Deep down and deep inside you're always in my heart- Miles Away by Yellowcard.
I'm not allowed to be a hopeless romantic, it's not in my job description. I'm supposed to be the one that doesn't crumble. Doesn't cry. And definetly does not lust over someone. What is wrong with me? Why, all of a sudden, and I like this. Falling apart all over the place. I haven't felt this level of want in so very long.
The sad part is, it will never work. Ever, we've tried so many times, and never, besides the first time, have we really worked. I miss those days, before everything was ruined. Before my life wasn't destroyed. No, I'm not talking about my suicidal phase.
I wish things could be normal between us. I wish things were easy and we could have a conversation. I wish I didn't get shy, whenever I'm around him. To be honest, it's not even him I'm afraid of, it's the awkward silence. The awkward silence that happens when I'm near his friends, I don't fit in with his friends. I wish I was like Chenara, who can just walk up to them and start hugging them and is perfectly content. I always get nervous. For some reason, there is something between me and his friends, and I have NEVER been able to figure out what it was.
I'm not supposed to be this pathetic, and I'm not supposed to obbess like this. I'm not supposed to feel this way.
The worst part? I can't even tell him.
The sad part is, it will never work. Ever, we've tried so many times, and never, besides the first time, have we really worked. I miss those days, before everything was ruined. Before my life wasn't destroyed. No, I'm not talking about my suicidal phase.
I wish things could be normal between us. I wish things were easy and we could have a conversation. I wish I didn't get shy, whenever I'm around him. To be honest, it's not even him I'm afraid of, it's the awkward silence. The awkward silence that happens when I'm near his friends, I don't fit in with his friends. I wish I was like Chenara, who can just walk up to them and start hugging them and is perfectly content. I always get nervous. For some reason, there is something between me and his friends, and I have NEVER been able to figure out what it was.
I'm not supposed to be this pathetic, and I'm not supposed to obbess like this. I'm not supposed to feel this way.
The worst part? I can't even tell him.