(no subject)
I have never felt more that I have no friends ever in my entire life. I can't keep living in this closet and not talking to anyone. everyone I care about has either left me or lives far enough away that I can't remember what it's like to call someone and have them just come over in the middle of the night if that's when you need them. and no one calls me for that anymore either. This is the worst month of my life and I have never felt more alone. and I don't even know what happened. It's just, sometimes you can lose everything and it feels like you've only blinked. I can't even remember what it feels like to have someone hold me or just look at me like they love me. And it makes sense. I must be so depressing to be around. only two people have even been into my room since school started and they barely stayed a minute. I just don't know what I did to myself. and everyone on facebook is drinking beer in europe. It's such a horrible time in your life when you realize that it doesn't feel good to cry anymore. It doesn't follow with some sense of lightness or relief, like you just needed a good cry. It's a horrible line to cross when you're just crying because you have no idea what else to do. this is not how I pictured things