A long, long road ahead.....

[metal_face_john]

Well I haven't updated this journal in a long while. There's reasons for this; Myspace, Video Games, and straight chillin'. Nothing has had enough meaning in my life to make me want to write about it for everyoen to read. I find it hard and unappealing to write down everything that goes on in my life. I fear what may come if I say the wrong thing about the wrong person, I'm scared that my comments may cause unease between friends. I really wish that things could be better with all aspects of my life, I wish I could be a better friend to the people I consider my true friends, I wish I could make the people that I encounter feel comfortable in my presence. I think that I ned to jsut stop caring so much about how I project myself, I try to be as real as I can be, but things don't always come out that way. it would be very smart of me to just say everything I had to say about every single person I know, but the only good that would come out of that would be people knowing the truth, some things would proabbly cause friendships to end, and that's rather scary. I think I should jsut stop using the computer for a week, and spend more time with people. A phone call I recived last night made me realize that I should think about things before I open my mouth and start talking. I have to start focusing on school instead of what I'm gonan do after school, that might make things easier on me with the parentals, I also need to find a significant other that would be willing to just chill and relax all day, instead of always having to go do something, but I'm starting to fear long term relationships, especially after all the drama thats been going on with some people lately. I should jsut stop over-thinking things, that would definitly make things easier on me. And thank god we're on break from school right now, or else I'd probably go crazy having to wake up at 5:30 to just to attend a 7 hour buzz kill.

That's all I gotta say right now, I'll proabbly update this entry later. Oh and everyoen needs to listen to "sugar hill" by AZ.