(no subject)
Maclean and I had decreed tonight "Talk Night," and we actually did. Talk, that is. We discussed better communication, and a few minor irritants related to communication. Somewhat more importantly we talked about the fact that he's pretty much checked out of this relationship and is just waiting for it to end. He didn't deny it.
He has concerns. We both do. There are still issues hanging over us - obviously. "You said something during the summer, about me being with someone who's like me, who gets me, and ever since then I've wondered if maybe you're right." We both are feeling the desire to be understood, and heard, more like ourselves and less repressed/frustrated. "I want you to be happy. I truly want you to be happy. I don't want to be the reason you're miserable."
So we've decided it's time to work on things. That it's time to be honest, and time to be open. We're going to have a standing weekly talk date. Next week we're both bringing written lists of the things we want and need in a relationship, keeping in mind what's negotiable and what isn't. We've agreed not to get angry when things on the lists don't match up. We've agreed to TALK. Shocker.
We've also agreed that we have to set a deadline because we both want to move forward and if US isn't going to work then we need to be able to let go and move on. So we're working on it until the end of May....
I think we both know what's going to happen at the end of May, but you never know. Maybe 6 months of concentrated trying to be closer will work wonders. Regardless, at least we're both on the same page for the foreseeable future. And we also agreed that if things need to end we'll do it maturely and respectfully, because we want to remain friendly.
I guess we'll see what the winter brings.
He has concerns. We both do. There are still issues hanging over us - obviously. "You said something during the summer, about me being with someone who's like me, who gets me, and ever since then I've wondered if maybe you're right." We both are feeling the desire to be understood, and heard, more like ourselves and less repressed/frustrated. "I want you to be happy. I truly want you to be happy. I don't want to be the reason you're miserable."
So we've decided it's time to work on things. That it's time to be honest, and time to be open. We're going to have a standing weekly talk date. Next week we're both bringing written lists of the things we want and need in a relationship, keeping in mind what's negotiable and what isn't. We've agreed not to get angry when things on the lists don't match up. We've agreed to TALK. Shocker.
We've also agreed that we have to set a deadline because we both want to move forward and if US isn't going to work then we need to be able to let go and move on. So we're working on it until the end of May....
I think we both know what's going to happen at the end of May, but you never know. Maybe 6 months of concentrated trying to be closer will work wonders. Regardless, at least we're both on the same page for the foreseeable future. And we also agreed that if things need to end we'll do it maturely and respectfully, because we want to remain friendly.
I guess we'll see what the winter brings.