Quantum Leap
For the first time in a LONG, long stretch--by "LONG, long stretch" I quite possibly mean "this century"--I experienced an "emotive quantum leap" last week...owing to the results of an effectuation overlayed upon a sea-change with such degree of tide-shift I'm still sorting out exactly where it's left me. I can't think of a time such ever happened to me without chemicals involved, either...which gives me a more intrinsic sense that what I'm dealing with is "real" and not just "show". (Which has its value, but isn't capable of bringing on CERTAIN sorts of flux of process.)
This Leap seems to be the sort usually unable to happen unless it be based on a definitive positive interaction with another individual. In other words, usually you have to at least be feeling the sort of high a new crush gives you for this kind of emotive quantum-leaping to occur; to be disabused of that notion has value in and of itself.
I've had "Quantum Leaps" before but those have all been of Air...not Water: they were always a matter of my learning, in one fell swoop, how to do something, or exactly how a process or set of processes worked, after having been vexed by trying to "figure it out" for a long time.
An Emotive Quantum Leap was obviously something I was in sore, sore need of, but it wasn't until I finally didn't feel starved for such a thing that it actually managed to happen, culminating in the effectuation itself which is so bizarrely exact in process-outline being followed by actualisation of process that I'm even having a bit of a dizzy time thinking about it or remembering it.
It took me a whole week just to realise I that wasn't just experiencing some flash-in-the-pan, artificially-achieved sense of well-being that would dissipate and leave me where I started...and that I wasn't just imagining the exactly-planned, specific-as-hell ORDER OF OPERATIONS first programmed, then executed--after undergoing a strict regimen and following a specific path towards a particular event and its own causative domino-chains...leading up to achievement of the underlying objective.
Something had to actualise in the Externum and then kick off another process in the Internum. It happened, in the correct order, at what was a mind-bogglingly exact time.
I've got a new project that I've started working on. I'm viewing it as merely an activator to the overall system, without aiming at it with my entire store of resources or letting all my energy focus only on it.
Ironically, that's making it happen almost by itself.
I am told that in some sense external to myself, it's time for "my number to be up", for some things, and at the same time, for it to not be my turn to have other things be happening. Cycles are always ending and others beginning, big deal...right...?
The fluxuation of Internum cycling is constant but Externum-based cycles are fewer and farther between. I have every reason to believe this to be an Externum-based one that just "turned over".
Ironically, though, it changes a lot of Internum processes, shutting some off completely and starting new ones instead of merely "changing the program" yet again.
Perhaps this makes no sense.
(If so, it's a clue why this sort of thing's probably going to be made a "visible to self only" aspect of this journal from now on. The only reason I didn't private this is because it's positive and makes a good departure point from this sort of exposition...)
This Leap seems to be the sort usually unable to happen unless it be based on a definitive positive interaction with another individual. In other words, usually you have to at least be feeling the sort of high a new crush gives you for this kind of emotive quantum-leaping to occur; to be disabused of that notion has value in and of itself.
I've had "Quantum Leaps" before but those have all been of Air...not Water: they were always a matter of my learning, in one fell swoop, how to do something, or exactly how a process or set of processes worked, after having been vexed by trying to "figure it out" for a long time.
An Emotive Quantum Leap was obviously something I was in sore, sore need of, but it wasn't until I finally didn't feel starved for such a thing that it actually managed to happen, culminating in the effectuation itself which is so bizarrely exact in process-outline being followed by actualisation of process that I'm even having a bit of a dizzy time thinking about it or remembering it.
It took me a whole week just to realise I that wasn't just experiencing some flash-in-the-pan, artificially-achieved sense of well-being that would dissipate and leave me where I started...and that I wasn't just imagining the exactly-planned, specific-as-hell ORDER OF OPERATIONS first programmed, then executed--after undergoing a strict regimen and following a specific path towards a particular event and its own causative domino-chains...leading up to achievement of the underlying objective.
Something had to actualise in the Externum and then kick off another process in the Internum. It happened, in the correct order, at what was a mind-bogglingly exact time.
I've got a new project that I've started working on. I'm viewing it as merely an activator to the overall system, without aiming at it with my entire store of resources or letting all my energy focus only on it.
Ironically, that's making it happen almost by itself.
I am told that in some sense external to myself, it's time for "my number to be up", for some things, and at the same time, for it to not be my turn to have other things be happening. Cycles are always ending and others beginning, big deal...right...?
The fluxuation of Internum cycling is constant but Externum-based cycles are fewer and farther between. I have every reason to believe this to be an Externum-based one that just "turned over".
Ironically, though, it changes a lot of Internum processes, shutting some off completely and starting new ones instead of merely "changing the program" yet again.
Perhaps this makes no sense.
(If so, it's a clue why this sort of thing's probably going to be made a "visible to self only" aspect of this journal from now on. The only reason I didn't private this is because it's positive and makes a good departure point from this sort of exposition...)