thoughts?
i am SO annoyed with my aunt. not from what i am about to post below, but i have been for the past 10 years she has been married to my uncle, really. i finally stood up to her, because she treats everyone else in the family like she's better than us, and that she's far more Christian (which is the stupidest thing ever for anyone to believe) and i am beyond sick of it. this is what she posted on her facebook (lol @ facebook arguments) and our many replies to each other. i just want some thoughts, what do you think? don't take my side if you legit do not agree with me, i just want some other opinions on the topic.
My aunt: Hmmmmm...Ozzy Osburne, Marilyn Manson, Van Halen....listening material for 7 year olds? This coming from a parent (NOT ME!) who won't allow Jonas Brothers (you know I went to the concert, Dude! LOL)!! Hmmmm.....what do you think Moms? ;-)???
my first comment: i would let my kid listen to van halen over jonas brothers any day, because i know good music. but since you're probably referring to my dad as the above parent, i guess like father, like daughter. :)
a comment from one of my aunt's friends: Ozzy and Marilyn...never. However Van Halen, yes. We listen to Nickelback, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga with the kids. They know a lot of the words and we don't listen to the ones with bad words. We pick and choose what we want on the ipod. Their favorite is Kris Allen (American Idol) and Keith Urban though.
my aunt's comments back to me: Erica - For the record, the question was posed to “Moms;” I think I could guess what the opinion of a single, 24-year-old, college student would think...and yes, your dad is “a parent” whose son plays closely with my children and he told my children that he didn’t like their Jonas Brother’s music, but wanted them to listen to his Ozzy Osburne music instead...thus, I wanted to do a “mommy gut check” and to get other Mom’s opinions on the issue to determine if I was being arbitrarily closed minded on the issue of not allowing my children to listen to music that I believe is not “age appropriate.” The question was posed as to the “age appropriateness of the music;” It was not a judgment whether the music was “good or bad.” In fact, I didn’t say that I personally did not like or did not listen to the music, but that I felt it “developmentally, age inappropriate.”
There are many things I like and do, but from the standpoint of striving to be a responsible parent, I will not allow my children to participate until they are developmentally ready....for example, I like to Facebook, but feel it’s totally inappropriate for MY 7 year olds to have a FB page; I love having a cell phone and couldn’t do without it, but believe it’s not appropriate for MY 7 year olds to have their own; I also watch television (DVR) between 9 p.m. and 12 a.m. because the shows and movies I like to watch, are definitely NOT appropriate for MY 7 year olds....thus, movies, games, shows, music have been assessed “ratings” to “help” parents make responsible parenting decisions, if they so choose. I did not choose for my children to listen to or like the Jonas Brothers, or Hannah Montana or any music of their genre (of which I am not a fan of all of it), but I accept, that for the most part, it is appropriate music for their age-range - (and I’m ecstatic they love to listen to music) and will support and encourage their listening to it.
I am acutely aware of today’s new parenting methods of “anything goes” and the scarier, gorier, more shocking, horrifying and disturbing it is the better. Unfortunately, I do not prescribe to these parenting methods, I am more hands on and feel responsible to protect MY children from such parenting methods, and I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE for wanting to raise my children with Christian and moral values and that I try to develop within them kind, loving, generous, caring and self-less attitudes/characteristics (that I realize many scoff at and claim are too old-fashioned and weak). When my children are developmentally ready to make their own decisions, then I can only hope and pray that I will have help cultivate in them the skills they need to be able to make their own decisions which will lead them to become successful and responsible adults who make positive differences in their worlds - and which I pray are based on their Christian values, but they may not. I can only do my best with them NOW while they are “developing” (key word, there) because I have been bestowed with the RESPONSIBILITY from God for raising the 3 children He gifted to me as He sees fit. I believe it is my responsibility to provide for my children the solid Christian foundation they need, based on developmental and age appropriate decisions. Thus, again, the question was posed to other “mommy’s” as a “gut check” on the issue of “age appropriateness.”
Finally, from the perspective of being “open minded” on all issues, I think that “good music” like all things relative and subjective, is in the “ear” of the beholder, and I would not put anyone else down based on their music preferences (which is completely different than allowing my 7 year old children to listen to it)...
So, again for the record, the question posed was NOT whether the music is “good or bad music,” but whether based on my responsibility as a parent, is it “age appropriate” for MY 7 year olds. I apologize if you took offense to the question. It wasn’t directed at you (or even your dad) - but at my responsibility for making parenting decisions for MY children, a responsibility I take very seriously - (since as you stated “like father like daughter”.....how we raise them, does affect them!
my comments back to her: first of all, i would like to state that i am definitely not as young and naive as you made me sound in your many above replies. i'm well aware that i am not a mother, and i thank God for it everyday, but i am an incredibly responsible adult that is going into graduate school, and plays mother to a seven year old every single summer, as well as the fact that i have been a cell (Bible) study leader to six junior high aged girls for the past year and a half, and all of the youth in our 7,000 member youth group as well. i'm not some college student who goes out to bars, drinks, listens to trashy music and just cannot relate to what you said at all. that's the complete opposite, actually. i feel compelled to defend my father here, and that does not happen too often, but my dad is joking 99.9% of the time when he makes statements such as those. he honestly does not care what kind of music your children listen to, or any other children for that matter, because he does not judge people as parents. he lets people parent as they see fit, because he wants people to let him parent how he wants to as well. which in my opinion, is only fair. one of the responses that you got from a fellow mom above was that they let their children listen to katy perry, nickelback and lady gaga. now, i am not sure if you have actually listened to the lyrics from van halen and ozzy osbourne before, but quite honestly, they're just as age appropriate for children, if not moreso, than katy perry and so forth. katy perry's three big hits/singles are "i kissed a girl," "ur so gay," and "waking up in vegas" which is a song about getting drunk in vegas and waking up the next morning married to someone she didn't even know the night before. these are just three of her songs off of her album, from an artist that was formerly a Christian artist but decided to denounce Christianity and start singing about kissing a girl. i do not even let my cell group of 13 and 14 year olds listen to her. i won't even go into nickelback and how the F word flies from their mouth every other word. i'm not saying you let your children listen to any of these artists, but one of your mom friends does, so you might want to check what is being played around your children there as well. just saying.
i completely understand your not wanting them to be exposed to artists such as marilyn manson, because i wouldn't want anyone listening to him, and i understand you wanting to keep things age appropriate for them but do you really research these things? you mentioned hannah montana above, and do you realize that miley cyrus, whom is hannah montana, strives to be britney spears and says that britney is her "hero?" and have you listened to some of her lyrics? some of them talk about being sexual, and being with boys and so forth. i don't think that's very age appropriate either, but it's masked behind the fact that disney produces it, so everything thinks that she must be safe. and on the flipside, everyone thinks of ozzy as this bat-biting-blood-sucking monster, that he and his music really is not. you may not like it, and you may not want your children to listen to it, but my thing is, look into it a bit more before automatically deeming it as devil music.
i never said anything about the way you raise your children, or that you needed to apologize for anything. however, if we are going to talk about Christian morals, i think actions speak louder than words. Christians do not curse. Christians do not judge other people, or other parents. Christians walk and talk like Jesus, and quite frankly, i don't think Jesus would not be listening to ANY of the aforementioned artists, so.
i understand the question and how it was posed, but music is one of my passions, more than you will ever know or understand. so for me, if the music is good or bad, is very important. i don't let my girls listen to horrible music with pointless lyrics because music is an art form that has the ability to do so many things in our souls, and there is SO much junk on the radio nowadays that is just ridiculous and should not be listened to by anyone whether they are 7 or 27.
as you said in your last statement, "how we raise them, does affect them" i was raised on all kinds of music. elvis, KISS, janet jackson, mariah carey, boyz II men, old school rap and r&b...most of which were/are sexual in lyrics and KISS is the biggest rock 'n roll band out there, but i actually turned out pretty okay. i've never done drugs in my life, i have an alcoholic beverage maybe once every three months, am not sexually active in any way, and am a self-proclaimed Jesus freak. and honestly, i wasn't ever sheltered from much (most of that because my mother was a single mother working two jobs for two children), i was just taught right from wrong, and to be responsible. that's all.
My aunt: Hmmmmm...Ozzy Osburne, Marilyn Manson, Van Halen....listening material for 7 year olds? This coming from a parent (NOT ME!) who won't allow Jonas Brothers (you know I went to the concert, Dude! LOL)!! Hmmmm.....what do you think Moms? ;-)???
my first comment: i would let my kid listen to van halen over jonas brothers any day, because i know good music. but since you're probably referring to my dad as the above parent, i guess like father, like daughter. :)
a comment from one of my aunt's friends: Ozzy and Marilyn...never. However Van Halen, yes. We listen to Nickelback, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga with the kids. They know a lot of the words and we don't listen to the ones with bad words. We pick and choose what we want on the ipod. Their favorite is Kris Allen (American Idol) and Keith Urban though.
my aunt's comments back to me: Erica - For the record, the question was posed to “Moms;” I think I could guess what the opinion of a single, 24-year-old, college student would think...and yes, your dad is “a parent” whose son plays closely with my children and he told my children that he didn’t like their Jonas Brother’s music, but wanted them to listen to his Ozzy Osburne music instead...thus, I wanted to do a “mommy gut check” and to get other Mom’s opinions on the issue to determine if I was being arbitrarily closed minded on the issue of not allowing my children to listen to music that I believe is not “age appropriate.” The question was posed as to the “age appropriateness of the music;” It was not a judgment whether the music was “good or bad.” In fact, I didn’t say that I personally did not like or did not listen to the music, but that I felt it “developmentally, age inappropriate.”
There are many things I like and do, but from the standpoint of striving to be a responsible parent, I will not allow my children to participate until they are developmentally ready....for example, I like to Facebook, but feel it’s totally inappropriate for MY 7 year olds to have a FB page; I love having a cell phone and couldn’t do without it, but believe it’s not appropriate for MY 7 year olds to have their own; I also watch television (DVR) between 9 p.m. and 12 a.m. because the shows and movies I like to watch, are definitely NOT appropriate for MY 7 year olds....thus, movies, games, shows, music have been assessed “ratings” to “help” parents make responsible parenting decisions, if they so choose. I did not choose for my children to listen to or like the Jonas Brothers, or Hannah Montana or any music of their genre (of which I am not a fan of all of it), but I accept, that for the most part, it is appropriate music for their age-range - (and I’m ecstatic they love to listen to music) and will support and encourage their listening to it.
I am acutely aware of today’s new parenting methods of “anything goes” and the scarier, gorier, more shocking, horrifying and disturbing it is the better. Unfortunately, I do not prescribe to these parenting methods, I am more hands on and feel responsible to protect MY children from such parenting methods, and I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE for wanting to raise my children with Christian and moral values and that I try to develop within them kind, loving, generous, caring and self-less attitudes/characteristics (that I realize many scoff at and claim are too old-fashioned and weak). When my children are developmentally ready to make their own decisions, then I can only hope and pray that I will have help cultivate in them the skills they need to be able to make their own decisions which will lead them to become successful and responsible adults who make positive differences in their worlds - and which I pray are based on their Christian values, but they may not. I can only do my best with them NOW while they are “developing” (key word, there) because I have been bestowed with the RESPONSIBILITY from God for raising the 3 children He gifted to me as He sees fit. I believe it is my responsibility to provide for my children the solid Christian foundation they need, based on developmental and age appropriate decisions. Thus, again, the question was posed to other “mommy’s” as a “gut check” on the issue of “age appropriateness.”
Finally, from the perspective of being “open minded” on all issues, I think that “good music” like all things relative and subjective, is in the “ear” of the beholder, and I would not put anyone else down based on their music preferences (which is completely different than allowing my 7 year old children to listen to it)...
So, again for the record, the question posed was NOT whether the music is “good or bad music,” but whether based on my responsibility as a parent, is it “age appropriate” for MY 7 year olds. I apologize if you took offense to the question. It wasn’t directed at you (or even your dad) - but at my responsibility for making parenting decisions for MY children, a responsibility I take very seriously - (since as you stated “like father like daughter”.....how we raise them, does affect them!
my comments back to her: first of all, i would like to state that i am definitely not as young and naive as you made me sound in your many above replies. i'm well aware that i am not a mother, and i thank God for it everyday, but i am an incredibly responsible adult that is going into graduate school, and plays mother to a seven year old every single summer, as well as the fact that i have been a cell (Bible) study leader to six junior high aged girls for the past year and a half, and all of the youth in our 7,000 member youth group as well. i'm not some college student who goes out to bars, drinks, listens to trashy music and just cannot relate to what you said at all. that's the complete opposite, actually. i feel compelled to defend my father here, and that does not happen too often, but my dad is joking 99.9% of the time when he makes statements such as those. he honestly does not care what kind of music your children listen to, or any other children for that matter, because he does not judge people as parents. he lets people parent as they see fit, because he wants people to let him parent how he wants to as well. which in my opinion, is only fair. one of the responses that you got from a fellow mom above was that they let their children listen to katy perry, nickelback and lady gaga. now, i am not sure if you have actually listened to the lyrics from van halen and ozzy osbourne before, but quite honestly, they're just as age appropriate for children, if not moreso, than katy perry and so forth. katy perry's three big hits/singles are "i kissed a girl," "ur so gay," and "waking up in vegas" which is a song about getting drunk in vegas and waking up the next morning married to someone she didn't even know the night before. these are just three of her songs off of her album, from an artist that was formerly a Christian artist but decided to denounce Christianity and start singing about kissing a girl. i do not even let my cell group of 13 and 14 year olds listen to her. i won't even go into nickelback and how the F word flies from their mouth every other word. i'm not saying you let your children listen to any of these artists, but one of your mom friends does, so you might want to check what is being played around your children there as well. just saying.
i completely understand your not wanting them to be exposed to artists such as marilyn manson, because i wouldn't want anyone listening to him, and i understand you wanting to keep things age appropriate for them but do you really research these things? you mentioned hannah montana above, and do you realize that miley cyrus, whom is hannah montana, strives to be britney spears and says that britney is her "hero?" and have you listened to some of her lyrics? some of them talk about being sexual, and being with boys and so forth. i don't think that's very age appropriate either, but it's masked behind the fact that disney produces it, so everything thinks that she must be safe. and on the flipside, everyone thinks of ozzy as this bat-biting-blood-sucking monster, that he and his music really is not. you may not like it, and you may not want your children to listen to it, but my thing is, look into it a bit more before automatically deeming it as devil music.
i never said anything about the way you raise your children, or that you needed to apologize for anything. however, if we are going to talk about Christian morals, i think actions speak louder than words. Christians do not curse. Christians do not judge other people, or other parents. Christians walk and talk like Jesus, and quite frankly, i don't think Jesus would not be listening to ANY of the aforementioned artists, so.
i understand the question and how it was posed, but music is one of my passions, more than you will ever know or understand. so for me, if the music is good or bad, is very important. i don't let my girls listen to horrible music with pointless lyrics because music is an art form that has the ability to do so many things in our souls, and there is SO much junk on the radio nowadays that is just ridiculous and should not be listened to by anyone whether they are 7 or 27.
as you said in your last statement, "how we raise them, does affect them" i was raised on all kinds of music. elvis, KISS, janet jackson, mariah carey, boyz II men, old school rap and r&b...most of which were/are sexual in lyrics and KISS is the biggest rock 'n roll band out there, but i actually turned out pretty okay. i've never done drugs in my life, i have an alcoholic beverage maybe once every three months, am not sexually active in any way, and am a self-proclaimed Jesus freak. and honestly, i wasn't ever sheltered from much (most of that because my mother was a single mother working two jobs for two children), i was just taught right from wrong, and to be responsible. that's all.