My Dad (still living, I think) was also not there very much, even before my Mom divorced him. And the times he was there weren't all that much better. When I was 19 he tried to reconcile with my brother and me, after 6 years of no contact. After a year of a rough time, he called it off and just cut us off. I'm not sure I worse for wear, but sometimes I find myself missing those spots where other people have fond memories and I have holes.
And cancer has been an ever present dance partner since my grandfather died of his third bout when I was 16. Since then my Mom has had cancers (still living), my grandmother died with a large tumor (which might have hastened her death), and my maternal uncle has also had cancer (still living). My cousin just passed (we weren't all that close, but he wasn't much older than myself) and many of my other cousins and remaining great aunts and uncles are dealing with it.
These days, as my friends start using the words in conversation, I find myself getting angry. Not so much at them, but at cancer itself. I'm tired of it stealing people away from me.
And cancer has been an ever present dance partner since my grandfather died of his third bout when I was 16. Since then my Mom has had cancers (still living), my grandmother died with a large tumor (which might have hastened her death), and my maternal uncle has also had cancer (still living). My cousin just passed (we weren't all that close, but he wasn't much older than myself) and many of my other cousins and remaining great aunts and uncles are dealing with it.
These days, as my friends start using the words in conversation, I find myself getting angry. Not so much at them, but at cancer itself. I'm tired of it stealing people away from me.
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