breaking up is hard to do...
I broke up with a long time friend yesterday. I feel very sad, but I know I was having a hard time with a few things with her, and she was that last remnant of that awful group of women, and many times her behaviour reflected that group in her character.
I wanted her to tell me I was crazy and that I was imaging things, that although that's the way I see it reality was something different.
But she didn't. No contradiction, no defense, no slapping me with her own truth right back.
I see now that I did make the right decision, but her validation by silence of the truth, makes me sad. It also tells me she was ready to end it too. I also are where I was in denial, where I had been unsincere, cowardly, and a hypocritical.
Nothing like personal drama to make you soul search. Now I am so sensitive about my other friendships, I'm afraid of losing them too.
I also know that I am just one of a long line of terminated long term friendships of this person. And she doesn't forgive. At all.
One good thing about letting go of her is the fact that I feel free to make more friends, as she sometimes became jealous of my other relationships. That's why I worked so hard for her to become friends witn my other friends, so she wouldn't be left out. I'm also free to do things with other people and not keep my off days free so she could make plans with me then break them at the last minute.
If I'm so lucky, I am a sad kind of lucky.
Bye bye little friend. I understand this better than you realize.
I wanted her to tell me I was crazy and that I was imaging things, that although that's the way I see it reality was something different.
But she didn't. No contradiction, no defense, no slapping me with her own truth right back.
I see now that I did make the right decision, but her validation by silence of the truth, makes me sad. It also tells me she was ready to end it too. I also are where I was in denial, where I had been unsincere, cowardly, and a hypocritical.
Nothing like personal drama to make you soul search. Now I am so sensitive about my other friendships, I'm afraid of losing them too.
I also know that I am just one of a long line of terminated long term friendships of this person. And she doesn't forgive. At all.
One good thing about letting go of her is the fact that I feel free to make more friends, as she sometimes became jealous of my other relationships. That's why I worked so hard for her to become friends witn my other friends, so she wouldn't be left out. I'm also free to do things with other people and not keep my off days free so she could make plans with me then break them at the last minute.
If I'm so lucky, I am a sad kind of lucky.
Bye bye little friend. I understand this better than you realize.