page seventeen | goddamn this noise inside my head

[metalandashes]

I used the crystal. Think I probably

Don't know if I can

Ended up on the floor. So much for sittin down.

Bastet I need someone to cover my shift tonight.

[ooc: strikes heavily blacked out immediately after writing]

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quicklog

[metalandashes]

[In the absence of her touch, his hands loll in the air, fingers curling towards his palms like blind dogs seeking their master. He grits his teeth, tightens the muscles in his forearms in that certain way. The claws slide free of their housing, emerging from between his knuckles with a quiet sound of metal moving over metal. He makes it slow -- it hurts more, bolts of pain running all the way up to his shoulder and back, but he wants it to hurt. Wants to feel it, the small price he pays.

The metal blades gleam, light pooling over their sides, being split by the impossibly sharp edges. Phoenix lets his hands hang as if in supplication, supported by the leaning weight of his elbows on his knees. He doesn't look at Companion.]

When I was born, I had these. [He turns his hands a little, studying the shine of the metal.] Leapt outta my cocoon, damn near killed Drake with 'em. I never put much thought to it -- figured they were a part'a whoever I was before I came here. Then, durin' the invasion -- and now, this memory.. what I was doin'.. what I remember..

[He looks up at Companion, finally.]

I can smell things.. hear things. I can track someone across the tree if I want. I know how to fight, where to hold, where to.. to use these.. [he raises his hands, the claws, then lowers them. Something in his expression tightens, begins to fracture. Tears, unheeded, roll down from his eyes.]

Darlin', I think.. I think.. [he pulls in a shuddering breath, and seems to fold in on himself, his head bowed over his daggered fists and white knuckles.] Ah, fuck.

quicklog

[galacticgeisha]

[Unaware of what is about to come she watches with confusion evident on her face. The pain he is channeling gives her pause, truly not wanting to see him hurt but having difficulty stopping herself from watching. When the metal emerges from his knuckles her jaw drops slightly, her usual iron-clad grip on her emotions slipping.

Part of her wants to attempt to feel the metal appendages, however common sense reminds her they're possibly sharp and to give him space. Her nervousness fading as Companion remembers that this is Phoenix and trusts that he would not harm her, she carefully moved behind him to rest one hand on his shoulder.]

In your dream, you had those as well. I remember that. [She let's her fingers trail down his arm slowly.] I'm sure you were scared, worried, your dream and then the way you woke up clouding your judgement. You didn't kill him, that much is known, so you showed you could control yourself.

[Her expression still soft, she blinks at Phoenix.]

You speak as though you believe yourself to be an animal, but this is not true, we both know this. You are clearly in control of yourself. [Seeing the tears any internal struggle she had been dealing with fades as she carefully uses her hand to brush the moisture from his face. He always seemed so stoic, emotions roiling just underneath the surface, to see him actually cries pierces her to the soul.]

I'm sure there is a lot you're thinking now... [She sighs, wanting to take his hands and show she's not scared but not wanting to intrude.] Oh Phoenix...