:(
In my life, before there was writing, before there was Takarazuka, before there was cosplay, before there was Sailor Moon… there was Michael Jackson. I became a Michael Jackson fan in the late 90’s, long after it was considered “cool” to be into him and his music. In fact, everyone I knew, including my parents, found it completely ridiculous.
Undaunted, I spent every free weekend, every spare dollar I had, combing flea markets and secondhand stores and Ebay for Michael memorabilia. I owned every album he’d ever performed on - triplicate copies in vinyl, cassette AND CD - including some of his really obscure stuff, like the duet “What’s Up Wit U” with Eddie Murphy, for example. I found an autographed copy of his autobiography and paid over a hundred bucks for it even though I already owned two copies of the book. I managed to get original never-out-of-the-box MJ dolls (and all their assorted outfits) and the rare German “Black or White” singing doll that wasn’t even released in the US. I struck up a pen-pal relationship with a girl in Australia who would mail me copies of the videos that weren’t being released over here, then pay a video converter shop a ton of money to turn her tapes into VHS format so I could watch them. I attended birthday parties here in Denver on his birthday, and celebrated with a bunch of other fans I didn’t even know. I even found a child’s Halloween costume from the 80’s with the best replica of a “Beat It” jacket that I’ve ever seen, and bought it at a flea market for $15. I applied thousands of sequins, by hand, to a white glove just so I could wear it while I danced around in front of my bedroom mirror to my crackling stereo. I used a printer and some iron-on T-shirt transfers to make a quilt for my bed with about forty of my favorite Michael Jackson pictures on it (still have this in my linen closet as I type.) I even wrote poetry inspired by his life... And the list goes on.
Even now, there are boxes full of my Michael Jackson collection hanging out in storage at my parents’ house. The years went by, I moved on to other interests and passions, and until today, hadn’t thought all that much about them.
I felt a little silly when, driving home from work today and listening to Slacker & Steve doing their MJ tribute, I started tearing up. After all, it’s been ages since I was a “true” fan. But, I was SUCH a fan. And still am, even if I’ve grown up a bit. Say what you like about him, Michael Jackson was an extraordinary human being, with an enormous heart, and more talent in his pinky finger than most of us will produce in a lifetime. I’m very, very sad that his life was so full of pain - physically and emotionally. I’m saddened by the fact that he essentially gave up his childhood, his privacy, his heart, his whole life to this world and in return received so much mockery and bile. I’m saddened that it’s over for him now, and there will be no more of his music and magic. I’m sad for his kids, who are most certainly going to be the subject of all kinds of celebrity drama now.
And if ever I wished for reincarnation, I wish it for him… I wish that he will come back to this world in some new form that will allow him to conduct a perfectly ordinary life with all the ordinary happinesses that the rest of us enjoy.
I just hope he is able to rest in peace.
Undaunted, I spent every free weekend, every spare dollar I had, combing flea markets and secondhand stores and Ebay for Michael memorabilia. I owned every album he’d ever performed on - triplicate copies in vinyl, cassette AND CD - including some of his really obscure stuff, like the duet “What’s Up Wit U” with Eddie Murphy, for example. I found an autographed copy of his autobiography and paid over a hundred bucks for it even though I already owned two copies of the book. I managed to get original never-out-of-the-box MJ dolls (and all their assorted outfits) and the rare German “Black or White” singing doll that wasn’t even released in the US. I struck up a pen-pal relationship with a girl in Australia who would mail me copies of the videos that weren’t being released over here, then pay a video converter shop a ton of money to turn her tapes into VHS format so I could watch them. I attended birthday parties here in Denver on his birthday, and celebrated with a bunch of other fans I didn’t even know. I even found a child’s Halloween costume from the 80’s with the best replica of a “Beat It” jacket that I’ve ever seen, and bought it at a flea market for $15. I applied thousands of sequins, by hand, to a white glove just so I could wear it while I danced around in front of my bedroom mirror to my crackling stereo. I used a printer and some iron-on T-shirt transfers to make a quilt for my bed with about forty of my favorite Michael Jackson pictures on it (still have this in my linen closet as I type.) I even wrote poetry inspired by his life... And the list goes on.
Even now, there are boxes full of my Michael Jackson collection hanging out in storage at my parents’ house. The years went by, I moved on to other interests and passions, and until today, hadn’t thought all that much about them.
I felt a little silly when, driving home from work today and listening to Slacker & Steve doing their MJ tribute, I started tearing up. After all, it’s been ages since I was a “true” fan. But, I was SUCH a fan. And still am, even if I’ve grown up a bit. Say what you like about him, Michael Jackson was an extraordinary human being, with an enormous heart, and more talent in his pinky finger than most of us will produce in a lifetime. I’m very, very sad that his life was so full of pain - physically and emotionally. I’m saddened by the fact that he essentially gave up his childhood, his privacy, his heart, his whole life to this world and in return received so much mockery and bile. I’m saddened that it’s over for him now, and there will be no more of his music and magic. I’m sad for his kids, who are most certainly going to be the subject of all kinds of celebrity drama now.
And if ever I wished for reincarnation, I wish it for him… I wish that he will come back to this world in some new form that will allow him to conduct a perfectly ordinary life with all the ordinary happinesses that the rest of us enjoy.
I just hope he is able to rest in peace.