[FIC] The Ultimate Measure - Part I (Arthur/Merlin; PG-13)
Author: filmatleven
Title: The Ultimate Measure
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Arthur/Merlin, various supporting "legend" characters.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr. Or, the fic where Merlin's the new kid, Arthur's kind of a puppy, and somehow against all odds they end up together happily at prom. (Alternately known as 'see the prompt because author is shite at coming up with summaries.' :-))
Warnings: Possible triggers for homophobia and homophobic violence. Considering the prompt, this is a modern day AU (though not reincarnation), set in America. The boys are 17-18 and in their senior year of high school.
Total word count: 19,500
Original prompt number: 326 - 'There are but two boys in my high school who have openly admitted they are gay. They are constantly spit at and beat on in school, yet the more confident always holds the shyer one's hand. Despite threats, they showed up to prom together, wearing matching suits. Seeing them on the dance floor, ignoring the world GMH.' (Gives Me Hope) - Submitted by vesperdivum.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by the BBC and Shine TV. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's notes: I chose this prompt due to the nature of the topic, which is one that is very important to me personally. Thank you, prompter, for your wonderful prompt. When reveals are up there will be a soundtrack kind of thing for this, for those who're into that. Finally, for those who aren't as familiar with American high schools and are curious about the timeline: Merlin moves late January, basketball tourney first half of March, prom in mid-May - hopefully that helps. :-)
Beta: dreamdustmama - Dear heart, thank you for holding my hand, double-checking Americanisation, and for making sure this didn't totally suck :-) Also, a special thanks to slashweaver for helping with fact checking Arthurian legend. ♥ to you both. Any remaining errors are my own.
The first time Arthur meets Merlin is in the nurse's office after school. Arthur's laying on a cot, bored out of his mind while icing his knee after a slip on the basketball court, when a young man stumbles in, appearing to trip over his own feet despite his downcast eyes. He's cradling his left wrist to his chest and has a nasty cut on one sharp cheekbone. His hair's a complete disaster, he has a rip in one of the knees of his jeans, and he looks like he's about to blow over in a breeze. Arthur's never seen anything quite like him.
"What the hell happened to you?" Arthur asks before he can stop himself.
The boy visibly jumps as if startled, his large blue eyes meeting Arthur's before glancing around the room quickly and looking away again. "Umm... Is the nurse still here?" he asks, and even though the volume is quiet Arthur can pick up a slight accent.
"Yeah, she should be back in a few minutes. I think she's off giving my coach a hard time."
The boy just nods and stands there awkwardly, fidgeting as he looks around the room at anywhere that doesn't seem to include Arthur. "I'll just..." he trails off, motioning over his shoulder toward the door and moving to leave.
"I'm not going to bite, you know," Arthur snaps, and then winces when he sees the young man's shoulders tense. He takes a deep breath and tries again before the boy manages to leave the room. "Look, there's plenty of room in here for the both of us, you don't have to leave. There's a whole other cot on the other side of the curtain." Arthur pulls said curtain back to reveal the cot running nearly adjacent to his along the back wall of the room. "Besides, Mrs. Greenwood will have my head if she thinks I made you wait for her in the hall."
Arthur's honestly a bit surprised when the boy turns back around and nods. He moves into the room and sits on the cot opposite Arthur's, his eyes barely leaving the floor. Arthur takes the opportunity to observe him. He's tall, perhaps just as tall as Arthur himself, but he's thin - a fact which is only accentuated by the multiple layers he's wearing (Arthur counts three) and the baggy jeans. Arthur wonders briefly just how thin the boy is; what he might look like if Arthur managed to get all those layers off of him.
The boy glances up at that moment, catching Arthur looking. When he realizes Arthur's gaze is on him he blushes, clears his throat, and then looks away again quickly. Arthur watches the blush slowly move from the boy's cheeks, to the tips of his large ears, and then down his neck. Before Arthur can stop it, his subconscious adds that blush to the shirtless mental picture and Arthur allows the image to sit in his mind for a moment. Interestingly enough, he doesn't find it repulsive. In fact, he finds the blush adorable and the boy himself stunningly attractive. Arthur rubs his hand over the back of his own neck, determinedly pushing the thoughts away to dwell on later, along with the question of when the hell he started checking out guys.
He sits up and turns sideways on the cot, placing his back to the wall in order to face the young man properly. "So, maybe we could try this again. Hello, I'm Arthur. And you are?" he asks, tone light and laced with amusement.
"You're quite persistent, aren't you?" is the reply, but at least the boy's looking at him now. Well, looking at his knee, anyway.
Arthur lets a full-on grin cross his face. "Yeah well, you're a lot more interesting than watching the second hand on the clock. Did you know the clocks in this school actually stop moving for a bit at 20 minutes and 43 seconds after each hour?"
The boy's mouth opens as if he's going to respond and then snaps shut, a snort coming out in its place. Arthur's pleased to note that his eyes do glance toward the clock though, as if to confirm the tale.
Arthur tries again, "So, I've not seen you before. Today's your first day? I notice you have a bit of an accent. Where'd you move from? And why the hell did you move here? I sure as hell wouldn't move here by choice."
"What makes you assume I had a say in the matter?" comes the quick response, and Arthur notes that the boy's line of sight has moved up to approximately Arthur's chest. He figures at this rate he might see the boy's eyes again by the time they're both 20.
"Touché. Are you a senior?" Arthur asks as he leans his head back against the wall. He notices the boy's eyes shift up a little higher. Neck, he supposes.
"What's with the 20 questions?"
Arthur shrugs. "Persistence? Curiosity? Maybe if I ask enough questions you'll eventually answer one properly. I'll admit I'm not doing so hot though; oh for seven at the moment. Guess I had better make my next 13 more interesting, then. Any teachers you like so far?"
The boy huffs out a laugh, finally meeting Arthur's eyes. "You remind me of a puppy. You're like an over-eager bundle of energy needing attention this very instant."
There's a part of Arthur that thinks he should probably take offense to that, but a larger part grabs hold of the opening and runs with it. "Do you have a puppy?"
Arthur watches as the boy carefully shifts back further on the cot, resting against the wall on his side of the room. "Yes, actually, I do."
"Ha!" Arthur exclaims, happy to have at least something to work with. "What's your puppy's name?"
The boy's head tilts to the side slightly and he graces Arthur with a confused expression, which Arthur finds quite odd. Nearly a whole minute passes and Arthur's certain he'll have to come up with another line of interrogation when the boy finally responds, "Cabal. His name is Cabal."
Arthur raises an eyebrow at that but doesn't push for an explanation; of the pause or of the name. "Huh. And what's your name again? I missed it the first time, what with you ignoring-"
"Look," they boy cuts in out of nowhere, gesturing to Arthur's knee. "Sports injury, right? And you said you had a coach. Sports injuries and coaches means you're a jock. That means you can stop. It's okay; I know the social ladder as well as anyone. I'm the nerd, the geek, whatever your choice word is. You, the aforementioned jock, give me shit, push me into lockers, et cetera. And I, the aforementioned non-jock, I ignore you and complain about you to my fellow non-jocky types. That's how it works. I'd hate to have you disowned by Jocks-R-Us for breaking the age-old tradition."
Arthur finds himself a bit speechless at the end of the boy's rant. As well as amused, if he's honest. He's just not sure if the speechlessness is because of the rant or if it's because he spent the entire length of said rant looking between the boy's flashing blue eyes, his hand waving about, and his full lips. The boy's captivating. After a moment Arthur manages to collect himself and whistles. "Man, must have been one crap first day. Okay, really, what the hell happened to you?"
"Arthur Pendragon! What have I told you about swearing on campus?" comes the unexpected question from the grey-haired woman walking through the door.
"Sorry Mrs. Greenwood," Arthur apologizes automatically. Despite her entrance, he doesn't look away from the boy. Arthur can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment at the look of relief on the boy's face when he realizes he doesn't have to ignore, or respond, to Arthur's question.
"Right. Arthur, I think you should be okay to go. No practice tonight. I don't suppose you'll listen when I tell you to take a week off?" Mrs Greenwood asks, hands on hips and a pointed look in Arthur's direction.
Arthur finally looks towards her. "If I can play, I'm playing. We've got to make regionals, Mrs. Greenwood."
"How many times must I tell you to call me Alice? Now, your coach is just as stubborn as you are, so if you're both going to insist on you playing this week you need to wear a brace. Ice and heat alternately after each practice and game and so help me I will speak to your father if you do not do as I say."
Arthur winces at that. "Yes, Mrs. Greenwood."
"Alice."
Arthur gets up and turns toward the boy one last time. "So, pleasure meeting you. Good luck and everything." As he heads for the exit he calls back over his shoulder, "Thanks, Mrs. Greenwood."
"Insufferable! That boy, just like his mother," he hears her say softly and Arthur smiles as he walks away. After a moment he can hear Mrs. Greenwood turn towards the boy and start in with, "Well then. Hello. As you've heard, I'm Mrs. Greenwood, but please call me Alice. Let's have a look and get you fixed up. How about you tell me what happened, dear?"
It takes every ounce of his self-control not to stop and listen but he keeps walking, instead returning to his thoughts from earlier. Arthur allows the mental image of the boy, shirtless, lips parted and that blush covering him, to take over in his mind. Now that he's actually thinking about it, he's shocked that the concept of being with a guy didn't occur to him earlier, what with how appealing the idea of being with this guy seems to be. An idea that's leaps and bounds more appealing than being with either of the girls he's been with. Huh. Well that explains why things didn't work out with Gwen. Or Elena, Arthur thinks, before dismissing it again and returning to the gym to watch the remainder of practice.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Merlin spends the first part of the freezing cold, two mile walk home coming up with ideas of how to get out of ever returning to that school. They range from dropping out, getting his G.E.D., and going right to college, to going to live with his dad in Japan or wherever he is these days, to actually ringing his ex-boyfriend Tristan and going back to Boston to live with him. Merlin bins the Tristan idea immediately. If all Merlin happened to be was the dirty little secret then why would that work out? He bins the dad idea too since he knows he'll never leave his mother. That, and he doesn't know a single word of Japanese. He shelves the idea of dropping out to ponder some more later, though. Maybe if he comes up with a good argument by morning his mom will go for it. He sighs and makes a resolution to just focus on school work, to make it through to graduation and ignore everything and everyone else. Four months, he thinks. I can do four months.
Burrowing deeper into his coat to try to avoid the wind, Merlin tries to come up with anything good about the day to focus on. It might help cheer him up, or help him forget about the cold, at least. He figures his classes will be all right and his teachers all seem fairly decent so far, willing to work with him to get him caught up quickly. Merlin's aware that sometimes starting a new school in the middle of term can mess up one's grades, especially when one's classes consist entirely of Advanced Placement courses. Merlin's grateful that it doesn't seem like that will happen, though he won't know that for certain until after tomorrow. By the time he'd made it to school that morning, finished registration, and received the standard tour, it had already been lunch time and he'd missed half his classes for the day.
It's only so long he can distract himself with trivial thoughts of classes, professors, and schedules though, before his mind turns to the other events of the day, mainly Arthur. Merlin groans aloud when he remembers the meeting in the nurse's office. Then he wonders how the hell he managed to forget it for even a moment. Merlin may be inclined to think Arthur's nosy and ridiculously over-eager, but one thing is completely undeniable: Arthur is gorgeous.
Merlin's still not quite sure how he managed to get by without making a complete fool of himself. He figures it was probably aided by the fact that he could barely talk at first, as he'd been so stunned by how one person could embody his exact type. A type that, until two hours ago, he didn't even realize he had. But apparently Arthur's it. Tall, blond, obviously athletic and fit, (something Merlin managed to figure out very quickly, what with the shorts and the tight t-shirt Arthur had been wearing) and he seemed to honestly be a decent guy - despite the jock thing. Merlin's still wary about that since he doesn't believe there is such a thing as a nice jock.
Great, Merlin thinks, a bit petulantly. First day and I manage to get outed, get the crap kicked out of me, and gain a crush on a blond Adonis who's probably the straightest guy in school. I bet he's dating the head cheerleader. Brilliant.
When Merlin finally makes it home the driveway's empty, his mother having already left for her job as a night nurse at the local hospital. He quickly buries a sudden wave of guilt, determinedly telling himself that it's because he missed her and not because he'd stopped to see Alice instead of coming home to be treated. There'll be fewer questions this way; he's never been good at lying to his mom, and the last thing he wants is to worry her.
He's barely through the front door when he hears Cabal racing down the hallway and bounding through the living room to meet him. "Hey there buddy," he says while reaching down to pet the yellow lab. At least someone's happy to see me today, he thinks. "I suppose you're ready for a walk, aren't you? All right then, let me just get something warmer on and we'll go before it gets too dark and I get us lost."
Two minutes later he's back outside, Cabal bounding ahead of him and disappearing around the snow bank at the end of the drive. As he reaches the bottom of the driveway himself he's surprised when he nearly trips over Cabal, who's sitting on the street, tail wagging, and currently being fawned over by a girl with long, brown hair and warm, brown eyes. "What's his name?" she asks while rubbing the dog's head and neck briskly with both mitten covered hands.
"Um, Cabal," Merlin manages once he's managed to over his surprise at seeing someone else willingly outside in the freezing cold. "And I hope you're prepared for a new best-friend because he's going to love you forever for that." Merlin gestures to her petting the dog.
She laughs and stands up, letting the dog head off to run about a bit. "I remember seeing you in two of my classes this afternoon, so when I saw you come home I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. I'm Freya," she says as she extends her hand toward him to shake.
"Merlin," he responds, taking her hand. "Sorry I didn't recognize you, bit of a crazy day. I was happy to just find my classes on time," he admits sheepishly.
"Oh it's okay! I just thought, you know, since we're neighbors too I should come and say hi. Do you need to take him for a walk? There's a little park a block that way, if you didn't know." She points over Merlin's shoulder in the opposite direction. "He could run around and you could stand there trying not to freeze," she says with a smile.
"Thanks. Yeah, he could probably use it." Merlin's trying to figure out how to say goodbye without seeming rude but realizes if she's made this much effort, maybe he could try a bit too. "Um, I'm sure you have something better to do but you're welcome to join me, if you want?" She agrees quickly and they head toward the park, Cabal running ahead of them. Merlin spends nearly the whole way there trying to think of something to say. "So what classes do we have together then?" he asks, finally.
"Music Theory and AP Calculus. Has to be rough transferring an AP course mid-term," she says with sympathy. "But Mr. Kilgharrah is awesome and I'm sure he'll work with you in calc. And based on Mrs. Pearson's Q&A with you this afternoon, you'll be fine in music."
He smiles, "Yeah music should be all right. As for calc, I'm honestly not too worried about that class; math is my favorite subject." They've reached the park at this point and Merlin lets Cabal off his leash to run around. He sits down on a bench and tosses the ball out as far as he can for Cabal to go and find before continuing, "I'm more worried about AP Chemistry, World History, and English Lit. I won't know where I sit with those classes until tomorrow, and you guys are about two weeks ahead of my old school since you started school earlier in the fall."
Freya looks down at him in shock, "Five AP courses? Are you serious?"
"Six, actually. I have AP French, too. And a study hall."
"Your entire course load is AP? You can't be serious."
Merlin just nods as Cabal brings him the ball back and he throws it out again, watching the dog run after it.
"You're insane," she says as she sits down beside him on the bench.
Merlin chuckles. "Yeah, been told as much."
"What about extras?"
He shrugs. "Ran track in the fall, don't do any others. Course work keeps me busy enough."
"Wow," she says. "Well, with that many APs you should join our study group! There are nine of us total, though none of us have as many AP courses as you do. We usually break into smaller groups of like 3 or 4, depending on what we need to work on. We meet two or three times a week, based on everyone's schedule and what's going on with courses. Everyone's super nice, I'm sure there would be no problem. I can introduce you to everyone tomorrow, if you want?"
"Um, yeah, maybe. I could meet everyone and see how it goes," he says, a bit awkwardly. He's never really been great with meeting people.
"Great, I can't wait for you to meet everyone. Morgana and Arthur will be in World History with you. I have that class too, by the way. And if you're in English Lit, they have that one too, along with Gwen, Gwaine and Will. Morgana and Gwen have chem with you too."
Merlin looks back to her quickly at the mention of Arthur. There must be more than one Arthur in the school, right? he thinks, but decides to be sure. "Tall, blond, asks a million questions, Arthur?"
"Yeah, Arthur Pendragon. Have you met? You might have, sometimes he gives the registration tours to new students, what with him being class president and all. I know he and Morgana were out this afternoon, but they have AP Calc with us too."
Merlin groans and rubs his hand over his face, "Yeah, we've met. Sort of."
Freya gives him an odd look, "Now what did he do?"
"That sounds ominous."
"No, it's not. Arthur's a very, very good guy. He's just..." she trails off searching for a word to describe him.
"Over-eager, like a puppy?" Merlin supplies with a laugh, pointing toward Cabal.
"Exactly! He just tries too hard, sometimes, to make people feel comfortable and it ends up having the opposite effect. Not everyone can be as calm and together as him, and his confidence throws people off," she says.
Merlin takes a moment to digest that, trying to piece the day's earlier encounter together with the way Freya's describing him. "Class president, huh? I didn't picture him as the class pres or AP course type," Merlin supplies finally, when he can't think of anything else.
"He's class president because he's a natural leader and everyone adores him. He's good for that spot. And, well, he's scary smart, actually. He's the only reason I'll pass history, I think. He's just good at everything," she says. Then after a moment she adds, "Except math. He hates math. Makes every excuse he can to get out of calc, actually."
Merlin laughs. "Why's he in it then?"
"I talked him into it, promised to help him pass. Plus if he passes the test he won't need to take a math credit in college. That kind of sold the deal for him," she says with a grin.
Merlin shakes his head; that last bit had sounded more like the guy he thought he'd met. "So you do the math tutoring in your little group then?"
"Yep, everyone else hates it. Which, I'm kind of hoping you'd be willing to help with?" she admits. "It's just, there are a lot of them and they're at two different levels too, which can get confusing."
Merlin takes a deep breath before exhaling loudly. "I don't know, Freya," he says with a sigh. "Jocks and I don't really get along. I've already told Arthur off once over it, actually." He looks toward her again and blinks, taken aback at the sad look on her face.
"So..." she starts and then trails off as if unsure how to proceed. "So I saw what happened today after school, with Cenred and Valiant. You left so quickly I couldn't talk to you then, but it's part of why I came to talk to you," she admits softly.
Merlin just sighs. "I really don't want to talk about that."
"No, that's fine," she rushes to soothe, "it's just... are you all right?"
"Yeah. Just a sprain, and the cut," he gestures to his cheek.
"You should report them, you know. I'd go with you, if you want-"
"I'd rather not add fuel to the fire," he says, cutting her off.
She looks as if she's going to argue that, but after a moment she nods. "Well, I don't know if something happened at your old school to make you hate the 'jocks,'" she says, complete with air quotes, "but I get why you'd say that based on what happened today. I just want you to know that if what they said is true, about you being gay, I mean... well, I don't care."
Merlin studies her face as she's talking and she looks so earnest and eager for him to believe her that he has a hard time not doing so. So he lets her continue, uninterrupted. "And I know no one in the group would care, if you chose to tell them. Sure there are five guys in the group and they all play basketball, but I promise they're all perfectly respectable. I would know, my boyfriend's one of them," she says with a grin.
Merlin turns away and calls for Cabal, suddenly feeling the need to just get home and be alone with this thoughts. One last question he feels the need to ask, though. "So, is Arthur the one of them that's your boyfriend then?"
"Oh, no," she says as she leans down to attach the leash to Cabal's collar for Merlin. "Arthur isn't seeing anybody right now. We tease him sometimes and call him the 9th wheel, seeing as the rest of us are actually together and he never really dates anyone. My boyfriend's name is Will. I'll introduce you to him tomorrow."
"Hmm," is the only response Merlin can come up with at the moment and so he lets the conversation lapse. The walk home is short, but he spends the time digesting everything she's said and he's glad when she seems to realize he just needs a moment to think.
When they reach the end of his driveway she turns to him one last time, "Merlin... Will, Arthur, and the other guys, they're really not like Cenred and Valiant. I hope you'll give them a chance to prove that. Will you at least think about the group?"
"Yeah," he agrees. He figures he can at least give her that much, after she's tried so hard.
"Thank you. So... want a ride to school tomorrow?" she asks, holding up a set of keys in her hand and jiggling them for emphasis.
"Well hell, if you'd opened with that I'd have agreed immediately," he jokes, a wide smile gracing his features.
She laughs as she starts walking away. "Pick you up tomorrow at 8 then."
"All right," he agrees. "And thanks."
She waves as she heads across the street to her own house, and as Merlin lets himself and Cabal back inside he can't help but wonder what he's just managed to get himself into. Absolutely nothing in Freya's conversation has dissuaded the little crush he's got going for Arthur. If anything, it's only made matters worse with the hope that maybe Arthur really is a decent guy. And now Merlin knows that Arthur's in at least four of his classes, along with the fact that Merlin may or may not be seeing him in study groups as well.
I'm so screwed, Merlin thinks, and bangs his head against the closed door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Everyone's allowed to feel suicidal at some point in their life, but could you not take me along with you?"
Arthur blinks, startled from his own thoughts, and glances at Morgana for a moment before returning his eyes to the road, "Sorry, what?"
"You just ran that light. Could you not kill me in your attempts to end your own life?"
Arthur's eyes move to the rear-view mirror just in time to see the traffic lights behind them turn from red to green. "Fuck," he says eloquently, rubbing a hand over his face before returning it to the wheel.
"Jesus, Arthur, what's with you? You barely said two words at dinner last night, immediately after which you locked yourself in your room, and now your eyes are completely bloodshot. You look like an addict. Did you get any sleep last night?"
"I've just got something on my mind, that's all," he says, hoping she'll let it go.
"Bull. That might work on Dad but not on me. Out with it," she demands.
Arthur glances sideways again to see she's turned in her seat to look at him, a concerned expression gracing her features. He knows she means well, and he feels bad for worrying her, he's just not sure he's ready to say it all out loud. It's not that he thinks she'll be upset, or think of him any differently, he's just not quite sure how to say in casual conversation, Oh, don't worry, I just spent the night analyzing every person in my life in an attempt to classify my sexuality. Before decided that classifications are ridiculous, that is. "Morgana-"
"Don't you dare 'Morgana' me in that patronizing tone, I hate that tone. Something is obviously wrong and you are going to tell me before we get out of this vehicle," she says as he turns into the school parking lot.
"Anyone ever told you that you should be a lawyer?" he asks while pulling into an empty parking space.
"Yes, every day. Quit trying to change the subject."
He barks out a short laugh. "Wouldn't work even if I did, would it? I'm not trying to change the subject I'm just..." he trails off, putting the SUV in park but leaving the engine running for the heat.
"Stalling?" she supplies helpfully.
"Yeah, maybe," he shrugs.
"It's not drugs is it? I know I was joking about you looking like an addict but if it really is drugs, I'm going to hit you, just so you're prepared."
"No, Morgana, it's not drugs," he says, rolling his eyes.
"Okay good." She allows a brief few seconds of silence before throwing another question out, "Well, is it the calc test on Friday? Freya and I both told you we'd help you study."
"It's got nothing to do with classes, or school for that matter."
"Well, what the hell is wrong then?" she demands exasperatedly.
"If you'd shut up for two seconds maybe I'd tell you." Arthur ignores the glare he gets for that when it works and she stops asking questions, waiting for him to continue. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm just not sure where or how to begin," he admits, looking out the window behind her.
"I knew it, you're quitting school to join a Seminary."
He snorts at that. "You really need to quit watching those crazy soap operas."
"Maybe," she admits with a grin, "but it got you to stop worrying for a second. Just say it Arthur, do you really think anything you have to say will-"
"What would you say if I said I think I'm gay?" he interrupts before she can get too far into her speech. Well, that could have come out more smoothly, he thinks, wincing.
"I'd say I want to meet him."
Arthur's taken aback by the instant response; she hadn't even blinked. "Sorry, what?" is all he can ask, speechless. He was expecting at least some kind of reaction.
Arthur watches as she unbuckles her seatbelt and turns in the seat to face him fully. "I would say, and am saying, by the way, that I want to meet the guy responsible for making you figure it out."
"Well, what if there is no guy?" he asks, still trying to recover.
"It's possible, that's true, but you're not really one to dwell on things without prompting. You're one of those people who just rolls with things as they come along. So if you've suddenly had an epiphany that you're gay, I'm pretty sure something or someone caused it."
"You're kind of freaky when you do that, you know? The whole 'know someone better than they know themselves' thing."
"You're stalling again. Quit it, class starts in 20. What's his name?" she asks, trying to help him out.
"I don't even know, he wouldn't tell me," Arthur admits, sighing. "I met him yesterday, in Mrs. Greenwood's office. I'd never seen him before, so he's new, and he's just..." he trails off.
She arches an eyebrow at that. "He refused to tell you his name? Huh. Well, what does he look like?"
"My height, thin, short hair that's dark like yours, blue eyes, cheekbones that could shape glass," Arthur lists off the boy's traits. "He had a cut on one of them, actually," he adds, absently staring out the window. In his mind Arthur can picture the boy clearly, especially the moment when he boy was yelling at him. "And he told me off for being a jock."
"Really?" Morgana asks, laughing. "Wow, I like him already."
"Yeah," he says, grinning at the picture in his head. "His eyes were flashing, and his hand was waving about as he was yelling. I can't even remember exactly what he said, honestly, he just..." Arthur trails off, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand before shrugging. When he lifts his head again to look at Morgana she's looking at him with a fond expression and he's not quite sure why. "What?"
"Nothing," she says, smiling. "I'm just, kind of glad it's finally happened."
"What's happened?" he asks, confused.
"Well, I'm pretty sure you dated Gwen because it was the thing to do. Start high school, get a girlfriend, you know, the standard small-town high school experience. You dated Elena last year, but it didn't really seem like you were trying with her either. You just did it, like it was another thing expected of you to do. Plus, she made the move to make that happen. I've never seen anyone honestly catch your attention and I'm glad it's happened."
Arthur nods. It's one of the many things he'd realized last night. He's not really surprised that she picked up on it as well. "Guess that's one of life's problems solved, huh?" he throws out, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"I'm excited," she says, suddenly. When Arthur just raises an eyebrow in unspoken question she adds, "Well now we can check out guys together when we go into the city."
"Oh Christ," he says, rolling his eyes as he turns off the motor and grabs his bag from the back seat. "There's no way in hell I'm checking out guys with my sister. Just. No."
"But it'll be fun!" she promises as they both climb out and head toward the school.
"I'm already wishing I hadn't told you," he says, but it's without heat and he knows she can see through it, if the way she reaches over and squeezes his arm briefly is any indication.
Five minutes later Arthur's seated in his usual spot, leaning back in his chair and waiting for class to start, when in walks the boy followed by Freya, the two of them deep in conversation. Arthur's eyes meet the boy's from across the room and for a brief moment Arthur feels his stomach hit the floor - immediately followed by the rest of him as his chair tips over backwards, sending him crashing to the ground. "Oww."
"Arthur, are you all right?" Morgana asks through her laughter, offering him a hand up. Arthur takes it, and when he's standing his gaze returns to the boy, who's now at the teacher's desk in the front of the room collecting the course books. "Arthur?" he hears Morgana ask again, and he nods, his eyes not leaving the boy's profile. Right at that moment Freya says something that causes both their teacher, Mr. Jameson, and the boy to laugh and Arthur watches as the boy's whole face lights up with it.
"That him then?" Morgana asks. Arthur finally turns toward her, meeting her gaze with his own. He swallows, glances back to the front of the room for a moment at the boy, and nods. "Well," she says, squeezing his hand before letting go, "I can see why." She gives him a smile before turning back to the table, moving her things over a place and leaving two seats empty between them for Freya and the boy.
When Freya takes the seat next to Morgana, leaving the one next to Arthur free, Arthur gives a silent cheer. He opens his mouth to say hello but at that moment Mr. Jameson begins class and so Arthur just nods to them both, receiving a wave in return from Freya and a tense smile from the boy as he sits down.
Arthur does his best to focus on the lesson, but he knows World War I like the back of his hand and is finding it difficult to keep his attention on anything other than the boy seated beside him. He eventually gives up and flips his notebook over to a blank page, writing a note and sliding it over toward the boy. So what does one have to do around here to learn your name?
The boy's so engrossed in his own note-taking that it takes him a full minute to even notice the notebook, and that's only after Arthur taps the side of the boy's shoe with his own. The boy's eyes glance toward Arthur, and then down at the notebook, reading quickly. Arthur sees him roll his eyes but he does reach over and scribble a quick reply before turning back to his own notes. I hate history.
Arthur arches an eyebrow and writes back, I hate history? Interesting name, have a nickname for that? IH2, perhaps? He slides the notebook back toward the boy, who this time looks over immediately, as if he'd been waiting for it.
Arthur grins when he hears the soft snort of laughter and plays with his pen while waiting for the boy to write his response. When the notebook is passed back he reads, No. Not my name - a fact. I hate it. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me so that I have a chance at passing? There's a two line space and then another line scribbled below, as if in afterthought, After class, yeah?
Arthur spends the next half-minute trying to decide on the best response, but when he looks over at the boy again he's already returned his attention to the lesson and is ignoring Arthur. Arthur flips the page back to his own sparse notes, letting the conversation go. He still isn't able to concentrate though, so he spends the rest of the lesson studying the boy instead.
While looking at the boy's hands, watching the long fingers of one hand curl around his pen and the fingers of the other hand tracing the words in the book their teacher's periodically reading passages from, Arthur tries to pinpoint what it is exactly about this boy that's changed everything. Sure, Arthur's never seen anyone like him before, anyone whose features are as sharp, as alluring, but is that it? Or is it because the boy is the first person in years to not just instantly smile in Arthur's direction; the first person in years aside from Morgana to challenge him in any way?
Arthur doesn't think he's felt this type of excitement since he was a young boy, opening toys at Christmas. He can't help it, he just wants to know everything there is to know about the boy sitting beside him. To find all the pieces of the puzzle, make them all fit together, and figure out why making the boy smile currently feels like the most important task in Arthur's life.
Arthur's shaken from his own musings when class finally ends. He packs up his things before turning to the boy. "So, IH2, what's your next class?"
The boy looks toward Arthur, amused expression on his face. "Still a puppy, I see."
Arthur grins, "I like puppies, they're endearing."
"Yeah, they are," the boy admits, looking away to finish packing up his things.
When the boy shoulders his bag and beings to walk away Arthur calls out after him. "Are you ever going to answer a question I ask?"
The boy turns around, walking backwards toward the door. "French. And it's Merlin."
Arthur grins, pleased with the fact that they have their next class together and that he finally has a name to call the boy. But before he can reply, Merlin reaches the door just as Valiant comes through it, and Arthur watches as Valiant shoves Merlin back into the room with a harsh, "Watch where you're going, faggot."
Arthur immediately moves forward to help Merlin up from where he'd fallen, unable to catch his balance when Valiant had shoved him. In the background Arthur can hear Cenred and Valiant laughing, even while Freya and Morgana are simultaneously calling them pricks and jerks, but Arthur's attention is entirely on Merlin. "All right?"
Merlin nods, eyes downcast, and Arthur notes that the boy's expression has turned back into the one from yesterday in the nurse's office - embarrassed and closed off. It doesn't take much thought to piece it together. Arthur bends down to pick up Merlin's bag and hands it to him. "Well, at least now I get why you told me off. Met the school's resident asses yesterday, did you?" Arthur asks with a light tone, trying to draw Merlin's attention back to him instead of the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Valiant and Cenred watching them both, faces tense, but Arthur ignores them.
"Yeah, we're acquainted," Merlin says sarcastically, re-shouldering his bag.
"Right," Arthur responds. "Later I'll ask you about that and you can keep ignoring my questions." Arthur sends up a silent cheer when Merlin finally looks up and gives him a small smile. He nods toward the door, "For now, though, we'd best get to French or Mr. Broussard will make us conjugate verbs for being late."
"What a travesty," Merlin replies, deadpan. Arthur just grins and follows as Merlin leads the way out of the room. Right before walking through the door he turns back and gives Valiant and Cenred a fake smile and a sarcastic two fingered salute.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Part II
Title: The Ultimate Measure
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Arthur/Merlin, various supporting "legend" characters.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr. Or, the fic where Merlin's the new kid, Arthur's kind of a puppy, and somehow against all odds they end up together happily at prom. (Alternately known as 'see the prompt because author is shite at coming up with summaries.' :-))
Warnings: Possible triggers for homophobia and homophobic violence. Considering the prompt, this is a modern day AU (though not reincarnation), set in America. The boys are 17-18 and in their senior year of high school.
Total word count: 19,500
Original prompt number: 326 - 'There are but two boys in my high school who have openly admitted they are gay. They are constantly spit at and beat on in school, yet the more confident always holds the shyer one's hand. Despite threats, they showed up to prom together, wearing matching suits. Seeing them on the dance floor, ignoring the world GMH.' (Gives Me Hope) - Submitted by vesperdivum.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by the BBC and Shine TV. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's notes: I chose this prompt due to the nature of the topic, which is one that is very important to me personally. Thank you, prompter, for your wonderful prompt. When reveals are up there will be a soundtrack kind of thing for this, for those who're into that. Finally, for those who aren't as familiar with American high schools and are curious about the timeline: Merlin moves late January, basketball tourney first half of March, prom in mid-May - hopefully that helps. :-)
Beta: dreamdustmama - Dear heart, thank you for holding my hand, double-checking Americanisation, and for making sure this didn't totally suck :-) Also, a special thanks to slashweaver for helping with fact checking Arthurian legend. ♥ to you both. Any remaining errors are my own.
The first time Arthur meets Merlin is in the nurse's office after school. Arthur's laying on a cot, bored out of his mind while icing his knee after a slip on the basketball court, when a young man stumbles in, appearing to trip over his own feet despite his downcast eyes. He's cradling his left wrist to his chest and has a nasty cut on one sharp cheekbone. His hair's a complete disaster, he has a rip in one of the knees of his jeans, and he looks like he's about to blow over in a breeze. Arthur's never seen anything quite like him.
"What the hell happened to you?" Arthur asks before he can stop himself.
The boy visibly jumps as if startled, his large blue eyes meeting Arthur's before glancing around the room quickly and looking away again. "Umm... Is the nurse still here?" he asks, and even though the volume is quiet Arthur can pick up a slight accent.
"Yeah, she should be back in a few minutes. I think she's off giving my coach a hard time."
The boy just nods and stands there awkwardly, fidgeting as he looks around the room at anywhere that doesn't seem to include Arthur. "I'll just..." he trails off, motioning over his shoulder toward the door and moving to leave.
"I'm not going to bite, you know," Arthur snaps, and then winces when he sees the young man's shoulders tense. He takes a deep breath and tries again before the boy manages to leave the room. "Look, there's plenty of room in here for the both of us, you don't have to leave. There's a whole other cot on the other side of the curtain." Arthur pulls said curtain back to reveal the cot running nearly adjacent to his along the back wall of the room. "Besides, Mrs. Greenwood will have my head if she thinks I made you wait for her in the hall."
Arthur's honestly a bit surprised when the boy turns back around and nods. He moves into the room and sits on the cot opposite Arthur's, his eyes barely leaving the floor. Arthur takes the opportunity to observe him. He's tall, perhaps just as tall as Arthur himself, but he's thin - a fact which is only accentuated by the multiple layers he's wearing (Arthur counts three) and the baggy jeans. Arthur wonders briefly just how thin the boy is; what he might look like if Arthur managed to get all those layers off of him.
The boy glances up at that moment, catching Arthur looking. When he realizes Arthur's gaze is on him he blushes, clears his throat, and then looks away again quickly. Arthur watches the blush slowly move from the boy's cheeks, to the tips of his large ears, and then down his neck. Before Arthur can stop it, his subconscious adds that blush to the shirtless mental picture and Arthur allows the image to sit in his mind for a moment. Interestingly enough, he doesn't find it repulsive. In fact, he finds the blush adorable and the boy himself stunningly attractive. Arthur rubs his hand over the back of his own neck, determinedly pushing the thoughts away to dwell on later, along with the question of when the hell he started checking out guys.
He sits up and turns sideways on the cot, placing his back to the wall in order to face the young man properly. "So, maybe we could try this again. Hello, I'm Arthur. And you are?" he asks, tone light and laced with amusement.
"You're quite persistent, aren't you?" is the reply, but at least the boy's looking at him now. Well, looking at his knee, anyway.
Arthur lets a full-on grin cross his face. "Yeah well, you're a lot more interesting than watching the second hand on the clock. Did you know the clocks in this school actually stop moving for a bit at 20 minutes and 43 seconds after each hour?"
The boy's mouth opens as if he's going to respond and then snaps shut, a snort coming out in its place. Arthur's pleased to note that his eyes do glance toward the clock though, as if to confirm the tale.
Arthur tries again, "So, I've not seen you before. Today's your first day? I notice you have a bit of an accent. Where'd you move from? And why the hell did you move here? I sure as hell wouldn't move here by choice."
"What makes you assume I had a say in the matter?" comes the quick response, and Arthur notes that the boy's line of sight has moved up to approximately Arthur's chest. He figures at this rate he might see the boy's eyes again by the time they're both 20.
"Touché. Are you a senior?" Arthur asks as he leans his head back against the wall. He notices the boy's eyes shift up a little higher. Neck, he supposes.
"What's with the 20 questions?"
Arthur shrugs. "Persistence? Curiosity? Maybe if I ask enough questions you'll eventually answer one properly. I'll admit I'm not doing so hot though; oh for seven at the moment. Guess I had better make my next 13 more interesting, then. Any teachers you like so far?"
The boy huffs out a laugh, finally meeting Arthur's eyes. "You remind me of a puppy. You're like an over-eager bundle of energy needing attention this very instant."
There's a part of Arthur that thinks he should probably take offense to that, but a larger part grabs hold of the opening and runs with it. "Do you have a puppy?"
Arthur watches as the boy carefully shifts back further on the cot, resting against the wall on his side of the room. "Yes, actually, I do."
"Ha!" Arthur exclaims, happy to have at least something to work with. "What's your puppy's name?"
The boy's head tilts to the side slightly and he graces Arthur with a confused expression, which Arthur finds quite odd. Nearly a whole minute passes and Arthur's certain he'll have to come up with another line of interrogation when the boy finally responds, "Cabal. His name is Cabal."
Arthur raises an eyebrow at that but doesn't push for an explanation; of the pause or of the name. "Huh. And what's your name again? I missed it the first time, what with you ignoring-"
"Look," they boy cuts in out of nowhere, gesturing to Arthur's knee. "Sports injury, right? And you said you had a coach. Sports injuries and coaches means you're a jock. That means you can stop. It's okay; I know the social ladder as well as anyone. I'm the nerd, the geek, whatever your choice word is. You, the aforementioned jock, give me shit, push me into lockers, et cetera. And I, the aforementioned non-jock, I ignore you and complain about you to my fellow non-jocky types. That's how it works. I'd hate to have you disowned by Jocks-R-Us for breaking the age-old tradition."
Arthur finds himself a bit speechless at the end of the boy's rant. As well as amused, if he's honest. He's just not sure if the speechlessness is because of the rant or if it's because he spent the entire length of said rant looking between the boy's flashing blue eyes, his hand waving about, and his full lips. The boy's captivating. After a moment Arthur manages to collect himself and whistles. "Man, must have been one crap first day. Okay, really, what the hell happened to you?"
"Arthur Pendragon! What have I told you about swearing on campus?" comes the unexpected question from the grey-haired woman walking through the door.
"Sorry Mrs. Greenwood," Arthur apologizes automatically. Despite her entrance, he doesn't look away from the boy. Arthur can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment at the look of relief on the boy's face when he realizes he doesn't have to ignore, or respond, to Arthur's question.
"Right. Arthur, I think you should be okay to go. No practice tonight. I don't suppose you'll listen when I tell you to take a week off?" Mrs Greenwood asks, hands on hips and a pointed look in Arthur's direction.
Arthur finally looks towards her. "If I can play, I'm playing. We've got to make regionals, Mrs. Greenwood."
"How many times must I tell you to call me Alice? Now, your coach is just as stubborn as you are, so if you're both going to insist on you playing this week you need to wear a brace. Ice and heat alternately after each practice and game and so help me I will speak to your father if you do not do as I say."
Arthur winces at that. "Yes, Mrs. Greenwood."
"Alice."
Arthur gets up and turns toward the boy one last time. "So, pleasure meeting you. Good luck and everything." As he heads for the exit he calls back over his shoulder, "Thanks, Mrs. Greenwood."
"Insufferable! That boy, just like his mother," he hears her say softly and Arthur smiles as he walks away. After a moment he can hear Mrs. Greenwood turn towards the boy and start in with, "Well then. Hello. As you've heard, I'm Mrs. Greenwood, but please call me Alice. Let's have a look and get you fixed up. How about you tell me what happened, dear?"
It takes every ounce of his self-control not to stop and listen but he keeps walking, instead returning to his thoughts from earlier. Arthur allows the mental image of the boy, shirtless, lips parted and that blush covering him, to take over in his mind. Now that he's actually thinking about it, he's shocked that the concept of being with a guy didn't occur to him earlier, what with how appealing the idea of being with this guy seems to be. An idea that's leaps and bounds more appealing than being with either of the girls he's been with. Huh. Well that explains why things didn't work out with Gwen. Or Elena, Arthur thinks, before dismissing it again and returning to the gym to watch the remainder of practice.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Merlin spends the first part of the freezing cold, two mile walk home coming up with ideas of how to get out of ever returning to that school. They range from dropping out, getting his G.E.D., and going right to college, to going to live with his dad in Japan or wherever he is these days, to actually ringing his ex-boyfriend Tristan and going back to Boston to live with him. Merlin bins the Tristan idea immediately. If all Merlin happened to be was the dirty little secret then why would that work out? He bins the dad idea too since he knows he'll never leave his mother. That, and he doesn't know a single word of Japanese. He shelves the idea of dropping out to ponder some more later, though. Maybe if he comes up with a good argument by morning his mom will go for it. He sighs and makes a resolution to just focus on school work, to make it through to graduation and ignore everything and everyone else. Four months, he thinks. I can do four months.
Burrowing deeper into his coat to try to avoid the wind, Merlin tries to come up with anything good about the day to focus on. It might help cheer him up, or help him forget about the cold, at least. He figures his classes will be all right and his teachers all seem fairly decent so far, willing to work with him to get him caught up quickly. Merlin's aware that sometimes starting a new school in the middle of term can mess up one's grades, especially when one's classes consist entirely of Advanced Placement courses. Merlin's grateful that it doesn't seem like that will happen, though he won't know that for certain until after tomorrow. By the time he'd made it to school that morning, finished registration, and received the standard tour, it had already been lunch time and he'd missed half his classes for the day.
It's only so long he can distract himself with trivial thoughts of classes, professors, and schedules though, before his mind turns to the other events of the day, mainly Arthur. Merlin groans aloud when he remembers the meeting in the nurse's office. Then he wonders how the hell he managed to forget it for even a moment. Merlin may be inclined to think Arthur's nosy and ridiculously over-eager, but one thing is completely undeniable: Arthur is gorgeous.
Merlin's still not quite sure how he managed to get by without making a complete fool of himself. He figures it was probably aided by the fact that he could barely talk at first, as he'd been so stunned by how one person could embody his exact type. A type that, until two hours ago, he didn't even realize he had. But apparently Arthur's it. Tall, blond, obviously athletic and fit, (something Merlin managed to figure out very quickly, what with the shorts and the tight t-shirt Arthur had been wearing) and he seemed to honestly be a decent guy - despite the jock thing. Merlin's still wary about that since he doesn't believe there is such a thing as a nice jock.
Great, Merlin thinks, a bit petulantly. First day and I manage to get outed, get the crap kicked out of me, and gain a crush on a blond Adonis who's probably the straightest guy in school. I bet he's dating the head cheerleader. Brilliant.
When Merlin finally makes it home the driveway's empty, his mother having already left for her job as a night nurse at the local hospital. He quickly buries a sudden wave of guilt, determinedly telling himself that it's because he missed her and not because he'd stopped to see Alice instead of coming home to be treated. There'll be fewer questions this way; he's never been good at lying to his mom, and the last thing he wants is to worry her.
He's barely through the front door when he hears Cabal racing down the hallway and bounding through the living room to meet him. "Hey there buddy," he says while reaching down to pet the yellow lab. At least someone's happy to see me today, he thinks. "I suppose you're ready for a walk, aren't you? All right then, let me just get something warmer on and we'll go before it gets too dark and I get us lost."
Two minutes later he's back outside, Cabal bounding ahead of him and disappearing around the snow bank at the end of the drive. As he reaches the bottom of the driveway himself he's surprised when he nearly trips over Cabal, who's sitting on the street, tail wagging, and currently being fawned over by a girl with long, brown hair and warm, brown eyes. "What's his name?" she asks while rubbing the dog's head and neck briskly with both mitten covered hands.
"Um, Cabal," Merlin manages once he's managed to over his surprise at seeing someone else willingly outside in the freezing cold. "And I hope you're prepared for a new best-friend because he's going to love you forever for that." Merlin gestures to her petting the dog.
She laughs and stands up, letting the dog head off to run about a bit. "I remember seeing you in two of my classes this afternoon, so when I saw you come home I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. I'm Freya," she says as she extends her hand toward him to shake.
"Merlin," he responds, taking her hand. "Sorry I didn't recognize you, bit of a crazy day. I was happy to just find my classes on time," he admits sheepishly.
"Oh it's okay! I just thought, you know, since we're neighbors too I should come and say hi. Do you need to take him for a walk? There's a little park a block that way, if you didn't know." She points over Merlin's shoulder in the opposite direction. "He could run around and you could stand there trying not to freeze," she says with a smile.
"Thanks. Yeah, he could probably use it." Merlin's trying to figure out how to say goodbye without seeming rude but realizes if she's made this much effort, maybe he could try a bit too. "Um, I'm sure you have something better to do but you're welcome to join me, if you want?" She agrees quickly and they head toward the park, Cabal running ahead of them. Merlin spends nearly the whole way there trying to think of something to say. "So what classes do we have together then?" he asks, finally.
"Music Theory and AP Calculus. Has to be rough transferring an AP course mid-term," she says with sympathy. "But Mr. Kilgharrah is awesome and I'm sure he'll work with you in calc. And based on Mrs. Pearson's Q&A with you this afternoon, you'll be fine in music."
He smiles, "Yeah music should be all right. As for calc, I'm honestly not too worried about that class; math is my favorite subject." They've reached the park at this point and Merlin lets Cabal off his leash to run around. He sits down on a bench and tosses the ball out as far as he can for Cabal to go and find before continuing, "I'm more worried about AP Chemistry, World History, and English Lit. I won't know where I sit with those classes until tomorrow, and you guys are about two weeks ahead of my old school since you started school earlier in the fall."
Freya looks down at him in shock, "Five AP courses? Are you serious?"
"Six, actually. I have AP French, too. And a study hall."
"Your entire course load is AP? You can't be serious."
Merlin just nods as Cabal brings him the ball back and he throws it out again, watching the dog run after it.
"You're insane," she says as she sits down beside him on the bench.
Merlin chuckles. "Yeah, been told as much."
"What about extras?"
He shrugs. "Ran track in the fall, don't do any others. Course work keeps me busy enough."
"Wow," she says. "Well, with that many APs you should join our study group! There are nine of us total, though none of us have as many AP courses as you do. We usually break into smaller groups of like 3 or 4, depending on what we need to work on. We meet two or three times a week, based on everyone's schedule and what's going on with courses. Everyone's super nice, I'm sure there would be no problem. I can introduce you to everyone tomorrow, if you want?"
"Um, yeah, maybe. I could meet everyone and see how it goes," he says, a bit awkwardly. He's never really been great with meeting people.
"Great, I can't wait for you to meet everyone. Morgana and Arthur will be in World History with you. I have that class too, by the way. And if you're in English Lit, they have that one too, along with Gwen, Gwaine and Will. Morgana and Gwen have chem with you too."
Merlin looks back to her quickly at the mention of Arthur. There must be more than one Arthur in the school, right? he thinks, but decides to be sure. "Tall, blond, asks a million questions, Arthur?"
"Yeah, Arthur Pendragon. Have you met? You might have, sometimes he gives the registration tours to new students, what with him being class president and all. I know he and Morgana were out this afternoon, but they have AP Calc with us too."
Merlin groans and rubs his hand over his face, "Yeah, we've met. Sort of."
Freya gives him an odd look, "Now what did he do?"
"That sounds ominous."
"No, it's not. Arthur's a very, very good guy. He's just..." she trails off searching for a word to describe him.
"Over-eager, like a puppy?" Merlin supplies with a laugh, pointing toward Cabal.
"Exactly! He just tries too hard, sometimes, to make people feel comfortable and it ends up having the opposite effect. Not everyone can be as calm and together as him, and his confidence throws people off," she says.
Merlin takes a moment to digest that, trying to piece the day's earlier encounter together with the way Freya's describing him. "Class president, huh? I didn't picture him as the class pres or AP course type," Merlin supplies finally, when he can't think of anything else.
"He's class president because he's a natural leader and everyone adores him. He's good for that spot. And, well, he's scary smart, actually. He's the only reason I'll pass history, I think. He's just good at everything," she says. Then after a moment she adds, "Except math. He hates math. Makes every excuse he can to get out of calc, actually."
Merlin laughs. "Why's he in it then?"
"I talked him into it, promised to help him pass. Plus if he passes the test he won't need to take a math credit in college. That kind of sold the deal for him," she says with a grin.
Merlin shakes his head; that last bit had sounded more like the guy he thought he'd met. "So you do the math tutoring in your little group then?"
"Yep, everyone else hates it. Which, I'm kind of hoping you'd be willing to help with?" she admits. "It's just, there are a lot of them and they're at two different levels too, which can get confusing."
Merlin takes a deep breath before exhaling loudly. "I don't know, Freya," he says with a sigh. "Jocks and I don't really get along. I've already told Arthur off once over it, actually." He looks toward her again and blinks, taken aback at the sad look on her face.
"So..." she starts and then trails off as if unsure how to proceed. "So I saw what happened today after school, with Cenred and Valiant. You left so quickly I couldn't talk to you then, but it's part of why I came to talk to you," she admits softly.
Merlin just sighs. "I really don't want to talk about that."
"No, that's fine," she rushes to soothe, "it's just... are you all right?"
"Yeah. Just a sprain, and the cut," he gestures to his cheek.
"You should report them, you know. I'd go with you, if you want-"
"I'd rather not add fuel to the fire," he says, cutting her off.
She looks as if she's going to argue that, but after a moment she nods. "Well, I don't know if something happened at your old school to make you hate the 'jocks,'" she says, complete with air quotes, "but I get why you'd say that based on what happened today. I just want you to know that if what they said is true, about you being gay, I mean... well, I don't care."
Merlin studies her face as she's talking and she looks so earnest and eager for him to believe her that he has a hard time not doing so. So he lets her continue, uninterrupted. "And I know no one in the group would care, if you chose to tell them. Sure there are five guys in the group and they all play basketball, but I promise they're all perfectly respectable. I would know, my boyfriend's one of them," she says with a grin.
Merlin turns away and calls for Cabal, suddenly feeling the need to just get home and be alone with this thoughts. One last question he feels the need to ask, though. "So, is Arthur the one of them that's your boyfriend then?"
"Oh, no," she says as she leans down to attach the leash to Cabal's collar for Merlin. "Arthur isn't seeing anybody right now. We tease him sometimes and call him the 9th wheel, seeing as the rest of us are actually together and he never really dates anyone. My boyfriend's name is Will. I'll introduce you to him tomorrow."
"Hmm," is the only response Merlin can come up with at the moment and so he lets the conversation lapse. The walk home is short, but he spends the time digesting everything she's said and he's glad when she seems to realize he just needs a moment to think.
When they reach the end of his driveway she turns to him one last time, "Merlin... Will, Arthur, and the other guys, they're really not like Cenred and Valiant. I hope you'll give them a chance to prove that. Will you at least think about the group?"
"Yeah," he agrees. He figures he can at least give her that much, after she's tried so hard.
"Thank you. So... want a ride to school tomorrow?" she asks, holding up a set of keys in her hand and jiggling them for emphasis.
"Well hell, if you'd opened with that I'd have agreed immediately," he jokes, a wide smile gracing his features.
She laughs as she starts walking away. "Pick you up tomorrow at 8 then."
"All right," he agrees. "And thanks."
She waves as she heads across the street to her own house, and as Merlin lets himself and Cabal back inside he can't help but wonder what he's just managed to get himself into. Absolutely nothing in Freya's conversation has dissuaded the little crush he's got going for Arthur. If anything, it's only made matters worse with the hope that maybe Arthur really is a decent guy. And now Merlin knows that Arthur's in at least four of his classes, along with the fact that Merlin may or may not be seeing him in study groups as well.
I'm so screwed, Merlin thinks, and bangs his head against the closed door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Everyone's allowed to feel suicidal at some point in their life, but could you not take me along with you?"
Arthur blinks, startled from his own thoughts, and glances at Morgana for a moment before returning his eyes to the road, "Sorry, what?"
"You just ran that light. Could you not kill me in your attempts to end your own life?"
Arthur's eyes move to the rear-view mirror just in time to see the traffic lights behind them turn from red to green. "Fuck," he says eloquently, rubbing a hand over his face before returning it to the wheel.
"Jesus, Arthur, what's with you? You barely said two words at dinner last night, immediately after which you locked yourself in your room, and now your eyes are completely bloodshot. You look like an addict. Did you get any sleep last night?"
"I've just got something on my mind, that's all," he says, hoping she'll let it go.
"Bull. That might work on Dad but not on me. Out with it," she demands.
Arthur glances sideways again to see she's turned in her seat to look at him, a concerned expression gracing her features. He knows she means well, and he feels bad for worrying her, he's just not sure he's ready to say it all out loud. It's not that he thinks she'll be upset, or think of him any differently, he's just not quite sure how to say in casual conversation, Oh, don't worry, I just spent the night analyzing every person in my life in an attempt to classify my sexuality. Before decided that classifications are ridiculous, that is. "Morgana-"
"Don't you dare 'Morgana' me in that patronizing tone, I hate that tone. Something is obviously wrong and you are going to tell me before we get out of this vehicle," she says as he turns into the school parking lot.
"Anyone ever told you that you should be a lawyer?" he asks while pulling into an empty parking space.
"Yes, every day. Quit trying to change the subject."
He barks out a short laugh. "Wouldn't work even if I did, would it? I'm not trying to change the subject I'm just..." he trails off, putting the SUV in park but leaving the engine running for the heat.
"Stalling?" she supplies helpfully.
"Yeah, maybe," he shrugs.
"It's not drugs is it? I know I was joking about you looking like an addict but if it really is drugs, I'm going to hit you, just so you're prepared."
"No, Morgana, it's not drugs," he says, rolling his eyes.
"Okay good." She allows a brief few seconds of silence before throwing another question out, "Well, is it the calc test on Friday? Freya and I both told you we'd help you study."
"It's got nothing to do with classes, or school for that matter."
"Well, what the hell is wrong then?" she demands exasperatedly.
"If you'd shut up for two seconds maybe I'd tell you." Arthur ignores the glare he gets for that when it works and she stops asking questions, waiting for him to continue. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I'm just not sure where or how to begin," he admits, looking out the window behind her.
"I knew it, you're quitting school to join a Seminary."
He snorts at that. "You really need to quit watching those crazy soap operas."
"Maybe," she admits with a grin, "but it got you to stop worrying for a second. Just say it Arthur, do you really think anything you have to say will-"
"What would you say if I said I think I'm gay?" he interrupts before she can get too far into her speech. Well, that could have come out more smoothly, he thinks, wincing.
"I'd say I want to meet him."
Arthur's taken aback by the instant response; she hadn't even blinked. "Sorry, what?" is all he can ask, speechless. He was expecting at least some kind of reaction.
Arthur watches as she unbuckles her seatbelt and turns in the seat to face him fully. "I would say, and am saying, by the way, that I want to meet the guy responsible for making you figure it out."
"Well, what if there is no guy?" he asks, still trying to recover.
"It's possible, that's true, but you're not really one to dwell on things without prompting. You're one of those people who just rolls with things as they come along. So if you've suddenly had an epiphany that you're gay, I'm pretty sure something or someone caused it."
"You're kind of freaky when you do that, you know? The whole 'know someone better than they know themselves' thing."
"You're stalling again. Quit it, class starts in 20. What's his name?" she asks, trying to help him out.
"I don't even know, he wouldn't tell me," Arthur admits, sighing. "I met him yesterday, in Mrs. Greenwood's office. I'd never seen him before, so he's new, and he's just..." he trails off.
She arches an eyebrow at that. "He refused to tell you his name? Huh. Well, what does he look like?"
"My height, thin, short hair that's dark like yours, blue eyes, cheekbones that could shape glass," Arthur lists off the boy's traits. "He had a cut on one of them, actually," he adds, absently staring out the window. In his mind Arthur can picture the boy clearly, especially the moment when he boy was yelling at him. "And he told me off for being a jock."
"Really?" Morgana asks, laughing. "Wow, I like him already."
"Yeah," he says, grinning at the picture in his head. "His eyes were flashing, and his hand was waving about as he was yelling. I can't even remember exactly what he said, honestly, he just..." Arthur trails off, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand before shrugging. When he lifts his head again to look at Morgana she's looking at him with a fond expression and he's not quite sure why. "What?"
"Nothing," she says, smiling. "I'm just, kind of glad it's finally happened."
"What's happened?" he asks, confused.
"Well, I'm pretty sure you dated Gwen because it was the thing to do. Start high school, get a girlfriend, you know, the standard small-town high school experience. You dated Elena last year, but it didn't really seem like you were trying with her either. You just did it, like it was another thing expected of you to do. Plus, she made the move to make that happen. I've never seen anyone honestly catch your attention and I'm glad it's happened."
Arthur nods. It's one of the many things he'd realized last night. He's not really surprised that she picked up on it as well. "Guess that's one of life's problems solved, huh?" he throws out, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"I'm excited," she says, suddenly. When Arthur just raises an eyebrow in unspoken question she adds, "Well now we can check out guys together when we go into the city."
"Oh Christ," he says, rolling his eyes as he turns off the motor and grabs his bag from the back seat. "There's no way in hell I'm checking out guys with my sister. Just. No."
"But it'll be fun!" she promises as they both climb out and head toward the school.
"I'm already wishing I hadn't told you," he says, but it's without heat and he knows she can see through it, if the way she reaches over and squeezes his arm briefly is any indication.
Five minutes later Arthur's seated in his usual spot, leaning back in his chair and waiting for class to start, when in walks the boy followed by Freya, the two of them deep in conversation. Arthur's eyes meet the boy's from across the room and for a brief moment Arthur feels his stomach hit the floor - immediately followed by the rest of him as his chair tips over backwards, sending him crashing to the ground. "Oww."
"Arthur, are you all right?" Morgana asks through her laughter, offering him a hand up. Arthur takes it, and when he's standing his gaze returns to the boy, who's now at the teacher's desk in the front of the room collecting the course books. "Arthur?" he hears Morgana ask again, and he nods, his eyes not leaving the boy's profile. Right at that moment Freya says something that causes both their teacher, Mr. Jameson, and the boy to laugh and Arthur watches as the boy's whole face lights up with it.
"That him then?" Morgana asks. Arthur finally turns toward her, meeting her gaze with his own. He swallows, glances back to the front of the room for a moment at the boy, and nods. "Well," she says, squeezing his hand before letting go, "I can see why." She gives him a smile before turning back to the table, moving her things over a place and leaving two seats empty between them for Freya and the boy.
When Freya takes the seat next to Morgana, leaving the one next to Arthur free, Arthur gives a silent cheer. He opens his mouth to say hello but at that moment Mr. Jameson begins class and so Arthur just nods to them both, receiving a wave in return from Freya and a tense smile from the boy as he sits down.
Arthur does his best to focus on the lesson, but he knows World War I like the back of his hand and is finding it difficult to keep his attention on anything other than the boy seated beside him. He eventually gives up and flips his notebook over to a blank page, writing a note and sliding it over toward the boy. So what does one have to do around here to learn your name?
The boy's so engrossed in his own note-taking that it takes him a full minute to even notice the notebook, and that's only after Arthur taps the side of the boy's shoe with his own. The boy's eyes glance toward Arthur, and then down at the notebook, reading quickly. Arthur sees him roll his eyes but he does reach over and scribble a quick reply before turning back to his own notes. I hate history.
Arthur arches an eyebrow and writes back, I hate history? Interesting name, have a nickname for that? IH2, perhaps? He slides the notebook back toward the boy, who this time looks over immediately, as if he'd been waiting for it.
Arthur grins when he hears the soft snort of laughter and plays with his pen while waiting for the boy to write his response. When the notebook is passed back he reads, No. Not my name - a fact. I hate it. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me so that I have a chance at passing? There's a two line space and then another line scribbled below, as if in afterthought, After class, yeah?
Arthur spends the next half-minute trying to decide on the best response, but when he looks over at the boy again he's already returned his attention to the lesson and is ignoring Arthur. Arthur flips the page back to his own sparse notes, letting the conversation go. He still isn't able to concentrate though, so he spends the rest of the lesson studying the boy instead.
While looking at the boy's hands, watching the long fingers of one hand curl around his pen and the fingers of the other hand tracing the words in the book their teacher's periodically reading passages from, Arthur tries to pinpoint what it is exactly about this boy that's changed everything. Sure, Arthur's never seen anyone like him before, anyone whose features are as sharp, as alluring, but is that it? Or is it because the boy is the first person in years to not just instantly smile in Arthur's direction; the first person in years aside from Morgana to challenge him in any way?
Arthur doesn't think he's felt this type of excitement since he was a young boy, opening toys at Christmas. He can't help it, he just wants to know everything there is to know about the boy sitting beside him. To find all the pieces of the puzzle, make them all fit together, and figure out why making the boy smile currently feels like the most important task in Arthur's life.
Arthur's shaken from his own musings when class finally ends. He packs up his things before turning to the boy. "So, IH2, what's your next class?"
The boy looks toward Arthur, amused expression on his face. "Still a puppy, I see."
Arthur grins, "I like puppies, they're endearing."
"Yeah, they are," the boy admits, looking away to finish packing up his things.
When the boy shoulders his bag and beings to walk away Arthur calls out after him. "Are you ever going to answer a question I ask?"
The boy turns around, walking backwards toward the door. "French. And it's Merlin."
Arthur grins, pleased with the fact that they have their next class together and that he finally has a name to call the boy. But before he can reply, Merlin reaches the door just as Valiant comes through it, and Arthur watches as Valiant shoves Merlin back into the room with a harsh, "Watch where you're going, faggot."
Arthur immediately moves forward to help Merlin up from where he'd fallen, unable to catch his balance when Valiant had shoved him. In the background Arthur can hear Cenred and Valiant laughing, even while Freya and Morgana are simultaneously calling them pricks and jerks, but Arthur's attention is entirely on Merlin. "All right?"
Merlin nods, eyes downcast, and Arthur notes that the boy's expression has turned back into the one from yesterday in the nurse's office - embarrassed and closed off. It doesn't take much thought to piece it together. Arthur bends down to pick up Merlin's bag and hands it to him. "Well, at least now I get why you told me off. Met the school's resident asses yesterday, did you?" Arthur asks with a light tone, trying to draw Merlin's attention back to him instead of the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Valiant and Cenred watching them both, faces tense, but Arthur ignores them.
"Yeah, we're acquainted," Merlin says sarcastically, re-shouldering his bag.
"Right," Arthur responds. "Later I'll ask you about that and you can keep ignoring my questions." Arthur sends up a silent cheer when Merlin finally looks up and gives him a small smile. He nods toward the door, "For now, though, we'd best get to French or Mr. Broussard will make us conjugate verbs for being late."
"What a travesty," Merlin replies, deadpan. Arthur just grins and follows as Merlin leads the way out of the room. Right before walking through the door he turns back and gives Valiant and Cenred a fake smile and a sarcastic two fingered salute.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Part II