Again, It's been a long time
Well, since it has been forever and approximately a day since I have posted in here.....maybe I should write something since I am extremely bored at work. Things have been going decently well in my life....other than massive amounts of school work, many hours at work work, and then the life long struggle in money troubles. My job is taking a toll on my life, and I am really over corporation politics....however, we all know that we cannot seem to ever escape a life of living in a customer service world....and that each job we hold will be sacrificed enjoyment for democrasy....sigh....
My friends and their relationships have drastically changed over the past year or two...some for good, some for bad...and some indifferent....sometimes I feel like it is my own fault for some of the ways that things turn out, and sometimes I have to remember that not everything in this world is my fault, and to accept the blame for those things that happen that I am a direct result of. I really miss the bonds that I had with friends during my last years in high school, but rather than weep about regressing to old memories, I know I must move on and accept that we are getting older....I choose not to say growing up, since I know that some of us are not getting any further on any type of maturity level, and some of us are still stuck struggling through college and shitty jobs when we should really be finished with a 4 year degree, making 6 figures a year....
My family is doing fairly well...except for my extremely rude Aunt, who thinks that everyone (mainly my mother and my grandmother) should bow down to her and kiss her ass, and make sure that everything she needs is handed to her on a silver plate. I have been enlightened to the facts of the family over the past few years....my grandfather's mother was young when she got pregnant with my grandfather, so she was sent away to a special school for women who were "troubled" back then....since having a child out of wedlock was so taboo, and unspeakable back in those days (wow, look how the economy has progressed since then)....and after she returned from birthing my grandfather, her parents had decided that it was necessary for them to adopt my grandfather to save the family's name....so legally, since then...my grandfather's mother was his sister on record. How does this work out? I always thought that the bitter old woman was my great Aunt, when she was actually my great Grandmother....how I wish I knew...then I was led a peek into my father's family past....my Grandfather on that side of the family was an alcoholic with a major gambling problem...he got himself into so much trouble that he decided that he was going to drink himself into oblivion, and shoot himself in the head in the room next to where my father was. How traumatic can that be???? I could not even imagine having to witness/clean up/see/think about my father doing something like that to himself....how terrible....then my mother has been giving my insight to my Aunt's lifestyle....and that every argument that they have had was over myself. My aunt always fought with my mom over the way that she raised me. (Like my aunt knows a damned thing about raising a child...she doesn't have any, nor does she even have the equipment to bear a child, either)...and I really think that it is severely unfair that my mother had to listen to that crap for almost 25 years now. How can she treat my mother like that? Especially now, since I am well over being of adult age, and can take care of myself, and the choices I make are my own, and have nothing to do with my mother any longer. It's just sad that my mother has had to deal with all this aggravation since I was born, and it's all directed down on me. I understand that I have no control over how my mother raised me, or anything that she told me, but I can only imagine that she did a pretty damn good job taking care of me. I'm certainly not a drug addict, dealer, stealer, faker, liar, anything like that. I am a good person who does good things for other people. I am a tad bit lazy, and I do not always accept blame for things that I do, but I am working on that. I'm not a school nerd, and I am not ready to think about the future. I like to take life one day at a time. Sometimes it is hard, since I know that we are supposed to be setting goals for ourselves, and keeping a track record of where we want to go in life, but I am just taking things in shorter strides. I like to keep my stress levels at a minimum.
My dog is a pain in the ass, and because he is still a puppy, he chews up everything in sight, and he is just attention stricken, and wants to lick your skin off your bones. He is hard to take care of, but we seem to manage. I guess having a living pet (other than my beta, in which Ive been trying to secretly kill off for almost a year now) gives us a little insight to what children would be like. I'm not too sure I would be keen on having one of those attached at my hip all day every day. We'll see where that leads me in the future.
Well, my boredom has not yet left me, but I am tired of typing all this stuff out, and I guess that was all I had to say for now. I hope anyone/everyone else who reads this is well in their life, and I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend!!!
-ta
My friends and their relationships have drastically changed over the past year or two...some for good, some for bad...and some indifferent....sometimes I feel like it is my own fault for some of the ways that things turn out, and sometimes I have to remember that not everything in this world is my fault, and to accept the blame for those things that happen that I am a direct result of. I really miss the bonds that I had with friends during my last years in high school, but rather than weep about regressing to old memories, I know I must move on and accept that we are getting older....I choose not to say growing up, since I know that some of us are not getting any further on any type of maturity level, and some of us are still stuck struggling through college and shitty jobs when we should really be finished with a 4 year degree, making 6 figures a year....
My family is doing fairly well...except for my extremely rude Aunt, who thinks that everyone (mainly my mother and my grandmother) should bow down to her and kiss her ass, and make sure that everything she needs is handed to her on a silver plate. I have been enlightened to the facts of the family over the past few years....my grandfather's mother was young when she got pregnant with my grandfather, so she was sent away to a special school for women who were "troubled" back then....since having a child out of wedlock was so taboo, and unspeakable back in those days (wow, look how the economy has progressed since then)....and after she returned from birthing my grandfather, her parents had decided that it was necessary for them to adopt my grandfather to save the family's name....so legally, since then...my grandfather's mother was his sister on record. How does this work out? I always thought that the bitter old woman was my great Aunt, when she was actually my great Grandmother....how I wish I knew...then I was led a peek into my father's family past....my Grandfather on that side of the family was an alcoholic with a major gambling problem...he got himself into so much trouble that he decided that he was going to drink himself into oblivion, and shoot himself in the head in the room next to where my father was. How traumatic can that be???? I could not even imagine having to witness/clean up/see/think about my father doing something like that to himself....how terrible....then my mother has been giving my insight to my Aunt's lifestyle....and that every argument that they have had was over myself. My aunt always fought with my mom over the way that she raised me. (Like my aunt knows a damned thing about raising a child...she doesn't have any, nor does she even have the equipment to bear a child, either)...and I really think that it is severely unfair that my mother had to listen to that crap for almost 25 years now. How can she treat my mother like that? Especially now, since I am well over being of adult age, and can take care of myself, and the choices I make are my own, and have nothing to do with my mother any longer. It's just sad that my mother has had to deal with all this aggravation since I was born, and it's all directed down on me. I understand that I have no control over how my mother raised me, or anything that she told me, but I can only imagine that she did a pretty damn good job taking care of me. I'm certainly not a drug addict, dealer, stealer, faker, liar, anything like that. I am a good person who does good things for other people. I am a tad bit lazy, and I do not always accept blame for things that I do, but I am working on that. I'm not a school nerd, and I am not ready to think about the future. I like to take life one day at a time. Sometimes it is hard, since I know that we are supposed to be setting goals for ourselves, and keeping a track record of where we want to go in life, but I am just taking things in shorter strides. I like to keep my stress levels at a minimum.
My dog is a pain in the ass, and because he is still a puppy, he chews up everything in sight, and he is just attention stricken, and wants to lick your skin off your bones. He is hard to take care of, but we seem to manage. I guess having a living pet (other than my beta, in which Ive been trying to secretly kill off for almost a year now) gives us a little insight to what children would be like. I'm not too sure I would be keen on having one of those attached at my hip all day every day. We'll see where that leads me in the future.
Well, my boredom has not yet left me, but I am tired of typing all this stuff out, and I guess that was all I had to say for now. I hope anyone/everyone else who reads this is well in their life, and I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend!!!
-ta