Burn Notice/Greek mythology fic: Unpaid Transgression
Title: Unpaid Transgression | AO3
Fandoms: Burn Notice, Greek mythology
Wordcount: 1814
Rating: Teen
Characters: Michael, Sam, Fiona, Madeline, Ares, OC
Prompts:
comment_fic: Burn Notice/Greek Mythology, Cast, Their latest client holds a deadly secret; he owes a blood debt to Ares, and after a thousand years the god of war has come to collect it...
trope_bingo: power dynamics
Notes: Yeah, this is crack. Gen crack, set in season 3 of Burn Notice.
Summary: The job where Michael, Sam and Fiona protect a client from Ares.
A spy's life is never stable. Unless you have a team of people you know in and out, you can never be sure of what to expect from anyone you meet.
Fi, Sam and I met Alexander, our client, at Carlito's. Sam had his usual beers and Fi was drinking tonic water. Meanwhile, I was watching Alexander fidgeting around in his chair.
"There's a guy after me," Alexander said. He had a thick Greek accent. "He's going to kill me this year. I used to be a Spartan."
"You mean, like Michigan State?" Sam interrupted. "I'm from Michigan..."
"No, an actual Spartan. I was a priest of Ares. I was supposed to sacrifice a youth years ago."
Fi gave me a wide-eyed look. I think she was telling me she thought Alexander was crazy.
"How long ago?" I asked. Alexander's story was bizarre, but one of our clients believed there were aliens on Earth. An actual Spartan priest wasn't too far off from our alien-believing client. Or so I thought.
Alexander paused. "Over 1000 years ago? I think. It's been so long. Ares needed a sacrifice for a Spartan war against Macedon. It's the area where Macedonia is now. He wanted a boy who he thought was a coward sacrificed. I let him go and sacrificed a pig instead. Ares wasn't pleased. Sparta lost against Macedon. But Ares still wasn't satisfied. He wanted me to sacrifice that youth to appease him. I refused. Then he wanted any youth to replace that youth when that youth grew into manhood in Athens. He's been keeping me alive ever since."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I went along with it anyway.
"You're staying with Fi until this Ares thing blows over."
Fi's jaw dropped.
"She's the best driver out of all of us. If Ares shows up, she'll be able to outrun him."
"You don't understand," Alexander said. "Ares is a god. You can't go up to him and expect to live. We need something else, like another god or some force of nature. I was hoping you'd all help me call one here."
"We can handle a god," I said, still not believing that the god Ares was going to enter in our lives.
But he did.
The Ares thing made Fi punch me several times in the ribs after it was over. This is the reason why.
Fi was setting out a bed for Alexander when she heard a car pull up at her apartment. Fi looked out the window. The man was getting out of a Ford Mustang with flames painted on the sides. He was wearing a black shirt with a yellow shield on it and jeans.
"I have a question," Fi asked Alexander. "Does your Ares wear what appears to be a soccer jersey these days?"
"Yeah. He wears a soccer jersey bearing his image on it. Well, an image of him as a sculpture. He's that vain."
That's how Fi and Alexander stumbled upon Ares, Greek god of war who likes wearing soccer jerseys bearing his image on it.
"How do you feel about islands?"
"I've got no problem with islands."
"I'm going to take you to one."
Fi took Alexander's hand. The two ran out the back of her apartment and slid into her car. Ares heard her speed off in her car and followed her.
In Greek mythology Ares was an easy character to outwit. That is, if you were a god or a demigod. But even if you're a mortal, you can always your knowledge of your home terrain to your advantage. That's what Fi did-she led Ares on a chase up and down the streets of Miami. Ares ended up stopping his car somewhere in the middle of Biscayne Boulevard. Of course, everyone in that part of Biscayne Boulevard, including Fi, was confused when Ares' car disappeared from the middle of the street without notice.
Fi called me from our island hideout.
"Michael, we have a problem."
"Yeah?"
"I chased Ares around Miami until he gave up."
"You're joking."
"No, I'm not joking. We're actually living among the gods. Or at least one angry Greek one."
"I don't know what to do, Fi."
"You'd better come up with something soon. And bring Sam. I'd like to live another 40 years or so and preferably without an angry god on my tail."
And then it came to me. But I needed to pick up a few things first.
Fi gave me a panicked look when we all met at our island hideout. We had an enclosed space in the hideout where we could block out most of the light if we needed to. Not only was could we hide Alexander in the space, we could lure and trap Ares in it as well.
I was carrying grocery bags with the stuff we needed to defeat Ares. Sam was carrying a smoke machine with the liquid it needed to fog up our space.
"Michael, I said 'bring Sam,' not 'go to Jo-Ann's.'"
"I've got a way to stop Ares and prevent him from killing Alexander and you."
"I'm guessing you've turned into a god."
"No, I'm not a god. But I need you to pretend to be a god."
"Wait, what?"
"Did you study Greek mythology in Ireland, Fi?"
Fi sighed. "Of course. You think we only study bombs, soccer and math over there?"
"Who was the one goddess who was able to hurt Ares enough to make him retreat in battle?"
"The goddess you're making up right now?"
"I'm serious."
"Oh, all right. I'm guessing you mean Athena."
I nodded.
"No, Michael. I'm not playing Athena in front of a god." She pointed at her eyes. "Have you not seen these before? Do they look grey to you?"
"I know. I have a way to get over that."
"At least now I know I won't be recreating a rave with Sam. There wouldn't be any alcohol left if we were having one."
Sam pointed at Fi. "Hey…"
Depending on who you talk to, summoning a god requires a complex ritual. That ritual varies from person to person. It might be saying a prayer or giving something in tribute, like wine or a sacrifice of some sort. Of course, you would want the sacrifice to legal by today's standards. Alexander told us that Athena required a human sacrifice. Even if the quickest solution was "sacrifice a human to bring a god to earth," a human sacrifice was out of the cards.
The next best thing to summoning a god is to become a god. When you don't live in a world where you're either born with superpowers or you're given the superpowers, you have to fake having these superpowers and hope they fool a god. Place a couple of dim white LED lights on a pair of goggles and they can simulate the effect of glowing grey eyes. They're also more comfortable and convenient than putting on glow in the dark contacts. And unlike uncomfortable contacts or sunglasses, the goggles will allow you to fight in hand to hand combat. If you don't have a spear and a shield, a switchblade knife taped around a piece of metal pipe and a solid hubcap taped around your arm will do. A ski mask doesn't require papier-mâché and time like a lot of cheap Greek helmet replicas. And a smoke machine can hide everything you can't hide in near darkness. After that, you can only hope that the god is too stupid to see through your ruse.
While we waited for the smoke to fill the hideout on the island, I taped the hubcap to Fi's arms. Fi didn't like the hubcap. She stomped on my right foot. I ended up soaking it in ice when this job was done.
Sam made the makeshift spear for Fi. He gave it to her when he was done.
"Remind me not to bump into you in a dark alley dressed like this."
"Don't worry, Sam. I won't."
I walked over to Alexander.
"I need you to help me lure Ares in the hideout."
"This isn't going to work, Michael."
"It's worth a try. Can you go outside for me and stand until Ares gets here?"
Alexander nodded.
Alexander was one of the few clients we ever had that listened to us instead of running away from the situation or trying to take matters into his old hands. Then again, he was so scared of his god destroying him. I don't think he had it in him to run away or rebel.
When Alexander saw Ares, he ran into our hideout and hid behind some crates. Sam and I were already hiding behind the crates. Sam pulled him down and I gagged him with my hand.
Ares walked into the hideout. He saw Fi dressed as our idea of Athena.
"Hello, dog-fly. We meet again." He bought it.
"You ready to get your ass kicked again?"
"I'll win this time. The spirit of war shall triumph."
"You can't win a war if you don't know how."
Ares charged at Fi. But Fi was able to knock Ares out with the hubcap. Then she stabbed Ares upwards in his shoulder, tearing through his beloved soccer jersey, and his upper thigh. Ares howled in pain. He was bleeding ichor, the gold blood of the Greek gods. It was shining through the hideout.
"You know what I want you to do? I want you to leave Alexander alone. I don't know why you need a sacrifice for a war held years ago. But it's over. There's always a war somewhere. Go look for another war. "
"Damn you!"
Ares hobbled to his car. Both of them disappeared in thin air.
Alexander stood up after Ares left.
"Am I really free?"
"Yes, you're free," I said.
"What's going to happen to me now?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. But you're free of Ares now, thanks to three mortals."
A couple of days later, there was an obituary in the Miami Chronicle for Alexander. He was able to die in his sleep thanks to Ares' curse being lifted. His years of suffering for saving a sacrifice were over.
There are some things a spy will never be able to explain to civilians. Missions gone wrong, deaths in the field and other strange occurrences are going to fly over the heads of most people.
After the Alexander job, I ended up taking Fi to my mom's house so I could spray WD-40 on her arm to remove the duct tape. My mom heard me spraying the WD-40 and Fi yelling various obscenities to me in her garage.
"Michael, what the hell is going on?"
She walked into the garage and froze at the sight of Fi and me.
"It's a long, crazy story, Ma."
This entry was originally posted at http://merryghoul.dreamwidth.org/257109.html. Comments on either site are fine.
Fandoms: Burn Notice, Greek mythology
Wordcount: 1814
Rating: Teen
Characters: Michael, Sam, Fiona, Madeline, Ares, OC
Prompts:
comment_fic: Burn Notice/Greek Mythology, Cast, Their latest client holds a deadly secret; he owes a blood debt to Ares, and after a thousand years the god of war has come to collect it...
trope_bingo: power dynamics
Notes: Yeah, this is crack. Gen crack, set in season 3 of Burn Notice.
Summary: The job where Michael, Sam and Fiona protect a client from Ares.
A spy's life is never stable. Unless you have a team of people you know in and out, you can never be sure of what to expect from anyone you meet.
Fi, Sam and I met Alexander, our client, at Carlito's. Sam had his usual beers and Fi was drinking tonic water. Meanwhile, I was watching Alexander fidgeting around in his chair.
"There's a guy after me," Alexander said. He had a thick Greek accent. "He's going to kill me this year. I used to be a Spartan."
"You mean, like Michigan State?" Sam interrupted. "I'm from Michigan..."
"No, an actual Spartan. I was a priest of Ares. I was supposed to sacrifice a youth years ago."
Fi gave me a wide-eyed look. I think she was telling me she thought Alexander was crazy.
"How long ago?" I asked. Alexander's story was bizarre, but one of our clients believed there were aliens on Earth. An actual Spartan priest wasn't too far off from our alien-believing client. Or so I thought.
Alexander paused. "Over 1000 years ago? I think. It's been so long. Ares needed a sacrifice for a Spartan war against Macedon. It's the area where Macedonia is now. He wanted a boy who he thought was a coward sacrificed. I let him go and sacrificed a pig instead. Ares wasn't pleased. Sparta lost against Macedon. But Ares still wasn't satisfied. He wanted me to sacrifice that youth to appease him. I refused. Then he wanted any youth to replace that youth when that youth grew into manhood in Athens. He's been keeping me alive ever since."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I went along with it anyway.
"You're staying with Fi until this Ares thing blows over."
Fi's jaw dropped.
"She's the best driver out of all of us. If Ares shows up, she'll be able to outrun him."
"You don't understand," Alexander said. "Ares is a god. You can't go up to him and expect to live. We need something else, like another god or some force of nature. I was hoping you'd all help me call one here."
"We can handle a god," I said, still not believing that the god Ares was going to enter in our lives.
But he did.
The Ares thing made Fi punch me several times in the ribs after it was over. This is the reason why.
Fi was setting out a bed for Alexander when she heard a car pull up at her apartment. Fi looked out the window. The man was getting out of a Ford Mustang with flames painted on the sides. He was wearing a black shirt with a yellow shield on it and jeans.
"I have a question," Fi asked Alexander. "Does your Ares wear what appears to be a soccer jersey these days?"
"Yeah. He wears a soccer jersey bearing his image on it. Well, an image of him as a sculpture. He's that vain."
That's how Fi and Alexander stumbled upon Ares, Greek god of war who likes wearing soccer jerseys bearing his image on it.
"How do you feel about islands?"
"I've got no problem with islands."
"I'm going to take you to one."
Fi took Alexander's hand. The two ran out the back of her apartment and slid into her car. Ares heard her speed off in her car and followed her.
In Greek mythology Ares was an easy character to outwit. That is, if you were a god or a demigod. But even if you're a mortal, you can always your knowledge of your home terrain to your advantage. That's what Fi did-she led Ares on a chase up and down the streets of Miami. Ares ended up stopping his car somewhere in the middle of Biscayne Boulevard. Of course, everyone in that part of Biscayne Boulevard, including Fi, was confused when Ares' car disappeared from the middle of the street without notice.
Fi called me from our island hideout.
"Michael, we have a problem."
"Yeah?"
"I chased Ares around Miami until he gave up."
"You're joking."
"No, I'm not joking. We're actually living among the gods. Or at least one angry Greek one."
"I don't know what to do, Fi."
"You'd better come up with something soon. And bring Sam. I'd like to live another 40 years or so and preferably without an angry god on my tail."
And then it came to me. But I needed to pick up a few things first.
Fi gave me a panicked look when we all met at our island hideout. We had an enclosed space in the hideout where we could block out most of the light if we needed to. Not only was could we hide Alexander in the space, we could lure and trap Ares in it as well.
I was carrying grocery bags with the stuff we needed to defeat Ares. Sam was carrying a smoke machine with the liquid it needed to fog up our space.
"Michael, I said 'bring Sam,' not 'go to Jo-Ann's.'"
"I've got a way to stop Ares and prevent him from killing Alexander and you."
"I'm guessing you've turned into a god."
"No, I'm not a god. But I need you to pretend to be a god."
"Wait, what?"
"Did you study Greek mythology in Ireland, Fi?"
Fi sighed. "Of course. You think we only study bombs, soccer and math over there?"
"Who was the one goddess who was able to hurt Ares enough to make him retreat in battle?"
"The goddess you're making up right now?"
"I'm serious."
"Oh, all right. I'm guessing you mean Athena."
I nodded.
"No, Michael. I'm not playing Athena in front of a god." She pointed at her eyes. "Have you not seen these before? Do they look grey to you?"
"I know. I have a way to get over that."
"At least now I know I won't be recreating a rave with Sam. There wouldn't be any alcohol left if we were having one."
Sam pointed at Fi. "Hey…"
Depending on who you talk to, summoning a god requires a complex ritual. That ritual varies from person to person. It might be saying a prayer or giving something in tribute, like wine or a sacrifice of some sort. Of course, you would want the sacrifice to legal by today's standards. Alexander told us that Athena required a human sacrifice. Even if the quickest solution was "sacrifice a human to bring a god to earth," a human sacrifice was out of the cards.
The next best thing to summoning a god is to become a god. When you don't live in a world where you're either born with superpowers or you're given the superpowers, you have to fake having these superpowers and hope they fool a god. Place a couple of dim white LED lights on a pair of goggles and they can simulate the effect of glowing grey eyes. They're also more comfortable and convenient than putting on glow in the dark contacts. And unlike uncomfortable contacts or sunglasses, the goggles will allow you to fight in hand to hand combat. If you don't have a spear and a shield, a switchblade knife taped around a piece of metal pipe and a solid hubcap taped around your arm will do. A ski mask doesn't require papier-mâché and time like a lot of cheap Greek helmet replicas. And a smoke machine can hide everything you can't hide in near darkness. After that, you can only hope that the god is too stupid to see through your ruse.
While we waited for the smoke to fill the hideout on the island, I taped the hubcap to Fi's arms. Fi didn't like the hubcap. She stomped on my right foot. I ended up soaking it in ice when this job was done.
Sam made the makeshift spear for Fi. He gave it to her when he was done.
"Remind me not to bump into you in a dark alley dressed like this."
"Don't worry, Sam. I won't."
I walked over to Alexander.
"I need you to help me lure Ares in the hideout."
"This isn't going to work, Michael."
"It's worth a try. Can you go outside for me and stand until Ares gets here?"
Alexander nodded.
Alexander was one of the few clients we ever had that listened to us instead of running away from the situation or trying to take matters into his old hands. Then again, he was so scared of his god destroying him. I don't think he had it in him to run away or rebel.
When Alexander saw Ares, he ran into our hideout and hid behind some crates. Sam and I were already hiding behind the crates. Sam pulled him down and I gagged him with my hand.
Ares walked into the hideout. He saw Fi dressed as our idea of Athena.
"Hello, dog-fly. We meet again." He bought it.
"You ready to get your ass kicked again?"
"I'll win this time. The spirit of war shall triumph."
"You can't win a war if you don't know how."
Ares charged at Fi. But Fi was able to knock Ares out with the hubcap. Then she stabbed Ares upwards in his shoulder, tearing through his beloved soccer jersey, and his upper thigh. Ares howled in pain. He was bleeding ichor, the gold blood of the Greek gods. It was shining through the hideout.
"You know what I want you to do? I want you to leave Alexander alone. I don't know why you need a sacrifice for a war held years ago. But it's over. There's always a war somewhere. Go look for another war. "
"Damn you!"
Ares hobbled to his car. Both of them disappeared in thin air.
Alexander stood up after Ares left.
"Am I really free?"
"Yes, you're free," I said.
"What's going to happen to me now?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. But you're free of Ares now, thanks to three mortals."
A couple of days later, there was an obituary in the Miami Chronicle for Alexander. He was able to die in his sleep thanks to Ares' curse being lifted. His years of suffering for saving a sacrifice were over.
There are some things a spy will never be able to explain to civilians. Missions gone wrong, deaths in the field and other strange occurrences are going to fly over the heads of most people.
After the Alexander job, I ended up taking Fi to my mom's house so I could spray WD-40 on her arm to remove the duct tape. My mom heard me spraying the WD-40 and Fi yelling various obscenities to me in her garage.
"Michael, what the hell is going on?"
She walked into the garage and froze at the sight of Fi and me.
"It's a long, crazy story, Ma."
This entry was originally posted at http://merryghoul.dreamwidth.org/257109.html. Comments on either site are fine.