i suck at updating
Today, at Mekong Garden, I had a nice, but slightly melancholy lunch with my mom. At the end of meal, my fortune read "Stop looking. Happiness is right next to you" while my mother's read "Now is the time to try something new". Realizing our error, we exchanged fortunes.
I have just been out of sorts. I go through these evaluating periods a lot more than I think the average Joe on the street might, but who knows? I'm just not feeling the rhythm of life. I look around me and feel undeniably unaccomplished next to everyone else. I feel like everyone is doing something spectacular and worth while, and me? I'm starting my day with coach Maxwell and ending with Ms. Phillips. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but what am I really getting done? Credits? I'm getting credits all wrapped up so that I can graduate and finally go to college, but at the same time, I end up sacrificing my enjoyment. I am not enjoying myself much right now.
in some aspects
Because I can't just neglect that amazing part that wraps around and weaves through every part of me. I'm so happy. Elated. I am elated. To me, that word means I beam with joy, and I do. I'm a girl in love, and when I get down I reflect on this and just feel this fullness. It's a very physical fullness similar to that of a perfect meal.
but nothing is perfect
And I just want to be something else in addition to what I am now. I'm not unhappy with who I am. I'm great. I really believe that. I just don't want to be typecasted so early in my life. I want to think that I'm capable of lots of things, but then I just don't know. It's like when I go shopping. I hate shopping. Whenever I walk into a store, I see so many clothes that I know I would love to have, and it's almost like it threatens me. The mass amounts of clothes overwhelm me and I end up in the foodcourt within minutes. Every now and then, I'll pick a single shirt, but that's rare. Usually my mom just buys me some clothes and I wear them. Is that how I'm going to be with my life? It seems it already is.
I have just been out of sorts. I go through these evaluating periods a lot more than I think the average Joe on the street might, but who knows? I'm just not feeling the rhythm of life. I look around me and feel undeniably unaccomplished next to everyone else. I feel like everyone is doing something spectacular and worth while, and me? I'm starting my day with coach Maxwell and ending with Ms. Phillips. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but what am I really getting done? Credits? I'm getting credits all wrapped up so that I can graduate and finally go to college, but at the same time, I end up sacrificing my enjoyment. I am not enjoying myself much right now.
in some aspects
Because I can't just neglect that amazing part that wraps around and weaves through every part of me. I'm so happy. Elated. I am elated. To me, that word means I beam with joy, and I do. I'm a girl in love, and when I get down I reflect on this and just feel this fullness. It's a very physical fullness similar to that of a perfect meal.
but nothing is perfect
And I just want to be something else in addition to what I am now. I'm not unhappy with who I am. I'm great. I really believe that. I just don't want to be typecasted so early in my life. I want to think that I'm capable of lots of things, but then I just don't know. It's like when I go shopping. I hate shopping. Whenever I walk into a store, I see so many clothes that I know I would love to have, and it's almost like it threatens me. The mass amounts of clothes overwhelm me and I end up in the foodcourt within minutes. Every now and then, I'll pick a single shirt, but that's rare. Usually my mom just buys me some clothes and I wear them. Is that how I'm going to be with my life? It seems it already is.