Life
Well i havent written in this thing for about 4 months. The past couple of days i have been reading all the old entries in my other personal journal. So much has happened since then. Looking back at 9/2/04 my life has changed a lot. Ashley and I are still together and going strong. On our 1 year anniversary I gave her a promise ring and soon after that she gave me one. I want to be with her the rest of my life. She has helped me so much the past year and a half. She has influenced me to believe in myself and to try my hardest and be ther best i can be. I cant believe im almost done with my first year of college. It's been a rough road and very hard to leepp this long distance relationship going. My professor just said that people who marry/are in a relationship earlier in life dont stay together as long. That is a stereotype and i so want to prove that wrong. Ashley and i are so perfect for eachother. I love her with all my heart. It feels like weve been together for so long when in reality its only been a year and a half. I cant even begin to explain how much she means to me. She is so awesome. I dont think i could go on without her. Shes been such a driving force in my life. Helping me through the the bad times with kevin and my grandma. She didnt even know me that well. Heck it was the day i asked her out that the whole kevin incident happened. She has helped me through more than she knows. There has always been this void in my life that nothing could ever fill. After I met Ashley i fell that it has been filled. She has filled that void that was there. I love her so much, as a girlfriend, a friend, a lover, a tutor, a mentor, a guide, a angel. She is my closest friend, i can talk to her about anything and she will listen. My life has changed so much since 9/2/04. I have grown as a person and i have grown as a friend as well. I have learned so much from Ashley. Not just intellectually but as a boyfriend and as a partner. Goign through this critical point in my life and having her in my life is exactly what i need. I always wanted someone to care for and someone to care for me and i have found that person. I care so much abuot Ashley. The fact that anyone could hurt someone that is so sweet angers me. So in reality i guess i am angry at myself. I mean i know im not perfect, but i hurt her yesterday. I feel so bad when i hurt her, my stomach turns upsidedown with the thought of ever losing her because of something that i did. I never want to lose her. I cant even begin to explain how much she means to me. I cant even begin to imagine nor do i want to of what my life would be like without her. I love her so much and want to be by her side the rest of my life.