Our Future is Now (Part 2) [Merlin/Arthur - 13000 - NC-17]
Title:Our Future is Now - part 2
Author/Artist: geekslave
Prompt: self-prompt
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Word Count/Art Medium: ~13k
Rating: NC-17
Contains (Highlight to view): *Underage sex, teenage pregnancy*
Disclaimer:Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thank you to the mods for being super duper patient with me and for running this great fest!
Summary: Based off the plot of the 80's movie For Keeps? Merlin and Arthur are young and in love. They are sure it's going to last forever. But forever might not be as long as they hoped when Arthur gets pregnant and they have to decide what to do about it. If their parents don't decide for them first.
~*~
Arthur drummed his fingers against the table and blew out a breath. He absolutely hated classical music. As someone who grew up in an upper class household, who was expected to really love the finer - more sophisticated things in life - his father constantly had it playing in the house as if he was trying to make Arthur appreciate it more through osmosis.
In moments of dark humor, Arthur sometimes joked with Merlin that his mother probably left to escape the concert hall that their home sometimes felt like.
Right now Uther had Beethoven’s greatest hits on a loop as they sat at their long, glass table for dinner. Uther was sitting so far away that Arthur could barely hear him, not that Uther talked very often.
They had just finished their first course which was Soupe a l’oignon. The cook was going to be coming out with the entree soon.
“Pendant que je vais etre occupe Arthur, je dois profiter de nombreuses activites prevues,” Uther needed to loudly state to reach Arthur’s ears.
Arthur tried to hold back a snort. He was sure his idea of fun was vastly different than his father’s, though he was glad that at least Uther was making an effort to plan a way to spend time with Arthur over there.
But Arthur couldn’t resist making a joke. “Aussi longtemps que je ne dois pas passer plus de temps a ecouter de la musique classique, je suis sur que ca va etre le plus amusant que je vais avoir toute l’annee.”
As usual, Uther didn’t really appreciate Arthur’s joke. He didn’t have time to rebuke Arthur for it because dinner was served.
The cook placed the food down in front of them. It was covered by a silver tray. Whatever it was smelled good.
“Je suis sur que vous apprecierez le coq au vin autant que je fais,” Uther declared with a rare smile.
Arthur lifted the tray off and the smell chicken wafted up into his nose. While it smelled lovely, it was so strong. Arthur was surprised to find himself gagging. He put his hand over his mouth and ran out of the room.
He vomited for more than a minute. He sat next to the toilet and wiped at his mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d thrown up, especially not like that.
Instead of being sympathetic, his father looked livid as he appeared in the door to Arthur’s bathroom. “I don’t believe you, Arthur. You cannot behave this way when you go to France. It was just chicken.”
“I’m sorry, father. I think it was the mushrooms. I’m not really a great fan of those.” Arthur tried to come up with an explanation.
Uther just shook his head. If you have to vomit, please have a little more tact next time.”
Arthur was too tired to shoot his father an appropriate withering look. He half nodded and his head thudded back against the vanity.
It was a struggle, but Arthur went back downstairs and managed to finish the dinner. He trudged up the stairs afterwards.
When he got to his room he sat down heavily on his bed. Now that he had a minute to think, he really wondered why he had reacted that way. He didn’t usually have any problems with mushrooms - he loved them, but the smell really had turned him off.
He clutched at his stomach as he felt nauseous again. On top of that his head was killing him. He lay back on his bed with a groan.
After a few minutes, he staggered over to his dresser and picked up his laptop. He booted his computer up. He tried to think of anything that felt unusual over the last week. On top of the throwing up, he’d had a few headaches and felt more tired lately. He’d also found himself urinating four times a day, which wasn’t usual for him.
When he looked them all up, he laughed when the first thing that was suggested was pregnancy. He supposed it wasn’t that funny. Male pregnancies were on the rise. It still wasn’t something he’d heard of very much, especially for someone his age.
But, more to have a laugh than anything else, he looked up more early pregnancy symptoms. It was starting to get less humorous the more signs he recognized.
Not to brag, but Arthur had flawless skin. Having a pimple wasn’t unheard of for him, but it didn’t happen that often, even when he was younger, but suddenly he’d had two huge pimples - one on his chin and the other on his temple.
Then there were his heightened emotions. He’d actually cried watching The Lego Movie a couple of days before.
Putting it altogether, Arthur went from finding the idea ludicrous to legitimately almost having a panic attack. He reached for his phone. He almost called Merlin, but thought better of it. There was no reason to frighten Merlin when it was most likely something else.
Doing his best impression of Merlin, Arthur came up with a simple plan. He would just buy a pregnancy test tomorrow and put his fears to rest.
The next day, he avoided his father as much as possible, which was easy since Uther was still upset over his throwing up at dinner.
Avoiding Merlin was next to impossible. They only had one class together, but they spent every lunch break together and if Arthur had begged off Merlin might have gotten worried.
With the way he behaved, he still ended up worrying him. He was tense and almost bit Merlin’s head off when he took a chip off his tray.
Merlin could clearly sense there was something wrong, but Arthur just said he was feeling a little sick. Merlin wanted to take care of him immediately, but Arthur said it was unnecessary and he was already feeling better, though that didn’t seem to convince Merlin.
Arthur and Merlin’s friend, Gwen, also picked up on Arthur’s odd behavior. When she questioned Arthur, he tried to make excuses like he did with Merlin, but finally he gave in and told Gwen his fear. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t go through this completely alone.
Proving what an excellent friend she was, Gwen drove Arthur to an out of the way convenience store and bought two pregnancy tests for him. They went to Gwen’s and he took the test in Gwen’s bathroom.
Arthur paced while he waited for the results.
“It’s a fairly simple test,” Gwen explained. “If after a minute plus sign appears in the window it’s positive, and if it’s a minus sign it’s negative.”
Arthur looked down at his phone. They had to wait another twenty seconds. It was the longest twenty seconds of his life. When the time was up, Arthur went back to the bathroom and picked the test up. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s a plus sign.” Arthur smiled broadly. “It’s positive.”
Gwen winced. “Arthur, in this situation positive is not good.”
Arthur’s face quickly crumpled as he looked at the test and back at Gwen. The realization was slowly sinking in and he threw the stick down. “It’s just wrong. It has to be. I know it’s because I’m not a woman and these tests weren’t made for men.”
Gwen hugged her arms to her chest and scuffed the carpet with her foot. “I’m sorry, Arthur. My mum’s a doctor and these tests are accurate for men, too. It’s 99% effective.”
Arthur rubbed at his forehead. “Well, then I’m-I’m the one percent. I’m the one percent.” His voice shook as he repeated it. “I’m the one percent.”
Gwen went over and put her arms around him and he fell back against her chest. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Merlin.
Gwen offered him a ride to Balinor’s pet store, Camelot’s Animal Shop, but he declined. It was only five minutes from Gwen’s house and he needed the time to clear his head.
When he got to the shop, he was beyond grateful that Balinor wasn’t there. It was just Merlin and another friend of theirs, Gwen’s boyfriend Lance.
Merlin beamed at him and ran right up to Arthur when he slowly stepped inside. He stopped smiling when he saw the expression on Arthur’s face. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”
Arthur just stared at him. He looked so happy and he hated that he was going to be the one to take that away from him. “Good day?” He managed to squeak out.
“Yes. Alice Lang came by and the golden retriever she bought from here just had puppies. They were the most adorable things you could ever see.”
Arthur nodded slowly and walked behind Merlin. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad you’re so fond of babies.”
Merlin quickly stepped in front of him. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”
Arthur closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Do you remember when Morgana told you she was pregnant?”
There was confusion at first, as Merlin’s eyes searched his face. Arthur could tell the moment it finally hit Merlin. Both his mouth and eyes grew wider and wider and his face paled. He took Arthur’s hand and led him to the small, cramped backroom.
Merlin grasped Arthur’s shoulders gently. “You can’t be.”
Arthur was prepared to blame the pregnancy hormones as he could feel his eyes well up. He stared up at Merlin. “But I am.”
Merlin gasped and wrapped Arthur up in a tight embrace.
God, Arthur had needed that. He started to cry openly.
When Merlin pulled back, he rubbed his hands up and down Arthur’s arms. “I don’t know how this could have happened.” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “I mean, I know how. I just...you’re a bloke.”
“You don’t say.” Arthur said with venom dripping from his words. He stepped back fully and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bite your head off.”
“It’s alright. I deserve it. This is my fault.”
Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Merlin, I was there, too. Remember? This is just as much my doing as it is yours.”
Merlin threw up his hands. “I know that...logically. But with Morgana and now this, it’s like there’s something wrong with my family.”
“It’s called being incredibly fertile. Your mum had four kids; it’s not exactly a surprise.” Arthur said in a weary voice.
Merlin tentatively reached over and put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur quickly found his way in his arms again.
“I’m going to look like such a freak, Merlin. I think I’m the first male pregnancy in Camelot, let alone at our school. Everyone’s going to know and they’re going to think...I don’t know what they’re going to think. I don’t know what I think.” Arthur huffed against Merlin’s chest. “I certainly can’t swim in a few months.”
Merlin groaned. “Oh, God Arthur.” He looked down at him. “Your swimming. The scholarship…”
He hadn’t even thought about it in those terms. But Merlin was right. This changed everything. Arthur slowly walked away and leaned over and gripped the edges of a thin yellow table in the corner. “It’s over.”
Merlin quickly came up behind him and turned Arthur to face him. “It doesn’t have to be.” He gulped. “We have options.”
Honestly, Arthur didn’t even want to think of those options right then. He didn’t want to think about anything. He just wanted Merlin to hold him and make all of this go away, even though he knew that wasn’t going to happen, he melted into Merlin’s arms again and hoped like hell it was possible.
~*~
Even after what happened with Morgana, Merlin had never really considered the possibility of something like that happening to him. Male pregnancy existed, but it was just an idea. It wasn’t real. Not to him. Not until now. Now it was very real.
Now he was forced to sit and discuss whether or not to abort their child or give it up for adoption. Arthur and he were sitting around Gwen’s room and Gwen, Lance, and Leon were trying to discuss things rational and they were really trying to be helpful. He was grateful, but when it came down to it, this decision was his and Arthur. Mostly Arthur’s. It only mattered what they thought and they were still completely lost.
Merlin had tried to sit down and come up with a plan to figure things out. He tried to write a pro and con list for every option and had to throw it out. They couldn’t figure this out logically. They couldn’t plan for this. That thought made Merlin’s throat constrict and his head spin even more.
No one had even suggested they actually keep the child. It wasn’t something that Merlin had truly considered when Arthur had first told him about the pregnancy. How could they keep it? They were so young and had their whole lives ahead of them.
Merlin knew that Morgana had a child young and was surviving, but he didn’t think he was as strong as her and Merlin couldn’t ask Arthur to give up on his plans. It was selfish.
Despite all of that, Merlin couldn’t help dreaming about their potential baby. He knew he would love it, which was something he had no doubt of. A child that parts of him and Arthur, the thought of it made him ache inside. He wanted to throw logic out the window, but he didn’t know how to even broach the subject.
He didn’t want to pressure Arthur and put him under any more stress.
They left Gwen’s and they went back to Merlin’s house. Arthur had been spending as little time as possible at his house. He couldn’t even look at his father. Merlin wasn’t having it any easier around his parents. He knew his parents would be devastated to find out about the baby.
Merlin and Arthur sat down and didn’t say anything. They didn’t really want to talk about the baby, but talking about anything else seemed pointless and unimportant.
“Lay back,” Merlin suddenly said as he stood up.
Arthur looked up at Merlin in confusion briefly, but complied.
Merlin took Arthur’s shoes off and started to massage his right foot.
Arthur moaned. He smiled at Merlin. “You must have been reading my mind.”
Merlin grinned, but a stifling silence soon filled the room again. After another minute, Merlin couldn’t take it anymore. “Did you ever think about having kids before?”
Even though they had been dating for years, they’d never truly discussed it because they had been so young.
Arthur looked up at the ceiling. “Not really. Not for a long time anyway. I’ve been worried that I’d turn out like my mother. Clearly she wasn’t meant to be a parent and my father always tells me how much I’m like her.”
Merlin must have hit a particularly sensitive spot because Arthur’s eyes rolled back in his head.
His gaze soon landed on Merlin and he looked up at him with love shining in his eyes. “But then I met you and I started to think maybe having a child wouldn’t be so bad. Of course I thought that would be fairly far into the future.” He sighed. “I never imagined I would be pregnant. I never imagined I’d have to consider whether or not to have an abortion or give up my child. Our child.”
Merlin gulped. He thought maybe it was time to consider another option. Before he could say anything, they were interrupted by Hunith.
“Dinner’s ready, children.”
Arthur got up gingerly and he moved toward the door.
Merlin opened the door, but then closed it suddenly and whirled around. “Maybe we should tell our parents. They might able to offer some advice.”
Arthur shook his head vehemently. “Absolutely not. Our fathers already dislike each other, they would disagree just to spite each other and we’d end up right back where we started except now with 100% more looks of parental disappointment and judgement. I can’t handle that right now. This is our baby and we need to decide.”
Merlin could only nod. He knew Arthur was right.
~*~
No matter how much they wanted it not to be true, time was ticking away fast, and they needed to make a decision. Arthur was about to enter his second trimester and even worse his trip with his father would be in a few days.
Arthur truly didn’t want to go, but didn’t know how to get out of it. Hunith had decided to mark the occasion, especially since she knew how depressed Merlin would be with Arthur gone, by getting both families together for a special dinner. She’d made Arthur’s favorite dishes.
It was like pulling teeth, but Arthur had convinced his father not to appear rude and at least stay for an hour.
As soon as they got there, Arthur left Uther to make awkward conversation with Merlin’s parents. He got to Merlin’s room and quickly closed the door behind him.
“Merlin, I can’t take this much longer. We have to decide. I have to tell my father I’m pregnant before we go on this trip. I can’t spend a week with him like this. At home I can avoid him, but not over there.” He was out of breath by the time he blurted it all out.
Merlin rushed forward and took hold of Arthur’s shoulders. “Alright, we’ll make a decision before you leave. I promise. Just calm down. Getting agitated like this isn’t good for the baby. If it gets upset, it might scratch you or something.”
Arthur looked at Merlin as if he had grown two heads.
Merlin laughed lightly. “It has fingernails now. And toenails.”
Arthur cocked his head to the side. “How do you know that?”
There was a faint blush on Merlin’s cheeks. “I did some reading online.”
Arthur took Merlin’s hands in his and squeezed his hands.
He’d avoided doing any reading about the pregnancy. If he knew what was going on inside of him, it would make the baby more real. If it was real, making this decision would just get harder. But looking at Merlin’s face, he realized there was no getting around it. This was real. He was carrying their baby.
Merlin’s baby. How could he want to do anything other than raise it? But that wasn’t logical. It just wasn’t.
Arthur looked over his shoulder toward the door and then back at Merlin. “We should probably head downstairs.”
Merlin just nodded and squeezed Arthur’s hand.
They slowly made their way to the dining room. No one except for Mordred and Freya - who kept whispering to each other - were doing a lot of talking, though his father had made sure to make a few snide comments to warn Arthur against eating too much and gaining more weight.
At one point, a pot of sausage was passed to Arthur and the smell was too much and he turned green. He was trying to hold back on throwing up. It was looking like the feeling was about to pass, when Freya tugged on his sleeve. Arthur turned to her.
“Why do they call it morning sickness if you can have it at night?” She asked in such an innocent voice.
Arthur’s eyes bugged out of his head. He realized right away she must have overheard them talking. His breath quickened and he couldn’t bring himself to look at anyone.
“What-what is she talking about?” His father’s icy voice broke through the silence.
Arthur finally turned his head slowly and only looked at Merlin. He had an equal expression of quiet panic.
When Arthur dared to look at their parents, they were all staring at him. Hunith looked confused and Balinor and Uther had equal looks of confusion, anger, and fear.
Arthur wrung his hands and looked down at the table. He took a deep breath and when he was done exhaling faced his father. “Congratulations, father. I’m not getting fat, I’m just pregnant.”
To their surprise, there was complete silence for almost one second exactly. After that all hell broke loose. Their fathers started to bellow simultaneously and their words were indecipherable. Hunith looked close to tears. She was the one Arthur felt worse about disappointing.
Arthur and Merlin turned to each other and held hands as their father’s verbal assault continued to reign down on them.
Finally, things began to calm down and they moved into the living room. They started to get down to the heart of the matter - what they would do about the baby.
“While I normally don’t agree with ridiculous liberal thinkers and their tedious slogans, I will have to concede that the idea of this being Arthur’s body and it being his choice makes sense.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. Uther truly didn’t see the hypocrisy in such a statement since he was trying to dictate what Arthur did with his pregnancy.
“That is a load of bollocks,” Balinor spit out. “There is a child involved, for God’s sake. My daughter’s accident may have been a mistake, but at least she had the decency to see it through and not kill it.”
“It’s not an it, dad.” Merlin piped up.
Balinor looked at him sharply.
Merlin just shrugged. “She’s your granddaughter. Her name is Morgause.”
Balinor glared at Merlin, but didn’t say anything.
Hunith stared at Merlin with some admiration in her eyes. She finally spoke up. “We haven’t even asked the children what they want to do.”
“They don’t get to decide this,” Balinor answered immediately. “They got into this mess and it’s up to us to fix it for their future’s sake. Merlin cannot throw away his life like his sister did. This baby has to go up for adoption.”
“You don’t get to decide that. Worry about teaching the rest of your children how to properly use contraceptives. Perhaps you can avoid this happening a third time. As far as my son is concerned, this has been decided.” Uther sneered. “Come, Arthur. We have a procedure to schedule.”
Uther left without another word.
Arthur just looked heavenward and sighed. He stood up slowly and faced Merlin. He looked devastated, but clearly was at a loss for words.
Arthur backed away and headed towards the door. He mouthed “I love you.” Merlin mouthed it back.
“Arthur!” Uther bellowed.
Arthur turned and with a heavy heart, followed his father.
Uther didn’t say another word to him on the way home or once they had arrived. He went into his study and shut the door.
The next morning, he woke Arthur up by handing him a slip of paper with the time of his appointment.
It was like Arthur was in a trance all day. He got dressed. He ate, but he couldn’t even tell you what he was wearing or what he had eaten. It was like he was on autopilot. It was the best way he knew how to handle it. He had to shut down his emotions.
When he headed towards the front door, Uther finally spoke up. “You’re doing the right thing.”
Arthur slowly turned around.
Uther walked over to him and gingerly put one hand on his shoulder. “This is the right thing.” Uther awkwardly let his hand slide off Arthur and it fell to his side. “When you were born, your mother couldn’t hold you. She couldn’t hold you for months, but I convinced her to. I convinced her that she could love you and she could be a good parent.” He laughed bitterly. ‘We see how that turned out. Arthur, some people are not meant to be parents. The sooner they realize that the better it is for everyone.”
Arthur let out a choked sob, but refused to cry in front of his father. He turned and hurriedly rushed out the door. Once he was outside, he let his head fall against the door.
His father was definitely right about one thing - some people were not equipped to be parents.
~*~
Merlin was like a zombie all day. He had gotten things wrong all day and was completely useless. Instead of sending him home, his father told him to work in the back cleaning animal cages.
He didn’t want to go home anyway. Even though he could barely function he needed to do something to get his mind off what was probably happening right now.
He would get off work in an hour and then go and pick Arthur up. He had to prepare himself for what he was going to say. This ultimately wasn’t what he had wanted, but he would not shame Arthur for this. He had to be supportive.
A half an hour before he was supposed to leave, he was shocked when Arthur marched past him. He gave Merlin a quick glance and motioned for Merlin to follow him. Merlin complied and followed Arthur into the backroom.
Merlin gulped. Even though he had been practicing, he didn’t know what to say. He started to speak when Arthur interrupted him and completely floored him.
“I didn’t do it.”
Merlin stumbled a little and put his hand out against the wall to steady himself.
“I couldn’t do it. I know that there’s nothing wrong with it. For some people, it’s the right decision, but not me. This baby...It’s you and me. It’s ours and I want it. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but I don’t think that’s us. It’s a little early, but I want our future to start now.”
Arthur clutched at his stomach and looked a bit unsure as he finished.
Merlin steadily walked towards him and crushed Arthur to him. He pulled back and kissed him fiercely. “Arthur, this is what I want, too.”
Arthur let out a huge breath and smiled in relief. He wrapped his arms around Merlin.
When they looked at each other again, they both looked nervous. But Merlin could see in Arthur’s eyes that he was sure of this decision. Merlin was too.
“We’re going to be parents.” Arthur said in a disbelieving whisper.
Merlin nodded. “We are.” He pursed his lips. “I guess now we just have to deal with our parents.”
~*~
It was Christmastime. Putting aside their differences, Uther and the Merlin’s parents gathered together once more.
Arthur and Merlin hoped that in this season of family, love, and forgiveness that they would be more receptive to their news. They waited until after gifts had awkwardly been exchanged, before Arthur cleared his throat.
“We have a special gift that we want to share with all of you.” He looked up at Merlin, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa holding Arthur close. Arthur turned back to their parents. “We’re starting a family.”
Their parents exchanged confused looks.
“In the future?” Hunith asked, even though she sounded skeptical.
Merlin shook his head. “No. Now.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “We decided to keep the baby.”
Uther and Balinor’s eyes seemed to bulge simultaneously.
Uther pointed at Arthur. “You told me you had the procedure.”
“No, no.” Arthur held up his hand. “I said everything went alright. And that’s why...because I didn’t go through with it.”
Uther roughly tugged at his hair. “What were you thinking?”
Arthur stood up. “I was thinking that I love Merlin and I love our child already. We can do this. We just need your support.”
“What about school?” Balinor asked as he marched toward them.
“We talked to the principal and he said that Arthur can take some time off, but I can still go. I can still go to university, if you help.”
Balinor shook his head. “You decided you want to play at being parents, but you want our help? We tried to give you that and you willfully disobeyed us.”
Merlin pointed at his dad. “You didn’t want him to have the abortion in the first place.”
“But I didn’t want you to throw away your life either, son. And make no mistake that’s what you’ll be doing and I will have no part of it.”
Merlin inhaled sharply.
Arthur reached out and took his hand. With everything that happened with Morgana, his reaction wasn’t a surprise, but it still clearly hurt Merlin. Arthur wished his father would open his eyes and stop being so ridiculously stubborn.
Merlin looked down at the floor briefly, but picked his head up and stared down his father. “I feel sorry for you, dad. You’re so stubborn and set in your ways that the minute your children don’t live up to what you expect from them you cut them off.” He looked over at his mother who had tears streaming down her face. “If you want to cut us out of your life then it’s your loss because Morgana is brave and wonderful and so is her daughter.”
Taking a step back, Merlin took Arthur’s hand in his. “Our child will be loved, even if it’s not by you.” Merlin turned to Arthur. “Let’s go.”
They tried to leave, but Uther grabbed Arthur’s hand. “No.”
Arthur ripped his hand away.
“You’re not going anywhere. I don’t care what Merlin wants to do with his life. His family’s only talent seems to be producing less and less intelligent children. His family is nothing and Merlin will always be nothing.”
Arthur lunged forward and pushed his father. Uther landed on the ground before any of them could even blink.
Arthur stood over him. “He is not nothing. He is the father of your grandchild. He is the man I love and he means more to me than you ever will.”
He crouched down and worried his lip with his teeth. It was painful to look at his father. He really believed that he started out with the best of intentions, but when Ygraine left something must have broken inside of him.
“Father, I really am truly grateful for you choosing to stay and try and raise me. You did your best, but it just wasn’t good enough. I deserved better and I promise you I will do better for my child, with or without your help.” He stood up and touched his stomach. “I’m not my mother and I’m not you.”
He felt like a true weight had been lifted off his chest. When he reached for Merlin’s hand, he truly believed he would have all he would ever need.
They walked out into the snow and they looked at each other and couldn’t help smiling.
Arthur was bundled up, but was still freezing in the snow. They rushed towards Merlin’s car. But before they could get inside, Merlin stopped. He looked at Arthur over the hood of the car and beamed at him.
He raced toward Arthur and took his hand. He paused before he kneeled down.
Arthur covered his mouth with his other hand. He had not been expecting this at all. Clearly, Merlin hadn’t planned it since he didn’t have a ring.
“Arthur, I told you before that I never questioned if we belonged together and that’s still true. This is the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t have a plan for this and that should terrify me - and it does. But more than that, I feel sure. It’s earlier than we planned but our family is meant to be. I know that I will love you forever and I want that to start as soon as possible. So, will you please marry me?” Merlin gave him a truly blinding smile.
It was unexpected, but so perfect. Arthur didn’t even have to think about it. He grabbed Merlin’s coat and pulled him up. He kissed him soundly. Still ghosting his lips over Merlin’s, he breathed his answer into his mouth, “Yes.”
~*~
Things of course weren’t easy. This wasn’t exactly a fairytale. But with help from Morgana and teachers at school, Merlin and Arthur got the assistance they needed to find a relatively inexpensive flat and get the money they needed to pay their bills.
It was always a struggle to pay rent month to month, but considering how much worse it could have been Arthur and Merlin felt lucky.
Being the only pregnant male in Camelot definitely drew a lot of unwanted attention, but Arthur had to find a way to deal with it. He was depressed that he had to put school and swimming on hold, but he was determined that it wouldn’t be a permanent setback. He’d get back there eventually.
Things with their families didn’t get better right away. Merlin and Arthur both assumed they would never speak to their fathers again and Arthur still hadn’t spoken to his father. But Merlin was able to make tentative steps towards a truce with Balinor.
It helped that Hunith had finally had enough and kicked Balinor out of the house for months. Balinor knew if he didn’t try to change his ways he would lose her forever.
Hunith was the only one of their parents who attended Arthur and Merlin’s wedding at the beginning of the year.
With the stress of studying for his A levels coming around the same time the baby was due, it became harder and harder to keep up with paying rent. As much as they had wanted to prove that they could make it on their own, for their baby’s sake they decided they needed to learn to accept that they couldn’t do it all.
Hunith allowed them to move into Merlin’s old house. They set things up in the basement so they could have their own space. That worked out, especially when Balinor finally was allowed to move back in just before the baby was born.
Even though he still had trouble accepting the idea that Merlin was married, Balinor tried to keep his opinions to himself and was there the day the baby was born.
It was a girl. Merlin picked out the name and called her Fionnoula after his grandmother.
They lay in the hospital bed together. It was just the three of them. Fionnoula was cradled in Arthur’s arms and they couldn’t stop staring at her.
Arthur looked up at Merlin. “This is our family.”
Merlin nodded as a tear rolled down his face. “It really is. I promise you Arthur, this is forever.”
Arthur gripped Merlin’s hand. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
Author/Artist: geekslave
Prompt: self-prompt
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur
Word Count/Art Medium: ~13k
Rating: NC-17
Contains (Highlight to view): *Underage sex, teenage pregnancy*
Disclaimer:Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Thank you to the mods for being super duper patient with me and for running this great fest!
Summary: Based off the plot of the 80's movie For Keeps? Merlin and Arthur are young and in love. They are sure it's going to last forever. But forever might not be as long as they hoped when Arthur gets pregnant and they have to decide what to do about it. If their parents don't decide for them first.
~*~
Arthur drummed his fingers against the table and blew out a breath. He absolutely hated classical music. As someone who grew up in an upper class household, who was expected to really love the finer - more sophisticated things in life - his father constantly had it playing in the house as if he was trying to make Arthur appreciate it more through osmosis.
In moments of dark humor, Arthur sometimes joked with Merlin that his mother probably left to escape the concert hall that their home sometimes felt like.
Right now Uther had Beethoven’s greatest hits on a loop as they sat at their long, glass table for dinner. Uther was sitting so far away that Arthur could barely hear him, not that Uther talked very often.
They had just finished their first course which was Soupe a l’oignon. The cook was going to be coming out with the entree soon.
“Pendant que je vais etre occupe Arthur, je dois profiter de nombreuses activites prevues,” Uther needed to loudly state to reach Arthur’s ears.
Arthur tried to hold back a snort. He was sure his idea of fun was vastly different than his father’s, though he was glad that at least Uther was making an effort to plan a way to spend time with Arthur over there.
But Arthur couldn’t resist making a joke. “Aussi longtemps que je ne dois pas passer plus de temps a ecouter de la musique classique, je suis sur que ca va etre le plus amusant que je vais avoir toute l’annee.”
As usual, Uther didn’t really appreciate Arthur’s joke. He didn’t have time to rebuke Arthur for it because dinner was served.
The cook placed the food down in front of them. It was covered by a silver tray. Whatever it was smelled good.
“Je suis sur que vous apprecierez le coq au vin autant que je fais,” Uther declared with a rare smile.
Arthur lifted the tray off and the smell chicken wafted up into his nose. While it smelled lovely, it was so strong. Arthur was surprised to find himself gagging. He put his hand over his mouth and ran out of the room.
He vomited for more than a minute. He sat next to the toilet and wiped at his mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d thrown up, especially not like that.
Instead of being sympathetic, his father looked livid as he appeared in the door to Arthur’s bathroom. “I don’t believe you, Arthur. You cannot behave this way when you go to France. It was just chicken.”
“I’m sorry, father. I think it was the mushrooms. I’m not really a great fan of those.” Arthur tried to come up with an explanation.
Uther just shook his head. If you have to vomit, please have a little more tact next time.”
Arthur was too tired to shoot his father an appropriate withering look. He half nodded and his head thudded back against the vanity.
It was a struggle, but Arthur went back downstairs and managed to finish the dinner. He trudged up the stairs afterwards.
When he got to his room he sat down heavily on his bed. Now that he had a minute to think, he really wondered why he had reacted that way. He didn’t usually have any problems with mushrooms - he loved them, but the smell really had turned him off.
He clutched at his stomach as he felt nauseous again. On top of that his head was killing him. He lay back on his bed with a groan.
After a few minutes, he staggered over to his dresser and picked up his laptop. He booted his computer up. He tried to think of anything that felt unusual over the last week. On top of the throwing up, he’d had a few headaches and felt more tired lately. He’d also found himself urinating four times a day, which wasn’t usual for him.
When he looked them all up, he laughed when the first thing that was suggested was pregnancy. He supposed it wasn’t that funny. Male pregnancies were on the rise. It still wasn’t something he’d heard of very much, especially for someone his age.
But, more to have a laugh than anything else, he looked up more early pregnancy symptoms. It was starting to get less humorous the more signs he recognized.
Not to brag, but Arthur had flawless skin. Having a pimple wasn’t unheard of for him, but it didn’t happen that often, even when he was younger, but suddenly he’d had two huge pimples - one on his chin and the other on his temple.
Then there were his heightened emotions. He’d actually cried watching The Lego Movie a couple of days before.
Putting it altogether, Arthur went from finding the idea ludicrous to legitimately almost having a panic attack. He reached for his phone. He almost called Merlin, but thought better of it. There was no reason to frighten Merlin when it was most likely something else.
Doing his best impression of Merlin, Arthur came up with a simple plan. He would just buy a pregnancy test tomorrow and put his fears to rest.
The next day, he avoided his father as much as possible, which was easy since Uther was still upset over his throwing up at dinner.
Avoiding Merlin was next to impossible. They only had one class together, but they spent every lunch break together and if Arthur had begged off Merlin might have gotten worried.
With the way he behaved, he still ended up worrying him. He was tense and almost bit Merlin’s head off when he took a chip off his tray.
Merlin could clearly sense there was something wrong, but Arthur just said he was feeling a little sick. Merlin wanted to take care of him immediately, but Arthur said it was unnecessary and he was already feeling better, though that didn’t seem to convince Merlin.
Arthur and Merlin’s friend, Gwen, also picked up on Arthur’s odd behavior. When she questioned Arthur, he tried to make excuses like he did with Merlin, but finally he gave in and told Gwen his fear. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t go through this completely alone.
Proving what an excellent friend she was, Gwen drove Arthur to an out of the way convenience store and bought two pregnancy tests for him. They went to Gwen’s and he took the test in Gwen’s bathroom.
Arthur paced while he waited for the results.
“It’s a fairly simple test,” Gwen explained. “If after a minute plus sign appears in the window it’s positive, and if it’s a minus sign it’s negative.”
Arthur looked down at his phone. They had to wait another twenty seconds. It was the longest twenty seconds of his life. When the time was up, Arthur went back to the bathroom and picked the test up. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s a plus sign.” Arthur smiled broadly. “It’s positive.”
Gwen winced. “Arthur, in this situation positive is not good.”
Arthur’s face quickly crumpled as he looked at the test and back at Gwen. The realization was slowly sinking in and he threw the stick down. “It’s just wrong. It has to be. I know it’s because I’m not a woman and these tests weren’t made for men.”
Gwen hugged her arms to her chest and scuffed the carpet with her foot. “I’m sorry, Arthur. My mum’s a doctor and these tests are accurate for men, too. It’s 99% effective.”
Arthur rubbed at his forehead. “Well, then I’m-I’m the one percent. I’m the one percent.” His voice shook as he repeated it. “I’m the one percent.”
Gwen went over and put her arms around him and he fell back against her chest. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Merlin.
Gwen offered him a ride to Balinor’s pet store, Camelot’s Animal Shop, but he declined. It was only five minutes from Gwen’s house and he needed the time to clear his head.
When he got to the shop, he was beyond grateful that Balinor wasn’t there. It was just Merlin and another friend of theirs, Gwen’s boyfriend Lance.
Merlin beamed at him and ran right up to Arthur when he slowly stepped inside. He stopped smiling when he saw the expression on Arthur’s face. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”
Arthur just stared at him. He looked so happy and he hated that he was going to be the one to take that away from him. “Good day?” He managed to squeak out.
“Yes. Alice Lang came by and the golden retriever she bought from here just had puppies. They were the most adorable things you could ever see.”
Arthur nodded slowly and walked behind Merlin. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad you’re so fond of babies.”
Merlin quickly stepped in front of him. “Arthur, what’s wrong?”
Arthur closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Do you remember when Morgana told you she was pregnant?”
There was confusion at first, as Merlin’s eyes searched his face. Arthur could tell the moment it finally hit Merlin. Both his mouth and eyes grew wider and wider and his face paled. He took Arthur’s hand and led him to the small, cramped backroom.
Merlin grasped Arthur’s shoulders gently. “You can’t be.”
Arthur was prepared to blame the pregnancy hormones as he could feel his eyes well up. He stared up at Merlin. “But I am.”
Merlin gasped and wrapped Arthur up in a tight embrace.
God, Arthur had needed that. He started to cry openly.
When Merlin pulled back, he rubbed his hands up and down Arthur’s arms. “I don’t know how this could have happened.” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “I mean, I know how. I just...you’re a bloke.”
“You don’t say.” Arthur said with venom dripping from his words. He stepped back fully and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bite your head off.”
“It’s alright. I deserve it. This is my fault.”
Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Merlin, I was there, too. Remember? This is just as much my doing as it is yours.”
Merlin threw up his hands. “I know that...logically. But with Morgana and now this, it’s like there’s something wrong with my family.”
“It’s called being incredibly fertile. Your mum had four kids; it’s not exactly a surprise.” Arthur said in a weary voice.
Merlin tentatively reached over and put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur quickly found his way in his arms again.
“I’m going to look like such a freak, Merlin. I think I’m the first male pregnancy in Camelot, let alone at our school. Everyone’s going to know and they’re going to think...I don’t know what they’re going to think. I don’t know what I think.” Arthur huffed against Merlin’s chest. “I certainly can’t swim in a few months.”
Merlin groaned. “Oh, God Arthur.” He looked down at him. “Your swimming. The scholarship…”
He hadn’t even thought about it in those terms. But Merlin was right. This changed everything. Arthur slowly walked away and leaned over and gripped the edges of a thin yellow table in the corner. “It’s over.”
Merlin quickly came up behind him and turned Arthur to face him. “It doesn’t have to be.” He gulped. “We have options.”
Honestly, Arthur didn’t even want to think of those options right then. He didn’t want to think about anything. He just wanted Merlin to hold him and make all of this go away, even though he knew that wasn’t going to happen, he melted into Merlin’s arms again and hoped like hell it was possible.
~*~
Even after what happened with Morgana, Merlin had never really considered the possibility of something like that happening to him. Male pregnancy existed, but it was just an idea. It wasn’t real. Not to him. Not until now. Now it was very real.
Now he was forced to sit and discuss whether or not to abort their child or give it up for adoption. Arthur and he were sitting around Gwen’s room and Gwen, Lance, and Leon were trying to discuss things rational and they were really trying to be helpful. He was grateful, but when it came down to it, this decision was his and Arthur. Mostly Arthur’s. It only mattered what they thought and they were still completely lost.
Merlin had tried to sit down and come up with a plan to figure things out. He tried to write a pro and con list for every option and had to throw it out. They couldn’t figure this out logically. They couldn’t plan for this. That thought made Merlin’s throat constrict and his head spin even more.
No one had even suggested they actually keep the child. It wasn’t something that Merlin had truly considered when Arthur had first told him about the pregnancy. How could they keep it? They were so young and had their whole lives ahead of them.
Merlin knew that Morgana had a child young and was surviving, but he didn’t think he was as strong as her and Merlin couldn’t ask Arthur to give up on his plans. It was selfish.
Despite all of that, Merlin couldn’t help dreaming about their potential baby. He knew he would love it, which was something he had no doubt of. A child that parts of him and Arthur, the thought of it made him ache inside. He wanted to throw logic out the window, but he didn’t know how to even broach the subject.
He didn’t want to pressure Arthur and put him under any more stress.
They left Gwen’s and they went back to Merlin’s house. Arthur had been spending as little time as possible at his house. He couldn’t even look at his father. Merlin wasn’t having it any easier around his parents. He knew his parents would be devastated to find out about the baby.
Merlin and Arthur sat down and didn’t say anything. They didn’t really want to talk about the baby, but talking about anything else seemed pointless and unimportant.
“Lay back,” Merlin suddenly said as he stood up.
Arthur looked up at Merlin in confusion briefly, but complied.
Merlin took Arthur’s shoes off and started to massage his right foot.
Arthur moaned. He smiled at Merlin. “You must have been reading my mind.”
Merlin grinned, but a stifling silence soon filled the room again. After another minute, Merlin couldn’t take it anymore. “Did you ever think about having kids before?”
Even though they had been dating for years, they’d never truly discussed it because they had been so young.
Arthur looked up at the ceiling. “Not really. Not for a long time anyway. I’ve been worried that I’d turn out like my mother. Clearly she wasn’t meant to be a parent and my father always tells me how much I’m like her.”
Merlin must have hit a particularly sensitive spot because Arthur’s eyes rolled back in his head.
His gaze soon landed on Merlin and he looked up at him with love shining in his eyes. “But then I met you and I started to think maybe having a child wouldn’t be so bad. Of course I thought that would be fairly far into the future.” He sighed. “I never imagined I would be pregnant. I never imagined I’d have to consider whether or not to have an abortion or give up my child. Our child.”
Merlin gulped. He thought maybe it was time to consider another option. Before he could say anything, they were interrupted by Hunith.
“Dinner’s ready, children.”
Arthur got up gingerly and he moved toward the door.
Merlin opened the door, but then closed it suddenly and whirled around. “Maybe we should tell our parents. They might able to offer some advice.”
Arthur shook his head vehemently. “Absolutely not. Our fathers already dislike each other, they would disagree just to spite each other and we’d end up right back where we started except now with 100% more looks of parental disappointment and judgement. I can’t handle that right now. This is our baby and we need to decide.”
Merlin could only nod. He knew Arthur was right.
~*~
No matter how much they wanted it not to be true, time was ticking away fast, and they needed to make a decision. Arthur was about to enter his second trimester and even worse his trip with his father would be in a few days.
Arthur truly didn’t want to go, but didn’t know how to get out of it. Hunith had decided to mark the occasion, especially since she knew how depressed Merlin would be with Arthur gone, by getting both families together for a special dinner. She’d made Arthur’s favorite dishes.
It was like pulling teeth, but Arthur had convinced his father not to appear rude and at least stay for an hour.
As soon as they got there, Arthur left Uther to make awkward conversation with Merlin’s parents. He got to Merlin’s room and quickly closed the door behind him.
“Merlin, I can’t take this much longer. We have to decide. I have to tell my father I’m pregnant before we go on this trip. I can’t spend a week with him like this. At home I can avoid him, but not over there.” He was out of breath by the time he blurted it all out.
Merlin rushed forward and took hold of Arthur’s shoulders. “Alright, we’ll make a decision before you leave. I promise. Just calm down. Getting agitated like this isn’t good for the baby. If it gets upset, it might scratch you or something.”
Arthur looked at Merlin as if he had grown two heads.
Merlin laughed lightly. “It has fingernails now. And toenails.”
Arthur cocked his head to the side. “How do you know that?”
There was a faint blush on Merlin’s cheeks. “I did some reading online.”
Arthur took Merlin’s hands in his and squeezed his hands.
He’d avoided doing any reading about the pregnancy. If he knew what was going on inside of him, it would make the baby more real. If it was real, making this decision would just get harder. But looking at Merlin’s face, he realized there was no getting around it. This was real. He was carrying their baby.
Merlin’s baby. How could he want to do anything other than raise it? But that wasn’t logical. It just wasn’t.
Arthur looked over his shoulder toward the door and then back at Merlin. “We should probably head downstairs.”
Merlin just nodded and squeezed Arthur’s hand.
They slowly made their way to the dining room. No one except for Mordred and Freya - who kept whispering to each other - were doing a lot of talking, though his father had made sure to make a few snide comments to warn Arthur against eating too much and gaining more weight.
At one point, a pot of sausage was passed to Arthur and the smell was too much and he turned green. He was trying to hold back on throwing up. It was looking like the feeling was about to pass, when Freya tugged on his sleeve. Arthur turned to her.
“Why do they call it morning sickness if you can have it at night?” She asked in such an innocent voice.
Arthur’s eyes bugged out of his head. He realized right away she must have overheard them talking. His breath quickened and he couldn’t bring himself to look at anyone.
“What-what is she talking about?” His father’s icy voice broke through the silence.
Arthur finally turned his head slowly and only looked at Merlin. He had an equal expression of quiet panic.
When Arthur dared to look at their parents, they were all staring at him. Hunith looked confused and Balinor and Uther had equal looks of confusion, anger, and fear.
Arthur wrung his hands and looked down at the table. He took a deep breath and when he was done exhaling faced his father. “Congratulations, father. I’m not getting fat, I’m just pregnant.”
To their surprise, there was complete silence for almost one second exactly. After that all hell broke loose. Their fathers started to bellow simultaneously and their words were indecipherable. Hunith looked close to tears. She was the one Arthur felt worse about disappointing.
Arthur and Merlin turned to each other and held hands as their father’s verbal assault continued to reign down on them.
Finally, things began to calm down and they moved into the living room. They started to get down to the heart of the matter - what they would do about the baby.
“While I normally don’t agree with ridiculous liberal thinkers and their tedious slogans, I will have to concede that the idea of this being Arthur’s body and it being his choice makes sense.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. Uther truly didn’t see the hypocrisy in such a statement since he was trying to dictate what Arthur did with his pregnancy.
“That is a load of bollocks,” Balinor spit out. “There is a child involved, for God’s sake. My daughter’s accident may have been a mistake, but at least she had the decency to see it through and not kill it.”
“It’s not an it, dad.” Merlin piped up.
Balinor looked at him sharply.
Merlin just shrugged. “She’s your granddaughter. Her name is Morgause.”
Balinor glared at Merlin, but didn’t say anything.
Hunith stared at Merlin with some admiration in her eyes. She finally spoke up. “We haven’t even asked the children what they want to do.”
“They don’t get to decide this,” Balinor answered immediately. “They got into this mess and it’s up to us to fix it for their future’s sake. Merlin cannot throw away his life like his sister did. This baby has to go up for adoption.”
“You don’t get to decide that. Worry about teaching the rest of your children how to properly use contraceptives. Perhaps you can avoid this happening a third time. As far as my son is concerned, this has been decided.” Uther sneered. “Come, Arthur. We have a procedure to schedule.”
Uther left without another word.
Arthur just looked heavenward and sighed. He stood up slowly and faced Merlin. He looked devastated, but clearly was at a loss for words.
Arthur backed away and headed towards the door. He mouthed “I love you.” Merlin mouthed it back.
“Arthur!” Uther bellowed.
Arthur turned and with a heavy heart, followed his father.
Uther didn’t say another word to him on the way home or once they had arrived. He went into his study and shut the door.
The next morning, he woke Arthur up by handing him a slip of paper with the time of his appointment.
It was like Arthur was in a trance all day. He got dressed. He ate, but he couldn’t even tell you what he was wearing or what he had eaten. It was like he was on autopilot. It was the best way he knew how to handle it. He had to shut down his emotions.
When he headed towards the front door, Uther finally spoke up. “You’re doing the right thing.”
Arthur slowly turned around.
Uther walked over to him and gingerly put one hand on his shoulder. “This is the right thing.” Uther awkwardly let his hand slide off Arthur and it fell to his side. “When you were born, your mother couldn’t hold you. She couldn’t hold you for months, but I convinced her to. I convinced her that she could love you and she could be a good parent.” He laughed bitterly. ‘We see how that turned out. Arthur, some people are not meant to be parents. The sooner they realize that the better it is for everyone.”
Arthur let out a choked sob, but refused to cry in front of his father. He turned and hurriedly rushed out the door. Once he was outside, he let his head fall against the door.
His father was definitely right about one thing - some people were not equipped to be parents.
~*~
Merlin was like a zombie all day. He had gotten things wrong all day and was completely useless. Instead of sending him home, his father told him to work in the back cleaning animal cages.
He didn’t want to go home anyway. Even though he could barely function he needed to do something to get his mind off what was probably happening right now.
He would get off work in an hour and then go and pick Arthur up. He had to prepare himself for what he was going to say. This ultimately wasn’t what he had wanted, but he would not shame Arthur for this. He had to be supportive.
A half an hour before he was supposed to leave, he was shocked when Arthur marched past him. He gave Merlin a quick glance and motioned for Merlin to follow him. Merlin complied and followed Arthur into the backroom.
Merlin gulped. Even though he had been practicing, he didn’t know what to say. He started to speak when Arthur interrupted him and completely floored him.
“I didn’t do it.”
Merlin stumbled a little and put his hand out against the wall to steady himself.
“I couldn’t do it. I know that there’s nothing wrong with it. For some people, it’s the right decision, but not me. This baby...It’s you and me. It’s ours and I want it. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but I don’t think that’s us. It’s a little early, but I want our future to start now.”
Arthur clutched at his stomach and looked a bit unsure as he finished.
Merlin steadily walked towards him and crushed Arthur to him. He pulled back and kissed him fiercely. “Arthur, this is what I want, too.”
Arthur let out a huge breath and smiled in relief. He wrapped his arms around Merlin.
When they looked at each other again, they both looked nervous. But Merlin could see in Arthur’s eyes that he was sure of this decision. Merlin was too.
“We’re going to be parents.” Arthur said in a disbelieving whisper.
Merlin nodded. “We are.” He pursed his lips. “I guess now we just have to deal with our parents.”
~*~
It was Christmastime. Putting aside their differences, Uther and the Merlin’s parents gathered together once more.
Arthur and Merlin hoped that in this season of family, love, and forgiveness that they would be more receptive to their news. They waited until after gifts had awkwardly been exchanged, before Arthur cleared his throat.
“We have a special gift that we want to share with all of you.” He looked up at Merlin, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa holding Arthur close. Arthur turned back to their parents. “We’re starting a family.”
Their parents exchanged confused looks.
“In the future?” Hunith asked, even though she sounded skeptical.
Merlin shook his head. “No. Now.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “We decided to keep the baby.”
Uther and Balinor’s eyes seemed to bulge simultaneously.
Uther pointed at Arthur. “You told me you had the procedure.”
“No, no.” Arthur held up his hand. “I said everything went alright. And that’s why...because I didn’t go through with it.”
Uther roughly tugged at his hair. “What were you thinking?”
Arthur stood up. “I was thinking that I love Merlin and I love our child already. We can do this. We just need your support.”
“What about school?” Balinor asked as he marched toward them.
“We talked to the principal and he said that Arthur can take some time off, but I can still go. I can still go to university, if you help.”
Balinor shook his head. “You decided you want to play at being parents, but you want our help? We tried to give you that and you willfully disobeyed us.”
Merlin pointed at his dad. “You didn’t want him to have the abortion in the first place.”
“But I didn’t want you to throw away your life either, son. And make no mistake that’s what you’ll be doing and I will have no part of it.”
Merlin inhaled sharply.
Arthur reached out and took his hand. With everything that happened with Morgana, his reaction wasn’t a surprise, but it still clearly hurt Merlin. Arthur wished his father would open his eyes and stop being so ridiculously stubborn.
Merlin looked down at the floor briefly, but picked his head up and stared down his father. “I feel sorry for you, dad. You’re so stubborn and set in your ways that the minute your children don’t live up to what you expect from them you cut them off.” He looked over at his mother who had tears streaming down her face. “If you want to cut us out of your life then it’s your loss because Morgana is brave and wonderful and so is her daughter.”
Taking a step back, Merlin took Arthur’s hand in his. “Our child will be loved, even if it’s not by you.” Merlin turned to Arthur. “Let’s go.”
They tried to leave, but Uther grabbed Arthur’s hand. “No.”
Arthur ripped his hand away.
“You’re not going anywhere. I don’t care what Merlin wants to do with his life. His family’s only talent seems to be producing less and less intelligent children. His family is nothing and Merlin will always be nothing.”
Arthur lunged forward and pushed his father. Uther landed on the ground before any of them could even blink.
Arthur stood over him. “He is not nothing. He is the father of your grandchild. He is the man I love and he means more to me than you ever will.”
He crouched down and worried his lip with his teeth. It was painful to look at his father. He really believed that he started out with the best of intentions, but when Ygraine left something must have broken inside of him.
“Father, I really am truly grateful for you choosing to stay and try and raise me. You did your best, but it just wasn’t good enough. I deserved better and I promise you I will do better for my child, with or without your help.” He stood up and touched his stomach. “I’m not my mother and I’m not you.”
He felt like a true weight had been lifted off his chest. When he reached for Merlin’s hand, he truly believed he would have all he would ever need.
They walked out into the snow and they looked at each other and couldn’t help smiling.
Arthur was bundled up, but was still freezing in the snow. They rushed towards Merlin’s car. But before they could get inside, Merlin stopped. He looked at Arthur over the hood of the car and beamed at him.
He raced toward Arthur and took his hand. He paused before he kneeled down.
Arthur covered his mouth with his other hand. He had not been expecting this at all. Clearly, Merlin hadn’t planned it since he didn’t have a ring.
“Arthur, I told you before that I never questioned if we belonged together and that’s still true. This is the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t have a plan for this and that should terrify me - and it does. But more than that, I feel sure. It’s earlier than we planned but our family is meant to be. I know that I will love you forever and I want that to start as soon as possible. So, will you please marry me?” Merlin gave him a truly blinding smile.
It was unexpected, but so perfect. Arthur didn’t even have to think about it. He grabbed Merlin’s coat and pulled him up. He kissed him soundly. Still ghosting his lips over Merlin’s, he breathed his answer into his mouth, “Yes.”
~*~
Things of course weren’t easy. This wasn’t exactly a fairytale. But with help from Morgana and teachers at school, Merlin and Arthur got the assistance they needed to find a relatively inexpensive flat and get the money they needed to pay their bills.
It was always a struggle to pay rent month to month, but considering how much worse it could have been Arthur and Merlin felt lucky.
Being the only pregnant male in Camelot definitely drew a lot of unwanted attention, but Arthur had to find a way to deal with it. He was depressed that he had to put school and swimming on hold, but he was determined that it wouldn’t be a permanent setback. He’d get back there eventually.
Things with their families didn’t get better right away. Merlin and Arthur both assumed they would never speak to their fathers again and Arthur still hadn’t spoken to his father. But Merlin was able to make tentative steps towards a truce with Balinor.
It helped that Hunith had finally had enough and kicked Balinor out of the house for months. Balinor knew if he didn’t try to change his ways he would lose her forever.
Hunith was the only one of their parents who attended Arthur and Merlin’s wedding at the beginning of the year.
With the stress of studying for his A levels coming around the same time the baby was due, it became harder and harder to keep up with paying rent. As much as they had wanted to prove that they could make it on their own, for their baby’s sake they decided they needed to learn to accept that they couldn’t do it all.
Hunith allowed them to move into Merlin’s old house. They set things up in the basement so they could have their own space. That worked out, especially when Balinor finally was allowed to move back in just before the baby was born.
Even though he still had trouble accepting the idea that Merlin was married, Balinor tried to keep his opinions to himself and was there the day the baby was born.
It was a girl. Merlin picked out the name and called her Fionnoula after his grandmother.
They lay in the hospital bed together. It was just the three of them. Fionnoula was cradled in Arthur’s arms and they couldn’t stop staring at her.
Arthur looked up at Merlin. “This is our family.”
Merlin nodded as a tear rolled down his face. “It really is. I promise you Arthur, this is forever.”
Arthur gripped Merlin’s hand. “I’m going to hold you to that.”