urgh
first of all my dorm hall had a mandatory meeting that was supposed to be about awareness of stereotypes...but they didn't tell us that before hand and the activity was mostly just racist and reminded me strongly of "Diversity Day" from the office...only annoying instead of funny. it was ridiculous. plus attendance wasn't taken and a bunch of people skipped and I wish that I had. urgh!
and lately I've been kind of listless and dissatisfied. In the past I've always managed to find something to be happy about and not focus on one bad thing. But now, for some reason, I've lost that. and I'm not happy right now. I've had some great times with my friends in the last couple of days, don't get me wrong, but still...when the time comes for me to be alone in my dorm, i'm just not motivated to study and I end up sitting around thinking about things that I can't control and that only make me doubt myself. grrr. I really want to break out of this rut. It's only been two days that I've felt this way, but that's two days too long.
and all of this self-reflection and uncertainty is totally messing with my head. I feel boring and uninteresting and shy...and I've never really felt that way before. It's very surreal.
barnabee loves you.
ps. this semester is going to be a lot of work and if I don't snap out of this mood i'm not going to be able to study like I should...yet another source of discontent :(
and lately I've been kind of listless and dissatisfied. In the past I've always managed to find something to be happy about and not focus on one bad thing. But now, for some reason, I've lost that. and I'm not happy right now. I've had some great times with my friends in the last couple of days, don't get me wrong, but still...when the time comes for me to be alone in my dorm, i'm just not motivated to study and I end up sitting around thinking about things that I can't control and that only make me doubt myself. grrr. I really want to break out of this rut. It's only been two days that I've felt this way, but that's two days too long.
and all of this self-reflection and uncertainty is totally messing with my head. I feel boring and uninteresting and shy...and I've never really felt that way before. It's very surreal.
barnabee loves you.
ps. this semester is going to be a lot of work and if I don't snap out of this mood i'm not going to be able to study like I should...yet another source of discontent :(