jessie and matt said, they respect me for my honesty. I just wish I knew whether it was the right thing to tell someone who might not know it just how headfuckingly amazing they are. id give anything for her to stay