Fic: Twenty Facts about Uhai
Title: Twenty Facts about Uhai
Fandom: FE7
Character/Pairing: Uhai, UhaiWil, mentioned RathWil and LegaultHeath, past tense UhaiMark
Genre: Humor/Romance
Word Count: 1586
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Mentions of sex, etc
Summary: Twenty things you never knew about Uhai (and probably didn't want to know)
Notes: Okay, this is based off what you do in 20_facts, except it's about FE7 instead of Naruto. Also, it's AU. Highschool AU, to be exact (except Uhai isn't the one in high school). Which I know is really really horrible, but, um... I like it. Yes, yes, shame on me. Whatever. Also, there's tense changes in this. It goes past tense > present tense > future tense. It's supposed to show what happened, what's happening, and what will happen. Though I stick to one tense per fact, so you don't have to worry about the changes being completely random or whatever.
And, um, since Uhai doesn't have much of a canon personality, me n' Ceolsige have sort of... given him our own. Which is him being a pervert, in essence. Um. Wow, this is making me sound really horrible...
1. Whenever Uhai tells people he’s a photographer (in his spare time), they immediately assume he’s a nude photographer.
He still finds amusement in the disbelieving stares he gets when he says he’s a nature photographer.
2. Truthfully, Uhai does have a few nude photographs. They’re of people he’s had very deep, serious relationships with.
Suffice to say, it’s a small collection, and it won’t be growing anymore because he’s all but given up on ever having a serious relationship again after what happened with Mark.
3. Originally, Uhai had wanted to be a full-time photographer. But that didn’t pay the rent, so he decided to become a PE coach assistant instead.
Uhai still can’t believe he found a use for majoring in PE and photography.
4. Uhai first met Wil the first year he was a PE coach assistant.
Wil was only 15 then, but had a very huge, very obvious crush on Uhai, and Uhai enjoyed teasing Wil and flirting with Wil whenever he had detention (which was quite a lot, actually).
5. Wil was one of the few people Uhai ever considered breaking his rule of ‘no sex unless they’re over 15’ for.
6. Originally, Uhai hadn’t broken his rule because he’d feel bad about taking Wil’s virginity when he didn’t really care for Wil (and because he knew the situation could get quite messy).
Uhai’s still miffed about learning that Wil had lost his virginity the year before and that he completely missed his chance for sex in a sport’s equipment closet with Wil, because he didn’t learn that until after Wil had gotten over his crush.
7. Uhai doesn’t remember when he and Wil first really became friends. It could have been when his roommate Legault started dating Heath, one of Wil’s friends, so they all spent an inordinate amount of time together. Or maybe it was when Rath started dating Wil, because Uhai’s friends with Rath, so they all had to spend an inordinate amount of time together.
Regardless, Uhai only remembers vaguely realising they were close friends when Wil coming over on Friday’s to watch bad, amateur porn with him and making funny commentary on it became the norm.
8. Everyone knows Wil and Rath’s relationship would never work. Wil is too clingy, Rath is too cold, and the only way it could end will be in disaster.
Regardless, whenever Rath shows up on his doorstep after a fight with Wil, Uhai will give him relationship advice. He knows he’s just prolonging the inevitable, but being with Wil has made Rath happier than he’s been in a long, long time.
9. The break-up is messy and painful, though it happened much later than anyone thought. Uhai doesn’t know who broke up with whom, only that he ended up having to comfort the both of them.
It’s things like this that remind Uhai of why he doesn’t do serious relationships.
10. Surprisingly, Rath and Wil still remain friends after the break up, as messy as it was. Uhai thinks it’s because they still love each other, but he knows it’s most likely Wil still wanted to be friends (he’s like that with a lot of his past boyfriends, actually) and Rath just went along with it.
He’s resentful about that despite himself because he wishes it could have gone that way with him and Mark.
11. During the summer, Uhai always spends most of his time over at Wil’s house, if only because Wil’s too lazy and too hot to do anything. He climbs through Wil’s always open window, only because Wil’s parents go completely insane at the thought of Wil having a boy up in his room (they never did accept Wil being gay very well).
12. Somehow, when trying to get Wil to leave his room and do something, Uhai always ends up lying in bed with Wil. Uhai really doesn’t mind that much, usually just wonders how it happened, because Wil’s really adorable when he’s half asleep.
And because it’s much, much easier to feel Wil up (who’s too hot to really care what happens so long as it doesn’t make him hotter).
13. During the summer, unsurprisingly enough, Uhai and Wil have casual sex for the first and only time.
It’s the hottest day in the whole summer, and both are lying in Wil’s bed, disinclined to do anything but sweat. Wil gets to go take a shower because, as he says, “it’s too damn hot and I’m starting to sweat through my clothes.” Jokingly, Uhai asks to join, knowing full well what the answer will be. Surprisingly, Wil says yes, citing that he’s too hot to care either way.
They end up having sex on Wil’s bathroom floor. Afterwards, Wil whines that he hit his head (though he quickly adds that he enjoyed the sex anyways) and Uhai’s left thankful that Wil’s parents are gone for the week and feeling strangely empty.
Uhai’s left very unsettled by the feeling and all and all the experience wasn’t that enjoyable.
14. Neither of them ever brings up the experience again, and Uhai’s just glad it didn’t get awkward afterwards.
He is left wondering when no-strings-attached sex became unenjoyable, though.
15. For Wil’s 18th birthday, Uhai does what all good friends should do and buys him some dirty porn mags. He also buys Wil his favorite bad amateur porn video, the particularly awful lesbian one where one girl had face stubble and the other had a mustache.
Wil rolls his eyes at Uhai, he really should have expected this, but says thank you anyway.
16. The next morning, Uhai gives Wil a puppy as a real present under the pretense that he found it, didn’t want to just put in the pound, and that he remembered Wil going on about the dog he had as a kid and how much he missed. The explanation is half-mumbled and Uhai feels stupid through out the whole thing.
When Wil gushes and squees over the dog and tells Uhai it was the best birthday present he’s ever gotten, Uhai still feels embarrassed and like an idiot. He’s not sure why.
Whenever Wil talks about his dog to other people, he’s nice enough to say his parents gave it to him.
17. It’s the summer before Wil leaves for college that their relationship actually develops into something more.
Uhai doesn’t remember exactly when it started. It could have been when they started sharing long, passionate kisses with each other, or perhaps when they started having sex. Either way, Uhai only remembers when he knew it was serious, when he asked, in a breathless little whisper, “Hey, Babe, can I take a nude photo of you?”
18. As soon as school starts, Wil’s out of the little town he hates like a rocket, going all the way to a well-known beauty school in New York with Serra. They write to each other in the beginning, but soon the strain of a long distant relationship is too much for the both of them and the writing will stop all together.
Uhai moves away, Wil stays in New York, and the relationship is slowly forgotten.
19. Ten years later, they’ll meet up again at the Ten Year High School Reunion (Uhai will only be invited because that was the year he first started working there). Uhai will be dateless, Wil will be dateless, and they’ll find each other before they find any of their other friends. Ten minutes of conversation, fifteen of dancing around the subject, and five before they’re finally able to sneak out to go to a hotel.
They’ll have sex, more than once, and it’ll the best sex either of them has had in years. The next morning, they won’t leave their room until early afternoon and will spend the whole time kissing each other and loving each other and talking lightly of who’ve they seen recently and how everyone is. Wil will bring up the subject of starting a relationship again, he’s really missed Uhai over the years, but will sound embarrassed and unsure, like he doesn’t know if he’s over stepping the line with what happened the night before.
Uhai will want to, he really will, but responsibilities will get in the way. He has a job, he has friends, and he won’t just be able to leave those all behind. They’ll talk it over for a while before finally settling on a long-distance relationship, though Wil will be slightly reluctant because of what happened last time. Uhai will assure him that it’ll work, and he’ll be right, though neither will find out till much later.
20. Ten months of a writing letters to each other, some of which Uhai made rather… graphic, much to Wil’s chagrin (he’d never admit to secretly enjoying Uhai still thinking about him like that), fifteen weeks of getting ready and saying good-bye and taking care of obligations, and five days until Uhai is finally moved in with Wil.
They’ll be happy together, but rather poor (hair dressing and photography aren’t especially successful career paths) and they’ll make just enough to get by and then a little extra, but it won’t matter either way to them. They’ll have fun in their jobs, in their lives, and if worst comes to worst they can always get a little help from their scientist-turned-model friend Legault and his bodyguard of a boyfriend, Heath (though Uhai will always say it’s a complete waste of an associate’s degree in biology).
---
Anti-climatic ending much? Um... concrit = love. Feel free to tear this apart.
Fandom: FE7
Character/Pairing: Uhai, UhaiWil, mentioned RathWil and LegaultHeath, past tense UhaiMark
Genre: Humor/Romance
Word Count: 1586
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Mentions of sex, etc
Summary: Twenty things you never knew about Uhai (and probably didn't want to know)
Notes: Okay, this is based off what you do in 20_facts, except it's about FE7 instead of Naruto. Also, it's AU. Highschool AU, to be exact (except Uhai isn't the one in high school). Which I know is really really horrible, but, um... I like it. Yes, yes, shame on me. Whatever. Also, there's tense changes in this. It goes past tense > present tense > future tense. It's supposed to show what happened, what's happening, and what will happen. Though I stick to one tense per fact, so you don't have to worry about the changes being completely random or whatever.
And, um, since Uhai doesn't have much of a canon personality, me n' Ceolsige have sort of... given him our own. Which is him being a pervert, in essence. Um. Wow, this is making me sound really horrible...
1. Whenever Uhai tells people he’s a photographer (in his spare time), they immediately assume he’s a nude photographer.
He still finds amusement in the disbelieving stares he gets when he says he’s a nature photographer.
2. Truthfully, Uhai does have a few nude photographs. They’re of people he’s had very deep, serious relationships with.
Suffice to say, it’s a small collection, and it won’t be growing anymore because he’s all but given up on ever having a serious relationship again after what happened with Mark.
3. Originally, Uhai had wanted to be a full-time photographer. But that didn’t pay the rent, so he decided to become a PE coach assistant instead.
Uhai still can’t believe he found a use for majoring in PE and photography.
4. Uhai first met Wil the first year he was a PE coach assistant.
Wil was only 15 then, but had a very huge, very obvious crush on Uhai, and Uhai enjoyed teasing Wil and flirting with Wil whenever he had detention (which was quite a lot, actually).
5. Wil was one of the few people Uhai ever considered breaking his rule of ‘no sex unless they’re over 15’ for.
6. Originally, Uhai hadn’t broken his rule because he’d feel bad about taking Wil’s virginity when he didn’t really care for Wil (and because he knew the situation could get quite messy).
Uhai’s still miffed about learning that Wil had lost his virginity the year before and that he completely missed his chance for sex in a sport’s equipment closet with Wil, because he didn’t learn that until after Wil had gotten over his crush.
7. Uhai doesn’t remember when he and Wil first really became friends. It could have been when his roommate Legault started dating Heath, one of Wil’s friends, so they all spent an inordinate amount of time together. Or maybe it was when Rath started dating Wil, because Uhai’s friends with Rath, so they all had to spend an inordinate amount of time together.
Regardless, Uhai only remembers vaguely realising they were close friends when Wil coming over on Friday’s to watch bad, amateur porn with him and making funny commentary on it became the norm.
8. Everyone knows Wil and Rath’s relationship would never work. Wil is too clingy, Rath is too cold, and the only way it could end will be in disaster.
Regardless, whenever Rath shows up on his doorstep after a fight with Wil, Uhai will give him relationship advice. He knows he’s just prolonging the inevitable, but being with Wil has made Rath happier than he’s been in a long, long time.
9. The break-up is messy and painful, though it happened much later than anyone thought. Uhai doesn’t know who broke up with whom, only that he ended up having to comfort the both of them.
It’s things like this that remind Uhai of why he doesn’t do serious relationships.
10. Surprisingly, Rath and Wil still remain friends after the break up, as messy as it was. Uhai thinks it’s because they still love each other, but he knows it’s most likely Wil still wanted to be friends (he’s like that with a lot of his past boyfriends, actually) and Rath just went along with it.
He’s resentful about that despite himself because he wishes it could have gone that way with him and Mark.
11. During the summer, Uhai always spends most of his time over at Wil’s house, if only because Wil’s too lazy and too hot to do anything. He climbs through Wil’s always open window, only because Wil’s parents go completely insane at the thought of Wil having a boy up in his room (they never did accept Wil being gay very well).
12. Somehow, when trying to get Wil to leave his room and do something, Uhai always ends up lying in bed with Wil. Uhai really doesn’t mind that much, usually just wonders how it happened, because Wil’s really adorable when he’s half asleep.
And because it’s much, much easier to feel Wil up (who’s too hot to really care what happens so long as it doesn’t make him hotter).
13. During the summer, unsurprisingly enough, Uhai and Wil have casual sex for the first and only time.
It’s the hottest day in the whole summer, and both are lying in Wil’s bed, disinclined to do anything but sweat. Wil gets to go take a shower because, as he says, “it’s too damn hot and I’m starting to sweat through my clothes.” Jokingly, Uhai asks to join, knowing full well what the answer will be. Surprisingly, Wil says yes, citing that he’s too hot to care either way.
They end up having sex on Wil’s bathroom floor. Afterwards, Wil whines that he hit his head (though he quickly adds that he enjoyed the sex anyways) and Uhai’s left thankful that Wil’s parents are gone for the week and feeling strangely empty.
Uhai’s left very unsettled by the feeling and all and all the experience wasn’t that enjoyable.
14. Neither of them ever brings up the experience again, and Uhai’s just glad it didn’t get awkward afterwards.
He is left wondering when no-strings-attached sex became unenjoyable, though.
15. For Wil’s 18th birthday, Uhai does what all good friends should do and buys him some dirty porn mags. He also buys Wil his favorite bad amateur porn video, the particularly awful lesbian one where one girl had face stubble and the other had a mustache.
Wil rolls his eyes at Uhai, he really should have expected this, but says thank you anyway.
16. The next morning, Uhai gives Wil a puppy as a real present under the pretense that he found it, didn’t want to just put in the pound, and that he remembered Wil going on about the dog he had as a kid and how much he missed. The explanation is half-mumbled and Uhai feels stupid through out the whole thing.
When Wil gushes and squees over the dog and tells Uhai it was the best birthday present he’s ever gotten, Uhai still feels embarrassed and like an idiot. He’s not sure why.
Whenever Wil talks about his dog to other people, he’s nice enough to say his parents gave it to him.
17. It’s the summer before Wil leaves for college that their relationship actually develops into something more.
Uhai doesn’t remember exactly when it started. It could have been when they started sharing long, passionate kisses with each other, or perhaps when they started having sex. Either way, Uhai only remembers when he knew it was serious, when he asked, in a breathless little whisper, “Hey, Babe, can I take a nude photo of you?”
18. As soon as school starts, Wil’s out of the little town he hates like a rocket, going all the way to a well-known beauty school in New York with Serra. They write to each other in the beginning, but soon the strain of a long distant relationship is too much for the both of them and the writing will stop all together.
Uhai moves away, Wil stays in New York, and the relationship is slowly forgotten.
19. Ten years later, they’ll meet up again at the Ten Year High School Reunion (Uhai will only be invited because that was the year he first started working there). Uhai will be dateless, Wil will be dateless, and they’ll find each other before they find any of their other friends. Ten minutes of conversation, fifteen of dancing around the subject, and five before they’re finally able to sneak out to go to a hotel.
They’ll have sex, more than once, and it’ll the best sex either of them has had in years. The next morning, they won’t leave their room until early afternoon and will spend the whole time kissing each other and loving each other and talking lightly of who’ve they seen recently and how everyone is. Wil will bring up the subject of starting a relationship again, he’s really missed Uhai over the years, but will sound embarrassed and unsure, like he doesn’t know if he’s over stepping the line with what happened the night before.
Uhai will want to, he really will, but responsibilities will get in the way. He has a job, he has friends, and he won’t just be able to leave those all behind. They’ll talk it over for a while before finally settling on a long-distance relationship, though Wil will be slightly reluctant because of what happened last time. Uhai will assure him that it’ll work, and he’ll be right, though neither will find out till much later.
20. Ten months of a writing letters to each other, some of which Uhai made rather… graphic, much to Wil’s chagrin (he’d never admit to secretly enjoying Uhai still thinking about him like that), fifteen weeks of getting ready and saying good-bye and taking care of obligations, and five days until Uhai is finally moved in with Wil.
They’ll be happy together, but rather poor (hair dressing and photography aren’t especially successful career paths) and they’ll make just enough to get by and then a little extra, but it won’t matter either way to them. They’ll have fun in their jobs, in their lives, and if worst comes to worst they can always get a little help from their scientist-turned-model friend Legault and his bodyguard of a boyfriend, Heath (though Uhai will always say it’s a complete waste of an associate’s degree in biology).
---
Anti-climatic ending much? Um... concrit = love. Feel free to tear this apart.