[FIC] Read All About It - Part II (Arthur/Merlin; PG)
The next morning, Merlin complains about being cold anyway, but he also makes Arthur a coffee, so Arthur doesn’t mind too much. They consider going out on another ‘date’ to give the paparazzi something to do and the magazines something to pad their forthcoming editions with, but Merlin’s still feeling the after effects of being kidnapped by Morgana and they decide camera flashes are not the best cure for a hangover.
So they stay at Arthur’s instead. Arthur makes Merlin a fry up to keep him quiet when he whines too loudly about his hangover. He gets his revenge when they decide to put a film. Arthur digs up one of Merlin’s early films and forces him to watch it, just so he can see him squirm.
Merlin seems to take to Arthur’s flat and over the next few months ends up spending time there whenever they decide they can’t face the press (which is often, Merlin really hates the paparazzi). When they do feel prepared to face the mob that will inevitably surround Merlin, they make sure to go out armed with their best fake grins and matching outfits. They go to restaurants, cinemas, and even have picnics in the park. In short, any romantic cliché they can think of.
The press lap it up, and Gwen even comes into the shop one day brandishing an article which proclaims them ‘Britain’s cutest couple’. She’s forced to call Merlin when the amount of times Arthur hits his head against the counter becomes worrying.
Merlin also makes sure to kiss Arthur whenever there’s a camera in sight. Which is fine, really Arthur doesn’t have a problem with it. He knows it’s meaningless, and who doesn’t like meaningless kisses? Meaningless kisses are brilliant. He signed up to be Merlin’s fake boyfriend, and that means he has to live with the consequences, including nosy reporters, invasive paparazzi, jealous fans, and meaningless kisses.
It’s not as if Arthur actually wants them to mean something. That’s what he tells himself anyway, but as the weeks pass and he spends more and more time with Merlin, it gets harder and harder to do so. After a while, he stops pretending that he doesn’t look forward to Merlin’s visits to his shop and that the best part of his day isn’t when Merlin smiles at him. He gives in and accepts the fact that he’s fallen head over heels for his celebrity fake boyfriend.
By the time the release date for Merlin’s film comes around, Arthur’s giving serious consideration to running away and becoming a monk, preferable somewhere in the Himalayas. Far away from paparazzi and magazines and stupidly lovable film stars who Arthur can’t seem to get over his feelings for.
“If I recall correctly, this is my first premier, not yours. Shouldn’t you be the one comforting me?” Arthur asks, as he watches Merlin bounce up and down in his seat.
Arthur thinks Merlin should probably give more thought to the way his nails are digging into the expensive leather. He doesn’t know how much the limo they’re sitting in cost (he’s not sure he wants to) but he knows it’s enough that any damage to it won’t be looked upon kindly.
“I don’t need comforting!”
“Are you sure?” Arthur asks, raising a sceptical eyebrow. “You seem to be shaking.”
“I’m excited. That’s all, not nervous. Definitely not nervous. Why would I be nervous? No, I’m not nervous at all.”
“Merlin.” Arthur says calmly.
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
Surprisingly, Merlin does. Arthur supposes that’s proof of just how nervous Merlin really is. He still looks like he wants to argue back, he wouldn’t be Merlin if he didn’t, but he also looks like he’s waiting to hear what Arthur is going to say next. Which is a problem, because Arthur doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say next himself. He hadn’t thought past getting Merlin to stop talking.
“How many of these premiers have you been to? A lot, right?” He doesn’t add that he knew the exact number having looked it up immediately after Merlin had asked him to be his date for the night; it’s best to be informed after all.
Merlin opens his mouth to answer but Arthur doesn’t let him get a single word out.
“The point is, you’ve done this before and nobody has died-”
“Well there was that time with the fire extinguisher and the horse.” Merlin interrupts and then, after seeing Arthur’s horrified look, hastily adds, “But don’t worry, nobody died, they were just…maimed a little.”
“How can...” Arthur starts, before deciding that he’s probably better off not knowing. “Would you just listen to me? I’m trying to tell you that you’ve done this before, so you can do this again.”
Merlin stares at him.
“That was the worst pep talk ever.” He says eventually, but he’s smiling and he’s stopped shaking, so Arthur counts it as a victory.
“It was a brilliant pep talk. Anyway, we don’t have time to argue about this. We’ve arrived.”
“Oh.”
Arthur grins, feeling smug and just a little proud that he’s managed to get Merlin safely to the premier with no vomiting whatsoever, which had been a serious concern - Merlin’s agent had rung Arthur before they got into the limo to warn him.
“See, you should listen to me, I do know what I’m doing.”
“Arthur?”
“Yes, Merlin?”
“Shut up.”
“Hey that’s my line.” Arthur cries indignantly.
However, he doesn’t get a chance to say anything more because at that moment chauffeur opens the limousine door and he’s suddenly blinded by the flashing of cameras and the clamouring of both reporters and fans.
Merlin exits the limousine first and Arthur has to physically shake himself in order to not remain sat inside, gaping like an idiot. He jumps out after Merlin, who pulls him to his side as soon as he’s out of the car. Merlin wraps his arm around Arthur’s waist and grips his hip like a vice.
“Easy there, Merlin.” He whispers. “You’re going to break something.”
“Sorry!” Merlin whispers back, loosening his grip slightly, but not letting go.
They make their way down the red carpet excruciatingly slowly. They have to stop almost as soon as they start to pose for photographs, where the leers of the photographers make Arthur feel like a piece of particularly tasty meat. Then, they reach the section where the fans are crowded up against the barriers on either side. Merlin’s brave enough to let go of Arthur to go and greet his fans, so Arthur’s no longer in pain at least, but Merlin insists on signing an autograph for every fan he can reach, so by the time Merlin returns to his side, Arthur can no longer feel his fingers (he mentally curses whoever decided to hold the film premier in November).
He also feels decidedly out of place. Everyone seems to know what they’re doing, even the fans seem confident in their shrieking and flailing, but he’s been shoved to the side and left feeling useless. The feeling isn’t helped by the knowledge that he soon will be as good as useless to Merlin. He hasn’t forgotten what Merlin said when he was trying to convince Arthur that pretending to be his boyfriend was a good idea. It would just be until my newest film comes out, and I really need some good publicity. Well, Merlin’s newest film is out and he’s most definitely got some good publicity. Which means Arthur’s done his job and after tonight Merlin has no need of him.
Arthur fakes a smile when Merlin wraps his arm around his waist and then tries to keep it there when it turns a vice-like grip once again.
“Merlin, didn’t we just have this conversation?” He whispers, hoping to everyone around them it looks like he’s saying something terribly sweet and romantic. “For this to work, I need to be alive and preferably broken-bone free.”
“Sorry! It’s just…” Merlin trailed off and Arthur followed his line of sight to where the crowd of reporters began.
Arthur had heard enough of Merlin’s rants to know he absolutely loathed interviews. He supposed being forced to do a dozen in a row must be Merlin’s worst nightmare. He tried to smile sympathetically but had a feeling it came out more like a grimace.
“It’ll be fine.” He tried instead.
“Easy for you to say, you don’t have to talk to them.”
“I’m trying to be comforting here, Merlin. Give me some credit.”
“Haven’t we already established that you’re terrible at being comforting?”
“Yes, and I am. But what I am good at is distraction. Look, we’re at the first interviewer.”
“What- Oh.” Merlin looks around in panic for a second as he realises that Arthur had been subtly steering him towards the reporters as they spoke. He pastes a blinding grin on his face for the reporter, a small blonde woman who appears far too cheerful for someone who must have been standing in the cold for hours on end, whilst somehow managing to glare at Arthur at the same time.
Merlin’s still gripping Arthur with far too much strength, but Arthur can’t help but grin at the way Merlin blushes and stumbles his way through the interview and still manages to completely charm the reporter. Merlin becomes more confident as he gets through more and more interviews with no major mishaps. By the time they leave the reporters behind, Merlin’s smile is completely genuine and Arthur’s certain that he’s no longer in danger of fainting, however Merlin still hasn’t let go of Arthur.
It somehow makes it harder for Arthur, having Merlin so close, pretending to care for him. It makes it easy for Arthur to almost believe it’s real. It’s like being drenched with cold water every time he reminds himself it’s not, and he’s glad when they finally make it inside to watch Merlin’s film, where no one is watching him and he has space to breathe.
Arthur manages to lose himself in the action on screen for the duration of the film. It’s a gritty war drama and Merlin’s performance is heartbreakingly beautiful. He tries to tell Merlin so when the leave the screening, but Merlin seems to have been watching an entirely different film to Arthur.
“I was terrible wasn’t I?” He babbles, he’s shaking again and his eyes are wide and panicked. “That was nowhere near believable, I think it was actually the worst performance of my life and I’ve given some terrible performances, believe me.”
“Merlin.” Arthur tries to interrupt, but Merlin’s too far gone in his ranting to listen to him.
“Oh God. I’ve just ruined my career, haven’t I?” Merlin continues. “No one’s ever going to hire me again. I’m going to have to do adverts in Japan for flavoured water!”
“Merlin!” Arthur yells in frustration. He grabs Merlin by the shoulders and spins him around so that they’re face to face. “Listen carefully, because I’m only going to say this once. It was brilliant. You were incredible and if you don’t win another Oscar for that, there’s something wrong with the world.”
Merlin squirms slightly, but Arthur doesn’t let go of his shoulders.
“I don’t think-”
Arthur cuts Merlin off before he can even finish his sentence. “Well I do.”
Merlin looks like he’s about to argue, so Arthur does the only thing that seems logical in the moment and kisses him, not stopping to think about what he’s doing or the consequences of it. He’s sure he hears someone ‘aww’ at them, but decides that kissing Merlin is by far preferable to turning to check and ignores them.
“Arthur!”
Someone calls and Arthur looks up from his book to scan the coffee shop for the source of the voice. He finds it is Cenred, who is making his way towards him, weaving through tables and chairs to reach where Arthur is holed away in the corner.
Arthur hasn’t seen Cenred since they broke up, months before he met Merlin. Sometimes he misses him, but then he remembers what an utter bastard Cenred can be and promptly gets over it. However, as Cenred reaches his table, he’s surprised by the wave of longing he feels. He soon realises that it isn’t longing for Cenred (which he is somewhat relieved by) but for what they had, a real relationship.
He knows what he and Merlin have will never be real and he’s resigned himself to that, but he can’t help the idle daydreams he catches himself indulging in. He knows that it will make it all the more painful when Merlin decides their deal is over, which is likely to be soon. That’s partly why he came to the café, he’s not hiding. Really, he’s not. It’s just that he knows if Merlin’s going to look for him, it will be at the shop, so he’s made a strategic retreat for the duration of Gwen’s shift.
“I hear you’re doing well for yourself.” Cenred says, taking the seat across from Arthur.
“Well, business at the shop’s picked up a lot lately, so yeah I’m doing well.”
Cenred laughs, giving Arthur the patronising smile he’d always hated so much when they were together.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Arthur. We both know that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?” Arthur asks, knowing full well what Cenred means, but hoping that he’s wrong.
“Your film star boyfriend of course!” Cenred exclaims.
Arthur shushes him, noting the way heads are turning in their direction.
“I don’t want to talk about that.” Arthur says, feeling uncomfortable. He knows it seems exciting, but wonders if everyone he knows really needs to bring it up every time they see him. The lying becomes exhausting after a while, not to mention confusing.
“Trouble in paradise?”
Cenred sounds snide and a little smug; it makes Arthur want to punch him. He doesn’t though, instead he just shrugs and appeals to Cenred’s vanity by asking him inane questions about himself.
After that, it’s surprisingly easy to talk to Cenred, who reminds Arthur that’s he’s not always an insufferable git and that there was a reason Arthur liked him in the first place. He finds himself ignoring his book entirely in favour of spending an hour chatting with Cenred.
He doesn’t even consider leaving until he looks at his watch and realises it’s almost time for him to take over from Gwen at the shop.
He swears, jumping up from his seat. “I’m really sorry, I’ve got to go.”
Cenred stands and puts a hand on his arm.
“So do I, actually. But maybe we could do this again sometime?”
Arthur considers it, what harm could it do?
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
They leave the coffee shop together in companionable silence. When they’re standing on the pavement outside, Arthur hesitates, not knowing the best way to say goodbye to the ex-boyfriend he’s just spent the last hour chatting to. He’s about to opt for a safe, if slightly formal, handshake, when Cenred takes the issue out of Arthur’s hands.
Arthur barely has a chance to register what’s happening before Cenred’s lips are pressed against his own. Arthur’s surprised to say the least, and confused as well. His first instinct is to pull back, but he doesn’t act on it, because he realises Merlin is the main reason he doesn’t want to kiss Cenred. So, instead of moving back and walking away like he wants to do, he stubbornly kisses Cenred back. He refuses to let his fake boyfriend control his life.
It’s Cenred who breaks the kiss. He does so quickly and without a word, leaving Arthur standing there, bemused and alone. He stares after Cenred, until he realises he’s late for relieving Gwen of her shift. He hurries back to the shop, shaking his head slightly to clear it.
He doesn’t notice the flash of the camera from across the road.
Everything remains relatively normal in Arthur’s life until three days after his encounter with Cenred. He calls it an encounter because he has absolutely no idea what else to call it. It was undeniably strange. Come to think of it, he’s not entirely sure what Cenred was doing in the coffee shop, it’s nowhere near anywhere he normally goes. The only times he’d been there were when he was dating Arthur.
The only thing different is that Arthur hasn’t seen Merlin since the night of the premier. He hasn’t even received so much as a text message. It makes him realise just how used to Merlin’s presence in his life he’d become.
Before he can become too lost in his own thoughts, Gwen enters the shop.
“Good morning, Gwen.” He says cheerily.
Gwen glares at him. That’s odd, he doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly offensive lately.
“Is everything alright?” He asks.
Gwen remains silent.
Arthur watches her as she moves about the shop, adjusting paintings that are perfectly straight and brushing imaginary dust from spotlessly clean ornaments.
“Gwen, if you don’t tell me what I did, how am I supposed to apologise for it?”
Still glaring at him (and Arthur is deeply grateful that looks don’t have the power to physically hurt people, fatally or otherwise) Gwen stalks over. She wordlessly drops a glossy magazine on the counter and Arthur feels all the blood drain from his face. There, with almost the entire cover dedicated to them, are Arthur and Cenred.
“Oh.” Arthur says, because he’s not sure there’s an appropriate response to seeing a photograph of yourself kissing your ex-boyfriend on the cover of a gossip magazine, when you’re supposed to be pretending to date a world famous actor.
“Oh? Is that all you can say?” Gwen cries, apparently breaking her silence in favour of yelling at Arthur.
“Well what would you like me to say?” Arthur asks, helplessly.
He knows he shouldn’t be mad at Gwen, he knows it’s his fault for not telling her the truth, but that still doesn’t ease his sense of injustice at the situation. No matter how much they may pretend, Merlin is not his boyfriend. Which means Arthur hasn’t cheated on him. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He knows this, and Merlin knows this, but unfortunately for him nobody else does.
The enormity of the situation crashes down on him. He hadn’t been wrong when he’d called Merlin the nation’s sweetheart, and now the entire country thinks Arthur cheated on him.
“I’d like you to explain to me why you cheated on Merlin!”
Arthur sighs. He’s tired of lying, and who better to tell the truth to than Gwen?
“I didn’t.” He says.
Gwen narrows her eyes and gestures to the magazine. “I think it’s quite clear that you did.”
“No, I...” He begins, stopping when he realises he has absolutely no idea how to explain this whole mess.
Gwen has now gone from looking furious to concerned at Arthur’s hesitation.
“It might be best if we did this in the back,” Arthur says. “You’re probably going to want to sit down.”
Half an hour later Gwen has resumed her plan to not speak to Arthur.
She stomps around the shop, angrily tidying up a mess that isn’t there so that she has an excuse not to look at Arthur. Not that Arthur thinks she needs one. He feels lucky she didn’t hit him, although he supposes he’ll get that from Morgana later. He flinches just thinking about it; he should have talked her out of those boxing lessons when he’d had the chance.
“Gwen...” Arthur begins, but stops when he realises that he has no idea what he wants to say next.
Gwen is still glaring at him but she seems to have reached the stage where anger turns into disappointment, and she appears to be wondering what Arthur is going to say next. Arthur is wondering the same thing, frantically searching for something that will make the situation better.
In the end, neither of them find out what he would have said, as they’re distracted by an egg smashing against the window at high speed.
“What the hell was that?” Arthur exclaims.
Gwen gives him a look that Arthur can’t quite decipher, but probably means ‘I’m still mad at you, but I’m going to pretend I’m not long enough to explain why you’re an idiot’.
“I can’t be sure,” She says, “but it sounds like Merlin’s fans have arrived.”
“What?!” He rushes to the door to see, and most probably shout at, these people who’ve decided his shop would look better decorated with egg.
Gwen steps forwards and reaches out to stop him before he can even get close to the door.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She says calmly, although Arthur thinks she looks far more amused than the situations warrants.
“I can’t just let those hooligans vandalise my shop!” He says, gesturing wildly towards the door.
At that moment, another egg hits the window. Gwen raises an eyebrow at him and Arthur tells himself that she does not look smug, because Gwen is far too nice to enjoy his suffering. He starts forward again, but Gwen continues to block his way.
“Arthur, if you go out there, they’re going to throw those eggs at you. And as handsome as you are, I don’t think you can pull off the ‘covered in egg’ look.”
Arthur splutters, turning away from Gwen so he can pace the shop floor. “This is insane!”
“So is pretending to date a celebrity to make money.” Gwen mutters, but she’s stopped glaring at him and seems at least mildly sympathetic, which Arthur is grateful for.
He stops and braces his hand on the counter, facing away from Gwen so she can’t see just how much he agrees with her.
“I know that, but I-” He’s cut off by another egg splattering against the window.
“Oh. I’ve had enough of this.” Arthur growls, marching to the back room to find his mobile.
There’s only one thing for it. He has to call Merlin.
He doesn’t call Merlin. It turns out he doesn’t need to because, before he can dial the number, someone taps him on the shoulder.
When he turns around he sees Merlin standing directly behind him. He jumps backwards, startled.
“How did you get in here?”
“Through the door. How else?”
“No, I mean, how did you get past your fan club out there?”
“Oh. That was easy.” Merlin says, holding up a very long and very white fake beard.
“Are you telling me that actually worked?”
“Of course it worked, I’m standing here aren’t I?” Merlin says, as if there is nothing odd about using the world’s worst fake beard to sneak past a legion of your fans.
“Yes, but…” Arthur trails off. Either Merlin’s a master of disguise, or his fans are incredibly stupid; however, he has much more important things to do than work out which it is, so for now it will have to remain a mystery.
Merlin seems to agree, because he doesn’t give Arthur a chance to say anything else. “That doesn’t matter anyway! That’s not why I’m here.”
“I should hope not.” Arthur says. “I hope you’re here to sort out this mess you’ve gotten us into.”
Merlin looks outraged. “Me?! This is your fault.”
“It is not my fault.”
“You cheated on me!” Merlin yells.
Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Merlin, I’m your fake boyfriend. How could I possibly have cheated on you?”
He can practically see the cogs turning in Merlin’s brain as he ponders the logic of the statement.
“Fine then, you fake cheated on me!”
Arthur’s mouth drops open. He closes it then opens it again, then closes it again, trying to come up with a response.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” He eventually splutters.
“It doesn’t have to make sense. The point is, you kissed someone else and it ended up on the cover of a magazine.” Merlin says.
Arthur doesn’t say anything, he can hardly argue with what Merlin’s said. It’s true, after all. The evidence is still sat on the counter in the shop.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Merlin asks, looking furious, but also lost enough that Arthur feels the full force of the guilt that’s been lurking underneath the anger ever since Gwen showed him the magazine,
“I’m sorry, alright. I didn’t know that anyone was watching us.” Arthur pauses thinking about it; that street is normally close to empty and most days anyone who was there would be the type to ignore them rather than snap a photo for the press. It suddenly clicks and he startles Merlin when he yells out. “That bastard!”
Merlin stares at him as if he’s gone mad.
“Cenred.” Arthur clarifies. “He set me up. I knew there was something odd about him that day but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”
“As fascinating as that is.” Merlin says, in a tone that implies the exact opposite. “It still doesn’t change anything.”
“I know that! If anything it just makes me feel worse for allowing myself to be tricked like that.”
He doesn’t tell Merlin the reasons he’d fallen into Cenred’s trap, he knows he couldn’t bear to see Merlin’s response which would inevitably be pity and, knowing Merlin, some attempt to be comforting.
Merlin still looks furious with Arthur, but his expression has softened slightly and Arthur is convinced that no one will be dying any time soon. Which is why he decides it’s the best opportunity he’s going to get to ask for something he knows is probably only going to make the situation worse.
“Merlin, you have to know this isn’t what I was expecting when agreed to do this.” He says, as calmly as he can manage. “I can’t let this go on, I need you to tell everyone the truth.”
Merlin shakes his head furiously. “I can’t.”
“You have to.” Arthur replies, already knowing this is going to be a battle of stubborn wills between them.
“It would completely destroy my reputation!” Merlin says, proving Arthur right.
“And what about my reputation? Everyone hates me because of you. There are people throwing eggs at my window. Eggs, Merlin!”
“What a waste of eggs.”
“Merlin!”
“I’m sorry, but this could completely ruin my career. And, since you’ve apparently forgotten, my career was the whole reason I asked you to do this in the first place.”
“I know that. Of course I know that!”
“Well, you seemed to forget it long enough to kiss your ex.”
“I didn’t forget!” Arthur shouts back and then he freezes and has to resist the urge to clap his hand over his mouth.
Merlin’s eyes widen and he looks angrier than ever.
“You didn’t forget? What’s that supposed to mean, did you kiss him on purpose? Was it some bizarre way of letting me know you wanted to end this?”
“That’s absurd!”
“Well excuse me for not being able to make sense of every ridiculous thing you say.”
“Why are you even here anyway?” Arthur asks. “Shouldn’t you be off slandering me to the press and playing the victim?”
Merlin looks like he’s been slapped.
“You know.” He says, with forced casualty. “I really thought you had a higher opinion of me than that.”
He looks straight into Arthur’s eyes and Arthur finds himself unable to look away. Merlin seems angrier now than he has been for the entirety of their conversation.
“I’m here because I care about you, and because I thought you cared about me as well.”
Arthur gapes at him, dumbfounded. He’s sure he’s going to have to physically rescue his chin from the floor. He could be wrong, Merlin could mean something entirely different, but judging by the stubborn set of Merlin’s jaw and the resolve in his eyes, Arthur’s pretty certain he’s right about this. He manages to form words after his mind screams at him to say something, but even then it’s no more coherent than a shaky “What?”
“I know it’s ridiculous.” Merlin says hastily. “I mean, it sounds like the plot of the crappy rom-com script I got sent last week. But I can’t help it and I thought, maybe… Well, at the premier, you kissed me. You’ve never done that before, it’s always me kissing you and I thought that maybe it was a sign that you had feelings for me as well.”
Merlin looks away from Arthur then, and Arthur can tell that he’s trying not to sound hopeful at all. Even though Merlin can’t see him, Arthur continues to stare at him. Merlin is one of the few people in the world who can render him speechless, and unfortunately Merlin has the innate ability to do it at the worst possible times.
So Arthur does what he always does in situations where he has absolutely no clue what is happening: he tries to get by on sheer obnoxiousness.
“You didn’t think to tell me this sooner?” He says and sees Merlin’s eyes fly to his.
“Would it have mattered if I had?” Merlin asks warily.
“Yes!” Arthur says with far more passion than he’d intended. He blushes slightly but soldiers bravely onwards nevertheless. “It’s important to have all the facts in order to make a balanced judgement, otherwise a person is liable to make mistakes.”
“Mistakes such as kissing your ex when you have feelings for someone else?” Merlin asks and Arthur’s relieved enough that Merlin no longer seems to be angry with him that he doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that Merlin now seems to be enjoying this more than is appropriate.
“That would fall under that category, yes,” Arthur say stiffly.
Merlin considers it, making a great show of tapping his chin and wrinkling his forehead.
“So kissing Cenred, that was what exactly? A result of misinformation?”
“Something like that.” Arthur mutters.
“Why don’t you spell it out for me?” Merlin is grinning now, big and smug; he looks just a little deranged. “We wouldn’t want anyone to not have all the facts, now would we?”
Arthur scowls at Merlin. He knows there’s no way to get out of saying the words out loud, especially when Merlin, cheeky sod that he is, has used his own words against him.
“Alright. You win.” Arthur says, and when Merlin starts to look too smug adds. “Don’t get used to it.”
Merlin doesn’t even flinch, he just keeps staring at Arthur both smugly and expectantly.
Arthur takes a deep breath and tries to get the words out as quickly as possible.
“I kissed Cenred because for some unfathomable reason I find myself having feelings for you as well. However, up until around two minutes ago I thought those feelings were entirely unrequited. In short, I kissed Cenred because I thought I couldn’t have you.”
“Well then.” Merlin says. “Since I have all the facts, it appears it’s time for me to make an informed decision.”
“What-” Arthur starts to ask, but he doesn’t get a chance as suddenly Merlin is right there, kissing him like it’s the most important thing in the world.
When they break apart, he rests his forehead against Merlin’s and they grin at each other stupidly.
“Good decision.” Arthur says, a little breathlessly, before leaning back in for another kiss.
“You weren’t really mad about the fact that the picture ended up in the magazine, were you?” Arthur asks later, when they’re curled up on Arthur’s sofa after being alternately glared at and hugged by an irate Gwen. (Gwen had also looked a little shifty, which led Arthur to suspect that she’d made a phone call whilst he and Merlin were talking and he’d be dealing with an even more irate Morgana in the not too distant future.)
He’s feeling a little smug, because Merlin forced a confession out of him earlier and Arthur feels it’s his right to exploit an opportunity to do the same.
Merlin shifts uncomfortably.
“Of course I was.” He mutters, but he’s not meeting Arthur’s eyes.
“Merlin” Arthur whines. “Just admit it, you were jealous.”
Merlin groans, burying his face in Arthur’s shoulder.
“Fine. I was jealous. Happy now?”
“Extremely.” Arthur says smugly, and he can tell Merlin’s smiling against his shoulder, even if he won’t admit it.
“You’re insufferable.” Merlin says.
“You love it.” Arthur tells him, before changing the subject completely. “I can probably deal with it if you decide you can’t face telling everyone.”
Merlin lifts his head up to look at him then. “Do you mean that?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” Arthur says, completely seriously. He knows how much Merlin’s career means to him, and he’s had time to rethink his priorities since he asked Merlin to tell everyone earlier.
Merlin shakes his head. “Like you said before, your reputation’s at stake as well, I don’t want to do that to you.”
Apparently, Merlin has also been rethinking his priorities. Arthur smiles and shakes his head. Clearly, this discussion is going to last for some time
“Just think about it. Aren’t you tired of lying?” He says.
“We’re not lying anymore.” Merlin replies, grinning, and Arthur has no choice but to grin back.
“No, I suppose we’re not.”
Merlin does tell everyone the truth eventually, of course. Fake boyfriends aside, he’s far too honest to do otherwise. Too honest for his own good, if you ask Arthur, which for some reason nobody does.
So, in the end, the tabloids spend some time calling Merlin a liar and a fake and lots of other horrible things that Arthur refuses to read. But then, because the press are fickle and because it’s impossible to hate Merlin for any length of time (Arthur knows, he’s tried) Merlin promptly goes back to being the nation’s sweetheart. And, this time, now that the nation no longer thinks he’s a cheating scumbag, Arthur joins him.
So they stay at Arthur’s instead. Arthur makes Merlin a fry up to keep him quiet when he whines too loudly about his hangover. He gets his revenge when they decide to put a film. Arthur digs up one of Merlin’s early films and forces him to watch it, just so he can see him squirm.
Merlin seems to take to Arthur’s flat and over the next few months ends up spending time there whenever they decide they can’t face the press (which is often, Merlin really hates the paparazzi). When they do feel prepared to face the mob that will inevitably surround Merlin, they make sure to go out armed with their best fake grins and matching outfits. They go to restaurants, cinemas, and even have picnics in the park. In short, any romantic cliché they can think of.
The press lap it up, and Gwen even comes into the shop one day brandishing an article which proclaims them ‘Britain’s cutest couple’. She’s forced to call Merlin when the amount of times Arthur hits his head against the counter becomes worrying.
Merlin also makes sure to kiss Arthur whenever there’s a camera in sight. Which is fine, really Arthur doesn’t have a problem with it. He knows it’s meaningless, and who doesn’t like meaningless kisses? Meaningless kisses are brilliant. He signed up to be Merlin’s fake boyfriend, and that means he has to live with the consequences, including nosy reporters, invasive paparazzi, jealous fans, and meaningless kisses.
It’s not as if Arthur actually wants them to mean something. That’s what he tells himself anyway, but as the weeks pass and he spends more and more time with Merlin, it gets harder and harder to do so. After a while, he stops pretending that he doesn’t look forward to Merlin’s visits to his shop and that the best part of his day isn’t when Merlin smiles at him. He gives in and accepts the fact that he’s fallen head over heels for his celebrity fake boyfriend.
By the time the release date for Merlin’s film comes around, Arthur’s giving serious consideration to running away and becoming a monk, preferable somewhere in the Himalayas. Far away from paparazzi and magazines and stupidly lovable film stars who Arthur can’t seem to get over his feelings for.
“If I recall correctly, this is my first premier, not yours. Shouldn’t you be the one comforting me?” Arthur asks, as he watches Merlin bounce up and down in his seat.
Arthur thinks Merlin should probably give more thought to the way his nails are digging into the expensive leather. He doesn’t know how much the limo they’re sitting in cost (he’s not sure he wants to) but he knows it’s enough that any damage to it won’t be looked upon kindly.
“I don’t need comforting!”
“Are you sure?” Arthur asks, raising a sceptical eyebrow. “You seem to be shaking.”
“I’m excited. That’s all, not nervous. Definitely not nervous. Why would I be nervous? No, I’m not nervous at all.”
“Merlin.” Arthur says calmly.
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
Surprisingly, Merlin does. Arthur supposes that’s proof of just how nervous Merlin really is. He still looks like he wants to argue back, he wouldn’t be Merlin if he didn’t, but he also looks like he’s waiting to hear what Arthur is going to say next. Which is a problem, because Arthur doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say next himself. He hadn’t thought past getting Merlin to stop talking.
“How many of these premiers have you been to? A lot, right?” He doesn’t add that he knew the exact number having looked it up immediately after Merlin had asked him to be his date for the night; it’s best to be informed after all.
Merlin opens his mouth to answer but Arthur doesn’t let him get a single word out.
“The point is, you’ve done this before and nobody has died-”
“Well there was that time with the fire extinguisher and the horse.” Merlin interrupts and then, after seeing Arthur’s horrified look, hastily adds, “But don’t worry, nobody died, they were just…maimed a little.”
“How can...” Arthur starts, before deciding that he’s probably better off not knowing. “Would you just listen to me? I’m trying to tell you that you’ve done this before, so you can do this again.”
Merlin stares at him.
“That was the worst pep talk ever.” He says eventually, but he’s smiling and he’s stopped shaking, so Arthur counts it as a victory.
“It was a brilliant pep talk. Anyway, we don’t have time to argue about this. We’ve arrived.”
“Oh.”
Arthur grins, feeling smug and just a little proud that he’s managed to get Merlin safely to the premier with no vomiting whatsoever, which had been a serious concern - Merlin’s agent had rung Arthur before they got into the limo to warn him.
“See, you should listen to me, I do know what I’m doing.”
“Arthur?”
“Yes, Merlin?”
“Shut up.”
“Hey that’s my line.” Arthur cries indignantly.
However, he doesn’t get a chance to say anything more because at that moment chauffeur opens the limousine door and he’s suddenly blinded by the flashing of cameras and the clamouring of both reporters and fans.
Merlin exits the limousine first and Arthur has to physically shake himself in order to not remain sat inside, gaping like an idiot. He jumps out after Merlin, who pulls him to his side as soon as he’s out of the car. Merlin wraps his arm around Arthur’s waist and grips his hip like a vice.
“Easy there, Merlin.” He whispers. “You’re going to break something.”
“Sorry!” Merlin whispers back, loosening his grip slightly, but not letting go.
They make their way down the red carpet excruciatingly slowly. They have to stop almost as soon as they start to pose for photographs, where the leers of the photographers make Arthur feel like a piece of particularly tasty meat. Then, they reach the section where the fans are crowded up against the barriers on either side. Merlin’s brave enough to let go of Arthur to go and greet his fans, so Arthur’s no longer in pain at least, but Merlin insists on signing an autograph for every fan he can reach, so by the time Merlin returns to his side, Arthur can no longer feel his fingers (he mentally curses whoever decided to hold the film premier in November).
He also feels decidedly out of place. Everyone seems to know what they’re doing, even the fans seem confident in their shrieking and flailing, but he’s been shoved to the side and left feeling useless. The feeling isn’t helped by the knowledge that he soon will be as good as useless to Merlin. He hasn’t forgotten what Merlin said when he was trying to convince Arthur that pretending to be his boyfriend was a good idea. It would just be until my newest film comes out, and I really need some good publicity. Well, Merlin’s newest film is out and he’s most definitely got some good publicity. Which means Arthur’s done his job and after tonight Merlin has no need of him.
Arthur fakes a smile when Merlin wraps his arm around his waist and then tries to keep it there when it turns a vice-like grip once again.
“Merlin, didn’t we just have this conversation?” He whispers, hoping to everyone around them it looks like he’s saying something terribly sweet and romantic. “For this to work, I need to be alive and preferably broken-bone free.”
“Sorry! It’s just…” Merlin trailed off and Arthur followed his line of sight to where the crowd of reporters began.
Arthur had heard enough of Merlin’s rants to know he absolutely loathed interviews. He supposed being forced to do a dozen in a row must be Merlin’s worst nightmare. He tried to smile sympathetically but had a feeling it came out more like a grimace.
“It’ll be fine.” He tried instead.
“Easy for you to say, you don’t have to talk to them.”
“I’m trying to be comforting here, Merlin. Give me some credit.”
“Haven’t we already established that you’re terrible at being comforting?”
“Yes, and I am. But what I am good at is distraction. Look, we’re at the first interviewer.”
“What- Oh.” Merlin looks around in panic for a second as he realises that Arthur had been subtly steering him towards the reporters as they spoke. He pastes a blinding grin on his face for the reporter, a small blonde woman who appears far too cheerful for someone who must have been standing in the cold for hours on end, whilst somehow managing to glare at Arthur at the same time.
Merlin’s still gripping Arthur with far too much strength, but Arthur can’t help but grin at the way Merlin blushes and stumbles his way through the interview and still manages to completely charm the reporter. Merlin becomes more confident as he gets through more and more interviews with no major mishaps. By the time they leave the reporters behind, Merlin’s smile is completely genuine and Arthur’s certain that he’s no longer in danger of fainting, however Merlin still hasn’t let go of Arthur.
It somehow makes it harder for Arthur, having Merlin so close, pretending to care for him. It makes it easy for Arthur to almost believe it’s real. It’s like being drenched with cold water every time he reminds himself it’s not, and he’s glad when they finally make it inside to watch Merlin’s film, where no one is watching him and he has space to breathe.
Arthur manages to lose himself in the action on screen for the duration of the film. It’s a gritty war drama and Merlin’s performance is heartbreakingly beautiful. He tries to tell Merlin so when the leave the screening, but Merlin seems to have been watching an entirely different film to Arthur.
“I was terrible wasn’t I?” He babbles, he’s shaking again and his eyes are wide and panicked. “That was nowhere near believable, I think it was actually the worst performance of my life and I’ve given some terrible performances, believe me.”
“Merlin.” Arthur tries to interrupt, but Merlin’s too far gone in his ranting to listen to him.
“Oh God. I’ve just ruined my career, haven’t I?” Merlin continues. “No one’s ever going to hire me again. I’m going to have to do adverts in Japan for flavoured water!”
“Merlin!” Arthur yells in frustration. He grabs Merlin by the shoulders and spins him around so that they’re face to face. “Listen carefully, because I’m only going to say this once. It was brilliant. You were incredible and if you don’t win another Oscar for that, there’s something wrong with the world.”
Merlin squirms slightly, but Arthur doesn’t let go of his shoulders.
“I don’t think-”
Arthur cuts Merlin off before he can even finish his sentence. “Well I do.”
Merlin looks like he’s about to argue, so Arthur does the only thing that seems logical in the moment and kisses him, not stopping to think about what he’s doing or the consequences of it. He’s sure he hears someone ‘aww’ at them, but decides that kissing Merlin is by far preferable to turning to check and ignores them.
“Arthur!”
Someone calls and Arthur looks up from his book to scan the coffee shop for the source of the voice. He finds it is Cenred, who is making his way towards him, weaving through tables and chairs to reach where Arthur is holed away in the corner.
Arthur hasn’t seen Cenred since they broke up, months before he met Merlin. Sometimes he misses him, but then he remembers what an utter bastard Cenred can be and promptly gets over it. However, as Cenred reaches his table, he’s surprised by the wave of longing he feels. He soon realises that it isn’t longing for Cenred (which he is somewhat relieved by) but for what they had, a real relationship.
He knows what he and Merlin have will never be real and he’s resigned himself to that, but he can’t help the idle daydreams he catches himself indulging in. He knows that it will make it all the more painful when Merlin decides their deal is over, which is likely to be soon. That’s partly why he came to the café, he’s not hiding. Really, he’s not. It’s just that he knows if Merlin’s going to look for him, it will be at the shop, so he’s made a strategic retreat for the duration of Gwen’s shift.
“I hear you’re doing well for yourself.” Cenred says, taking the seat across from Arthur.
“Well, business at the shop’s picked up a lot lately, so yeah I’m doing well.”
Cenred laughs, giving Arthur the patronising smile he’d always hated so much when they were together.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Arthur. We both know that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?” Arthur asks, knowing full well what Cenred means, but hoping that he’s wrong.
“Your film star boyfriend of course!” Cenred exclaims.
Arthur shushes him, noting the way heads are turning in their direction.
“I don’t want to talk about that.” Arthur says, feeling uncomfortable. He knows it seems exciting, but wonders if everyone he knows really needs to bring it up every time they see him. The lying becomes exhausting after a while, not to mention confusing.
“Trouble in paradise?”
Cenred sounds snide and a little smug; it makes Arthur want to punch him. He doesn’t though, instead he just shrugs and appeals to Cenred’s vanity by asking him inane questions about himself.
After that, it’s surprisingly easy to talk to Cenred, who reminds Arthur that’s he’s not always an insufferable git and that there was a reason Arthur liked him in the first place. He finds himself ignoring his book entirely in favour of spending an hour chatting with Cenred.
He doesn’t even consider leaving until he looks at his watch and realises it’s almost time for him to take over from Gwen at the shop.
He swears, jumping up from his seat. “I’m really sorry, I’ve got to go.”
Cenred stands and puts a hand on his arm.
“So do I, actually. But maybe we could do this again sometime?”
Arthur considers it, what harm could it do?
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
They leave the coffee shop together in companionable silence. When they’re standing on the pavement outside, Arthur hesitates, not knowing the best way to say goodbye to the ex-boyfriend he’s just spent the last hour chatting to. He’s about to opt for a safe, if slightly formal, handshake, when Cenred takes the issue out of Arthur’s hands.
Arthur barely has a chance to register what’s happening before Cenred’s lips are pressed against his own. Arthur’s surprised to say the least, and confused as well. His first instinct is to pull back, but he doesn’t act on it, because he realises Merlin is the main reason he doesn’t want to kiss Cenred. So, instead of moving back and walking away like he wants to do, he stubbornly kisses Cenred back. He refuses to let his fake boyfriend control his life.
It’s Cenred who breaks the kiss. He does so quickly and without a word, leaving Arthur standing there, bemused and alone. He stares after Cenred, until he realises he’s late for relieving Gwen of her shift. He hurries back to the shop, shaking his head slightly to clear it.
He doesn’t notice the flash of the camera from across the road.
Everything remains relatively normal in Arthur’s life until three days after his encounter with Cenred. He calls it an encounter because he has absolutely no idea what else to call it. It was undeniably strange. Come to think of it, he’s not entirely sure what Cenred was doing in the coffee shop, it’s nowhere near anywhere he normally goes. The only times he’d been there were when he was dating Arthur.
The only thing different is that Arthur hasn’t seen Merlin since the night of the premier. He hasn’t even received so much as a text message. It makes him realise just how used to Merlin’s presence in his life he’d become.
Before he can become too lost in his own thoughts, Gwen enters the shop.
“Good morning, Gwen.” He says cheerily.
Gwen glares at him. That’s odd, he doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly offensive lately.
“Is everything alright?” He asks.
Gwen remains silent.
Arthur watches her as she moves about the shop, adjusting paintings that are perfectly straight and brushing imaginary dust from spotlessly clean ornaments.
“Gwen, if you don’t tell me what I did, how am I supposed to apologise for it?”
Still glaring at him (and Arthur is deeply grateful that looks don’t have the power to physically hurt people, fatally or otherwise) Gwen stalks over. She wordlessly drops a glossy magazine on the counter and Arthur feels all the blood drain from his face. There, with almost the entire cover dedicated to them, are Arthur and Cenred.
“Oh.” Arthur says, because he’s not sure there’s an appropriate response to seeing a photograph of yourself kissing your ex-boyfriend on the cover of a gossip magazine, when you’re supposed to be pretending to date a world famous actor.
“Oh? Is that all you can say?” Gwen cries, apparently breaking her silence in favour of yelling at Arthur.
“Well what would you like me to say?” Arthur asks, helplessly.
He knows he shouldn’t be mad at Gwen, he knows it’s his fault for not telling her the truth, but that still doesn’t ease his sense of injustice at the situation. No matter how much they may pretend, Merlin is not his boyfriend. Which means Arthur hasn’t cheated on him. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He knows this, and Merlin knows this, but unfortunately for him nobody else does.
The enormity of the situation crashes down on him. He hadn’t been wrong when he’d called Merlin the nation’s sweetheart, and now the entire country thinks Arthur cheated on him.
“I’d like you to explain to me why you cheated on Merlin!”
Arthur sighs. He’s tired of lying, and who better to tell the truth to than Gwen?
“I didn’t.” He says.
Gwen narrows her eyes and gestures to the magazine. “I think it’s quite clear that you did.”
“No, I...” He begins, stopping when he realises he has absolutely no idea how to explain this whole mess.
Gwen has now gone from looking furious to concerned at Arthur’s hesitation.
“It might be best if we did this in the back,” Arthur says. “You’re probably going to want to sit down.”
Half an hour later Gwen has resumed her plan to not speak to Arthur.
She stomps around the shop, angrily tidying up a mess that isn’t there so that she has an excuse not to look at Arthur. Not that Arthur thinks she needs one. He feels lucky she didn’t hit him, although he supposes he’ll get that from Morgana later. He flinches just thinking about it; he should have talked her out of those boxing lessons when he’d had the chance.
“Gwen...” Arthur begins, but stops when he realises that he has no idea what he wants to say next.
Gwen is still glaring at him but she seems to have reached the stage where anger turns into disappointment, and she appears to be wondering what Arthur is going to say next. Arthur is wondering the same thing, frantically searching for something that will make the situation better.
In the end, neither of them find out what he would have said, as they’re distracted by an egg smashing against the window at high speed.
“What the hell was that?” Arthur exclaims.
Gwen gives him a look that Arthur can’t quite decipher, but probably means ‘I’m still mad at you, but I’m going to pretend I’m not long enough to explain why you’re an idiot’.
“I can’t be sure,” She says, “but it sounds like Merlin’s fans have arrived.”
“What?!” He rushes to the door to see, and most probably shout at, these people who’ve decided his shop would look better decorated with egg.
Gwen steps forwards and reaches out to stop him before he can even get close to the door.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She says calmly, although Arthur thinks she looks far more amused than the situations warrants.
“I can’t just let those hooligans vandalise my shop!” He says, gesturing wildly towards the door.
At that moment, another egg hits the window. Gwen raises an eyebrow at him and Arthur tells himself that she does not look smug, because Gwen is far too nice to enjoy his suffering. He starts forward again, but Gwen continues to block his way.
“Arthur, if you go out there, they’re going to throw those eggs at you. And as handsome as you are, I don’t think you can pull off the ‘covered in egg’ look.”
Arthur splutters, turning away from Gwen so he can pace the shop floor. “This is insane!”
“So is pretending to date a celebrity to make money.” Gwen mutters, but she’s stopped glaring at him and seems at least mildly sympathetic, which Arthur is grateful for.
He stops and braces his hand on the counter, facing away from Gwen so she can’t see just how much he agrees with her.
“I know that, but I-” He’s cut off by another egg splattering against the window.
“Oh. I’ve had enough of this.” Arthur growls, marching to the back room to find his mobile.
There’s only one thing for it. He has to call Merlin.
He doesn’t call Merlin. It turns out he doesn’t need to because, before he can dial the number, someone taps him on the shoulder.
When he turns around he sees Merlin standing directly behind him. He jumps backwards, startled.
“How did you get in here?”
“Through the door. How else?”
“No, I mean, how did you get past your fan club out there?”
“Oh. That was easy.” Merlin says, holding up a very long and very white fake beard.
“Are you telling me that actually worked?”
“Of course it worked, I’m standing here aren’t I?” Merlin says, as if there is nothing odd about using the world’s worst fake beard to sneak past a legion of your fans.
“Yes, but…” Arthur trails off. Either Merlin’s a master of disguise, or his fans are incredibly stupid; however, he has much more important things to do than work out which it is, so for now it will have to remain a mystery.
Merlin seems to agree, because he doesn’t give Arthur a chance to say anything else. “That doesn’t matter anyway! That’s not why I’m here.”
“I should hope not.” Arthur says. “I hope you’re here to sort out this mess you’ve gotten us into.”
Merlin looks outraged. “Me?! This is your fault.”
“It is not my fault.”
“You cheated on me!” Merlin yells.
Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Merlin, I’m your fake boyfriend. How could I possibly have cheated on you?”
He can practically see the cogs turning in Merlin’s brain as he ponders the logic of the statement.
“Fine then, you fake cheated on me!”
Arthur’s mouth drops open. He closes it then opens it again, then closes it again, trying to come up with a response.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” He eventually splutters.
“It doesn’t have to make sense. The point is, you kissed someone else and it ended up on the cover of a magazine.” Merlin says.
Arthur doesn’t say anything, he can hardly argue with what Merlin’s said. It’s true, after all. The evidence is still sat on the counter in the shop.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Merlin asks, looking furious, but also lost enough that Arthur feels the full force of the guilt that’s been lurking underneath the anger ever since Gwen showed him the magazine,
“I’m sorry, alright. I didn’t know that anyone was watching us.” Arthur pauses thinking about it; that street is normally close to empty and most days anyone who was there would be the type to ignore them rather than snap a photo for the press. It suddenly clicks and he startles Merlin when he yells out. “That bastard!”
Merlin stares at him as if he’s gone mad.
“Cenred.” Arthur clarifies. “He set me up. I knew there was something odd about him that day but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”
“As fascinating as that is.” Merlin says, in a tone that implies the exact opposite. “It still doesn’t change anything.”
“I know that! If anything it just makes me feel worse for allowing myself to be tricked like that.”
He doesn’t tell Merlin the reasons he’d fallen into Cenred’s trap, he knows he couldn’t bear to see Merlin’s response which would inevitably be pity and, knowing Merlin, some attempt to be comforting.
Merlin still looks furious with Arthur, but his expression has softened slightly and Arthur is convinced that no one will be dying any time soon. Which is why he decides it’s the best opportunity he’s going to get to ask for something he knows is probably only going to make the situation worse.
“Merlin, you have to know this isn’t what I was expecting when agreed to do this.” He says, as calmly as he can manage. “I can’t let this go on, I need you to tell everyone the truth.”
Merlin shakes his head furiously. “I can’t.”
“You have to.” Arthur replies, already knowing this is going to be a battle of stubborn wills between them.
“It would completely destroy my reputation!” Merlin says, proving Arthur right.
“And what about my reputation? Everyone hates me because of you. There are people throwing eggs at my window. Eggs, Merlin!”
“What a waste of eggs.”
“Merlin!”
“I’m sorry, but this could completely ruin my career. And, since you’ve apparently forgotten, my career was the whole reason I asked you to do this in the first place.”
“I know that. Of course I know that!”
“Well, you seemed to forget it long enough to kiss your ex.”
“I didn’t forget!” Arthur shouts back and then he freezes and has to resist the urge to clap his hand over his mouth.
Merlin’s eyes widen and he looks angrier than ever.
“You didn’t forget? What’s that supposed to mean, did you kiss him on purpose? Was it some bizarre way of letting me know you wanted to end this?”
“That’s absurd!”
“Well excuse me for not being able to make sense of every ridiculous thing you say.”
“Why are you even here anyway?” Arthur asks. “Shouldn’t you be off slandering me to the press and playing the victim?”
Merlin looks like he’s been slapped.
“You know.” He says, with forced casualty. “I really thought you had a higher opinion of me than that.”
He looks straight into Arthur’s eyes and Arthur finds himself unable to look away. Merlin seems angrier now than he has been for the entirety of their conversation.
“I’m here because I care about you, and because I thought you cared about me as well.”
Arthur gapes at him, dumbfounded. He’s sure he’s going to have to physically rescue his chin from the floor. He could be wrong, Merlin could mean something entirely different, but judging by the stubborn set of Merlin’s jaw and the resolve in his eyes, Arthur’s pretty certain he’s right about this. He manages to form words after his mind screams at him to say something, but even then it’s no more coherent than a shaky “What?”
“I know it’s ridiculous.” Merlin says hastily. “I mean, it sounds like the plot of the crappy rom-com script I got sent last week. But I can’t help it and I thought, maybe… Well, at the premier, you kissed me. You’ve never done that before, it’s always me kissing you and I thought that maybe it was a sign that you had feelings for me as well.”
Merlin looks away from Arthur then, and Arthur can tell that he’s trying not to sound hopeful at all. Even though Merlin can’t see him, Arthur continues to stare at him. Merlin is one of the few people in the world who can render him speechless, and unfortunately Merlin has the innate ability to do it at the worst possible times.
So Arthur does what he always does in situations where he has absolutely no clue what is happening: he tries to get by on sheer obnoxiousness.
“You didn’t think to tell me this sooner?” He says and sees Merlin’s eyes fly to his.
“Would it have mattered if I had?” Merlin asks warily.
“Yes!” Arthur says with far more passion than he’d intended. He blushes slightly but soldiers bravely onwards nevertheless. “It’s important to have all the facts in order to make a balanced judgement, otherwise a person is liable to make mistakes.”
“Mistakes such as kissing your ex when you have feelings for someone else?” Merlin asks and Arthur’s relieved enough that Merlin no longer seems to be angry with him that he doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that Merlin now seems to be enjoying this more than is appropriate.
“That would fall under that category, yes,” Arthur say stiffly.
Merlin considers it, making a great show of tapping his chin and wrinkling his forehead.
“So kissing Cenred, that was what exactly? A result of misinformation?”
“Something like that.” Arthur mutters.
“Why don’t you spell it out for me?” Merlin is grinning now, big and smug; he looks just a little deranged. “We wouldn’t want anyone to not have all the facts, now would we?”
Arthur scowls at Merlin. He knows there’s no way to get out of saying the words out loud, especially when Merlin, cheeky sod that he is, has used his own words against him.
“Alright. You win.” Arthur says, and when Merlin starts to look too smug adds. “Don’t get used to it.”
Merlin doesn’t even flinch, he just keeps staring at Arthur both smugly and expectantly.
Arthur takes a deep breath and tries to get the words out as quickly as possible.
“I kissed Cenred because for some unfathomable reason I find myself having feelings for you as well. However, up until around two minutes ago I thought those feelings were entirely unrequited. In short, I kissed Cenred because I thought I couldn’t have you.”
“Well then.” Merlin says. “Since I have all the facts, it appears it’s time for me to make an informed decision.”
“What-” Arthur starts to ask, but he doesn’t get a chance as suddenly Merlin is right there, kissing him like it’s the most important thing in the world.
When they break apart, he rests his forehead against Merlin’s and they grin at each other stupidly.
“Good decision.” Arthur says, a little breathlessly, before leaning back in for another kiss.
“You weren’t really mad about the fact that the picture ended up in the magazine, were you?” Arthur asks later, when they’re curled up on Arthur’s sofa after being alternately glared at and hugged by an irate Gwen. (Gwen had also looked a little shifty, which led Arthur to suspect that she’d made a phone call whilst he and Merlin were talking and he’d be dealing with an even more irate Morgana in the not too distant future.)
He’s feeling a little smug, because Merlin forced a confession out of him earlier and Arthur feels it’s his right to exploit an opportunity to do the same.
Merlin shifts uncomfortably.
“Of course I was.” He mutters, but he’s not meeting Arthur’s eyes.
“Merlin” Arthur whines. “Just admit it, you were jealous.”
Merlin groans, burying his face in Arthur’s shoulder.
“Fine. I was jealous. Happy now?”
“Extremely.” Arthur says smugly, and he can tell Merlin’s smiling against his shoulder, even if he won’t admit it.
“You’re insufferable.” Merlin says.
“You love it.” Arthur tells him, before changing the subject completely. “I can probably deal with it if you decide you can’t face telling everyone.”
Merlin lifts his head up to look at him then. “Do you mean that?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” Arthur says, completely seriously. He knows how much Merlin’s career means to him, and he’s had time to rethink his priorities since he asked Merlin to tell everyone earlier.
Merlin shakes his head. “Like you said before, your reputation’s at stake as well, I don’t want to do that to you.”
Apparently, Merlin has also been rethinking his priorities. Arthur smiles and shakes his head. Clearly, this discussion is going to last for some time
“Just think about it. Aren’t you tired of lying?” He says.
“We’re not lying anymore.” Merlin replies, grinning, and Arthur has no choice but to grin back.
“No, I suppose we’re not.”
Merlin does tell everyone the truth eventually, of course. Fake boyfriends aside, he’s far too honest to do otherwise. Too honest for his own good, if you ask Arthur, which for some reason nobody does.
So, in the end, the tabloids spend some time calling Merlin a liar and a fake and lots of other horrible things that Arthur refuses to read. But then, because the press are fickle and because it’s impossible to hate Merlin for any length of time (Arthur knows, he’s tried) Merlin promptly goes back to being the nation’s sweetheart. And, this time, now that the nation no longer thinks he’s a cheating scumbag, Arthur joins him.