A polite letter to Spammers - public by request
Dear Spammers,
I do not own a house, so I do not need to refinance. Please stop sending the "lowest rates ever" emails.
I do not need to increase my penile size, as I do not have a penis. My significant other does not need to increase his size, either; he is quite well-endowed. Please stop sending me Viagra-clone emails.
I am not going to give you any information on my bank account. I don't care what country you say you're from or how risk-free you insist it is. I do not believe you. Please stop sending me ridiculous emails.
I'm not interested in sex websites involving granny sex, "HOT TEENZ," barnyard animals, or anything else along those lines. I am not going to pay to look at your bizarre and disturbing images, and by doing so getting myself signed up to recieve 100 more porn ads via email a day. Please stop sending me your emails geared for pathetic losers who will never get any.
I am not interested in an "absolutely completely free gift" that is actually the beginning to some sort of subscription or membership. I do read fine print. I am not going to become a member of your "wonderful" service or club. Please stop sending me intentionally misleading emails.
To all spammers who give links that say "click here to be removed" which have a link that is actually a redirect to a site that puts fifteen different invasive cookies in the browser cache: I am HTML literate. I can tell if a link is going to be an email address or a weblink. Just because you set the href to a webpage and have the text link as an email address does not mean I will fall for it. Get a life and leave me to mine.
To those who send emails with subject lines that seem like regular emails: just because I bother opening the email does not mean I will visit your site. Indeed, it makes certain I will not do so. Likewise, emails with a "check this out" in the subject line and nothing but a bizarre URL--usually hosted by geocities--will be ignored.
To all other spammers: go away. It's not going to get you business from me.
Sincerely,
Za Metallium
PS: If I ever run across you in real life, I will slake my bloodlust on you, likely rending you to pieces with a grapefruit spoon and my nails. Thank you.
I do not own a house, so I do not need to refinance. Please stop sending the "lowest rates ever" emails.
I do not need to increase my penile size, as I do not have a penis. My significant other does not need to increase his size, either; he is quite well-endowed. Please stop sending me Viagra-clone emails.
I am not going to give you any information on my bank account. I don't care what country you say you're from or how risk-free you insist it is. I do not believe you. Please stop sending me ridiculous emails.
I'm not interested in sex websites involving granny sex, "HOT TEENZ," barnyard animals, or anything else along those lines. I am not going to pay to look at your bizarre and disturbing images, and by doing so getting myself signed up to recieve 100 more porn ads via email a day. Please stop sending me your emails geared for pathetic losers who will never get any.
I am not interested in an "absolutely completely free gift" that is actually the beginning to some sort of subscription or membership. I do read fine print. I am not going to become a member of your "wonderful" service or club. Please stop sending me intentionally misleading emails.
To all spammers who give links that say "click here to be removed" which have a link that is actually a redirect to a site that puts fifteen different invasive cookies in the browser cache: I am HTML literate. I can tell if a link is going to be an email address or a weblink. Just because you set the href to a webpage and have the text link as an email address does not mean I will fall for it. Get a life and leave me to mine.
To those who send emails with subject lines that seem like regular emails: just because I bother opening the email does not mean I will visit your site. Indeed, it makes certain I will not do so. Likewise, emails with a "check this out" in the subject line and nothing but a bizarre URL--usually hosted by geocities--will be ignored.
To all other spammers: go away. It's not going to get you business from me.
Sincerely,
Za Metallium
PS: If I ever run across you in real life, I will slake my bloodlust on you, likely rending you to pieces with a grapefruit spoon and my nails. Thank you.