OK, so I haven't updated since August. This is in part due to being lazy, and mostly because I was meant to write about my trip to London, and never did. Them's the breaks
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My god. I'm really touched by this. It's slightly different but my dad is in such a rut at the moment. He's always been a sharp, kind, funny and intelligent man, but he settled for working in mundane jobs instead of studying/uni when he was young, which I think he regrets a lot. Not that he regrets having a family, just not making more of himself. He used to do so much, like karate classes, but in recent years he basically goes to work, comes home, either goes to the pub or sits in and drinks, smokes all day long, goes to bed, rinse, repeat.
He was recently told that he had incredibly high blood pressure due to the smoking/drinking/no exercise, so got tablets for that. He was back at the doctor's last week and although the blood pressure has come down a bit, he has been prescribed anti-depressants as he is barely eating any more and my mum thinks he is just giving up on making an effort in life. I don't think he would consider suicide, but it's sad to see him so meh about things.
I'm waiting 2 weeks till the tablets start to take effect before i get really worried, but if i ever thought there was 1 person who could hold it all together and be normal in my family, it was my dad, so it's kinda scary that these things are happening. My mum is also at the end of her tether. He doesn't drink a lot, its just a pint or 2 in the pub but its every night and he feels he needs it to get through the day. In my opinion, he is depressed and bored. My mum feels like she exists just to cook and clean, and sometimes she is out of hand because she doesn't do enough to create a better life for herself. They have got themselves stuck in fairly deep ruts.
Fingers crossed the tablets work for him like they have done for my younger brother, but your post has made me realise that we need to say the tough things before it's too late. I think the hardest part is realising that they weren't strong enough to overcome or even see about their issues for the sakes of those closest to them. We blame ourselves for not filling them with that strength.
I feel guilty for not showing my dad how much there is to live for in the world. I think that one of the biggest things about our generation is we have been brought up to believe we can have it all, and usually we have too many hobbies to commit to, too many things we haven't yet achieved. Our parents generation were all about raising a family I guess, so my parents have absolutely no hobbies to occupy and distract them.
I'll wait a little longer before I go crazy, but thanks for opening up about it. I'm naturally sorry to hear of your dad's passing, but I greatly admire your courage in talking about it x
He was recently told that he had incredibly high blood pressure due to the smoking/drinking/no exercise, so got tablets for that. He was back at the doctor's last week and although the blood pressure has come down a bit, he has been prescribed anti-depressants as he is barely eating any more and my mum thinks he is just giving up on making an effort in life. I don't think he would consider suicide, but it's sad to see him so meh about things.
I'm waiting 2 weeks till the tablets start to take effect before i get really worried, but if i ever thought there was 1 person who could hold it all together and be normal in my family, it was my dad, so it's kinda scary that these things are happening. My mum is also at the end of her tether. He doesn't drink a lot, its just a pint or 2 in the pub but its every night and he feels he needs it to get through the day. In my opinion, he is depressed and bored. My mum feels like she exists just to cook and clean, and sometimes she is out of hand because she doesn't do enough to create a better life for herself. They have got themselves stuck in fairly deep ruts.
Fingers crossed the tablets work for him like they have done for my younger brother, but your post has made me realise that we need to say the tough things before it's too late. I think the hardest part is realising that they weren't strong enough to overcome or even see about their issues for the sakes of those closest to them. We blame ourselves for not filling them with that strength.
I feel guilty for not showing my dad how much there is to live for in the world. I think that one of the biggest things about our generation is we have been brought up to believe we can have it all, and usually we have too many hobbies to commit to, too many things we haven't yet achieved. Our parents generation were all about raising a family I guess, so my parents have absolutely no hobbies to occupy and distract them.
I'll wait a little longer before I go crazy, but thanks for opening up about it. I'm naturally sorry to hear of your dad's passing, but I greatly admire your courage in talking about it x
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