Hippie idealism
The last post I started writing a few days ago, but got interrupted mid-thought.
I was hanging out with my friend Katarina last week, who's due to have her second child in just two weeks. Yikes! She looks great and was walking around and pulling her daughter in the wagon like it was nothing... Pregnancy is so bizarre, to have this little creature growing inside you, and then all of a sudden it's outside of you and it's own little entity. Strange. Anyway, she's always good to talk to, even though occasionally I feel like it's more of a therapy session for me, I really honestly hate talking my relationship to death. I tried steering the conversation towards other things - and we did cover lots of topics - but we talked a lot about Mike and myself. She's good to ask really smart, introspective questions, and to have a non-biased outside view on it all. She asked how my life would be different if he and I were to break up, and how it would be different if we were to get engaged. She asked what works and what doesn't, what I think I'm missing and what's really important. And at one point she made the comment, "You're choosing him every day," which resonated strongly with me. I AM choosing him every day, and it's time for me to start choosing to be happy, or to choose differently.
When I got home that afternoon Mike was sitting on the couch and he excitedly says, "Did you see what's beside your book on the table?!?" The night before while I was at work I texted him and asked that my book be left in the kitchen so I could read when I got home, because he's always asleep by the time I finish work, and I'd wake him up if I turned on the bedside lamp so I could read in bed. I off-handedly mentioned that I should get a small book light so that I could read in bed after work without disturbing him. The very next day he went out and bought me a tiny little light that attaches directly to a book for easy (and discreet) reading!!!! I happily bounced onto his lap and wondered how I could ever doubt being with someone as wonderful as him.
Thursday night Carl and Shackles flew into town. We went for dinner with them, Kels, Jade and Chanell. Maclean bought everyone's meal, which was very generous of him. We hung out at Jade and Scotty's for a bit, and all busted a gut watching the "I got bronchitis!" YouTube clip, and the remix of it. Hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udS-OcNtSWo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro-eKHOgV6A
Friday morning I went to work while the boys were in charge of organizing a river floating trip. It took some doing, but our spectacular little group managed to get in the water sometime just after 4pm. Shackles, Carl, Kels, Jade, Scotty, Berg, Maclean and myself, fun!! Shackles, Carl, Berg and I had been dropped off at the river around 3, and we may or may not have drunk and entire bottle of vodka lemonade while we waited.... ha ha. I got a little rowdy and was so busy throwing myself between rafts, off the raft, into the river and back onto the rocks, that I didn't notice I was injuring myself in the process!! I woke up the next morning with my thumb swollen and purple, a gigantic bruise all down my right shin, a chunk missing from my left heel, and various other bruises and scrapes. Oh dear. It was a ton of fun though! The weather held up, the rafts stayed inflated, we all had a good time. I had a little nap afterwards before we reconvened at Los Chilitos for Mexican food. I took myself home to bed just after midnight, but I didn't sleep very well as the boys didn't return until 2:30am, and then they stayed up talking until 4am!
Saturday work was slow but less painful than I'd anticipated. The boys left that morning so our place was quiet again, and all we did that night was watch movies, even though Maclean was super extra frisky and had grand plans to try all sorts of new things - I apologized, but if he wants me energetic and creative he's got to let me get some sleep the night before!
I told Maclean that I booked off the weekend of August 18 and that I'd like to go camping. He suggested the cool little place we've been to in the Crowsnest Pass that we have to 4x4 in to. I agreed and we both said we'd ask other friends to see if anyone else wanted to join. Jacob and Tara immediately said yes, and then Jacob put together a Facebook group for the camping trip and invited 47 of his friends!!! I was extremely unimpressed with this turn of events, but when I voiced my opinion Maclean got angry and disgusted and threw out the old, "You don't know how to have any fun!" Ugh. Is it wrong that I'm annoyed because MY camping weekend has been usurped by someone else?? I think Ashlea and Brian are going to join though, and that makes me feel better about it. I can hang out with Ash while everyone else does whatever else they want to do.
Last night we watched "Wanderlust" - Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, two New Yorkers who end up staying at this hippie commune. It was a comedy and the portrayal of the commune, as well as life in the outside world, was totally over the top, but there's still something extremely appealing about the whole idea and image of dirty, free-loving hippie life. I know I could never abandon the internet and makeup and bacon, but a very insistent part of me would lovelovelove to give it a go. Just for a little while, maybe a year? Spend my days living off the land and surrounded by like-minded, positive, open people. Yeah yeah, pipe dream, I know.
But it got me wondering what I could do in my life now to embrace more of that free-spirited ideal. Maybe I need to find a drum circle to join. Or start playing with my poi again. Or just make new friends (somewhere, somehow) who are of the same mindset. Mike IS open-minded about a lot of things, but a lot of the comments he made during the movie made me feel a little annoyed and disgusted. I don't actually want to be with a full-fledged hippie who doesn't contribute to society, who thinks the government is evil and anything corporate is out to get us, who refuses to eat meat but also refuses to commit, and does a lot of preaching about both. That's far too extreme, and annoying in it's own right. But someone who is a little more open to the (admittedly romanticized) ideas of cleaner, earthier living.
*sigh*
Even Julia and Paul Child, in the book I just read, were somewhat romantic and nomadic in their existence. They had this love affair with France that lasted their entire lives. They were willing to move, to try new things, to experience life, but also do what they needed to be happy. He worked for the government!! And yet they still came across as somewhat bohemian and just very down-to-earth.
I love city living, I love technology, I love my home and my things, and yet there's something so damned appealing about bare feet, fresh vegetables, and sharing circles.
On another note, Mike talked to the landlord and convinced him to let us get a cat. That would be exciting, except his stipulation was that we pay $100. Per month. Forever. Not a pet deposit or whatever, he's raising the rent permanently. I got upset and told Mike it wasn't worth it ($1200 a year for a cat?!), then Mike got upset that I wasn't willing to pay for something I really wanted. It got kind of messy and Mike got really mad at me, saying he wished I'd just left it alone because now it's a "lose-lose" situation. In the end, we're going to end up with higher rent anyway. The boys who lived here previously were paying $2000/month, but the landlord dropped it to $1300 for Mike and I, because he likes Mike. That's a big drop. We've been here for two years and I guess he's wanted to raise it for awhile. Mike's thought is that we agree to $1400/month which satisfies the landlord's desire for a rent increase, and also gives us the option to get a cat if we want to. So maybe it's a win-win situation in the end? I'm being really picky about a cat, I have my heart set on a patchwork calico of black, white and orange, and they're not that easy to find. I guess we'll see what happens.
I was hanging out with my friend Katarina last week, who's due to have her second child in just two weeks. Yikes! She looks great and was walking around and pulling her daughter in the wagon like it was nothing... Pregnancy is so bizarre, to have this little creature growing inside you, and then all of a sudden it's outside of you and it's own little entity. Strange. Anyway, she's always good to talk to, even though occasionally I feel like it's more of a therapy session for me, I really honestly hate talking my relationship to death. I tried steering the conversation towards other things - and we did cover lots of topics - but we talked a lot about Mike and myself. She's good to ask really smart, introspective questions, and to have a non-biased outside view on it all. She asked how my life would be different if he and I were to break up, and how it would be different if we were to get engaged. She asked what works and what doesn't, what I think I'm missing and what's really important. And at one point she made the comment, "You're choosing him every day," which resonated strongly with me. I AM choosing him every day, and it's time for me to start choosing to be happy, or to choose differently.
When I got home that afternoon Mike was sitting on the couch and he excitedly says, "Did you see what's beside your book on the table?!?" The night before while I was at work I texted him and asked that my book be left in the kitchen so I could read when I got home, because he's always asleep by the time I finish work, and I'd wake him up if I turned on the bedside lamp so I could read in bed. I off-handedly mentioned that I should get a small book light so that I could read in bed after work without disturbing him. The very next day he went out and bought me a tiny little light that attaches directly to a book for easy (and discreet) reading!!!! I happily bounced onto his lap and wondered how I could ever doubt being with someone as wonderful as him.
Thursday night Carl and Shackles flew into town. We went for dinner with them, Kels, Jade and Chanell. Maclean bought everyone's meal, which was very generous of him. We hung out at Jade and Scotty's for a bit, and all busted a gut watching the "I got bronchitis!" YouTube clip, and the remix of it. Hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udS-OcNtSWo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro-eKHOgV6A
Friday morning I went to work while the boys were in charge of organizing a river floating trip. It took some doing, but our spectacular little group managed to get in the water sometime just after 4pm. Shackles, Carl, Kels, Jade, Scotty, Berg, Maclean and myself, fun!! Shackles, Carl, Berg and I had been dropped off at the river around 3, and we may or may not have drunk and entire bottle of vodka lemonade while we waited.... ha ha. I got a little rowdy and was so busy throwing myself between rafts, off the raft, into the river and back onto the rocks, that I didn't notice I was injuring myself in the process!! I woke up the next morning with my thumb swollen and purple, a gigantic bruise all down my right shin, a chunk missing from my left heel, and various other bruises and scrapes. Oh dear. It was a ton of fun though! The weather held up, the rafts stayed inflated, we all had a good time. I had a little nap afterwards before we reconvened at Los Chilitos for Mexican food. I took myself home to bed just after midnight, but I didn't sleep very well as the boys didn't return until 2:30am, and then they stayed up talking until 4am!
Saturday work was slow but less painful than I'd anticipated. The boys left that morning so our place was quiet again, and all we did that night was watch movies, even though Maclean was super extra frisky and had grand plans to try all sorts of new things - I apologized, but if he wants me energetic and creative he's got to let me get some sleep the night before!
I told Maclean that I booked off the weekend of August 18 and that I'd like to go camping. He suggested the cool little place we've been to in the Crowsnest Pass that we have to 4x4 in to. I agreed and we both said we'd ask other friends to see if anyone else wanted to join. Jacob and Tara immediately said yes, and then Jacob put together a Facebook group for the camping trip and invited 47 of his friends!!! I was extremely unimpressed with this turn of events, but when I voiced my opinion Maclean got angry and disgusted and threw out the old, "You don't know how to have any fun!" Ugh. Is it wrong that I'm annoyed because MY camping weekend has been usurped by someone else?? I think Ashlea and Brian are going to join though, and that makes me feel better about it. I can hang out with Ash while everyone else does whatever else they want to do.
Last night we watched "Wanderlust" - Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, two New Yorkers who end up staying at this hippie commune. It was a comedy and the portrayal of the commune, as well as life in the outside world, was totally over the top, but there's still something extremely appealing about the whole idea and image of dirty, free-loving hippie life. I know I could never abandon the internet and makeup and bacon, but a very insistent part of me would lovelovelove to give it a go. Just for a little while, maybe a year? Spend my days living off the land and surrounded by like-minded, positive, open people. Yeah yeah, pipe dream, I know.
But it got me wondering what I could do in my life now to embrace more of that free-spirited ideal. Maybe I need to find a drum circle to join. Or start playing with my poi again. Or just make new friends (somewhere, somehow) who are of the same mindset. Mike IS open-minded about a lot of things, but a lot of the comments he made during the movie made me feel a little annoyed and disgusted. I don't actually want to be with a full-fledged hippie who doesn't contribute to society, who thinks the government is evil and anything corporate is out to get us, who refuses to eat meat but also refuses to commit, and does a lot of preaching about both. That's far too extreme, and annoying in it's own right. But someone who is a little more open to the (admittedly romanticized) ideas of cleaner, earthier living.
*sigh*
Even Julia and Paul Child, in the book I just read, were somewhat romantic and nomadic in their existence. They had this love affair with France that lasted their entire lives. They were willing to move, to try new things, to experience life, but also do what they needed to be happy. He worked for the government!! And yet they still came across as somewhat bohemian and just very down-to-earth.
I love city living, I love technology, I love my home and my things, and yet there's something so damned appealing about bare feet, fresh vegetables, and sharing circles.
On another note, Mike talked to the landlord and convinced him to let us get a cat. That would be exciting, except his stipulation was that we pay $100. Per month. Forever. Not a pet deposit or whatever, he's raising the rent permanently. I got upset and told Mike it wasn't worth it ($1200 a year for a cat?!), then Mike got upset that I wasn't willing to pay for something I really wanted. It got kind of messy and Mike got really mad at me, saying he wished I'd just left it alone because now it's a "lose-lose" situation. In the end, we're going to end up with higher rent anyway. The boys who lived here previously were paying $2000/month, but the landlord dropped it to $1300 for Mike and I, because he likes Mike. That's a big drop. We've been here for two years and I guess he's wanted to raise it for awhile. Mike's thought is that we agree to $1400/month which satisfies the landlord's desire for a rent increase, and also gives us the option to get a cat if we want to. So maybe it's a win-win situation in the end? I'm being really picky about a cat, I have my heart set on a patchwork calico of black, white and orange, and they're not that easy to find. I guess we'll see what happens.