FIC: Anything for Love [Merlin/Arthur - R]
Title: Anything for Love
Author/Artist: vix_spes
Prompt: Arthur has to the age of ? to get married. He asks his best friend to marry him in name only. They end up falling in love and having sex (or maybe they’ve always been secretly in love) or maybe they are forced to prove they have consummated the relationship. But when they do and Merlin gets pregnant - it complicates matters entirely!
Pairing(s): Arthur/Merlin with mentioned Gwaine/Morgana
Word Count/Art Medium: c.15,900
Rating: R
Contains: None
Disclaimer:Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Huge thanks to blue_eyed_1987 for beta-ing … all remaining mistakes are my own and thedragonsinger for cheerleading. Set during the canon era but AU as Merlin and Hunith have always lived in Camelot, Morgana isn’t Uther’s daughter and very few of the recognisable knights exist.
Summary: They agreed to get married as friends, promising themselves that they would hide their true feelings. But true feelings can never remain silent…
~*~
Eighteen years ago…
“He’s so little…” Camelot’s young prince, barely three and a half years old himself, looked on in amazement at his new nanny’s young son.
“He is, but that it is to be expected Prince Arthur; Merlin is only a few months old. I have it on good authority that you were nearly as small when you were the same age.”
Hunith watched with a soft smile on her face as Arthur’s face, still chubby with baby fat, was wreathed in smiles as he held out a finger and it was immediately grasped in Merlin’s iron grip.
“He’s strong!” Arthur marvelled and then giggled as Merlin dragged his finger, still encased in Merlin’s fist, into his mouth.
“He is and he obviously likes you.”
“I like him too. We’re going to be best friends and nothing will split us up. Ever.”
Hunith couldn’t help but laugh at that. Really, Prince Arthur could be awfully sweet when he wanted to be and other than a couple of minor tantrums, which had been easily resolved, she had seen no evidence of the brat that people had told her about.
“That’s a lovely idea Arthur but it can’t happen. You’re the Prince of Camelot; your father is going to want you to marry a Princess or a Lady someday and then you’ll be King.”
“Why a Princess or a Lady? They’re boring.”
“That’s what’s expected of you.”
“Can’t I marry Merlin instead?”
Hunith didn’t have the heart to tell Arthur ‘no’; not when he seemed so happy babbling about how he would marry Merlin and then they could be together forever.
~*~
Nine years ago….
Merlin squeaked as he was nearly squashed by Arthur flopping down on top of him, the noise causing enough of a disturbance that they froze immediately for fear of being caught. Their antics drew the gaze of a suspicious stable boy but they obviously ducked down enough that he couldn’t see them. The minute that he was occupied, Merlin turned to Arthur and glared as best as he was able.
“Arthur! What do you think you’re doing? Aren’t you supposed to be down there with your father greeting the new guests?”
“It’s only old Gorlois and his daughter Morgana; it doesn’t matter if I’m there or not.”
Merlin shot him a sideways glance, not entirely believing the latter part of the sentence but willing to let it slide. “Isn’t Morgana the one who beat you at swordplay last time they were here?” He did his best not to grin as Arthur scowled at him.
“Can we not talk about that Merlin.”
“Whatever you say Arthur,” Merlin was silent for a while before he piped up again. “Aren’t there quite a few lords and Kings here with their daughters at the moment?”
His question was received with silence from Arthur and Merlin looked over several minutes later. “Arthur?”
“Father is meeting with them to discuss the possibility of my marrying one of them.”
“But, but you don’t know any of them. How can you be in love with them?”
“I don’t have to love them Merlin, I’m the Crown Prince of Camelot. Father says that I have to marry to ensure that the Pendragon’s continue to rule Camelot.”
“But that’s so unfair!” Merlin’s bottom lip was quivering in outrage. “You should be able to marry someone that you like. Do you never imagine who you’re going to marry?” Merlin looked confused as Arthur burst out laughing. “Why are you laughing Arthur?”
“Do you know who I always said that I was going to marry Merlin? You. When you were born, I said that we would be friends forever, that nothing was ever going to split us up. Your mum laughed at me and said I was very sweet but that wasn’t possible because we’d have to marry other people eventually. I said that I would just marry you.”
Merlin’s head whipped around so fast that Arthur was amazed that he didn’t break his neck. “What?”
“When I was about five, maybe even younger, I was convinced that I would marry you.”
There was a long pause and Arthur was afraid that he’d pushed Merlin away before Merlin finally spoke.
“Why don’t you marry me?”
“What?”
“Why don’t you marry? At least then you would be married to someone that you like, even if we don’t love each other like that.”
“How would it work though?”
“Well, how about if you haven’t found a princess or a lady that you can love by the time your father makes you his heir officially then we’ll get married.”
“Isn’t that unfair on you though?”
Merlin just shrugged and blushed to the tips of his ears as Arthur gave him a one-armed hug.
Later that day, when he had been discovered hiding and was supposed to be having his lessons in swordplay, Arthur couldn’t help but replay the conversation that he had had with Merlin over and over again. He could have kicked himself for having brought up the whole marriage subject with Merlin but then somehow it had taken a turn for the better. In fact, he couldn’t believe the turn that it had taken; he couldn’t have imagined it better. Merlin, his Merlin (because Arthur was nothing but possessive), had said that if Arthur hadn’t fallen in love with someone and wanted to marry them by the time he was named Crown Prince then Merlin would marry him. All Arthur had to do was ensure that, when the time came, Merlin did marry him.
Recently, Arthur, along with several other lads of a similar age from noble families who were being fostered in Camelot, had reached a certain age where they had been forced to endure a rather awkward and uncomfortable lecture from Gaius. All of them still shuddered at the thought of it but it had been necessary. They had been aware of the fact that their bodies were changing and that they were starting to take an interest in the opposite sex (Bess the laundry maid was a popular choice) for some time and it had been beneficial for them to hear something other than the ribald commentary from the older knights. Still, as attractive as Bess was, she didn’t tickle Arthur’s fancy. He found his eyes drawn more towards the older fosterlings more than any of the buxom laundry maids or tavern wenches. His eyes were actually drawn to Merlin more than anybody else and, when he started waking with sticky sheets and flushed with the memories of his dreams, it had been Merlin who had been the starring character.
The only downside was that Arthur was fairly certain that Merlin had only offered to marry him out of friendship rather than love. That wasn’t the end of the world though; they were still only young. Arthur had plenty of time to get Merlin to fall in love with him.
~*~
Present day…
“Merlin? Are you in here?” Arthur poked his head around the door of Gaius’ chamber, hoping that his errant best friend would be hiding in his mentor’s workroom, wrinkling his nose at the smell. Even after so many years hanging around in this very room, he still wasn’t used to the scents in the air.
“Arthur?” Merlin’s head popped up from behind a workbench in the far corner. “What brings you down here?”
“I need to talk to you about something important. Are you busy or can you go for a ride with me?”
“If you go and saddle the horses while I finish this then I can meet you down there and get away for a couple of hours. Does that work?”
“It does,” Arthur gave a relieved smile. “Thank you Merlin.” Despite his relief that he could talk to Merlin about this immediately, Arthur couldn’t help but feel nervous at the prospect of having this conversation with Merlin. It was all his father’s fault (and Morgana’s he supposed for having married Gwaine, the oldest son of the King Lot of Orkney). If only he hadn’t been born a prince; this would have been so much easier if he hadn’t.
***FLASHBACK***
“Father? You wanted to see me?” Arthur stepped into the throne room to see that his father was all alone, not surrounded by his usual gaggle of advisors.
“Arthur, yes come in. I need to talk to you.” Uther waited until Arthur had closed the door behind him and taken a seat in front of Uther before he spoke again. “Not that you’ve reached your twenty-first birthday and been crowned Crown Prince of Camelot, it’s time for you to take a wife. You will have until your twenty-second birthday to marry.”
“What? But … father!”
“You can protest all you like Arthur, I will not change my mind. This unwritten rule has held fast for many generations and it will not change now. I had married Ygraine by my twenty-second birthday and the same with my father and mother before me.”
“But…”
“You will be married by your twenty-second birthday and I will give you leave to choose your spouse. It’s just a shame that Morgana is married to that boy from Orkney; it would have been useful to have strengthened our alliance with Gorlois.”
As Uther’s musings tailed off, Arthur’s brain caught onto the particular wording that his father had used. “Father? Can I just clarify that you are allowing me to choose my own spouse?”
“Hmm? Yes, yes of course. I’m sorry Arthur; I have duties to attend to. We’ll talk later.”
Arthur stood and dipped his head, recognising the dismissal for what it was. His mind was already working at lightning speed to work within the parameters of his father’s vague language.
***END FLASHBACK***
Despite drifting off into a bit of a daydream, Arthur still had two horses saddled and ready to go, a saddlebag with skins of water and a few apples slung over the flanks of his horse, by the time that Merlin made it down to the stables. No doubt he had got caught up in another task and had assumed, quite rightly, that Arthur wouldn’t mind too much. With anybody else, Arthur would undoubtedly find it irritating but with Merlin it had never been anything but endearing. Then again, having grown up in Camelot, Merlin had always walked to the beat of his own drum. Neither of them spoke as they rode, simply riding automatically for a glade in the forest that they had considered to be theirs even since they had discovered it about ten years ago.
***FLASHBACK***
It had been one of those days. One of the days that came around every year without fail and a day that Arthur had dreaded ever since he was old enough to understand what it meant. The day in question was the day of Ygraine’s death. Arthur hated it because, not only was it the day that his mother died but, it also had a tendency to overshadow his birthday which was a mere one day prior. Arthur hated it. It wasn’t merely the fact that it overshadowed his birthday and, as a result, his father never wanted to celebrate Arthur’s birthday with him. It was the fact that he didn’t have a mother anymore and, for those days or week every year, he had a father who was even more distant than usual. He was better off now than he had been at first; at least now he had Hunith. Hunith was amazing. She told brilliant stories about knights and dragons, she gave wonderful hugs and she was the reason that Arthur now had Merlin but that was also the problem. Hunith was Merlin’s mum, not Arthur’s, and nothing was going to change that.
Another problem was that Arthur had no memories of his mother at all. Ygraine was just a fairytale to him. She had died one day after Arthur’s birth and very few people in Camelot dared to mention her for fear of angering Uther. And of course Ygraine’s family had blamed Uther (and indirectly Arthur) for her death, refusing to have any further contact with either of them. There were a couple of exceptions in Camelot who were willing to break Uther’s unofficial decree that Ygraine not be mentioned, notably Gaius, Geoffrey of Monmouth and two rather grizzled knights who had been Ygraine’s personal guards, Sir Bors and Sir Gereint. The only thing was, there was only so much that they could tell him. For more details, he would have to ask Uther.
It hadn’t gone well.
For all of his faults as a father, Uther had never hit Arthur, had never raised a hand to him. He had simply been distant and incapable of demonstrating his love and pride. This time, too wrapped in grief and depression that had been fuelled by a combination of too much time left alone with his thoughts and too much alcohol, while he hadn’t hit Arthur, Uther had raised his hand. Arthur hadn’t waited around any longer and had fled the room, running straight to Merlin. In what hadn’t been Arthur’s brightest idea, although in his defence he had only been ten years old, he had convinced Merlin to run away with him.
In reality, they hadn’t made it very far before they were exhausted, although they probably made it further than people would have expected a ten year old and a six and a half year old to get just by walking. They had made it as far as the glade before they had stopped, legs aching and desperate for water. The two of them had settled at the base of a tree, Merlin cuddling close as though he sense Arthur had needed the comfort. He had listened to Arthur talk himself out before the two of them simply fell asleep, not realising the uproar they had caused, finally being found by Sir Bors and Sir Gereint well after dusk. Since then, the glade had been their go-to place when they needed to escape from Camelot.
Quite simply, the glade was theirs.
***END FLASHBACK***
Once they had arrived at the glade, tethering the horses so that they could graze and settling themselves so that they were sat with their legs immersed up to their knees in the cool water, Merlin continued to stay quiet giving Arthur time to collect his thoughts before he spoke. That was just one of the things that Arthur loved about Merlin, and there were a lot more. Because therein lay yet another problem with this situation; Arthur was in love with Merlin and had been for a long time.
It was the reason that Arthur had made a point of ensuring that his father had said that he needed to take a spouse and not a wife. At least not after the first use of the word. Wife would mean that he had to marry some vapid princess or lady from amongst his father’s sycophantic cronies whilst spouse meant that he could marry merlin. Although Arthur couldn’t help but feel that, if Merlin agreed to this, he was essentially trapping Merlin into a marriage that he didn’t truly want to be a part of. The likelihood that Merlin could actually remember his offer was slim; they had only been children after all. The likelihood that Merlin loved Arthur or felt anything more than friendship was even slimmer, probably non-existent. Still, being married to Merlin who felt nothing for Arthur but friendship was better than marrying some woman that he couldn’t stand the sight of, even if he would feel horribly guilty. Not really knowing what to say in the slightest, never mind even start the conversation, Arthur did what he did best when it came to Merlin; he blurted everything out.
“Do you remember us having a conversation ten years ago when I said that I would have to marry whoever he wanted me to in order to forge alliances for Camelot?” Merlin made a soft noise of acknowledgment but Arthur ploughed ahead before he could really say anything properly. “I don’t suppose you remember that at the same time you also said that, should my father force me to get married, you would marry me?”
“Yes, I remember saying that but why are you bringing it up now? Arthur, what’s going on?”
“My father summoned me to the throne room this morning where he proceeded to inform me that I have until my next birthday to find myself a spouse as that is the Pendragon way.”
“I assume that spouse is the word that he specifically used seeing as you’re asking me?”
This was another thing that Arthur loved about Merlin; his ability to cut through the minutiae and get straight to the point. Arthur may call him an idiot quite a lot of the time and God knows, Merlin could play the role when he wanted to but the truth was that Merlin was far from being an idiot. He may not be of noble blood but, having grown up in Camelot as Arthur’s closest friend, he was a child of the court nonetheless. In fact, Arthur was convinced that Merlin was perfectly suited to the role of royal consort. It was only when Merlin punched him in the shoulder that Arthur realised he had gotten a bit too carried away imagining Merlin as the royal consort, especially if Merlin had chosen to resort to hitting Arthur; casual punches and headlocks were Arthur’s chosen ways of showing affection after years spent training with the knights, something that Merlin had always derided.
“What was that for?” He whined, rubbing his arm in the hope of getting some sympathy. He didn’t get any of course.
“Don’t be a girl Arthur, you’re always saying that Morgana hits harder than me.”
“Yeah well, Morgana hits harder than half of my knights. Gwaine’s a brave man to marry her; I wouldn’t want to.”
“I like her but you’re right, she is scary when she wants to be. Now, are you going to answer my question? Did your father specifically say spouse of did he say wife?”
“He definitely said spouse, the word wife was only mentioned once. The only other thing was that he was disappointed Morgana had already married Gwaine.”
There was a pause and Arthur knew that Merlin was running everything over in his head. The problem was, Arthur wasn’t good at waiting for answers; he had a tendency to babble. And that was exactly what he proceeded to do. Babble.
“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a proper marriage. I’m not going to force you into that. Well, it does have to be a proper marriage in that there would be a ceremony in Camelot in front of all of the nobles and you would be named royal consort. You’d have to attend sessions of court and a whole host of other things that would be expected of you. But, um, well, you wouldn’t be expected to um, you know, consummate the marriage. I wouldn’t expect that of you. It would be a marriage in name only. We’d be married but our relationship would stay exactly as it is now.”
Arthur wanted to say more, he needed to say more but he didn’t know what to say so he simply stayed silent. Finally, a smile appeared on Merlin’s face; the sincere one that, ninety percent of the time, was reserved for Arthur alone.
“In which case, Prince Arthur, I believe you have a question that you need to ask me.”
It took Arthur a few seconds to understand what Merlin had said and for it to sink in. Not caring that he wasn’t being particularly graceful, he scrambled to one knee and tried not to laugh at the shock in Merlin’s wide eyes.
“Merlin Emrys, would you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my royal consort?”
“Arthur Pendragon, it would be my pleasure.”
(~*~)
That evening, ensconced in the privacy of the little out-of-the-way chambers that had been his since he had grown too old to share his mothers and which had also been given to him by virtue of his position as apprentice to both Gaius and Geoffrey, Merlin proceeded to have a minor breakdown over what he had agreed to do. It wasn’t that he regretted agreeing to marry Arthur. Far from it. The problem was, Merlin didn’t know how he was going to deal with marrying Arthur and living within a marriage that was a marriage in name only. The problem lay in the fact that Merlin actually did love Arthur and loved him as more than a friend. In the privacy of his own rooms, in his dreams, Merlin had always fantasised about marrying Arthur Pendragon and becoming the Prince Consort of Camelot. What he hadn’t envisaged was that he would get what he wanted but without love being involved. Well, it was involved but it was platonic love only and not the deep-seated romantic and white-hot passionate love that Merlin had always dreamt about. Still, he supposed that what he was getting was better than nothing. All he had to do was tell his mother and Gaius which wasn’t going to be the easiest thing he had ever done. It could be worse though; he could be the one who had to tell the King.
~*~
“I’m sorry; I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Uther’s voice had taken on the quiet, deadly tone that spelled disaster for the recipient. Anybody else would be backtracking furiously while attempting to remove themself from Uther’s presence as quickly as possible. Arthur wasn’t anybody else though.
“Father, I specifically checked the wording with you when you told me that I was allowed to choose my own spouse. You stated emphatically that I was allowed to choose my own spouse and I have done precisely that. I have chosen Merlin.”
“But, but he’s a MAN!” Uther coughed and spluttered, his face turning a rather unflattering shade of purple. “How are you going to consummate the marriage and provide heirs to the throne? It is your duty to ensure that the Pendragon line will continue to sit on the throne of Camelot. I forbid you to marry that boy.”
“You can’t forbid me from marrying him Father. I will marry him with or without your approval; I am of age and, prince of Camelot or not, I do not need to ask your permission. There is nothing in the laws of Camelot that prevents either the King or any future King from marrying a man. I have proposed to Merlin and he has accepted. We shall start preparations immediately and be married by the summer solstice.”
Arthur didn’t bother to wait for his father to respond, he simply strode out of the hall intent on finding some of the knights in the hopes of taking out his frustrations on a couple of hapless new recruits. He had done as his father wanted over his own desires far too often in the past and he had no intentions of doing so now, even though it didn’t sit quite right with him.
He needed to get rid of his frustrations with a sword and then he needed to find Merlin.
~*~
Merlin looked at himself in the mirror as his mum and Gaius fussed around him and barely recognised the person staring back at him. Things seemed to have passed in a blur ever since news of the engagement between he and Arthur had been formally announced to the people of Camelot. Even though he had made the announcement himself, Uther still hadn’t been too happy about the fact that Arthur was marrying Merlin but Arthur had inherited his stubbornness from his father and had refused to back down from his decision despite the begging, threatening and attempted bribery from Uther. There had been grumbles of discontent from members of court as well, mostly cronies of Uther who were of the opinion that Arthur should be marrying a princess or a lady in order to strengthen Camelot’s alliances. Still, the news had been met with great delight amongst the friends of both Arthur and Merlin, the knights and the ordinary people of Camelot.
As soon as the announcement had been made, preparations for the ceremony began with both Arthur and Merlin doing their very best to stay out of the details unless they were asked for a definitive answer. They didn’t want a big ceremony or a huge celebration, even though both were expected as it was a Royal wedding because they knew the truth; this was as far from a real wedding as they could get. Their clothes had been taken care of by Morgana, who had swanned in from Orkney, a grinning Gwaine at her side, announcing that she wouldn’t miss this for the world. Every other detail had been taken care of by courtiers and overseen by Hunith who, even though she hadn’t completely agreed with Merlin’s reasoning, had supported he and Arthur all the way. She appeared at his shoulder now, wearing a new dress like nothing Merlin had ever seen her in but still very much his mum.
“It’s time. They’re ready for you.”
(~*~)
The ceremony and the feast that followed went past in a blur for Merlin. He didn’t remember giving his responses to the words Geoffrey spoke but judging by the kiss that he received from Arthur and the fact that a golden circlet very similar to Arthur’s rested on his brow, he had obviously said the correct words and he was now married Arthur.
There had been a lavish feast accompanied by prodigious amounts of alcohol, speeches from Uther and Leon, dancing and the same sort of entertainment that was seen at the Yule Feast. Merlin enjoyed himself, of course he did, as he sat next to his new husband at the top table and danced with him followed by Morgana, a cheekily grinning Gwaine and a whole host of others including his mother but there was a little voice in the back of his head that whispered he would enjoy this much more if this were a real wedding. As the newlyweds rose from the table in order to retire for the evening, a huge cacophony arose from the benches where Arthur’s knights were sat; wolf-whistles, catcalls, jeering, goblets knocked on the tables and foot stamping. Arthur took it good-naturedly, grinning widely and rolling his eyes at some of the more ribald comments from Gwaine but Merlin could feel himself blushing so much that his ears were bright red and his face was probably the same colour as the knights cloaks.
They could still hear the celebrations several corridors away as Merlin allowed himself to be tugged along by the grip that Arthur had on his hand. This was the part of the evening that Merlin had been dreading the most; the part where this was real, where he and Arthur were married and not only would they be sharing the rest of their lives together but they would be sharing a bed as well. They had a very awkward conversation about sleeping arrangements a while back and had discussed whether or not they could get away with not sharing a bed before realising that it would be too easy for them to get caught if they didn’t. They had come to the conclusion that they had no choice but to share a bed and they would just cope. After all, they had shared a bed plenty of times when they were younger and Arthur’s current four-poster bed was obscenely large.
What they hadn’t expected when they arrived at Arthur’s chambers was to be met by Uther and a select few of his inner council. When questioned, they were informed that, due to reservations about the marriage and the legitimacy of the feelings involved, the council would be present in the bedroom to ensure that the marriage was consummated and that said reservations could be laid to rest. Merlin was too shocked to say anything but Arthur protested vocally only to have all of his objections overruled with it being pointed out that it had been a precedent in years past, primarily to ensure that any heirs were genuine. Left with absolutely no choice, they entered the bedroom both of them unhappy with what they were about to be forced to do. Something that they had both hoped might happen one day was going to happen but not through their choice and not in a situation that they were comfortable. Instead of it being something private, something between the two of them, they were going to have an audience even though Arthur had managed to negotiate that they would have a modicum of privacy guaranteed by the sheer drapes surrounding Arthur’s bed.
Not too long after the marriage had been consummated, after they had been left in privacy at last by a satisfied council, the two of them lay curled together with Arthur’s arms wrapped around Merlin’s skinny shoulders. They had intended on spending the night on opposite sides of the bed but after what they had just been forced to go through, they both needed the company. As Merlin shuddered, Arthur instinctively pulled him closer, bending his head so that his mouth was near Merlin’s ear.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, it wasn’t your fault.”
“But…”
“It wasn’t your fault Arthur.”
What more could they say? None of this was going to plan. All they could do was hope that things didn’t get any worse.
~*~
In the wake of their marriage, Arthur’s duties had changed very little from what they had been previously. He was still in charge of the Knights of Camelot and trained with them every day as well as taking part in several patrols each week although the organisation of said patrols was left in Leon’s capable hands. In addition, there was some paperwork that his father expected him to take care of, he had council meetings to attend and open court to sit in on to hear petitions from the citizens of Camelot. All in all, for Arthur married life wasn’t very different to when he had been single except for, well, the fact that he was married.
For Merlin, it was a completely different story. He may have spent his whole life as Arthur’s best friend and closest confidante but in those roles he had been allowed to take a back seat and fly under the radar somewhat. He wasn’t a noble but then neither was he treated as a commoner either. All of that changed on the day that he and Arthur exchanged their marriage vows. Even though there wasn’t yet a true role for Merlin and neither would there be until Arthur took the throne as King of Camelot, he was still expected to learn.
For Merlin, that ended up being given a seat on several councils and sitting in on open court sessions with Arthur. Were he female, Merlin could expect to spend time with ladies-in-waiting doing needlework or whatever it was that women did (unless you were Morgana) but he was not and the offer for him to join the knights had been unequivocally shot down by both Merlin and Arthur. Both of them had been adamant that Merlin could handle a sword well enough; he no longer dropped it instantly and could defend himself adequately thanks to Leon being an infinitely more patient teacher than Arthur had been. He was never going to be the swordsman that Arthur was but that didn’t matter, that was what Arthur was for. It didn’t take long before a compromise was reached that even Uther was happy with. Merlin would attend open court and council meetings with Arthur as they had already agreed and the rest of his time would be split equally between Gaius and Geoffrey of Monmouth training in both of their professions as he had been for several years already. Both men would have to find new apprentices given that it was inevitable that Merlin would become Royal Consort with all that entailed at some point in the future. Still, it was better than him spending all of his days doing nothing much.
It was all going wonderfully well with very few mishaps until, several weeks after the wedding, Arthur started to be more than a little concerned about the health and well-being of his new spouse. Merlin had always been pale but now he was paler than blank parchment all of the time and he was always tired, practically falling asleep in his dinner on several occasions when he and Arthur dined privately in their chambers. When questioned about it, Merlin merely brushed it off saying that he was simply getting used to his new duties and that it would pass. Only it didn’t, it got worse. In addition to the pallid complexion and the fatigue, Merlin started feeling nauseous constantly and throwing up at all hours of the day. Still he refused Arthur’s requests that he go to Gaius. The symptoms had been occurring for a few weeks when the decision was taken out of Merlin’s hands when he fainted in the lower town and was carried to Gaius’ by Sir Kay, whereupon Arthur, hurriedly summoned from a meeting with his father, demanded every conceivable test be carried out.
~*~
Merlin fumbled a hand out blindly, managing to grip the back of a chair before sinking down into it. He couldn’t quite believe the words that had just come out of Gaius’ mouth. He didn’t want to believe them because, if Gaius was right and they were true, he didn’t know what he was going to do. Arthur had sent him to the physician after being concerned that Merlin was looking exhausted and had been throwing up a considerable amount of the meals that he had been consuming, more than Arthur was comfortable with; he had been heard to complain that Merlin was getting skinnier than ever, something that shouldn’t be physically possible. The Crown Prince had been adamant that Merlin visit Gaius in an attempt to seek an explanation for his illness but, originally, Merlin had brushed off his concerns, simply stating that he was trying to adapt to his new duties as Arthur’s consort. His excuses had been believable, considering the fact that they had only recently married (and been forced to consummate said marriage) and that, as a result of their marriage, Uther had been passing more duties onto Arthur and Merlin. However, when the symptoms failed to disappear after a month, Arthur had forced Merlin to see Gaius and had stood there, arms crossed over his chest, as Merlin submitted to a whole battery of tests and questions.
Now, he had been given the results of said tests (without Arthur who hadn’t been able to miss another afternoon) and couldn’t quite believe what he had been told. He had been expecting Gaius to confirm what he had self-diagnosed; that Merlin was exhausted and the symptoms had simply manifested themselves physically. He hadn’t been expecting this, not in the slightest. Taking deep breaths until he no longer felt like he was going to pass out as a result of shock, he got to his feet, ignoring his mum and Gaius’ attempts to make him stay seated.
“How am I going to explain this to Arthur?” Merlin paced up and down his mother’s chambers, ignoring both her and Gaius’ attempts to get him to stand still, “How are we going to explain this to Uther? I’m pregnant!” Merlin paced up and down a bit more, raking his hands through his hair as he did so, “Gaius, are you absolutely positive that I’m pregnant? There can’t be a mistake?”
“As positive as I can be my boy. There’s obviously no guarantee but all of the symptoms fit and your mother agrees with me. We estimate, given from what you’ve told us, you’re about six weeks pregnant.”
“But, but … I’m a man!” Merlin practically wailed.
“Of course you’re a man, there’s no disputing that. However, you are also the most powerful warlock that has ever lived and that must have something to do with it. None of us know the extent of your powers so why should any of us have expected you to be capable of something like this?”
“But what about Uther? What do I tell him?”
Hunith reached out and pulled Merlin down to sit next to her, wrapping her arms around him with a smile as he practically collapsed against her. Smoothing Merlin’s hair back, she pressed a kiss to his forehead before framing his face with her hands.
“You let us worry about what we’re going to tell Uther. You focus on the important thing; telling your husband. This may be unexpected but you have been blessed. It is a time of joy, you focus on that.”
“Is it a joy though?” Merlin winced as he felt his mum pull back. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I’m married to my best friend which is great. If you ignore the fact that I’ve been in love with him forever and we’re only married because I offered to marry him in name only so that he could be married to somebody he actually liked.” Merlin was starting to get agitated again. “And obviously, Arthur manages to get me pregnant even though we’ve only slept together once because he’s Arthur bloody Pendragon.”
Merlin seemed to deflate when he had finished his rant, looking sorrowfully at his mother. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to, I just …”
“I know Merlin, it’s fine. You need to have a long conversation with Arthur. You need to tell him about the pregnancy but you need to tell him everything as well. Tell him how you feel. I promise that it will turn out for the best. There’s a lot of things that you don’t know. If you go now then he’ll just be finishing training with the knights and I’ll send dinner to your rooms so you won’t be disturbed.”
Merlin nodded and leant in to kiss his mother on the cheek. “Okay, I’ll give it a go. It can’t be any worse than the ‘I’ve got magic’ conversation can it? Thank you Uncle Gaius.”
“Not a problem, my boy. I’ll bring some things along in the morning that should help with the sickness at least. I doubt that either of you will want disturbing later.”
continued in part 2
Author/Artist: vix_spes
Prompt: Arthur has to the age of ? to get married. He asks his best friend to marry him in name only. They end up falling in love and having sex (or maybe they’ve always been secretly in love) or maybe they are forced to prove they have consummated the relationship. But when they do and Merlin gets pregnant - it complicates matters entirely!
Pairing(s): Arthur/Merlin with mentioned Gwaine/Morgana
Word Count/Art Medium: c.15,900
Rating: R
Contains: None
Disclaimer:Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Huge thanks to blue_eyed_1987 for beta-ing … all remaining mistakes are my own and thedragonsinger for cheerleading. Set during the canon era but AU as Merlin and Hunith have always lived in Camelot, Morgana isn’t Uther’s daughter and very few of the recognisable knights exist.
Summary: They agreed to get married as friends, promising themselves that they would hide their true feelings. But true feelings can never remain silent…
~*~
Eighteen years ago…
“He’s so little…” Camelot’s young prince, barely three and a half years old himself, looked on in amazement at his new nanny’s young son.
“He is, but that it is to be expected Prince Arthur; Merlin is only a few months old. I have it on good authority that you were nearly as small when you were the same age.”
Hunith watched with a soft smile on her face as Arthur’s face, still chubby with baby fat, was wreathed in smiles as he held out a finger and it was immediately grasped in Merlin’s iron grip.
“He’s strong!” Arthur marvelled and then giggled as Merlin dragged his finger, still encased in Merlin’s fist, into his mouth.
“He is and he obviously likes you.”
“I like him too. We’re going to be best friends and nothing will split us up. Ever.”
Hunith couldn’t help but laugh at that. Really, Prince Arthur could be awfully sweet when he wanted to be and other than a couple of minor tantrums, which had been easily resolved, she had seen no evidence of the brat that people had told her about.
“That’s a lovely idea Arthur but it can’t happen. You’re the Prince of Camelot; your father is going to want you to marry a Princess or a Lady someday and then you’ll be King.”
“Why a Princess or a Lady? They’re boring.”
“That’s what’s expected of you.”
“Can’t I marry Merlin instead?”
Hunith didn’t have the heart to tell Arthur ‘no’; not when he seemed so happy babbling about how he would marry Merlin and then they could be together forever.
~*~
Nine years ago….
Merlin squeaked as he was nearly squashed by Arthur flopping down on top of him, the noise causing enough of a disturbance that they froze immediately for fear of being caught. Their antics drew the gaze of a suspicious stable boy but they obviously ducked down enough that he couldn’t see them. The minute that he was occupied, Merlin turned to Arthur and glared as best as he was able.
“Arthur! What do you think you’re doing? Aren’t you supposed to be down there with your father greeting the new guests?”
“It’s only old Gorlois and his daughter Morgana; it doesn’t matter if I’m there or not.”
Merlin shot him a sideways glance, not entirely believing the latter part of the sentence but willing to let it slide. “Isn’t Morgana the one who beat you at swordplay last time they were here?” He did his best not to grin as Arthur scowled at him.
“Can we not talk about that Merlin.”
“Whatever you say Arthur,” Merlin was silent for a while before he piped up again. “Aren’t there quite a few lords and Kings here with their daughters at the moment?”
His question was received with silence from Arthur and Merlin looked over several minutes later. “Arthur?”
“Father is meeting with them to discuss the possibility of my marrying one of them.”
“But, but you don’t know any of them. How can you be in love with them?”
“I don’t have to love them Merlin, I’m the Crown Prince of Camelot. Father says that I have to marry to ensure that the Pendragon’s continue to rule Camelot.”
“But that’s so unfair!” Merlin’s bottom lip was quivering in outrage. “You should be able to marry someone that you like. Do you never imagine who you’re going to marry?” Merlin looked confused as Arthur burst out laughing. “Why are you laughing Arthur?”
“Do you know who I always said that I was going to marry Merlin? You. When you were born, I said that we would be friends forever, that nothing was ever going to split us up. Your mum laughed at me and said I was very sweet but that wasn’t possible because we’d have to marry other people eventually. I said that I would just marry you.”
Merlin’s head whipped around so fast that Arthur was amazed that he didn’t break his neck. “What?”
“When I was about five, maybe even younger, I was convinced that I would marry you.”
There was a long pause and Arthur was afraid that he’d pushed Merlin away before Merlin finally spoke.
“Why don’t you marry me?”
“What?”
“Why don’t you marry? At least then you would be married to someone that you like, even if we don’t love each other like that.”
“How would it work though?”
“Well, how about if you haven’t found a princess or a lady that you can love by the time your father makes you his heir officially then we’ll get married.”
“Isn’t that unfair on you though?”
Merlin just shrugged and blushed to the tips of his ears as Arthur gave him a one-armed hug.
Later that day, when he had been discovered hiding and was supposed to be having his lessons in swordplay, Arthur couldn’t help but replay the conversation that he had had with Merlin over and over again. He could have kicked himself for having brought up the whole marriage subject with Merlin but then somehow it had taken a turn for the better. In fact, he couldn’t believe the turn that it had taken; he couldn’t have imagined it better. Merlin, his Merlin (because Arthur was nothing but possessive), had said that if Arthur hadn’t fallen in love with someone and wanted to marry them by the time he was named Crown Prince then Merlin would marry him. All Arthur had to do was ensure that, when the time came, Merlin did marry him.
Recently, Arthur, along with several other lads of a similar age from noble families who were being fostered in Camelot, had reached a certain age where they had been forced to endure a rather awkward and uncomfortable lecture from Gaius. All of them still shuddered at the thought of it but it had been necessary. They had been aware of the fact that their bodies were changing and that they were starting to take an interest in the opposite sex (Bess the laundry maid was a popular choice) for some time and it had been beneficial for them to hear something other than the ribald commentary from the older knights. Still, as attractive as Bess was, she didn’t tickle Arthur’s fancy. He found his eyes drawn more towards the older fosterlings more than any of the buxom laundry maids or tavern wenches. His eyes were actually drawn to Merlin more than anybody else and, when he started waking with sticky sheets and flushed with the memories of his dreams, it had been Merlin who had been the starring character.
The only downside was that Arthur was fairly certain that Merlin had only offered to marry him out of friendship rather than love. That wasn’t the end of the world though; they were still only young. Arthur had plenty of time to get Merlin to fall in love with him.
~*~
Present day…
“Merlin? Are you in here?” Arthur poked his head around the door of Gaius’ chamber, hoping that his errant best friend would be hiding in his mentor’s workroom, wrinkling his nose at the smell. Even after so many years hanging around in this very room, he still wasn’t used to the scents in the air.
“Arthur?” Merlin’s head popped up from behind a workbench in the far corner. “What brings you down here?”
“I need to talk to you about something important. Are you busy or can you go for a ride with me?”
“If you go and saddle the horses while I finish this then I can meet you down there and get away for a couple of hours. Does that work?”
“It does,” Arthur gave a relieved smile. “Thank you Merlin.” Despite his relief that he could talk to Merlin about this immediately, Arthur couldn’t help but feel nervous at the prospect of having this conversation with Merlin. It was all his father’s fault (and Morgana’s he supposed for having married Gwaine, the oldest son of the King Lot of Orkney). If only he hadn’t been born a prince; this would have been so much easier if he hadn’t.
***FLASHBACK***
“Father? You wanted to see me?” Arthur stepped into the throne room to see that his father was all alone, not surrounded by his usual gaggle of advisors.
“Arthur, yes come in. I need to talk to you.” Uther waited until Arthur had closed the door behind him and taken a seat in front of Uther before he spoke again. “Not that you’ve reached your twenty-first birthday and been crowned Crown Prince of Camelot, it’s time for you to take a wife. You will have until your twenty-second birthday to marry.”
“What? But … father!”
“You can protest all you like Arthur, I will not change my mind. This unwritten rule has held fast for many generations and it will not change now. I had married Ygraine by my twenty-second birthday and the same with my father and mother before me.”
“But…”
“You will be married by your twenty-second birthday and I will give you leave to choose your spouse. It’s just a shame that Morgana is married to that boy from Orkney; it would have been useful to have strengthened our alliance with Gorlois.”
As Uther’s musings tailed off, Arthur’s brain caught onto the particular wording that his father had used. “Father? Can I just clarify that you are allowing me to choose my own spouse?”
“Hmm? Yes, yes of course. I’m sorry Arthur; I have duties to attend to. We’ll talk later.”
Arthur stood and dipped his head, recognising the dismissal for what it was. His mind was already working at lightning speed to work within the parameters of his father’s vague language.
***END FLASHBACK***
Despite drifting off into a bit of a daydream, Arthur still had two horses saddled and ready to go, a saddlebag with skins of water and a few apples slung over the flanks of his horse, by the time that Merlin made it down to the stables. No doubt he had got caught up in another task and had assumed, quite rightly, that Arthur wouldn’t mind too much. With anybody else, Arthur would undoubtedly find it irritating but with Merlin it had never been anything but endearing. Then again, having grown up in Camelot, Merlin had always walked to the beat of his own drum. Neither of them spoke as they rode, simply riding automatically for a glade in the forest that they had considered to be theirs even since they had discovered it about ten years ago.
***FLASHBACK***
It had been one of those days. One of the days that came around every year without fail and a day that Arthur had dreaded ever since he was old enough to understand what it meant. The day in question was the day of Ygraine’s death. Arthur hated it because, not only was it the day that his mother died but, it also had a tendency to overshadow his birthday which was a mere one day prior. Arthur hated it. It wasn’t merely the fact that it overshadowed his birthday and, as a result, his father never wanted to celebrate Arthur’s birthday with him. It was the fact that he didn’t have a mother anymore and, for those days or week every year, he had a father who was even more distant than usual. He was better off now than he had been at first; at least now he had Hunith. Hunith was amazing. She told brilliant stories about knights and dragons, she gave wonderful hugs and she was the reason that Arthur now had Merlin but that was also the problem. Hunith was Merlin’s mum, not Arthur’s, and nothing was going to change that.
Another problem was that Arthur had no memories of his mother at all. Ygraine was just a fairytale to him. She had died one day after Arthur’s birth and very few people in Camelot dared to mention her for fear of angering Uther. And of course Ygraine’s family had blamed Uther (and indirectly Arthur) for her death, refusing to have any further contact with either of them. There were a couple of exceptions in Camelot who were willing to break Uther’s unofficial decree that Ygraine not be mentioned, notably Gaius, Geoffrey of Monmouth and two rather grizzled knights who had been Ygraine’s personal guards, Sir Bors and Sir Gereint. The only thing was, there was only so much that they could tell him. For more details, he would have to ask Uther.
It hadn’t gone well.
For all of his faults as a father, Uther had never hit Arthur, had never raised a hand to him. He had simply been distant and incapable of demonstrating his love and pride. This time, too wrapped in grief and depression that had been fuelled by a combination of too much time left alone with his thoughts and too much alcohol, while he hadn’t hit Arthur, Uther had raised his hand. Arthur hadn’t waited around any longer and had fled the room, running straight to Merlin. In what hadn’t been Arthur’s brightest idea, although in his defence he had only been ten years old, he had convinced Merlin to run away with him.
In reality, they hadn’t made it very far before they were exhausted, although they probably made it further than people would have expected a ten year old and a six and a half year old to get just by walking. They had made it as far as the glade before they had stopped, legs aching and desperate for water. The two of them had settled at the base of a tree, Merlin cuddling close as though he sense Arthur had needed the comfort. He had listened to Arthur talk himself out before the two of them simply fell asleep, not realising the uproar they had caused, finally being found by Sir Bors and Sir Gereint well after dusk. Since then, the glade had been their go-to place when they needed to escape from Camelot.
Quite simply, the glade was theirs.
***END FLASHBACK***
Once they had arrived at the glade, tethering the horses so that they could graze and settling themselves so that they were sat with their legs immersed up to their knees in the cool water, Merlin continued to stay quiet giving Arthur time to collect his thoughts before he spoke. That was just one of the things that Arthur loved about Merlin, and there were a lot more. Because therein lay yet another problem with this situation; Arthur was in love with Merlin and had been for a long time.
It was the reason that Arthur had made a point of ensuring that his father had said that he needed to take a spouse and not a wife. At least not after the first use of the word. Wife would mean that he had to marry some vapid princess or lady from amongst his father’s sycophantic cronies whilst spouse meant that he could marry merlin. Although Arthur couldn’t help but feel that, if Merlin agreed to this, he was essentially trapping Merlin into a marriage that he didn’t truly want to be a part of. The likelihood that Merlin could actually remember his offer was slim; they had only been children after all. The likelihood that Merlin loved Arthur or felt anything more than friendship was even slimmer, probably non-existent. Still, being married to Merlin who felt nothing for Arthur but friendship was better than marrying some woman that he couldn’t stand the sight of, even if he would feel horribly guilty. Not really knowing what to say in the slightest, never mind even start the conversation, Arthur did what he did best when it came to Merlin; he blurted everything out.
“Do you remember us having a conversation ten years ago when I said that I would have to marry whoever he wanted me to in order to forge alliances for Camelot?” Merlin made a soft noise of acknowledgment but Arthur ploughed ahead before he could really say anything properly. “I don’t suppose you remember that at the same time you also said that, should my father force me to get married, you would marry me?”
“Yes, I remember saying that but why are you bringing it up now? Arthur, what’s going on?”
“My father summoned me to the throne room this morning where he proceeded to inform me that I have until my next birthday to find myself a spouse as that is the Pendragon way.”
“I assume that spouse is the word that he specifically used seeing as you’re asking me?”
This was another thing that Arthur loved about Merlin; his ability to cut through the minutiae and get straight to the point. Arthur may call him an idiot quite a lot of the time and God knows, Merlin could play the role when he wanted to but the truth was that Merlin was far from being an idiot. He may not be of noble blood but, having grown up in Camelot as Arthur’s closest friend, he was a child of the court nonetheless. In fact, Arthur was convinced that Merlin was perfectly suited to the role of royal consort. It was only when Merlin punched him in the shoulder that Arthur realised he had gotten a bit too carried away imagining Merlin as the royal consort, especially if Merlin had chosen to resort to hitting Arthur; casual punches and headlocks were Arthur’s chosen ways of showing affection after years spent training with the knights, something that Merlin had always derided.
“What was that for?” He whined, rubbing his arm in the hope of getting some sympathy. He didn’t get any of course.
“Don’t be a girl Arthur, you’re always saying that Morgana hits harder than me.”
“Yeah well, Morgana hits harder than half of my knights. Gwaine’s a brave man to marry her; I wouldn’t want to.”
“I like her but you’re right, she is scary when she wants to be. Now, are you going to answer my question? Did your father specifically say spouse of did he say wife?”
“He definitely said spouse, the word wife was only mentioned once. The only other thing was that he was disappointed Morgana had already married Gwaine.”
There was a pause and Arthur knew that Merlin was running everything over in his head. The problem was, Arthur wasn’t good at waiting for answers; he had a tendency to babble. And that was exactly what he proceeded to do. Babble.
“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a proper marriage. I’m not going to force you into that. Well, it does have to be a proper marriage in that there would be a ceremony in Camelot in front of all of the nobles and you would be named royal consort. You’d have to attend sessions of court and a whole host of other things that would be expected of you. But, um, well, you wouldn’t be expected to um, you know, consummate the marriage. I wouldn’t expect that of you. It would be a marriage in name only. We’d be married but our relationship would stay exactly as it is now.”
Arthur wanted to say more, he needed to say more but he didn’t know what to say so he simply stayed silent. Finally, a smile appeared on Merlin’s face; the sincere one that, ninety percent of the time, was reserved for Arthur alone.
“In which case, Prince Arthur, I believe you have a question that you need to ask me.”
It took Arthur a few seconds to understand what Merlin had said and for it to sink in. Not caring that he wasn’t being particularly graceful, he scrambled to one knee and tried not to laugh at the shock in Merlin’s wide eyes.
“Merlin Emrys, would you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my royal consort?”
“Arthur Pendragon, it would be my pleasure.”
(~*~)
That evening, ensconced in the privacy of the little out-of-the-way chambers that had been his since he had grown too old to share his mothers and which had also been given to him by virtue of his position as apprentice to both Gaius and Geoffrey, Merlin proceeded to have a minor breakdown over what he had agreed to do. It wasn’t that he regretted agreeing to marry Arthur. Far from it. The problem was, Merlin didn’t know how he was going to deal with marrying Arthur and living within a marriage that was a marriage in name only. The problem lay in the fact that Merlin actually did love Arthur and loved him as more than a friend. In the privacy of his own rooms, in his dreams, Merlin had always fantasised about marrying Arthur Pendragon and becoming the Prince Consort of Camelot. What he hadn’t envisaged was that he would get what he wanted but without love being involved. Well, it was involved but it was platonic love only and not the deep-seated romantic and white-hot passionate love that Merlin had always dreamt about. Still, he supposed that what he was getting was better than nothing. All he had to do was tell his mother and Gaius which wasn’t going to be the easiest thing he had ever done. It could be worse though; he could be the one who had to tell the King.
~*~
“I’m sorry; I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Uther’s voice had taken on the quiet, deadly tone that spelled disaster for the recipient. Anybody else would be backtracking furiously while attempting to remove themself from Uther’s presence as quickly as possible. Arthur wasn’t anybody else though.
“Father, I specifically checked the wording with you when you told me that I was allowed to choose my own spouse. You stated emphatically that I was allowed to choose my own spouse and I have done precisely that. I have chosen Merlin.”
“But, but he’s a MAN!” Uther coughed and spluttered, his face turning a rather unflattering shade of purple. “How are you going to consummate the marriage and provide heirs to the throne? It is your duty to ensure that the Pendragon line will continue to sit on the throne of Camelot. I forbid you to marry that boy.”
“You can’t forbid me from marrying him Father. I will marry him with or without your approval; I am of age and, prince of Camelot or not, I do not need to ask your permission. There is nothing in the laws of Camelot that prevents either the King or any future King from marrying a man. I have proposed to Merlin and he has accepted. We shall start preparations immediately and be married by the summer solstice.”
Arthur didn’t bother to wait for his father to respond, he simply strode out of the hall intent on finding some of the knights in the hopes of taking out his frustrations on a couple of hapless new recruits. He had done as his father wanted over his own desires far too often in the past and he had no intentions of doing so now, even though it didn’t sit quite right with him.
He needed to get rid of his frustrations with a sword and then he needed to find Merlin.
~*~
Merlin looked at himself in the mirror as his mum and Gaius fussed around him and barely recognised the person staring back at him. Things seemed to have passed in a blur ever since news of the engagement between he and Arthur had been formally announced to the people of Camelot. Even though he had made the announcement himself, Uther still hadn’t been too happy about the fact that Arthur was marrying Merlin but Arthur had inherited his stubbornness from his father and had refused to back down from his decision despite the begging, threatening and attempted bribery from Uther. There had been grumbles of discontent from members of court as well, mostly cronies of Uther who were of the opinion that Arthur should be marrying a princess or a lady in order to strengthen Camelot’s alliances. Still, the news had been met with great delight amongst the friends of both Arthur and Merlin, the knights and the ordinary people of Camelot.
As soon as the announcement had been made, preparations for the ceremony began with both Arthur and Merlin doing their very best to stay out of the details unless they were asked for a definitive answer. They didn’t want a big ceremony or a huge celebration, even though both were expected as it was a Royal wedding because they knew the truth; this was as far from a real wedding as they could get. Their clothes had been taken care of by Morgana, who had swanned in from Orkney, a grinning Gwaine at her side, announcing that she wouldn’t miss this for the world. Every other detail had been taken care of by courtiers and overseen by Hunith who, even though she hadn’t completely agreed with Merlin’s reasoning, had supported he and Arthur all the way. She appeared at his shoulder now, wearing a new dress like nothing Merlin had ever seen her in but still very much his mum.
“It’s time. They’re ready for you.”
(~*~)
The ceremony and the feast that followed went past in a blur for Merlin. He didn’t remember giving his responses to the words Geoffrey spoke but judging by the kiss that he received from Arthur and the fact that a golden circlet very similar to Arthur’s rested on his brow, he had obviously said the correct words and he was now married Arthur.
There had been a lavish feast accompanied by prodigious amounts of alcohol, speeches from Uther and Leon, dancing and the same sort of entertainment that was seen at the Yule Feast. Merlin enjoyed himself, of course he did, as he sat next to his new husband at the top table and danced with him followed by Morgana, a cheekily grinning Gwaine and a whole host of others including his mother but there was a little voice in the back of his head that whispered he would enjoy this much more if this were a real wedding. As the newlyweds rose from the table in order to retire for the evening, a huge cacophony arose from the benches where Arthur’s knights were sat; wolf-whistles, catcalls, jeering, goblets knocked on the tables and foot stamping. Arthur took it good-naturedly, grinning widely and rolling his eyes at some of the more ribald comments from Gwaine but Merlin could feel himself blushing so much that his ears were bright red and his face was probably the same colour as the knights cloaks.
They could still hear the celebrations several corridors away as Merlin allowed himself to be tugged along by the grip that Arthur had on his hand. This was the part of the evening that Merlin had been dreading the most; the part where this was real, where he and Arthur were married and not only would they be sharing the rest of their lives together but they would be sharing a bed as well. They had a very awkward conversation about sleeping arrangements a while back and had discussed whether or not they could get away with not sharing a bed before realising that it would be too easy for them to get caught if they didn’t. They had come to the conclusion that they had no choice but to share a bed and they would just cope. After all, they had shared a bed plenty of times when they were younger and Arthur’s current four-poster bed was obscenely large.
What they hadn’t expected when they arrived at Arthur’s chambers was to be met by Uther and a select few of his inner council. When questioned, they were informed that, due to reservations about the marriage and the legitimacy of the feelings involved, the council would be present in the bedroom to ensure that the marriage was consummated and that said reservations could be laid to rest. Merlin was too shocked to say anything but Arthur protested vocally only to have all of his objections overruled with it being pointed out that it had been a precedent in years past, primarily to ensure that any heirs were genuine. Left with absolutely no choice, they entered the bedroom both of them unhappy with what they were about to be forced to do. Something that they had both hoped might happen one day was going to happen but not through their choice and not in a situation that they were comfortable. Instead of it being something private, something between the two of them, they were going to have an audience even though Arthur had managed to negotiate that they would have a modicum of privacy guaranteed by the sheer drapes surrounding Arthur’s bed.
Not too long after the marriage had been consummated, after they had been left in privacy at last by a satisfied council, the two of them lay curled together with Arthur’s arms wrapped around Merlin’s skinny shoulders. They had intended on spending the night on opposite sides of the bed but after what they had just been forced to go through, they both needed the company. As Merlin shuddered, Arthur instinctively pulled him closer, bending his head so that his mouth was near Merlin’s ear.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, it wasn’t your fault.”
“But…”
“It wasn’t your fault Arthur.”
What more could they say? None of this was going to plan. All they could do was hope that things didn’t get any worse.
~*~
In the wake of their marriage, Arthur’s duties had changed very little from what they had been previously. He was still in charge of the Knights of Camelot and trained with them every day as well as taking part in several patrols each week although the organisation of said patrols was left in Leon’s capable hands. In addition, there was some paperwork that his father expected him to take care of, he had council meetings to attend and open court to sit in on to hear petitions from the citizens of Camelot. All in all, for Arthur married life wasn’t very different to when he had been single except for, well, the fact that he was married.
For Merlin, it was a completely different story. He may have spent his whole life as Arthur’s best friend and closest confidante but in those roles he had been allowed to take a back seat and fly under the radar somewhat. He wasn’t a noble but then neither was he treated as a commoner either. All of that changed on the day that he and Arthur exchanged their marriage vows. Even though there wasn’t yet a true role for Merlin and neither would there be until Arthur took the throne as King of Camelot, he was still expected to learn.
For Merlin, that ended up being given a seat on several councils and sitting in on open court sessions with Arthur. Were he female, Merlin could expect to spend time with ladies-in-waiting doing needlework or whatever it was that women did (unless you were Morgana) but he was not and the offer for him to join the knights had been unequivocally shot down by both Merlin and Arthur. Both of them had been adamant that Merlin could handle a sword well enough; he no longer dropped it instantly and could defend himself adequately thanks to Leon being an infinitely more patient teacher than Arthur had been. He was never going to be the swordsman that Arthur was but that didn’t matter, that was what Arthur was for. It didn’t take long before a compromise was reached that even Uther was happy with. Merlin would attend open court and council meetings with Arthur as they had already agreed and the rest of his time would be split equally between Gaius and Geoffrey of Monmouth training in both of their professions as he had been for several years already. Both men would have to find new apprentices given that it was inevitable that Merlin would become Royal Consort with all that entailed at some point in the future. Still, it was better than him spending all of his days doing nothing much.
It was all going wonderfully well with very few mishaps until, several weeks after the wedding, Arthur started to be more than a little concerned about the health and well-being of his new spouse. Merlin had always been pale but now he was paler than blank parchment all of the time and he was always tired, practically falling asleep in his dinner on several occasions when he and Arthur dined privately in their chambers. When questioned about it, Merlin merely brushed it off saying that he was simply getting used to his new duties and that it would pass. Only it didn’t, it got worse. In addition to the pallid complexion and the fatigue, Merlin started feeling nauseous constantly and throwing up at all hours of the day. Still he refused Arthur’s requests that he go to Gaius. The symptoms had been occurring for a few weeks when the decision was taken out of Merlin’s hands when he fainted in the lower town and was carried to Gaius’ by Sir Kay, whereupon Arthur, hurriedly summoned from a meeting with his father, demanded every conceivable test be carried out.
~*~
Merlin fumbled a hand out blindly, managing to grip the back of a chair before sinking down into it. He couldn’t quite believe the words that had just come out of Gaius’ mouth. He didn’t want to believe them because, if Gaius was right and they were true, he didn’t know what he was going to do. Arthur had sent him to the physician after being concerned that Merlin was looking exhausted and had been throwing up a considerable amount of the meals that he had been consuming, more than Arthur was comfortable with; he had been heard to complain that Merlin was getting skinnier than ever, something that shouldn’t be physically possible. The Crown Prince had been adamant that Merlin visit Gaius in an attempt to seek an explanation for his illness but, originally, Merlin had brushed off his concerns, simply stating that he was trying to adapt to his new duties as Arthur’s consort. His excuses had been believable, considering the fact that they had only recently married (and been forced to consummate said marriage) and that, as a result of their marriage, Uther had been passing more duties onto Arthur and Merlin. However, when the symptoms failed to disappear after a month, Arthur had forced Merlin to see Gaius and had stood there, arms crossed over his chest, as Merlin submitted to a whole battery of tests and questions.
Now, he had been given the results of said tests (without Arthur who hadn’t been able to miss another afternoon) and couldn’t quite believe what he had been told. He had been expecting Gaius to confirm what he had self-diagnosed; that Merlin was exhausted and the symptoms had simply manifested themselves physically. He hadn’t been expecting this, not in the slightest. Taking deep breaths until he no longer felt like he was going to pass out as a result of shock, he got to his feet, ignoring his mum and Gaius’ attempts to make him stay seated.
“How am I going to explain this to Arthur?” Merlin paced up and down his mother’s chambers, ignoring both her and Gaius’ attempts to get him to stand still, “How are we going to explain this to Uther? I’m pregnant!” Merlin paced up and down a bit more, raking his hands through his hair as he did so, “Gaius, are you absolutely positive that I’m pregnant? There can’t be a mistake?”
“As positive as I can be my boy. There’s obviously no guarantee but all of the symptoms fit and your mother agrees with me. We estimate, given from what you’ve told us, you’re about six weeks pregnant.”
“But, but … I’m a man!” Merlin practically wailed.
“Of course you’re a man, there’s no disputing that. However, you are also the most powerful warlock that has ever lived and that must have something to do with it. None of us know the extent of your powers so why should any of us have expected you to be capable of something like this?”
“But what about Uther? What do I tell him?”
Hunith reached out and pulled Merlin down to sit next to her, wrapping her arms around him with a smile as he practically collapsed against her. Smoothing Merlin’s hair back, she pressed a kiss to his forehead before framing his face with her hands.
“You let us worry about what we’re going to tell Uther. You focus on the important thing; telling your husband. This may be unexpected but you have been blessed. It is a time of joy, you focus on that.”
“Is it a joy though?” Merlin winced as he felt his mum pull back. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I’m married to my best friend which is great. If you ignore the fact that I’ve been in love with him forever and we’re only married because I offered to marry him in name only so that he could be married to somebody he actually liked.” Merlin was starting to get agitated again. “And obviously, Arthur manages to get me pregnant even though we’ve only slept together once because he’s Arthur bloody Pendragon.”
Merlin seemed to deflate when he had finished his rant, looking sorrowfully at his mother. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to, I just …”
“I know Merlin, it’s fine. You need to have a long conversation with Arthur. You need to tell him about the pregnancy but you need to tell him everything as well. Tell him how you feel. I promise that it will turn out for the best. There’s a lot of things that you don’t know. If you go now then he’ll just be finishing training with the knights and I’ll send dinner to your rooms so you won’t be disturbed.”
Merlin nodded and leant in to kiss his mother on the cheek. “Okay, I’ll give it a go. It can’t be any worse than the ‘I’ve got magic’ conversation can it? Thank you Uncle Gaius.”
“Not a problem, my boy. I’ll bring some things along in the morning that should help with the sickness at least. I doubt that either of you will want disturbing later.”
continued in part 2