wtf?????
"Thank you for your application for admission to the University of Maryland. While we cannot offer you admission for the fall semester, we are impressed with all you have accomplished and we are pleased to offer you admission for the Spring 2008 semester which begins in January. You can look forward to receiving an official decision letter which will contain detailed information about your admission and the variety of options available to you prior to your spring enrollment at the University of Maryland. We invite you to explore the University of Maryland Freshmen Connection program which is available to you during the fall semester."
Dear University of Marlyand Admissions Office,
Please allow me to comprehend your retarded admissions decision. So basically, my "impressive accomplishments" are good enough for me to be admitted, but due to the "space limitations" you mentioned in the letter I received today, you can't accomodate me on your campus. Couldn't you waitlist me like a normal college? Or just reject me so I don't feel like a dumbass? Please don't misconstrue that I spent 8 hours on your extraneous, labor-intensive, two-part application so that I could sit around and rot for 6 months while everyone else is happily adjusting at their dream school. Yes, it's true. All that time I invested into your required three-page essay, personal statement, "niche" questions and lengthy resume...having to speed-mail you my SAT scores from collegeboard.com and harass my (literally) bipolar hippie 9th grade English teacher in Vermont to write me a recommendation letter...precious moments of my fleeting youth, wasted. Frankly, I don't feel like attending your crappy alternative first semester program and consequently risking postponing graduation, missing out on an actual college experience and dwelling in self-pity at J. Seargant Reynolds. LOL!
Love,
Jules
Dear University of Marlyand Admissions Office,
Please allow me to comprehend your retarded admissions decision. So basically, my "impressive accomplishments" are good enough for me to be admitted, but due to the "space limitations" you mentioned in the letter I received today, you can't accomodate me on your campus. Couldn't you waitlist me like a normal college? Or just reject me so I don't feel like a dumbass? Please don't misconstrue that I spent 8 hours on your extraneous, labor-intensive, two-part application so that I could sit around and rot for 6 months while everyone else is happily adjusting at their dream school. Yes, it's true. All that time I invested into your required three-page essay, personal statement, "niche" questions and lengthy resume...having to speed-mail you my SAT scores from collegeboard.com and harass my (literally) bipolar hippie 9th grade English teacher in Vermont to write me a recommendation letter...precious moments of my fleeting youth, wasted. Frankly, I don't feel like attending your crappy alternative first semester program and consequently risking postponing graduation, missing out on an actual college experience and dwelling in self-pity at J. Seargant Reynolds. LOL!
Love,
Jules