**why does it hurt being me**
many people live there life one day at a time... hopeing that the night will come just to lay there head back down on the pillow and sigh knowing that they have completed one more day in this thing called life that we were all reluctenly born into.
for me i wake up and look desperatly for something to live for. i have spent the past 3 years of my life trying to find the meaning of life and im afraid to tell you that i have not found the one thing that all people strive for... happiness. i dont want to sit here and bitch about how horrible i have it when i know many many people have it so much worse then i do. Right now i dont know what to tell my best friend when all she knows is pain. I gave up on the one thing in life that i have ever loved because the pain was to great and now i dont know what to feel. I have started doing things that i know i shouldnt but i do anyways just so i wont think about life. if i have an exscuse then i will do anything not to do what i need to do. I dont know what i want anymore. I dont know what i want to do with my life. i am a junior in highschool and i will be leaving in a year and a half to starty life on my own and i am scared that i dont know what to do. I am ready to be gone and live on my own but what do i tell people when they ask whast wrong. i cant tell them that i just cant get over the past. or that i am not satronge enough to be on my own. i mean i almost feel like a piece of my is missing. the piece that makes me understand life. I am confused on what to think or how to feel...
for now i am done searching... no on left to talk to .. no one to understand...
for me i wake up and look desperatly for something to live for. i have spent the past 3 years of my life trying to find the meaning of life and im afraid to tell you that i have not found the one thing that all people strive for... happiness. i dont want to sit here and bitch about how horrible i have it when i know many many people have it so much worse then i do. Right now i dont know what to tell my best friend when all she knows is pain. I gave up on the one thing in life that i have ever loved because the pain was to great and now i dont know what to feel. I have started doing things that i know i shouldnt but i do anyways just so i wont think about life. if i have an exscuse then i will do anything not to do what i need to do. I dont know what i want anymore. I dont know what i want to do with my life. i am a junior in highschool and i will be leaving in a year and a half to starty life on my own and i am scared that i dont know what to do. I am ready to be gone and live on my own but what do i tell people when they ask whast wrong. i cant tell them that i just cant get over the past. or that i am not satronge enough to be on my own. i mean i almost feel like a piece of my is missing. the piece that makes me understand life. I am confused on what to think or how to feel...
for now i am done searching... no on left to talk to .. no one to understand...