Fic: Pep Talk 1/1
Title: Pep Talk
Series: Part 3 of the 'Talk' Series
Paring: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up till ep. 107
Summary: Merlin has a talk with...someone.
Words: 1543
Ever since arriving in Camelot, Merlin had learned a lot about the ways of royalty and the court. One of those was that there were always feasts. Not a week went by when some lord or lady did not pass through to pay their respects to the King and not a visit went by without it being honoured with a feast.
Like right at that moment as Merlin stood by the side, watching the feast currently taking place in honour of Lord and Lady Danon. Goblets were refilled with wine the moment they were emptied and plates of the cooks’ best creations covered every inch of the tables. Music played in the background just softly enough for conversations to take place.
Personally Merlin thought such frequent feasts to be wasteful but what did he know. He had probably wasted his fair share of food by getting pelted with them. However, he did enjoy one aspect of the feast. Observing how people of noble birth acted was often a source of amusement for him. They held themselves with such poise and yet their eyes often betrayed the insecurities within. He wondered if he were the only one who saw through them sometimes.
Or maybe not, his inner voice reminded him. After all he had guessed wrongly what was going on in Arthur's head.
Right. Arthur. Merlin groaned inwardly.
He had left that night, three nights ago, in a daze. Gaius’ questions as to if he was well had been answered with nods as he had gone into his room, shut the door and fallen into bed. Sleep had not come easy that night.
Merlin watched as the cause of the disturbance to his sleep sat at the head of the table beside Uther, staring morosely at the plate of roast in front of him.
Since that night, Arthur had not spoken a word to him. Merlin would wager as to say that Arthur was avoiding him for he had not been called for, nor given errands to run. He never thought there would come a day when he would miss being called an idiot at least once a day.
He still did not know what to make out of Arthur's action. Or rather did not know what he felt about it. As he pieced together the conversation (if one could call it that) they had had, he understood that Arthur had been battling something other than an inner conflict about what to do about his knowledge of Merlin’s magic. The spectacular misunderstanding had revealed Arthur’s feelings for Merlin instead.
Merlin was not naïve even though he had had a relatively sheltered life. He had after all grown up in a hamlet where the men were not exactly refined in their manners and conversation. He had heard the crudest jokes and stories when he had worked for a spell at the local tavern in his village. He knew that relationships between men did occur although they were frowned upon and mocked and ridiculed.
He did not think such relationships were any more accepted among royalty. No wonder Arthur had sounded so distraught and helpless.
Helplessness. That was what Merlin had seen in Arthur’s eyes. Like he could not control what was happening to him. And for someone like Arthur who thrived on controlling himself and the image he projected, being out of control must be frightening.
Merlin realised he was actually feeling sorry for Arthur and wondered why he did not feel more disturbed by the idea that Arthur had such feelings for him. Surely he himself did not have such feelings towards males.
‘But neither have you had such feelings towards females, Merlin,’ that pesky voice reminded him.
It was true though. He had just never thought about romance when it came to himself. He was healthy enough of course for he had had those dreams, which required a change of sheets in the morning. But he could never remember what he had dreamt about. He did find girls pretty enough and liked looking at them. But he also thought that certain men looked handsome, although his admiration of them had been more envy than anything else.
Merlin paused in thought. Wasn’t it? Surely he was not one of those men who lay with other men? And he definitely did not think of Arthur that way, did he? After all Arthur had been the bane of his life at Camelot.
He looked at Arthur again. The prince was nodding at something Lady Danon was saying but it was obvious that he was hardly hearing a word.
In the beginning, Merlin had to practice great patience not to turn his powers loose on the spoilt, bullying prince. But the Dragon’s words made it easier to bear with Arthur thereafter. And after seeing Arthur’s hidden pain with regards to his father and his duty as well as Arthur’s apparent respect for those who stood up to him and loyalty to those who risked their lives for him, Merlin began to respect the prince and even count him as a friend. But just a friend…wasn’t he?
The kiss had been painful. Merlin had preferred Gwen’s kiss to Arthur’s but only in the sense that it had not left his lips feeling like they had been ground into pulp. But Gwen’s kiss had not kept him up at night, tossing and turning. Arthur’s had. Merlin could dismiss it as the shock from Arthur’s action but he knew it was not. So the question again was…did he have romantic feelings for Arthur?
By the stars, he was so confused! And he could not talk this over with anyone. He could just imagine Gaius’ or Gwen’s reaction.
Merlin smiled to himself at the sudden flash of Gaius’ aghast expression and then suddenly a thought struck him. Well, there was one person he could talk to. Or rather one…Dragon.
Merlin looked around. He was to tend to Arthur’s needs but Arthur had barely touched his food nor looked at him the whole day and was not likely to. If he sneaked out to the caves below, no one would notice surely.
Taking a few steps backwards, Merlin turned and disappeared through the side entrance.
**
The caves were always cold and the fiery torch Merlin carried gave barely enough light let alone heat. He walked to the edge of the craggy platform and looked out into the vast cavern.
“Hello? Where are you? I need to talk to you!” he shouted.
His voice echoed until silence fell again.
“It’s about Arthur!” Merlin paused. Wasn’t it always about Arthur?
He listened for the flapping of wings but there was nothing.
“Look, I just need to know what you know about us…in the future!”
Silence still. Merlin sighed and dropped his voice.
“Because of all the things I thought you meant, kissing did not even come close to it.”
“Kissing?”
Merlin started, and looked around for the source of the voice. The Dragon flew up from below and perched on a precipice opposite where Merlin stood.
“Oh, that you heard? But all the shouting didn’t help?” Merlin retorted.
“I choose what I want to hear. It’s the only choice I have here after all. Now what was this about kissing?”
Merlin suddenly wondered what possessed him to come down here and talk to a Dragon about kissing. He really needed to get some sleep.
“Go on.”
Merlin looked at his feet.
“Arthurkissedme.”
“Ah…” The smugness in the Dragon’s voice was unmistakeable.
“You are not surprised!” Merlin accused. “You knew this would happen?”
“But of course.”
“You could have told me!”
“But I did. You just choose to read what I said differently.”
“Choose to read…I thought you meant we would be the best of friends.”
“That too but more than that too.”
“I am beginning to understand why Uther put you down here,” Merlin muttered.
“So the young Pendragon has begun to discover his true feelings. That is good.”
“Good!? He cannot...”
"He can and he will. It's destiny."
"But he is the..."
“What truly disturbs you, Merlin? That Arthur likes men or that he likes you?”
“Arthur can like whoever he likes.”
“Except you?”
“I…I don’t have those feelings. I’ve never had them.”
“Really? Yet you risk your life for him so easily. “
Merlin frowned.
“I would do that for anyone.”
“Would you? Without a second thought? Without fear? Because you do so for Arthur. It’s instinctive. You protect what is yours.”
Merlin snorted.
“Are you actually trying to encourage me to do something? If you say it enough times, do you think I will believe you?”
“You came to me, Merlin. Did you really come here to hear me say different? Or did you just want a confirmation of what is already in your heart?”
“I…”
“Goodnight, Merlin. I tire of this.”
With that the Dragon flew out of Merlin’s sight.
“HEY! WAIT! YOU…”
Merlin huffed with irritation and turned away. That had been of no use at all. It only left him more confused.
So the Dragon believed that Arthur and him were supposed to…be in love? Was that his role in Arthur’s life? To be protect him and…love him?
Merlin walked away, pondering everything the Dragon had said.
**
End
One last part to go.
Series: Part 3 of the 'Talk' Series
Paring: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up till ep. 107
Summary: Merlin has a talk with...someone.
Words: 1543
Ever since arriving in Camelot, Merlin had learned a lot about the ways of royalty and the court. One of those was that there were always feasts. Not a week went by when some lord or lady did not pass through to pay their respects to the King and not a visit went by without it being honoured with a feast.
Like right at that moment as Merlin stood by the side, watching the feast currently taking place in honour of Lord and Lady Danon. Goblets were refilled with wine the moment they were emptied and plates of the cooks’ best creations covered every inch of the tables. Music played in the background just softly enough for conversations to take place.
Personally Merlin thought such frequent feasts to be wasteful but what did he know. He had probably wasted his fair share of food by getting pelted with them. However, he did enjoy one aspect of the feast. Observing how people of noble birth acted was often a source of amusement for him. They held themselves with such poise and yet their eyes often betrayed the insecurities within. He wondered if he were the only one who saw through them sometimes.
Or maybe not, his inner voice reminded him. After all he had guessed wrongly what was going on in Arthur's head.
Right. Arthur. Merlin groaned inwardly.
He had left that night, three nights ago, in a daze. Gaius’ questions as to if he was well had been answered with nods as he had gone into his room, shut the door and fallen into bed. Sleep had not come easy that night.
Merlin watched as the cause of the disturbance to his sleep sat at the head of the table beside Uther, staring morosely at the plate of roast in front of him.
Since that night, Arthur had not spoken a word to him. Merlin would wager as to say that Arthur was avoiding him for he had not been called for, nor given errands to run. He never thought there would come a day when he would miss being called an idiot at least once a day.
He still did not know what to make out of Arthur's action. Or rather did not know what he felt about it. As he pieced together the conversation (if one could call it that) they had had, he understood that Arthur had been battling something other than an inner conflict about what to do about his knowledge of Merlin’s magic. The spectacular misunderstanding had revealed Arthur’s feelings for Merlin instead.
Merlin was not naïve even though he had had a relatively sheltered life. He had after all grown up in a hamlet where the men were not exactly refined in their manners and conversation. He had heard the crudest jokes and stories when he had worked for a spell at the local tavern in his village. He knew that relationships between men did occur although they were frowned upon and mocked and ridiculed.
He did not think such relationships were any more accepted among royalty. No wonder Arthur had sounded so distraught and helpless.
Helplessness. That was what Merlin had seen in Arthur’s eyes. Like he could not control what was happening to him. And for someone like Arthur who thrived on controlling himself and the image he projected, being out of control must be frightening.
Merlin realised he was actually feeling sorry for Arthur and wondered why he did not feel more disturbed by the idea that Arthur had such feelings for him. Surely he himself did not have such feelings towards males.
‘But neither have you had such feelings towards females, Merlin,’ that pesky voice reminded him.
It was true though. He had just never thought about romance when it came to himself. He was healthy enough of course for he had had those dreams, which required a change of sheets in the morning. But he could never remember what he had dreamt about. He did find girls pretty enough and liked looking at them. But he also thought that certain men looked handsome, although his admiration of them had been more envy than anything else.
Merlin paused in thought. Wasn’t it? Surely he was not one of those men who lay with other men? And he definitely did not think of Arthur that way, did he? After all Arthur had been the bane of his life at Camelot.
He looked at Arthur again. The prince was nodding at something Lady Danon was saying but it was obvious that he was hardly hearing a word.
In the beginning, Merlin had to practice great patience not to turn his powers loose on the spoilt, bullying prince. But the Dragon’s words made it easier to bear with Arthur thereafter. And after seeing Arthur’s hidden pain with regards to his father and his duty as well as Arthur’s apparent respect for those who stood up to him and loyalty to those who risked their lives for him, Merlin began to respect the prince and even count him as a friend. But just a friend…wasn’t he?
The kiss had been painful. Merlin had preferred Gwen’s kiss to Arthur’s but only in the sense that it had not left his lips feeling like they had been ground into pulp. But Gwen’s kiss had not kept him up at night, tossing and turning. Arthur’s had. Merlin could dismiss it as the shock from Arthur’s action but he knew it was not. So the question again was…did he have romantic feelings for Arthur?
By the stars, he was so confused! And he could not talk this over with anyone. He could just imagine Gaius’ or Gwen’s reaction.
Merlin smiled to himself at the sudden flash of Gaius’ aghast expression and then suddenly a thought struck him. Well, there was one person he could talk to. Or rather one…Dragon.
Merlin looked around. He was to tend to Arthur’s needs but Arthur had barely touched his food nor looked at him the whole day and was not likely to. If he sneaked out to the caves below, no one would notice surely.
Taking a few steps backwards, Merlin turned and disappeared through the side entrance.
**
The caves were always cold and the fiery torch Merlin carried gave barely enough light let alone heat. He walked to the edge of the craggy platform and looked out into the vast cavern.
“Hello? Where are you? I need to talk to you!” he shouted.
His voice echoed until silence fell again.
“It’s about Arthur!” Merlin paused. Wasn’t it always about Arthur?
He listened for the flapping of wings but there was nothing.
“Look, I just need to know what you know about us…in the future!”
Silence still. Merlin sighed and dropped his voice.
“Because of all the things I thought you meant, kissing did not even come close to it.”
“Kissing?”
Merlin started, and looked around for the source of the voice. The Dragon flew up from below and perched on a precipice opposite where Merlin stood.
“Oh, that you heard? But all the shouting didn’t help?” Merlin retorted.
“I choose what I want to hear. It’s the only choice I have here after all. Now what was this about kissing?”
Merlin suddenly wondered what possessed him to come down here and talk to a Dragon about kissing. He really needed to get some sleep.
“Go on.”
Merlin looked at his feet.
“Arthurkissedme.”
“Ah…” The smugness in the Dragon’s voice was unmistakeable.
“You are not surprised!” Merlin accused. “You knew this would happen?”
“But of course.”
“You could have told me!”
“But I did. You just choose to read what I said differently.”
“Choose to read…I thought you meant we would be the best of friends.”
“That too but more than that too.”
“I am beginning to understand why Uther put you down here,” Merlin muttered.
“So the young Pendragon has begun to discover his true feelings. That is good.”
“Good!? He cannot...”
"He can and he will. It's destiny."
"But he is the..."
“What truly disturbs you, Merlin? That Arthur likes men or that he likes you?”
“Arthur can like whoever he likes.”
“Except you?”
“I…I don’t have those feelings. I’ve never had them.”
“Really? Yet you risk your life for him so easily. “
Merlin frowned.
“I would do that for anyone.”
“Would you? Without a second thought? Without fear? Because you do so for Arthur. It’s instinctive. You protect what is yours.”
Merlin snorted.
“Are you actually trying to encourage me to do something? If you say it enough times, do you think I will believe you?”
“You came to me, Merlin. Did you really come here to hear me say different? Or did you just want a confirmation of what is already in your heart?”
“I…”
“Goodnight, Merlin. I tire of this.”
With that the Dragon flew out of Merlin’s sight.
“HEY! WAIT! YOU…”
Merlin huffed with irritation and turned away. That had been of no use at all. It only left him more confused.
So the Dragon believed that Arthur and him were supposed to…be in love? Was that his role in Arthur’s life? To be protect him and…love him?
Merlin walked away, pondering everything the Dragon had said.
**
End
One last part to go.