Hilarity of Cuckoo Day and being involved with humourous people in Morris Teams...
The Facebook page of 'Thieving Magpie' released this piece regarding the Marsden Annual Cuckoo Day on 21st April 2012....
Cuckoo Day Again!
After a drizzly start we shared our first spot opposite The Railway with Saddleworth Ladies at an angle of 45 degrees, which meant after the "break and run" at the end of Cuckoo's Nest half of us were unable to brake and constituted a danger to traffic. Nice to see Nic again, who was one of our founder members, but has now elected to do dancing with skill in it. So fighting our ...way through the crowds (Mr. and Mrs. Plinge from Saddleworth. and their parrot, Earnshaw and, strangely, a tractor) we set off for Marsden Park. A tribute to the programmers who skillfully arranged that the next spot is diametrically opposite the present one, and the greatest distance away.
On arrival at the park we noted the presence of a pony, taking children for rides. Our record with horses is not good. We frighten horses (not intentionally). So, just to make sure little Herbert didn't get a much longer and more exciting ride than his parents had paid for, ending with them collecting him from Barnsley, Ange checked that it would be OK. That done, we tied up the magpie and got on with it.
I forgot to mention THE MAGPIE. Now I'm not saying it is not effing brilliant, crafted by Tania using Australian Aboriginal techniques employing wood and spit, but it's bloody big. And delicate. And some poor sod has to carry it. Resplendant atop its 10 foot pole it sits like a Roman standard. Unfortunately it attacks passing trees and lamp posts and invariably comes off second best. This puts a heavy burden on the carrier, knowing that if he or she damages it, the wrath of Tania will be invoked, and this is inadvisable. Tania is, how shall I put it, - Australian, and you may well end up in a billabong with a didgeridoo up you. So, after your stint, you will find you need to get rid of it. The best method is to say to some other poor sod - "Er, would you just hold this while i tie my lace" and having passed it on, bugger off quickly. I digress.
After doing Cuckoo's Nest, Ladies White Arse, and Sir John (I think) and noting a certain amount of freestyling, the superb White Rose did their stuff, and we were honoured by the presence of the fabulous Sisters in Arms, just back from their world tour where they picked up trophies for Best of Breed. (Please check this - Ed.). They are without doubt the finest rapper side I have seen for many a year, and not only can make their swords into a Star, but are working on Kangeroo Looking Pensive and Eskimo Clubbing a Seal)
Then off to Wessen Court where we watched small people dancing round the maypole and big people ditto. Well done to Penny, Jo and Keith (and of course Paul) who are our people AND big people.
To the Riverhead, where we were saved from disaster by Paul beaming down in the nick of time. We danced something or other and it was OK.
Now. Procession. The waiting crowds were treated to the sight of a huge pissed cuckoo 8 feet long trying to keep its balance on what appeared to a Corgi model of a trailer. If you can imagine the Hindenberg on a wheelbarrow you will get an idea of the spectacle. This is an example of Arty People and Engineery people. While Arty People will make effing huge constructions and then think "Oh, let's tie it to a tichy cart with ribbon", Engineery People will think "We've only got a tichy cart, we'd better make sure we've got secure fixings, and perhaps limit the size to suit the situation". No Engineery People were involved in this case. While various members of the side tried to stop it falling off, the rest were deafened by the band following behind. The band had been specially instructed not to play anything remotely approaching something you could dance to, which they did very well. Anyway,the procession processed, the crowds cheered and all went well.
So to Wessen Court where each side did a showcase dance. We did Stomp, and I was accused of being a "Crazy Goose" by some punter who had seen me at some gig I wasn't at.
The dancing ended, but not the story. At the end of the road, a huge malevolent cuckoo, lurching to one side on its tichy cart, leered down at us. It needed to be transported to the garage of SJ and Chris, having won the prize for storing the bloody thing (for a week or two - haha - I speak as one who had a headless giant in his garage rafters with his arm dangling down for 2 years. The kids wouldn't go in there). By this time the inimitable Seamus of Black Pig fame had bowled up in his van. Having decided it would probably fit in, we took the van around, to find on arrival that the others had decided it probably wouldn't fit in, and had buggered off with it. We caught the up toiling up the hill in the middle of the road, so treated them to a fine display of motor horn. Chris then treated us to a disturbing display of bare arse. It wasn't white and it wasn't ladies. Seamus stopped honking in case he did it again. Nobody should have to experience that before eating. I'll never be able to touch banana split again. After half an hour untangling the bloody ribbon (see above) we finally persuaded the cuckoo into the garage and locked the bastard in.
A superb spread had been prepared by SJ, Chris, family, and friends. The food was brilliant. Tania introduced what looked like an emu's egg, sent from Oz, which turned out to be a meringue kit. They set to preparing it, with what sounded like from the next room, an angle grinder and welding kit.
And so to the cabaret. Extricating small child from locked toilet by punching a hole through the wall. Well done Chris!
And so to the open mike night........
I'm guessing TerryArmitage wrote it, and as he is the Morris side's true comical hero, one can only weep with laughter at his posts. Absolute GOLD. Tears of laughter every time... I must make him a jester outfit for the side...
Here are images of the things he spoke about...
The pissed 8 ft cuckoo
The emu egg meringue kit
The supposed angle grinder...
The BIG people dancing the maypole
