So I come across stuff on CNN.com every so often...
...and I'm just having a really hard time working up any enthusiasm, even though I feel like I should, for this. Or this. And it's reinforced by what I hear and observe at work much of the time. I so often find myself feeling thankful for and appreciative of my own situation, mindful of the many little moments I can enjoy that would otherwise be denied or severely curtailed.
It's not that I can't see the appeal! There are real positives, and sometimes I imagine the high points and think about how great they would be. Especially when I read some really wonderful stories here on LJ. I do worry about the regret I might feel one day if I were to pass it up.
The thing is, for me, personally...historically I've been very sensitive to things one might characterize as a "constant, staticky background" of stressors and have a pretty good track record of identifying and predicting the ways in which circumstances affect my baseline mood and tuning them accordingly. (Except for the "more sleep" thing. I've never been able to get my act together on that one.) The cost looms so much larger in my mind than the positives. So, when I do a gut-check, my reaction is the emotional equivalent of touching a hot stove. I know that's not true for everyone, many people's instincts are as clear as a bell in the other direction. And I didn't always have that reaction. It's developed gradually over the years as I've observed more and gained more life experience...and, yes, become more set in my ways, which sounds much lamer but is also true.
Some claim that Science! backs up my gut on this, but of course I'm aware of the pitfalls of confirmation bias.
Speaking of cognitive biases, it's worth noting that I'm highly, perhaps even pathologically, prone to loss aversion and the endowment effect. I mean, humans generally are, but I think I take to the level of eccentricity at least. Inertia is possibly my greatest character flaw (albeit one that can be spun into a virtue in some situations), the root cause of most of my bad behaviors. My reaction could just a manifestation of that. Every experience I've had with moving supports that hypothesis, so it's worth considering.
Of course, maybe part of the reason I feel so guilty and conflicted and unsure about what would, regarding any other matter, be a simple choice, is because both tradition and popular culture would paint me as a shallow asshole or, at best, an idiot man-child who just needs a lesson in what life is really about. On the other hand, perhaps my better nature really is trying to assert itself against my rationalizations. On the other other hand, I'm not really feeling that last sentence. Am I supposed to? Am I just overanalyzing normal reservations that everyone has?
EDIT: Before anyone else asks, of course mrsmetallian and I have talked about this! She reads my LJ, I wouldn't have just revealed all this here for the first time, that would be rather dysfunctional. We have this conversation every so often, including the other day. The results are inconclusive and her career at the moment precludes making a binding decision in the immediate future. I posted here to organize my thoughts on "paper" and expose them to light and fresh air. The usage of "I" above is simply to avoid speaking for her.
It's not that I can't see the appeal! There are real positives, and sometimes I imagine the high points and think about how great they would be. Especially when I read some really wonderful stories here on LJ. I do worry about the regret I might feel one day if I were to pass it up.
The thing is, for me, personally...historically I've been very sensitive to things one might characterize as a "constant, staticky background" of stressors and have a pretty good track record of identifying and predicting the ways in which circumstances affect my baseline mood and tuning them accordingly. (Except for the "more sleep" thing. I've never been able to get my act together on that one.) The cost looms so much larger in my mind than the positives. So, when I do a gut-check, my reaction is the emotional equivalent of touching a hot stove. I know that's not true for everyone, many people's instincts are as clear as a bell in the other direction. And I didn't always have that reaction. It's developed gradually over the years as I've observed more and gained more life experience...and, yes, become more set in my ways, which sounds much lamer but is also true.
Some claim that Science! backs up my gut on this, but of course I'm aware of the pitfalls of confirmation bias.
Speaking of cognitive biases, it's worth noting that I'm highly, perhaps even pathologically, prone to loss aversion and the endowment effect. I mean, humans generally are, but I think I take to the level of eccentricity at least. Inertia is possibly my greatest character flaw (albeit one that can be spun into a virtue in some situations), the root cause of most of my bad behaviors. My reaction could just a manifestation of that. Every experience I've had with moving supports that hypothesis, so it's worth considering.
Of course, maybe part of the reason I feel so guilty and conflicted and unsure about what would, regarding any other matter, be a simple choice, is because both tradition and popular culture would paint me as a shallow asshole or, at best, an idiot man-child who just needs a lesson in what life is really about. On the other hand, perhaps my better nature really is trying to assert itself against my rationalizations. On the other other hand, I'm not really feeling that last sentence. Am I supposed to? Am I just overanalyzing normal reservations that everyone has?
EDIT: Before anyone else asks, of course mrsmetallian and I have talked about this! She reads my LJ, I wouldn't have just revealed all this here for the first time, that would be rather dysfunctional. We have this conversation every so often, including the other day. The results are inconclusive and her career at the moment precludes making a binding decision in the immediate future. I posted here to organize my thoughts on "paper" and expose them to light and fresh air. The usage of "I" above is simply to avoid speaking for her.