A rant I NEED you to listen to please
Right, I've had enough. I have come to the final conclusion that social situations and myself DO NOT go together. I have also decided that, as we all have a book inside of us, I have mine. It's a little autobiographical, but it's about a girl who starts to go insane as she becomes paranoid that she does not belong anywhere and that people try to avoid her and just plain do not like her. I've had this story in me for a long while now and the next step is to expand it. I have gotten to the point where I start crying at the thought that the only times I have something written in my calender apart from work is when I have to go to another city/country/continent, and doing that makes me excited.
It depresses me that people will talk to me regarding work if they HAVE to, but other than that, I am invisible. And I DO make a goddamn huge effort -well, for someone who is a sociophobe.
I want a Harry Potter style invisibility cloak or polyjuice potion. Something which will guarantee me unbiased, clear cut information on where I have fucked up as a person. I would be fine asking people what the problem is, and I have, but knowing the reply would be flimsy and they would think I'm nuts and paranoid (both of which are at least little true) doesn't fill me with enough confidence to do so. If I knew I the answers would be worth it, I would have asked everyone I have ever known by now.
So, PLEASE, offer some insight for me so that I can start acting the right way. I'm doing something massively wrong and I desperately want/need to know what it is. Plus, it could be used as research for my book, which, if published, would get certain acknowledgments -if you actually wanted to be associated with it of course...
Thanks
It depresses me that people will talk to me regarding work if they HAVE to, but other than that, I am invisible. And I DO make a goddamn huge effort -well, for someone who is a sociophobe.
I want a Harry Potter style invisibility cloak or polyjuice potion. Something which will guarantee me unbiased, clear cut information on where I have fucked up as a person. I would be fine asking people what the problem is, and I have, but knowing the reply would be flimsy and they would think I'm nuts and paranoid (both of which are at least little true) doesn't fill me with enough confidence to do so. If I knew I the answers would be worth it, I would have asked everyone I have ever known by now.
So, PLEASE, offer some insight for me so that I can start acting the right way. I'm doing something massively wrong and I desperately want/need to know what it is. Plus, it could be used as research for my book, which, if published, would get certain acknowledgments -if you actually wanted to be associated with it of course...
Thanks