(no subject)
Ok. So this is just a let of steam sort of entry. Here goes.
I am absoloutly fed up with everything atm. It's because, everything around me is upside down and it's my fault. Mia and Shane had a huge row, and it got very out of hand, so I called the police, now Mia's living with us, and Mia and shane are at each others fucking throats all the time, like a couple of fucking wankers. No offence to you Mia, but you living with us is a bit stressful,it's just..it is stressful!
Me in myself, am feeling shit. Absoloutly. It just seems never ending..whatever it is that's happening. For instance, at the start of the year I had the flu, which windled out into a cold eventually after like, 3 months. Then it went. Now i've got a cold AGAIN and it's getting worse, my psycologist says it's because I don't eat well. IF I EAT. I GET FAT. SIMPLE. So you know, I have to suffer at my own stupid hands. Why can't I be normal and eat like every other tosser on this earth? I hate food, which is my own stupid fault for forcing myself to not eat. NOW I'M FUCKED.
Oli. The guy who makes me want to go to school, the person who makes my stomach get butterflies every time he's in the room. Oli. Well, what's the fucking point really? I mean, why the hell would a boy like Oli be interested in me? I get high, I drink Vodka, neat, I swear like a trooper, I smoke fags for Britain, I always have a look on me like the back end of a bus. I'm not pretty like everyone else. For instance, again, here's me, WATCHING MY WEIGHT and fat cows like Sian Sanders, get all the attention? What the fuck? Alice Warner, ADELAIDE! My own best friend. What Is The Point? I seriously, am thinking of giving up. But, i can see people saying i'm being pathetic. Whatever.
Maybe, i have been saying this to Lennie, (in letters obviously) I should leave. Maybe that'd make me feel a little less stressed. Maybe then I wouldn't have to put up a BIG front all day everyday. Maybe I wouldn't deliberatly lie in bed, til 4pm cause I don't want to come downsatirs. Maybe my life might seem worth something more than it is, if i knew i was on m own, and happy. I hate sounding like an ungrateful cunt here, but my life is shit. Not going to explain why, as John tells me to shut up about speaking about ym best friend. Thanks John, great yeah fantastic.
Sometimes i wish people would LISTEN to me. I ASKED my mum in letters, notes, to her face, to ring hughy to see if i can stay with him, for a wekk. But no, shes to embarrased to speak on the phone. I AM GOING TO LEAVE IF SHE DOESNT HELP ME. Iknow i am being ungrateful, but my psycologist said, I should put myself first, when I asked what that ment he said i should think of me AS WELL as others. Mum. You need to help me a tad, i keep outta your tony shit, so you have to hold up your end of the bargain. I know she has her own problems, but i can't really handle mine yet, small s they may be, it's..hard. I just would like a break to think. But no. Laurens being selfish. Great family i have.
-Lauren
I am absoloutly fed up with everything atm. It's because, everything around me is upside down and it's my fault. Mia and Shane had a huge row, and it got very out of hand, so I called the police, now Mia's living with us, and Mia and shane are at each others fucking throats all the time, like a couple of fucking wankers. No offence to you Mia, but you living with us is a bit stressful,it's just..it is stressful!
Me in myself, am feeling shit. Absoloutly. It just seems never ending..whatever it is that's happening. For instance, at the start of the year I had the flu, which windled out into a cold eventually after like, 3 months. Then it went. Now i've got a cold AGAIN and it's getting worse, my psycologist says it's because I don't eat well. IF I EAT. I GET FAT. SIMPLE. So you know, I have to suffer at my own stupid hands. Why can't I be normal and eat like every other tosser on this earth? I hate food, which is my own stupid fault for forcing myself to not eat. NOW I'M FUCKED.
Oli. The guy who makes me want to go to school, the person who makes my stomach get butterflies every time he's in the room. Oli. Well, what's the fucking point really? I mean, why the hell would a boy like Oli be interested in me? I get high, I drink Vodka, neat, I swear like a trooper, I smoke fags for Britain, I always have a look on me like the back end of a bus. I'm not pretty like everyone else. For instance, again, here's me, WATCHING MY WEIGHT and fat cows like Sian Sanders, get all the attention? What the fuck? Alice Warner, ADELAIDE! My own best friend. What Is The Point? I seriously, am thinking of giving up. But, i can see people saying i'm being pathetic. Whatever.
Maybe, i have been saying this to Lennie, (in letters obviously) I should leave. Maybe that'd make me feel a little less stressed. Maybe then I wouldn't have to put up a BIG front all day everyday. Maybe I wouldn't deliberatly lie in bed, til 4pm cause I don't want to come downsatirs. Maybe my life might seem worth something more than it is, if i knew i was on m own, and happy. I hate sounding like an ungrateful cunt here, but my life is shit. Not going to explain why, as John tells me to shut up about speaking about ym best friend. Thanks John, great yeah fantastic.
Sometimes i wish people would LISTEN to me. I ASKED my mum in letters, notes, to her face, to ring hughy to see if i can stay with him, for a wekk. But no, shes to embarrased to speak on the phone. I AM GOING TO LEAVE IF SHE DOESNT HELP ME. Iknow i am being ungrateful, but my psycologist said, I should put myself first, when I asked what that ment he said i should think of me AS WELL as others. Mum. You need to help me a tad, i keep outta your tony shit, so you have to hold up your end of the bargain. I know she has her own problems, but i can't really handle mine yet, small s they may be, it's..hard. I just would like a break to think. But no. Laurens being selfish. Great family i have.
-Lauren