writers block compleetely gone
So apperently my writers block has compleetely left me,
I am opening up more, spending more time socializing with people, and all things are starting to fall into place.
I posted and ad on craigslist, and found someone to play my cat girl.
Her name is alina, she was born to a performer in the circus, she loves to dance, and she has a personality that could light a whole room, and her beauty is to match.
She was the only one I spoke to, but somehow, being the only one, she was perfect for the part, it was instant fate.
she also fits in well with the circus, that we are trying to keep alive.
She knew preatuy much right off the bat what i wantdd, she has the look, and the feel of a cat.
Too bad she is married LOL. :)
No her husband is a lucky man, and I am glad he is open minded enough to let her do her own thing.
alina was very excited about the whole thing, and was gung ho the whole time that the interview was going on. I was instantly charmmed when i met her, and more so when I saw her testing her performance abilities, how she lit everyone up and sparked all of our creativity, and we all came up with more and more ideas for the performance with the music I wrote.
aperently she has crossed paths with other performers who have worked techno mania, and,
all of us has crossed her path at least once out in ocean beach because she sells jewelry there on wensdays.
enough about alina.
So baileys friend patric has been talking to me alot, was talking to him about my cat girl peformance, and in the process he asked , "why don't you ask bailey"
I said, " I did, she said, "what am i your bitch?." then patric said, "wow she said that shit like that, fuck that was mean, she is never that mean to me, and I am kinda mean to her sometimes" I wanted to say, "because you guys fucked." but I figured it best I keep my mouth shut on that one and basicaly said well maybe its because you are kinda mean to her and I am nice to her." then we talked shrooms, which bailey said she handled that situation, but regardless I did, I just hooked him up with my connect, so that i can go back to foccusing on me, and what i need to accomplish.
The whole reason, I think though bailey isnt as nice to me, is because she doesn't really feel anything for me, while she does for patric. or maybe she senses in some way that i have feelings for her, and she cant return them so she can only be around me in small doses, or maybe it is the universe teeling me in every way possible to stay away.... I dont know, but further in this post is insight into that I think
Who knows, all i know is that I gotta keep going towards the goals, I have and not foccus so much on chicks, they always put me in a loop and when I am in that loop I am not foccused and get very little done.
So I found this post on cl, that i thought was interesting and i wrote a responce to it,
just because I saw that i had insight into it.
here is what I said followed by the original post, then i leave you with a good night.
and many blessings
you initials please. sounds almost like a situation I am in, and from what I have learned just by my own personal experience, is sometimes people can say things that don't come out right and no matter how much they try to explain it and make it right it only makes it worse. and sometimes people do things, wanting to make someone happy and somehow it ends up hurting them.
Often people never mean to hurt one another, they just end up doing it.
Lack of communication is the key cause in many cases.
The man wont tell the woman how he feels in fear she make break his heart, and in turn ends up breaking hers because he doesn't know she feels because she doesn't bother telling him in fear her heart will be broken,
thus leaving both hearts shattered on the ground.
Ugliness comes with a poison in the mind.
OFten a person shares there feelings with friends, seeking advice,
and in that shared knowledge, friends often give negative advice.
"Well she will just hurt you, she is poison for you." "he is a bad guy because the people he spends time with, or because something he did in his past"
either way, a negative thought has now been formed in that persons mind.
The negative thought is carried, and bounced around, because for some reason, perhaps its that old fiend fear again, but for what ever reason, the mind grabs hold of this thought and runs with it.
This is the poison that ruins love.
But should there be real love there, try to get passed the poison,
especial if this person doesn't truly know how you feel.
Without communication, you may never know, just what happend.
Don't run away from someone without knowing the full story.
perhaps also, your own thoughts, and fears helped create this reality that you now stand.
perhaps you feared this person would be just like the last, and out of nowhere since you have had that fear, he has been becoming, just like the last, without having realization that he is.
Stop for a minute, and try to think what it was that made you fall in love with this person, foccus on that, talk to this person, and see what happens,
you may find, everything you needed to know lied in waiting for you to just open up.
many blessings'
Why couldn't you see what you had until it left?
Why did you say and do things to hurt me and then just watch me cry?
When did you suddenly change into the man that I left?
How did something so right turn into something so damaging and ugly?
Where did the man I fell in love with go?
I am opening up more, spending more time socializing with people, and all things are starting to fall into place.
I posted and ad on craigslist, and found someone to play my cat girl.
Her name is alina, she was born to a performer in the circus, she loves to dance, and she has a personality that could light a whole room, and her beauty is to match.
She was the only one I spoke to, but somehow, being the only one, she was perfect for the part, it was instant fate.
she also fits in well with the circus, that we are trying to keep alive.
She knew preatuy much right off the bat what i wantdd, she has the look, and the feel of a cat.
Too bad she is married LOL. :)
No her husband is a lucky man, and I am glad he is open minded enough to let her do her own thing.
alina was very excited about the whole thing, and was gung ho the whole time that the interview was going on. I was instantly charmmed when i met her, and more so when I saw her testing her performance abilities, how she lit everyone up and sparked all of our creativity, and we all came up with more and more ideas for the performance with the music I wrote.
aperently she has crossed paths with other performers who have worked techno mania, and,
all of us has crossed her path at least once out in ocean beach because she sells jewelry there on wensdays.
enough about alina.
So baileys friend patric has been talking to me alot, was talking to him about my cat girl peformance, and in the process he asked , "why don't you ask bailey"
I said, " I did, she said, "what am i your bitch?." then patric said, "wow she said that shit like that, fuck that was mean, she is never that mean to me, and I am kinda mean to her sometimes" I wanted to say, "because you guys fucked." but I figured it best I keep my mouth shut on that one and basicaly said well maybe its because you are kinda mean to her and I am nice to her." then we talked shrooms, which bailey said she handled that situation, but regardless I did, I just hooked him up with my connect, so that i can go back to foccusing on me, and what i need to accomplish.
The whole reason, I think though bailey isnt as nice to me, is because she doesn't really feel anything for me, while she does for patric. or maybe she senses in some way that i have feelings for her, and she cant return them so she can only be around me in small doses, or maybe it is the universe teeling me in every way possible to stay away.... I dont know, but further in this post is insight into that I think
Who knows, all i know is that I gotta keep going towards the goals, I have and not foccus so much on chicks, they always put me in a loop and when I am in that loop I am not foccused and get very little done.
So I found this post on cl, that i thought was interesting and i wrote a responce to it,
just because I saw that i had insight into it.
here is what I said followed by the original post, then i leave you with a good night.
and many blessings
you initials please. sounds almost like a situation I am in, and from what I have learned just by my own personal experience, is sometimes people can say things that don't come out right and no matter how much they try to explain it and make it right it only makes it worse. and sometimes people do things, wanting to make someone happy and somehow it ends up hurting them.
Often people never mean to hurt one another, they just end up doing it.
Lack of communication is the key cause in many cases.
The man wont tell the woman how he feels in fear she make break his heart, and in turn ends up breaking hers because he doesn't know she feels because she doesn't bother telling him in fear her heart will be broken,
thus leaving both hearts shattered on the ground.
Ugliness comes with a poison in the mind.
OFten a person shares there feelings with friends, seeking advice,
and in that shared knowledge, friends often give negative advice.
"Well she will just hurt you, she is poison for you." "he is a bad guy because the people he spends time with, or because something he did in his past"
either way, a negative thought has now been formed in that persons mind.
The negative thought is carried, and bounced around, because for some reason, perhaps its that old fiend fear again, but for what ever reason, the mind grabs hold of this thought and runs with it.
This is the poison that ruins love.
But should there be real love there, try to get passed the poison,
especial if this person doesn't truly know how you feel.
Without communication, you may never know, just what happend.
Don't run away from someone without knowing the full story.
perhaps also, your own thoughts, and fears helped create this reality that you now stand.
perhaps you feared this person would be just like the last, and out of nowhere since you have had that fear, he has been becoming, just like the last, without having realization that he is.
Stop for a minute, and try to think what it was that made you fall in love with this person, foccus on that, talk to this person, and see what happens,
you may find, everything you needed to know lied in waiting for you to just open up.
many blessings'
Why couldn't you see what you had until it left?
Why did you say and do things to hurt me and then just watch me cry?
When did you suddenly change into the man that I left?
How did something so right turn into something so damaging and ugly?
Where did the man I fell in love with go?