Goodbye to Livejournal
Hey all. Greg here.
It's been one week since the beginning of 2006, but more importantly it's been one week since the end of 2005, a year that was too long, too hard, and too easy to regret.
2005 was a year I will always remember because it was the year in which every part of my life fell to peices. I underwent a complete and total transformation. I went from being content, to being angry, to being miserable, to being depressed, to being suicidal, then angry again, and finally bitter. At the end of the stretch was waiting a series of romantic disapointments and betrayals. I was, for a year, lied to, used, ignored, rejected, torn away from someone who still means a lot to me, and thrown away from others.
2005 was the year my parents split up. What began as something I could handle, and maybe even learn to appreciate, became the cruel focus of my entire life. I went to bed for a year in confusion and sadness. Are they together? apart? Is this all my fault somehow? Where will they be buried if not alongside one another, as I had always just known to be how it would be? Parents need to remember that, although this may be your fight, and your disagreement, it is your children who suffer when you send us to bed in tears, listening to our parents scream until exhaustion finally takes us. In 2005 I never slept more than four hours at a time.
2005 was a year when I did almost everything I told myself I'd never do. I had casual sex with a girl who I knew was trouble, I started smoking for awhile, I drank albiet at family events, I fought with people, I became angry and spiteful, I even started hurting myself. Everything I have ever condemned and criticized, I became. On the other side, I walk away from this year with a new humility, knowing that one will never know where he'll be in a few years. Or tomorrow.
This journal chronicles a year that I don't want to forget... but I want to let go of it. I will not place my new life, my new friends, my new ways, alongside the misery and anger of yesteryear. I move on in the face certain sadness and disappointment, but we have to move on. We have to keep fighting, and we have to hope that one day all our patience and kindness will be returned somehow.
I leave you all one last posting, one last message:
Peace and Love, because at the end of your life, when the final peace overtakes you and the perfect love awaits you at the end of the tunnel, you will look back and you will know that these feelings, these ideals, are the quintessance of life itself.
Goodbye, livejournal. It hasn't been fun, but thanks for being here anyway.
See you all soon.
It's been one week since the beginning of 2006, but more importantly it's been one week since the end of 2005, a year that was too long, too hard, and too easy to regret.
2005 was a year I will always remember because it was the year in which every part of my life fell to peices. I underwent a complete and total transformation. I went from being content, to being angry, to being miserable, to being depressed, to being suicidal, then angry again, and finally bitter. At the end of the stretch was waiting a series of romantic disapointments and betrayals. I was, for a year, lied to, used, ignored, rejected, torn away from someone who still means a lot to me, and thrown away from others.
2005 was the year my parents split up. What began as something I could handle, and maybe even learn to appreciate, became the cruel focus of my entire life. I went to bed for a year in confusion and sadness. Are they together? apart? Is this all my fault somehow? Where will they be buried if not alongside one another, as I had always just known to be how it would be? Parents need to remember that, although this may be your fight, and your disagreement, it is your children who suffer when you send us to bed in tears, listening to our parents scream until exhaustion finally takes us. In 2005 I never slept more than four hours at a time.
2005 was a year when I did almost everything I told myself I'd never do. I had casual sex with a girl who I knew was trouble, I started smoking for awhile, I drank albiet at family events, I fought with people, I became angry and spiteful, I even started hurting myself. Everything I have ever condemned and criticized, I became. On the other side, I walk away from this year with a new humility, knowing that one will never know where he'll be in a few years. Or tomorrow.
This journal chronicles a year that I don't want to forget... but I want to let go of it. I will not place my new life, my new friends, my new ways, alongside the misery and anger of yesteryear. I move on in the face certain sadness and disappointment, but we have to move on. We have to keep fighting, and we have to hope that one day all our patience and kindness will be returned somehow.
I leave you all one last posting, one last message:
Peace and Love, because at the end of your life, when the final peace overtakes you and the perfect love awaits you at the end of the tunnel, you will look back and you will know that these feelings, these ideals, are the quintessance of life itself.
Goodbye, livejournal. It hasn't been fun, but thanks for being here anyway.
See you all soon.