*sighs*
well, i had to reformat my computer, i lost all of my pics.....not of me, but of my friends....*pouts* a few songs....thats about it really.... matt wants me back *big suprise* but this time i actualyl talked to him .....i miss him...but it will never happen..... too much scars.... all we can ever be is friends
heres a letter he wrote me
My deariest darling,
I am writing you to tell you how i feel. I love you. You were the one person
who was there for me ,cared for me and loved me! im sorry i hurt you,but i was scared to love you.
i was scared to get hurt. I was involved in a relation ship were i was treated badly and from there on out i was scared to let myself love another person. Untill i realize that the one person that really loved me! I treated you badly and gave you hell and tore your world apart I cant even explain
how sorry i am! There is one thing i need from you I need for you to give me that last one chance to say I love you. i want you in my life as much as possible! i want that feeling of love again! Ill never forget the times we spent together in s/f you held me and gave me your love . i want it back so bad! but im scared that its too late! I need for you to know that i love you and that I will never hurt you again.I beleave you are the one for me.If you feel that we can never be one again thats ok. it was my fault! but please be a friend to me thats all i ask of you. Steel please say you love me and that your love for me will never die nor fade! and as my love for you will never die nor fade either. i know that this letter dosent make much sence, but i didnt think it threw as i am thinking it i am typing it!
Baby how have you really been? i know you didnt tell me exactly how you were feeling i want you to tell me how you were feeling and how you fell! I still love you ! do you remeber when i said i love you for the first time? i meant it but i was scared you really didnt love me! im sorry im talking out of my ass but i just dont know what to do when i heard your voice on the other line i wanted to break down and cry . but i knew i had to be stong ! well im going to give your eyes a break and let your mind wonder!!!!!!!
and a conversation we just had
pinkpanther0577 : what i sthe most memorable time we had together?
messed_up_dreamer: hmm
messed_up_dreamer: *thinks*
messed_up_dreamer: well there is two that i remeber equally, the time at the dock, wiht the beaver swimming, the first night i went meet you, ....then the time in the shower with the black light ...when we were...ya know...
pinkpanther0577 : how could i forget...... i had fun at the dock and in teh shower
pinkpanther0577 : sorry im typing in the dark
messed_up_dreamer: dude, i swear, me and u had the best sexual chemistry....liek no one made me..."happier" then u did
pinkpanther0577 : really
messed_up_dreamer: dude, every time i ever shot with u, its was like a freaking firehose
pinkpanther0577 : i didnt know that
pinkpanther0577 : stop
messed_up_dreamer: ?
pinkpanther0577 : just a word go on
messed_up_dreamer:
pinkpanther0577 : so im guessing i was doing it write
pinkpanther0577 : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
messed_up_dreamer: its not a matter of that,....its just thats how much i was into u.,,...when im into some one, it make my orgasms so much more explosive
messed_up_dreamer: but like i said i loved u, ...not i had had ever any one else
pinkpanther0577 : do you still love me?
messed_up_dreamer: i dont know
pinkpanther0577 : i was just wondering
messed_up_dreamer: well i was hoping some kind of feeling would come back if i saw u tonite
pinkpanther0577 : i have to go to abbeville in the morning
pinkpanther0577 : i know i just dont feel good and i dont want to get you sick
messed_up_dreamer: its fine
pinkpanther0577 : im just looking out for you
pinkpanther0577 : and i cant beleive you said i was drunk
pinkpanther0577 : thats messed up j/j
messed_up_dreamer: i didnt say u were drunk, i asked
pinkpanther0577 : yeah thats what i meant
pinkpanther0577 : just didnt come out wright
pinkpanther0577 : i really miss you!!
pinkpanther0577 : ohh
pinkpanther0577 : man my lips are so chapped
messed_up_dreamer: sucking too much dick
messed_up_dreamer: j/j
pinkpanther0577 : ha ha ha
pinkpanther0577 : you are not funy
pinkpanther0577 : ant you
pinkpanther0577 : and you
messed_up_dreamer: and me?
pinkpanther0577 : you really havent been with any one since me
pinkpanther0577 : i havent either but i was told you had a boy friend
messed_up_dreamer: i was talking to a guy from vp, but his mom found out, and forbaid him to see m
messed_up_dreamer: ee
pinkpanther0577 : oh i see
messed_up_dreamer: its like i jsut cant win
pinkpanther0577 : you dont think i know how royaly i fucked up
BUZZ!!!
Receiving the "Fishtank" IMVironment from pinkpanther0577...
pinkpanther0577 has selected the "Fishtank" IMVironment.
pinkpanther0577 : whats with the buzz
messed_up_dreamer: well, it doesnt matter what i think (my sounds are off btw) its a matter of i probably wont ever be able to get over that fact, ...so anything that could have been between us, can no longer ne
messed_up_dreamer: be*
pinkpanther0577 : ohh ok
pinkpanther0577 :
messed_up_dreamer:
pinkpanther0577 : ok well im guessing you want me to let you go
pinkpanther0577 :
messed_up_dreamer: i want u to let me go?
messed_up_dreamer: or u want to go?
pinkpanther0577 : both
pinkpanther0577 : i dont know
pinkpanther0577 : im stunned
messed_up_dreamer: well pick one, and go on ill ttyl
messed_up_dreamer: from what?
pinkpanther0577 : what you said
messed_up_dreamer: matt, i told u a long time ago, but i gave u chance after chance..... i cant give u any more
messed_up_dreamer: im sorry
messed_up_dreamer: if i bend for this, it just leaves space for u to walk all over me again
pinkpanther0577 : i know i shoulnt just expect a chance but i am willing to do what ever i have to to get you back
messed_up_dreamer: well matt, its highly unlikely, but itll never hurt u to try...
pinkpanther0577 : i can reason with that
messed_up_dreamer: well, then i guess time will tell
pinkpanther0577 : yea
pinkpanther0577 : yeah
pinkpanther0577 : brb going to the bath room
pinkpanther0577 : ok back
messed_up_dreamer: k
pinkpanther0577 : so do you at least miss me
messed_up_dreamer: that i do
messed_up_dreamer: cuz on ur good days u were the sweetest most loving person..
messed_up_dreamer: i miss the way ui held me
pinkpanther0577 : do you really
pinkpanther0577 : i miss you in general
messed_up_dreamer: thats good to know
pinkpanther0577 : are you being serious because from my side it sounds like a smart ass coment but then its just a question
messed_up_dreamer: wtf, of course im being serious mat
messed_up_dreamer: matt*
pinkpanther0577 : ok
messed_up_dreamer: u over analyze things way too much
messed_up_dreamer: chill
pinkpanther0577 : i was just asking
pinkpanther0577 : ok
pinkpanther0577 : i know i need to
pinkpanther0577 : sexually frustrated
pinkpanther0577 : i think
messed_up_dreamer: masturbate
pinkpanther0577 : no thats gross
messed_up_dreamer: lol how is that gross?
pinkpanther0577 :
pinkpanther0577 : it just is
messed_up_dreamer: nah
messed_up_dreamer: i do it sometimes
messed_up_dreamer: helps me sleep when im restless
kyle needs to hurry up and call me, itll make my day sooo much better *sighs*
heres a letter he wrote me
My deariest darling,
I am writing you to tell you how i feel. I love you. You were the one person
who was there for me ,cared for me and loved me! im sorry i hurt you,but i was scared to love you.
i was scared to get hurt. I was involved in a relation ship were i was treated badly and from there on out i was scared to let myself love another person. Untill i realize that the one person that really loved me! I treated you badly and gave you hell and tore your world apart I cant even explain
how sorry i am! There is one thing i need from you I need for you to give me that last one chance to say I love you. i want you in my life as much as possible! i want that feeling of love again! Ill never forget the times we spent together in s/f you held me and gave me your love . i want it back so bad! but im scared that its too late! I need for you to know that i love you and that I will never hurt you again.I beleave you are the one for me.If you feel that we can never be one again thats ok. it was my fault! but please be a friend to me thats all i ask of you. Steel please say you love me and that your love for me will never die nor fade! and as my love for you will never die nor fade either. i know that this letter dosent make much sence, but i didnt think it threw as i am thinking it i am typing it!
Baby how have you really been? i know you didnt tell me exactly how you were feeling i want you to tell me how you were feeling and how you fell! I still love you ! do you remeber when i said i love you for the first time? i meant it but i was scared you really didnt love me! im sorry im talking out of my ass but i just dont know what to do when i heard your voice on the other line i wanted to break down and cry . but i knew i had to be stong ! well im going to give your eyes a break and let your mind wonder!!!!!!!
and a conversation we just had
pinkpanther0577 : what i sthe most memorable time we had together?
messed_up_dreamer: hmm
messed_up_dreamer: *thinks*
messed_up_dreamer: well there is two that i remeber equally, the time at the dock, wiht the beaver swimming, the first night i went meet you, ....then the time in the shower with the black light ...when we were...ya know...
pinkpanther0577 : how could i forget...... i had fun at the dock and in teh shower
pinkpanther0577 : sorry im typing in the dark
messed_up_dreamer: dude, i swear, me and u had the best sexual chemistry....liek no one made me..."happier" then u did
pinkpanther0577 : really
messed_up_dreamer: dude, every time i ever shot with u, its was like a freaking firehose
pinkpanther0577 : i didnt know that
pinkpanther0577 : stop
messed_up_dreamer: ?
pinkpanther0577 : just a word go on
messed_up_dreamer:
pinkpanther0577 : so im guessing i was doing it write
pinkpanther0577 : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
messed_up_dreamer: its not a matter of that,....its just thats how much i was into u.,,...when im into some one, it make my orgasms so much more explosive
messed_up_dreamer: but like i said i loved u, ...not i had had ever any one else
pinkpanther0577 : do you still love me?
messed_up_dreamer: i dont know
pinkpanther0577 : i was just wondering
messed_up_dreamer: well i was hoping some kind of feeling would come back if i saw u tonite
pinkpanther0577 : i have to go to abbeville in the morning
pinkpanther0577 : i know i just dont feel good and i dont want to get you sick
messed_up_dreamer: its fine
pinkpanther0577 : im just looking out for you
pinkpanther0577 : and i cant beleive you said i was drunk
pinkpanther0577 : thats messed up j/j
messed_up_dreamer: i didnt say u were drunk, i asked
pinkpanther0577 : yeah thats what i meant
pinkpanther0577 : just didnt come out wright
pinkpanther0577 : i really miss you!!
pinkpanther0577 : ohh
pinkpanther0577 : man my lips are so chapped
messed_up_dreamer: sucking too much dick
messed_up_dreamer: j/j
pinkpanther0577 : ha ha ha
pinkpanther0577 : you are not funy
pinkpanther0577 : ant you
pinkpanther0577 : and you
messed_up_dreamer: and me?
pinkpanther0577 : you really havent been with any one since me
pinkpanther0577 : i havent either but i was told you had a boy friend
messed_up_dreamer: i was talking to a guy from vp, but his mom found out, and forbaid him to see m
messed_up_dreamer: ee
pinkpanther0577 : oh i see
messed_up_dreamer: its like i jsut cant win
pinkpanther0577 : you dont think i know how royaly i fucked up
BUZZ!!!
Receiving the "Fishtank" IMVironment from pinkpanther0577...
pinkpanther0577 has selected the "Fishtank" IMVironment.
pinkpanther0577 : whats with the buzz
messed_up_dreamer: well, it doesnt matter what i think (my sounds are off btw) its a matter of i probably wont ever be able to get over that fact, ...so anything that could have been between us, can no longer ne
messed_up_dreamer: be*
pinkpanther0577 : ohh ok
pinkpanther0577 :
messed_up_dreamer:
pinkpanther0577 : ok well im guessing you want me to let you go
pinkpanther0577 :
messed_up_dreamer: i want u to let me go?
messed_up_dreamer: or u want to go?
pinkpanther0577 : both
pinkpanther0577 : i dont know
pinkpanther0577 : im stunned
messed_up_dreamer: well pick one, and go on ill ttyl
messed_up_dreamer: from what?
pinkpanther0577 : what you said
messed_up_dreamer: matt, i told u a long time ago, but i gave u chance after chance..... i cant give u any more
messed_up_dreamer: im sorry
messed_up_dreamer: if i bend for this, it just leaves space for u to walk all over me again
pinkpanther0577 : i know i shoulnt just expect a chance but i am willing to do what ever i have to to get you back
messed_up_dreamer: well matt, its highly unlikely, but itll never hurt u to try...
pinkpanther0577 : i can reason with that
messed_up_dreamer: well, then i guess time will tell
pinkpanther0577 : yea
pinkpanther0577 : yeah
pinkpanther0577 : brb going to the bath room
pinkpanther0577 : ok back
messed_up_dreamer: k
pinkpanther0577 : so do you at least miss me
messed_up_dreamer: that i do
messed_up_dreamer: cuz on ur good days u were the sweetest most loving person..
messed_up_dreamer: i miss the way ui held me
pinkpanther0577 : do you really
pinkpanther0577 : i miss you in general
messed_up_dreamer: thats good to know
pinkpanther0577 : are you being serious because from my side it sounds like a smart ass coment but then its just a question
messed_up_dreamer: wtf, of course im being serious mat
messed_up_dreamer: matt*
pinkpanther0577 : ok
messed_up_dreamer: u over analyze things way too much
messed_up_dreamer: chill
pinkpanther0577 : i was just asking
pinkpanther0577 : ok
pinkpanther0577 : i know i need to
pinkpanther0577 : sexually frustrated
pinkpanther0577 : i think
messed_up_dreamer: masturbate
pinkpanther0577 : no thats gross
messed_up_dreamer: lol how is that gross?
pinkpanther0577 :
pinkpanther0577 : it just is
messed_up_dreamer: nah
messed_up_dreamer: i do it sometimes
messed_up_dreamer: helps me sleep when im restless
kyle needs to hurry up and call me, itll make my day sooo much better *sighs*