Beachy bum
I'm getting pretty damn tanned. Sweet. I really need to find some topless beaches though, half tanned boobs look ridiculous. I've gotten brave enough to bust out my extra tiny bottoms though. *grin*
We're still lounging around being lazy lazy lazy human beings on the beaches of Thailand.
Spent NYE in Patong, Phuket which was surprisingly awesome. The four of us (Jade, Jeanice, Maclean and I) got a little drunk and wandered the absolutely crazy streets. There was live music on the beach which we danced to. We met some people, Jade kissed a few of them, we wrangled free drinks and did nothing but enjoy ourselves until early into the morning. So fun!!!!! Probably the best New Years Eve I've ever experienced. Our little foursome was good, but I was mostly stoked beyond belief to be there with Jade. Love that girl!
The next day we laid on the beautiful beach and recuperated, although I was strangely (and thankfully) not hung over.
Headed to Koh Phi Phi for a few days, which was interesting. A tiny tiny little strip of habitable land between two giant rocks. It was PACKED and super touristy and our accommodations were less than ideal. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I'd heard good things, but since we're just not in the party party mode these days it wasn't really our scene. The ocean there is a stunning aquamarine colour and crystal clear. Amazing. We kayaked over to this little beach one afternoon that had the finest, whitest sand I've ever seen, almost talcum powder. Incredible.
Mike's arrival. Lukewarm. He came walking into the arrivals area of the airport, and I didn't really feel anything. I'd known him for a couple of years before we started dating and I'd never once thought he was attractive. Then I bumped into him again and was surprised to realize he had a pretty face and decided he'd be a nice diversion for a bit while I was killing time before my Aussie and I sorted things out. It turned out to be a very long diversion, which has led to this point. And once again I've realized that I don't find Mike particularly attractive. He's not AT ALL my usual type, which would be fine, except, well, I guess it's not. *sigh*
Anyway, that night was strange. When I was with Nick it felt somewhat unfamiliar and I was aching to have it back, but after a two and a half month separation that familiarity with Mike was lacking. It took a day to get back into a sort of routine and for things to feel normal and familiar again. And it only took about that long before I started getting incredibly annoyed at every little thing he does. He's loud and ridiculous and can't go a day without a drink and just ANNOYING. I tried to rein in my frustration, realizing I was being fully unfair, but just as soon as I thought I had a grip on it he'd do something else that would set me off.
Not cool. Mostly on my part. Mike is Mike, I don't know how I expected things to be any different.
Our last night in Koh Phi Phi Mike decided we should have some drinks and let loose a little. Which we did. We indulged in a few buckets of booze (literally), watched the beautiful half naked boys fire dance, listened to a live cover band and had a lot of fun, until he and I started fighting. I don't know who started it or why, but it was epic and ended up with us agreeing (in very loud voices) that it was never going to work, and he walked away. I slept in Jade's bed that night, and heard him stumble in absolutely wasted at around 4:30 in the morning.
I wasn't even that angry after the blow out. In fact I was really calm and didn't really care. It felt almost good to just have it out of the way, and over.
Except it wasn't over because we're in Thailand together.
The next day we all traveled to another island, Koh Lanta, and Mike was quiet and subdued the entire time. We'd booked a shared room for the four of us which happily left no opportunity for he and I to talk. Our second day we ended up alone on the beach for a half hour or so and he almost strong armed me into talking to him. I'd been being nice and affectionate enough, but cool. We talked through a bunch of stuff, but I'm still not at all convinced that this is a good idea.
I WANT it to be a good idea. I want to be with him. I want to be happy with him. I want us to progress with our lives and our dreams and have things be mostly awesome. I really, truly, honestly thought things were going to be good and smooth and fun. I'm not totally delusional and I didn't expect that he would be a new person, but I thought our relationship would start on new feet and that there would be a new feel. But there wasn't.
Once again the dilemma is raging in my poor brain. After quite some time with no contact from Nick he sent me a massive message, and while it didn't tell me much that was new it once again reminded me just why I love him and why I've thought he would be such a great partner for me.
For now we (the four of us) are continuing with our travels and I'm trying to chill out and enjoy Mike and our time together, actually give him and us a chance. One last chance.
I really don't need this..
We're still lounging around being lazy lazy lazy human beings on the beaches of Thailand.
Spent NYE in Patong, Phuket which was surprisingly awesome. The four of us (Jade, Jeanice, Maclean and I) got a little drunk and wandered the absolutely crazy streets. There was live music on the beach which we danced to. We met some people, Jade kissed a few of them, we wrangled free drinks and did nothing but enjoy ourselves until early into the morning. So fun!!!!! Probably the best New Years Eve I've ever experienced. Our little foursome was good, but I was mostly stoked beyond belief to be there with Jade. Love that girl!
The next day we laid on the beautiful beach and recuperated, although I was strangely (and thankfully) not hung over.
Headed to Koh Phi Phi for a few days, which was interesting. A tiny tiny little strip of habitable land between two giant rocks. It was PACKED and super touristy and our accommodations were less than ideal. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I'd heard good things, but since we're just not in the party party mode these days it wasn't really our scene. The ocean there is a stunning aquamarine colour and crystal clear. Amazing. We kayaked over to this little beach one afternoon that had the finest, whitest sand I've ever seen, almost talcum powder. Incredible.
Mike's arrival. Lukewarm. He came walking into the arrivals area of the airport, and I didn't really feel anything. I'd known him for a couple of years before we started dating and I'd never once thought he was attractive. Then I bumped into him again and was surprised to realize he had a pretty face and decided he'd be a nice diversion for a bit while I was killing time before my Aussie and I sorted things out. It turned out to be a very long diversion, which has led to this point. And once again I've realized that I don't find Mike particularly attractive. He's not AT ALL my usual type, which would be fine, except, well, I guess it's not. *sigh*
Anyway, that night was strange. When I was with Nick it felt somewhat unfamiliar and I was aching to have it back, but after a two and a half month separation that familiarity with Mike was lacking. It took a day to get back into a sort of routine and for things to feel normal and familiar again. And it only took about that long before I started getting incredibly annoyed at every little thing he does. He's loud and ridiculous and can't go a day without a drink and just ANNOYING. I tried to rein in my frustration, realizing I was being fully unfair, but just as soon as I thought I had a grip on it he'd do something else that would set me off.
Not cool. Mostly on my part. Mike is Mike, I don't know how I expected things to be any different.
Our last night in Koh Phi Phi Mike decided we should have some drinks and let loose a little. Which we did. We indulged in a few buckets of booze (literally), watched the beautiful half naked boys fire dance, listened to a live cover band and had a lot of fun, until he and I started fighting. I don't know who started it or why, but it was epic and ended up with us agreeing (in very loud voices) that it was never going to work, and he walked away. I slept in Jade's bed that night, and heard him stumble in absolutely wasted at around 4:30 in the morning.
I wasn't even that angry after the blow out. In fact I was really calm and didn't really care. It felt almost good to just have it out of the way, and over.
Except it wasn't over because we're in Thailand together.
The next day we all traveled to another island, Koh Lanta, and Mike was quiet and subdued the entire time. We'd booked a shared room for the four of us which happily left no opportunity for he and I to talk. Our second day we ended up alone on the beach for a half hour or so and he almost strong armed me into talking to him. I'd been being nice and affectionate enough, but cool. We talked through a bunch of stuff, but I'm still not at all convinced that this is a good idea.
I WANT it to be a good idea. I want to be with him. I want to be happy with him. I want us to progress with our lives and our dreams and have things be mostly awesome. I really, truly, honestly thought things were going to be good and smooth and fun. I'm not totally delusional and I didn't expect that he would be a new person, but I thought our relationship would start on new feet and that there would be a new feel. But there wasn't.
Once again the dilemma is raging in my poor brain. After quite some time with no contact from Nick he sent me a massive message, and while it didn't tell me much that was new it once again reminded me just why I love him and why I've thought he would be such a great partner for me.
For now we (the four of us) are continuing with our travels and I'm trying to chill out and enjoy Mike and our time together, actually give him and us a chance. One last chance.
I really don't need this..