I am being stalked.
Today I took some soboxone and I felt reallyyyy good. I went on a hike with an old friend from childhood after class, and we visited my first kitty, Bebe's grave. She was a good cat and I miss her a lot. She had a lot of personality. Afterward I just hit up tumblr and waited for Korey to come over. We watched a movie and then I gave him dome. I did a really awesome job tonight. I know I keep getting better at it, I just didn't even know there was room for improvement! Haha.
Last night as I was writing my speech, Matt's girlfriend Stephanie started with her routine psychosis and taking it out on me, but this time she took it to a new level and after I asked one of my followers, who I also follow, a question she asked her (Holly) if she "approves of herself speaking to a succubus who is a backstabber" or some insane thing like that. Holly responded awesomely with "I don't have any idea what you are talking about." After I saw this I informed Holly that it was my ex's girlfriend and that she is quite insane, and apologized a few times for the disturbance. At this point it was close to or after 6AM and my speech was finished and it was time for a few hours of shut eye. Holly was cool and said it wasn't my fault and wished me luck in class. After which, Stephanie (the psycho) spewed out all this extra bullshit in Holly's askbox, all about interaction that had gone on in December that she had taken to court already to show a judge so she could get a restraining order ON ME! Even though she initiated all contact with me, wouldn't stop contacting me and started a Tumblr months after I did, just so she could look at my stuff/post stuff both directly and indirectly about me and to me. After I lost my temper and threatened to kick it, and wished her the worst for cervical cancer, the judge found that was the only form, if at all, of harassment or could be seen as a threat and placed a temporary restraining order on me, protecting her. Since then she has incessantly kept up her comments and obsession with and about me to. no. end. Last night was a perfect example. She saves everything I blog, and swears up and down that it is all about her. Which I find scary. Matt's little sister, Diana texted me one day and told me just how insane, obsessed, and insecure she believed Stephanie to be, which was information and opinion that poor Diana had gathered from living with the maniac. She told me about a fake facebook page that Stephanie made and friended me with, and said it was a black guy. Which made me remember there was some kid that I had added that had a fair share of mutual friends with me, but no one seemed to know who he was, Not to mention, on the court date a couple pieces of her evidence was from my facebook, which she had no access to in any way, due to my privacy settings, and was essentially deemed inapplicable. I blamed any mutual friends we had at the time, including Nicole on spying and leaking what I said on facebook to Stephanie. But now that Diana has shed some light for me, I see that it isn't Nicole. I would apologize in my mistrust toward her, but in addition to her claiming I was a bad friend the entire duration of our friendship, she has also teamed up with the psycho and began badmouthing me, to no end I am sure, as well. I really did feel bad about bringing charges against Diana in court though. I don't think she would unveil things about Stephanie to me in that nature if she really hadn't gotten in a fight with her and hated her now. I just don't see a benefit in it for any of them if that was the case.
The scariest part for me is that any time I ask Stephanie to "Leave me alone, and to PLEASE stop looking at my tumblr" she seems to turn around and tell me to "leave her alone" and then proceeds to change her url. Which really is just her little game of renewing what she started and seeing if I will respond. I was over it until she started talking about my parents. Which is ridiculous. I can really just tell that she is a spoiled little scared and insecure person who has no true interests of her own, so she feeds off of mine, and tries to be a carbon copy just so she can be sure that Matt will like her at LEAST for as long as he liked me. I really feel bad for him, and I wonder constantly if he knows the type of stuff she posts about me and how often. If he does, in fact know and is aware, it is one of two things: either he is very immature like her, and needs to move on. Or, conversely, I feel bad for him that she won't allow him to do so. I encouraged him to move on the day I told him how unfaithful I was to him. I don't see that even being a possibility for him if he is with someone whom his sister even said really just obsesses over me. Diana said she NEEDS something to obsess over. And seeing how this girl spoke and held herself in court, really just confirms that something isn't right with her. That she has this propulsion to be explosive and obsessive in her mind and in her actions (her constant picking at her cuticles) her nerves really got the best of her that day, like when she would be explaining something to the judge and her story would build and her volume and her posture; she seemed so defensive, and deceptive. I remember just shaking my head in disbelief at the notions she was making, and so does Kristina, who was there observing the case and being there for support for me. The lady typing out the case and the judge had to keep telling her to slow down and take a breath. She wasn't very articulate at all, which is evident as well in her psycho-babble she writes about me on the internet. Someone so unstable really is quite scary, and to think that the judge couldn't see it, and placed the protection over her because of a poor choice of words of frustration on my part. That is really one of two of my points of regret, the other is telling her that I would seek a restraining order, giving her the idea, she jumped to it before I had the time or the care to. Now her new threat has been to "renew the RO" and ruin my chances at my career.
The judge clearly asked her if this was her intent in the first hearing to which she responded "I don't want to get anyone in trouble, I just want her to go away." Clearly under oath means nothing to her because if that were the case she wouldn't say anything about me, or look at my blog and wrongly assume that every single post is about her, then I would be leaving to Basic Training sooner and I wouldn't have to go to the optional (on her part) follow-up court date. I don't dread it however. I know what I need to say. I know that she is going to get defensive while deceptive once again. And this time I really do have the proof that she is crazier than I originally knew her to be, considering I didn't even know her to begin with, and still don't. On one occasion she even had the outright audacity to post a picture of me on her tumblr, which I found completely mental. Kristina saw it before I saw it, and she and called her. Stephanie then called the police, who then showed up at my house and told me that even Kristina contacting her was not allowed, but also that the judge telling Stephanie that this would ruin my chance in the Navy was untrue, and that in their opinion her actions were complete overkill, and uncalled for. I've just had to put up with her more and more, and it has really been a major source of stress, and I think it is safe to say, the only real one of late. I think it has gotten to be such a stress factor that it's started to cause these chronic and pounding headaches, that I really have never experienced before. If they don't go away in a week I am going to the doctor for them, and definitely will be telling them the source, and bringing a notice to court, saying "look, this is actually doing me bodily harm in just dealing with it." I am anticipating joining the Navy, I have classes I am taking among other entrance obstacles I am facing, when I am sure this girl has little to no life if she is asking my followers things, which brings me to another point:
My friend IRL, Ryan James got a tumblr and posted some funny stuff on his, then he threw me a little something in my askbox. After I answered it and published it, he revealed to me that he had 1 new follower! Excited that a fellow troll found his few meme-based entries funny and intriguing, I asked what the url was of the follower. It was her. She deliberately followed my friend because he was in contact with me on tumblr. And now, due to the fact that she has contacted Holly (who even lives in a different country!) another tumblr user who follows me and is in contact with me, I believe it is safe to say that anyone I am in contact with on tumblr she follows. Tumblr is supposed to be an amazing mini-blog website for people to have fun on and share things that can't be shared anywhere else. She has turned the term 'following' into virtual internet stalking.
I really think the judge made a goof and kind of upside-downed this whole little catastrophe. I just don't know how to argue my side. People have suggested I get an attorney, people suggest I deactivate my tumblr, which I really don't want to do. I enjoy my time on there and I should by all means be able to use any type of social networking sites, blogs, et cetera that I want to, without someone "scaring" or harassing me out of the joy and even the efficacy of it.
To my Livejournal friends, I really had to rant this out somewhere that I know she won't see. I am sorry it is so long. If you did read it I would love some feedback. If you didn't, no love gone.
Either way I really need to get cracking on some poetry to share with you, and to maybe spend a little more time on this site! (:
Peace, Love, Safety, and Namaste