My new, old favorite game
I can't understand why we like The Oregon Trail so much. It's a goddamed infuriating game. Random as hell. The odds of winning are like, 1 in 6 even if you are a doctor. If you're not, hahaha, good luck to you. I promise not to do anything obscene to your grave as I pass it. The hunting, oh, yeah, realism at it's absolute finest. Bullets go faster than that if you throw them. And I love the part about how you can only carry 200 pounds of the carcass back even if you have a full party of five. In that same vein, how come if there's only one of you, you can only carry 100 pounds? Silly, if you ask me. (And, yes, I know you didn't) You can carry 100 pounds, but your useless buddies that you could probably do better off without, cause you don't need them getting dysentery and shitting all over your supplies, can only carry 25 each? Way to go guys...can I trade 4 people for a couple oxen, or maybe a set of clothing, please? Well, probably not, because in my opinion, about 80% of the trades that people try to make are such rips, seriously. Whoa, I can get 100 pounds of food if I give you an ox? Really? Oh, goody...go fuck yourself...I could get more meat if I just shot the motherfucker.
I know it's an old game. And I know it's supposed to be educational. But really though, why, why, why did a thief just get away with stealing 600 pounds of food, or two oxen? Did he put them under his shirt? If he did, wouldn't that make him an exceptionally large target? Why didn't we see his thieving ass? Why didn't we pump him full of lead? With that much weight, he'd be going slower than the bullets...we'd almost certainly hit him.
Probably my favorite part is the random deaths. 'Jebadiah got sick and died.' Actually, I guess I can't get too pissed off about that, cause illness was pretty serious in that time, but oh, my God, after a fire burns up 863 pounds of food, six sets of clothing and 43 bullets (which no one would live through, because bullet holes in your liver, lungs, brain, and various arteries tend to make it pretty impossible...), and your wagon tongue breaks for the 2nd time and you can't fix it, and you already used your spare, and you have to trade for one and he wants 129 pounds of food and you have no choice cause you need a wagon tongue to keep going, so now you're out of food, ammo, and clothing....Then that mother fucking asshole Jebadiah decides to die on ya...Fine, bitch, I didn't need ya anyway, now our food stock will last a little longer!
But I can't stop playing.
I know it's an old game. And I know it's supposed to be educational. But really though, why, why, why did a thief just get away with stealing 600 pounds of food, or two oxen? Did he put them under his shirt? If he did, wouldn't that make him an exceptionally large target? Why didn't we see his thieving ass? Why didn't we pump him full of lead? With that much weight, he'd be going slower than the bullets...we'd almost certainly hit him.
Probably my favorite part is the random deaths. 'Jebadiah got sick and died.' Actually, I guess I can't get too pissed off about that, cause illness was pretty serious in that time, but oh, my God, after a fire burns up 863 pounds of food, six sets of clothing and 43 bullets (which no one would live through, because bullet holes in your liver, lungs, brain, and various arteries tend to make it pretty impossible...), and your wagon tongue breaks for the 2nd time and you can't fix it, and you already used your spare, and you have to trade for one and he wants 129 pounds of food and you have no choice cause you need a wagon tongue to keep going, so now you're out of food, ammo, and clothing....Then that mother fucking asshole Jebadiah decides to die on ya...Fine, bitch, I didn't need ya anyway, now our food stock will last a little longer!
But I can't stop playing.