In Dreams
Sometimes I wonder if it's ok to write sad journal entries... I know a lot of people do it, but I would feel guilty about it because I would feel as if I'm just striving to get attention. That being said what I usually do is just be really cynical and use really sad words, and then say that I'm in a weird mood but not say why. And then people either (a) get really annoyed that I'm not telling why, or (b) just ignore it and figure that I'll get over it in a few days. But if I sit and tell why it sounds really stupid and overdramatic... so I dunno, I'll opt for it today just for a change...
That being said, I went to visit my previous school, Trinity, this weekend to see all my old friends and I'm kinda in a weird mood because it just reminded of how I don't really have many friends up here in Dallas and sometimes I wonder if it was right for me to transfer. I know, sure, people will say "oh it hasn't been much time yet, give it a while" but I'm just worried that I'll never end up meeting people. On the same note I'm also referring to girls. I'm worried that I'll never meet someone who will make me happy... not that they don't exist, just that they do and I will just never have met them, or maybe I'll meet them and they will be 'unavailable'. I'm really scared about having to live the rest of my life alone, and I'm sure a lot of peopple are. Yeah, yeah, if I want to meet people I should start going to more school events and stop hanging out in my room like a loser, but I have this tendency to be really introverted on the outside (ie hard for me to talk to people) yet on the inside if I'm not around people I go crazy. I need to do something... at this rate I'm never gonna meet anybody. And going back to Trinity and seeing all my old friends, and actually getting some real interaction with people other than my roommate other than over the phone or internet was really refreshing and just reminded me of what I've been missing out on.
Ok I'm done with my little self-pity ramble...
Ok but besides that I had an awesome weekend. It was a long 5hr drive there and back, but it was managable thanks to Thrice and my cell phone. I just bought the new Thrice cd and I gotta say, it's really amazing; it seems like they lost almost all of their punk roots and instead of heavy emo-metal they decided to go art-rock. And the result was very awesome... I would understand why long-time fans might be a little upset by the change though, if Tool suddenly became a Punk band I would be pissed too. But anyways my drive cycle went like this: Listen to Thrice cd, call someone, listen to Thrice cd, call someone else, and so on... it really works, I highly recommend this system for any long trips, although you could replace the Thrice cd with any other cd, but I don't recommand that.
So after having called some people (including my grandma who ended up giving me dating advice... "Now Adam, all you gotta do is smile at the nice little girls and be yourself." Which probably isn't bad advice... anyways I showed up at Trinity and met Caroline and Catelyn and we listened to my new Stephen Lynch a lot and laughed... it makes me feel good whenever they laugh. Then Stephanie showed up a little later and the 4 of us went to Chile's and just chilled and had a good meal, so that was good. Then we went back and went to hang out with the guys, though it made me really sad to leave the girls because I felt like I didn't get to see them very long at all and I missed hanging out with them alot... but anyways, I headed over to the guys (Vikas, Joel and Zain) to hang out and Zach showed up when I was on my way there. We played Smash Bros for a while until we got tired of it and then just chilled for a while. Then we went to lunch the next day and then I left Trinity for Dallas. It didn't feel like I had been there very long, but the sucky thing is that the drive takes so long that I end up spending almost a whole day just driving (5ish hour drive).
Ok well that's my boring entry, but I'm kind of in a boring mood so you'll have to forgive me = P.
I wish I could see all my old South friends but it'd be even harder than visiting Trinity cause you South people are all over America. I want to see you guys someday though because I miss all of you a lot.
Oh yeah and also, anybody at Trinity who saw me, do you think I should cut me hair or no? I mosty didn't cut it out of convenience but if it isn't too bad I might hold off a little bit on the haircute. I guess what I'm asking is which looks better, short or long(ish)?
That being said, I went to visit my previous school, Trinity, this weekend to see all my old friends and I'm kinda in a weird mood because it just reminded of how I don't really have many friends up here in Dallas and sometimes I wonder if it was right for me to transfer. I know, sure, people will say "oh it hasn't been much time yet, give it a while" but I'm just worried that I'll never end up meeting people. On the same note I'm also referring to girls. I'm worried that I'll never meet someone who will make me happy... not that they don't exist, just that they do and I will just never have met them, or maybe I'll meet them and they will be 'unavailable'. I'm really scared about having to live the rest of my life alone, and I'm sure a lot of peopple are. Yeah, yeah, if I want to meet people I should start going to more school events and stop hanging out in my room like a loser, but I have this tendency to be really introverted on the outside (ie hard for me to talk to people) yet on the inside if I'm not around people I go crazy. I need to do something... at this rate I'm never gonna meet anybody. And going back to Trinity and seeing all my old friends, and actually getting some real interaction with people other than my roommate other than over the phone or internet was really refreshing and just reminded me of what I've been missing out on.
Ok I'm done with my little self-pity ramble...
Ok but besides that I had an awesome weekend. It was a long 5hr drive there and back, but it was managable thanks to Thrice and my cell phone. I just bought the new Thrice cd and I gotta say, it's really amazing; it seems like they lost almost all of their punk roots and instead of heavy emo-metal they decided to go art-rock. And the result was very awesome... I would understand why long-time fans might be a little upset by the change though, if Tool suddenly became a Punk band I would be pissed too. But anyways my drive cycle went like this: Listen to Thrice cd, call someone, listen to Thrice cd, call someone else, and so on... it really works, I highly recommend this system for any long trips, although you could replace the Thrice cd with any other cd, but I don't recommand that.
So after having called some people (including my grandma who ended up giving me dating advice... "Now Adam, all you gotta do is smile at the nice little girls and be yourself." Which probably isn't bad advice... anyways I showed up at Trinity and met Caroline and Catelyn and we listened to my new Stephen Lynch a lot and laughed... it makes me feel good whenever they laugh. Then Stephanie showed up a little later and the 4 of us went to Chile's and just chilled and had a good meal, so that was good. Then we went back and went to hang out with the guys, though it made me really sad to leave the girls because I felt like I didn't get to see them very long at all and I missed hanging out with them alot... but anyways, I headed over to the guys (Vikas, Joel and Zain) to hang out and Zach showed up when I was on my way there. We played Smash Bros for a while until we got tired of it and then just chilled for a while. Then we went to lunch the next day and then I left Trinity for Dallas. It didn't feel like I had been there very long, but the sucky thing is that the drive takes so long that I end up spending almost a whole day just driving (5ish hour drive).
Ok well that's my boring entry, but I'm kind of in a boring mood so you'll have to forgive me = P.
I wish I could see all my old South friends but it'd be even harder than visiting Trinity cause you South people are all over America. I want to see you guys someday though because I miss all of you a lot.
Oh yeah and also, anybody at Trinity who saw me, do you think I should cut me hair or no? I mosty didn't cut it out of convenience but if it isn't too bad I might hold off a little bit on the haircute. I guess what I'm asking is which looks better, short or long(ish)?