Our little Kyle is growing up...
fuck...i can't focus on one thought...well i can focus on one thought, but only that thought...it just clouds out everything...i sitting there trying to listen to Mr. Porter give his sunday math lesson today, and all i could think about was Ash...this isn't a bad thing, omg, so far from being bad...but it's almost like torture, i just want to be with her...forget everything else, drop everything and just be with her...everything is just so perfect...speaking of perfect, i know that in two weeks things will still go perfect because we both want to, it's just getting to that two weeks that has me scared...i am overanalyzing things so much and driving myself nuts and it's only been 2 DAYS...i don't know...i just wish there was something i could do or say that would make things better for the both of us, just to get us both to calm down and be happy for once...i mean we are happy but we are both trying to find reasons to not be, whether or not we admit it, that is what we are doing...but on a good note, this feeling is amazing...to actually love someone and that someone actually love you back in return...i'm just scared...i know she is the one i want to be with and that she is the one i want to lose it too...but i don't know, it is just such a big step and adds so much to the relationship...and what if, like, i do something wrong or something or i don't know...i need to find the off switch for my brain, or at least the mute button b/c i am going more and more insane...i want to do it and so does she...but can we wait the two weeks...*sigh*
i love you ash
i love you ash