When Arthur Found Out - Present - Part B
Second part of the Present fics - do not vote in this post!
Fic L (G - 741 words)
This is not what he’d been expecting when they had left Camelot. After all, what are the chances of heading off on another quest for another priceless artefact on the orders of the King and meeting bloody Gwaine?
Again?
This was probably all Merlin’s fault, Arthur thought uncharitably while smushing Gwaine’s head against the floor. Everything was so bloody simple before he came blundering along.
Before Merlin appeared, he wouldn’t care about servants, he would never have brought someone along on a strictly confidential journey, he wouldn‘t have dreamed of risking his life for someone from such a low station, and he definitely wouldn’t be brawling with a drunkard for the entertainment of slavers when he should be ensuring the safety of his kingdom.
A drunkard who really, really needed to think his plans through before he made them.
Merlin should get some better friends.
“Finish him!”
Jarl the Absolute Wanker was spoiling for blood.
Arthur readied himself. He wasn’t about to murder Gwaine, and Gwaine wouldn’t murder him (probably), so Jarl of the Kind Of Small Teeth In Relation To His Face was going to try and kill them both. Well, he wasn’t going down without a fight. Hopefully Merlin could get himself out in the confusion.
Why was he thinking of him again?
And then there was fire.
One of the large lanterns leapt up like dragon’s breath and caught the Ropes of Absolutely No Purpose Whatsoever alight above their heads. It was unnatural; it had to have leapt up a good two feet to actually do so. And the lantern just kept going, and going, until the network of plot devices were all roaring with flame, which ropes are not wont to doing, really.
It had to be sorcery. But who would do that to their own base while they were still in it?
Merlin was waiting for them at a door and ushered them out, following close behind as they escaped.
Absolutely no-one else was going the same way as them. That… concerned Arthur a little. Was it the wrong way? Ah well, even if it was,stone didn’t usually burn. The fire might not spread to wherever they were heading, outside or otherwise. They’d find a way out of the castle, and this time Arthur wouldn’t leave the planning up to Gwaine.
_________________________________________________________________________
Find a way out they did.
Arthur took a childish satisfaction in beating Gwaine to freedom.
That satisfaction eked away as Gwaine and Merlin poked holes in his efforts to keep their quest professional, leaving nothing but his ego and pride to keep him up.
Oh, and really, Merlin? Just tell him about our secret mission from the King, never mind the fact that Arthur wasn’t even supposed to tell Merlin in the first place. That’d be a great idea.
And no, the fact that “It’s Gwaine” didn’t make it all better.
No, he was not petulant. He was justifiably upset, which was completely excusable and befitting the Crown Prince of Camelot. And he was not bickering with Gwaine, no. He was having a perfectly manly and level-headed discussion about who was the better swordsman. It was an essential part of their professions! It was not childish in the slightest.
So Merlin had no reason to butt into it the way that he did, with his surprisingly logical point annoying face, extolling the virtues of that sorcerer-begotten fire like it was his own achievement that had been cast aside--
Oh.
On its own, it would have been something that Arthur could dismiss. He would have reasoned that Merlin just was angry that he couldn’t contribute to their escape, and carry on, like he always did. But then he thought of the last few years, and wondered.
A lot of things that hadn’t really added up at the time now made a hell of a lot more sense.
It was like…. It was like brushing feathers off his shoulder, thinking that they just appeared out of nowhere, until one day he finally looked over and a huge bloody falcon was sitting there, fighting off a hawk (he thought it was like that, anyway. That sort of thing didn’t really happen all the time to him, and Arthur would grudgingly admit that he wasn’t very good at similes).
Alright.
Alright.
He could handle this.
But later.
He’d talk to him later.
When they weren’t in immediate danger.
(So it didn’t happen for a long time.)
Fic M (PG - 5447 words)
The throne of Camelot had been taken back, but while there was a vast feeling of relief there was no celebration. Instead Gaius worked long into each night, crushing herbs and mixing potions over flames which might bring Uther’s mind from its withdrawal.
Nothing seemed to be effective.
Dressed in long red capes, knights and guards patrolled the castle and the town, putting the people at ease and looking to see which places needed the most attention. If they weren’t on patrol, they were assisting with the clean-up, moving the rubble of fallen castle walls, salvaging what they could and making sure the areas were secure at all times. Percival in particular appeared to be especially in his element, pushing aside the larger broken pieces of stone with more ease than the rest of them.
“He’s getting a bit of a following,” Merlin found himself smiling as he spokequietly to Lancelot and nodded over to where Percival worked. Nearby stood a small group of young women from the town, gathered close together, whispering and giggling amongst themselves. Percival worked on, keeping his head bowed so as not to notice them there. But Merlin saw the red tint on the tips of his ears.
“So I see,” Lancelot chuckled lightly, smiling and shaking his head. “He may well have to get used to the attention.”
Merlin hummed in agreement and looked around quickly. One assured nobody was watching them, for he and Lancelot worked somewhat apart from everybody else, he whispered softly to himself and a pile of rubble dislodged itself, sliding out of the way to where it could easily be gathered and got rid of.
“Merlin!” Lancelot looked around in alarm, keeping his voice down. “Should you be doing that?”
“It’s going to take forever without a little help,” Merlin insisted. “I could probably clear the whole thing with just a single sweep of my hand.”
“But that would be far too obvious,” Lancelot said, a smile playing on his lips again.
“Exactly,” Merlin nodded. “It’s okay, I’ll make sure nobody sees me.”
Lancelot seemed satisfied with this and they continued working on in silence for a little while longer. As he pulled and shifted debris, Merlin thought about how he really could have the whole thing cleared with just one spell. But, of course, if the kingdom woke up the next morning and found everything righted again they would surely suspect witchcraft and Merlin would once again live in fear while they hunted the one responsible.
Even if it was done in order to help, he thought bitterly.
“You know, Merlin, I find myself thinking,” Lancelot said, slowly, trying to pick his words carefully. “Perhaps now is the time you should tell Arthur about what you really are.”
Merlin very almost dropped the armful of rubble and wood he had gathered in surprise. He looked around, but still nobody seemed to really noticing them. They were all busy working away at their own tasks. But Merlin ducked his head down and said quietly, almost hissing; “what? I can’t do that, Lancelot, not now!”
“I know it doesn’t seem like the best time-“
“Not the best time?! Arthur has just watched magic corrupt Morgana to betray him! I can’t just tell him about myself now. He’d string me up before I even finished saying the word ‘magic’!”
“Have more faith in him than that,” Lancelot tried to reason. “You’re his closest friend, are you not Merlin? Anything you could possibly tell him, I’m sure he’d understand.”
“I don’t think he’d understand that I’ve been lying to him ever since I knew him!” Merlin said. Panic was beginning to settle in at the very thought of Arthur’s wide eyes, the pained and betrayed look and then the call for guards to arrest him. “And now it will all be worse than ever! Uther will send out his army to find and destroy anybody and anything magic within a hundred miles of Camelot, I just know it!”
“And perhaps that’s why this is the right time to tell him,” Lancelot said, watching Merlin with some understanding. “For Arthur to be a good king he must gain the trust of those wrongly made enemies by his father. You’re the only one who can restore his faith in magic.”
Merlin dumped his armful with a heavy sigh. What Lancelot told him made sense and Merlin knew that. But Lancelot just wasn’t aware of everything which had happened between Merlin and Arthur over the past few years. With the way things were, a simple apology and show of remorse just wouldn’t do if Arthur considered Merlin’s magic an absolute act of betrayal.
He shook his head. “I don’t know, Lancelot. It just… it’s not as simple as just telling him anymore.”
“You must do what you judge to be right,” Lancelot said, placing a comforting hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “But whatever you decide, I will stand by you Merlin. And if anything goes wrong, I will help you get out.”
“And what of your loyalty to Arthur?”
“My loyalty is to what I know to be right,” said Lancelot. “And you need to do what you feel is the right thing as well.”
“I know,” Merlin nodded his head.
They said no more about it for a little while and continued to work on in silence. As he lifted and carried and cleared things aside, Merlin thought about Arthur. He was busy taking over the duties which his father wasn’t currently fit to see to; organising patrols, meeting with the council and settling disputes. He barely slept but forced himself to keep going and Merlin could see him slowly breaking apart. It hurt, but he had no idea what to do, especially as Arthur so often sent him away to help where he could.
It was the thought of Arthur, with deep shadows under his eyes and such a sad look about him, which caused Merlin to come to his snap decision. There would never truly be a good time for him to tell Arthur the truth, he realised. There would only be when he had the choice and when he didn’t, and Merlin feared the latter.
“I’ll try,” he told Lancelot quietly. “I’ll try to tell him.”
Lancelot looked up at him. “Do you want me to come with you? Just in case?”
“No,” Merlin shook his head. “Thank you, but no. This is something I need to do by myself. It needs to be just between me and Arthur. You’re right, Lancelot, I have more faith in him than that.”
Lancelot nodded and gave Merlin’s arm a comforting squeeze.
As they finished their work, Merlin felt his heart beating wildly. His thoughts were jumbled with fear and trying to hope it would be okay and suddenly not knowing at all what he would say. After so long of imagining so many ways of how it could happen, Merlin found himself facing the cold reality that he really had no idea at all of what he might do or even if Arthur would ever forgive him.
---
As night began to fall, Merlin went to Arthur’s chambers with a tray of sliced meats and fruit. Arthur hadn’t been eating a lot since they took Camelot back, which he claimed to be because he was just too busy running around trying to get things back into order. But Merlin knew it was also because he still felt so upset and betrayed by Morgana. Though he was pleased when Arthur gave him a tired smile and chewed on a slice of ham. As Arthur sat and ate slowly, Merlin set to work with a few chores, making Arthur’s bed and tidying bits of armour about the place.
“How’s your father?” he asked to try breaking the heavy silence he could feel around the room.
“Better,” Arthur nodded. “He sat up and ate a little by himself today.”
Merlin put on a smile as best he could and nodded. “That’s good.”
He continued to work on mostly in silence. His mind buzzed, trying to think of a way he might be able to tell Arthur of his magic and possibly get away with it. But he had no idea how he might even start.
“Merlin,” Arthur said to him, getting up from the table, having eaten half of what was on the plate. He crossed the room to the drawers beside his bed, opened one and pulled out a small vial. “I know you’re terrible at this,” he said, holding up the little bottle. “But there’s an ache in my back which has been plaguing me all day and I can’t for the life of me reach it. You’ll have to rub some of this in.”
Merlin blinked. “Now?”
“No, Merlin,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “At your own convenience.”
Pressing his lips together, Merlin crossed the room to take the vial from Arthur’s outstretched hand. As he pulled the top off and began spreading oil over his palms, Arthur stripped off his shirt and lay face down on his bed.
“Which is it?” Merlin asked, toeing off his boots and climbing up onto the bed as well to straddle Arthur’s hips. He pressed down just by his left shoulder blade. “There?”
“No,” Arthur said, his voice slightly muffled as he pressed his face against his pillows. “Other side.”
“What about that?”
“Just down a little. There, that’s it. Well done, Merlin, that was quicker than usual.”
“Prat,” Merlin muttered, but he felt himself smiling all the same. He pressed his hands flat against Arthur’s back, spreading his fingers, before starting to rub the oil into his skin. He pressed down with his palms and rubbed with the tips of his fingers, spreading the stuff down Arthur’s back. Arthur was right, he wasn’t all that good and Merlin knew it. But he tried as best he could to work away the tension he felt
almost locked into Arthur’s back and shoulders.
But it gave him time to think as he gazed down at Arthur’s bare back with his hands moving over it. He felt the muscle underneath his skin and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and sometimes traced his fingers down a faint scar which ran down just underneath Arthur’s right shoulder blade.
He had Arthur in a complete state of trust, Merlin realised. The prince was barefoot and shirtless, stretched out on his stomach with Merlin practically sat upon his hips. It was just them. There was no damaged castle, no ill father and no constant fear that one of Camelot’s enemies may take advantage of the situation. Therewas no Morgana, no knights and no squabbling nobles.
But there was magic.
Perhaps, Merlin wondered, this was the right moment to finally tell him. But when he opened his mouth fear kept holding him back, freezing the words in his throat.
“Merlin,” Arthur mumbled. “You can stop now.”
“Oh, right,” Merlin pulled his hands away but remained where he was across Arthur’s hips. He pressed his teeth against his bottom lip and then found himself asking; “can I stay with you tonight?”
“Monsters under the bed is it?”
“Arthur!”
“Alright,” Arthur sighed, rolling over just a little so he could peer up at Merlin with one eye. “You can stay with me tonight, if it’ll make you feel better about whatever’s troubling you. But I’m going to sleep now, I’m utterly exhausted.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Looking up, Merlin could see the dark night through the window. With a soft sigh, he climbed off Arthur to pad across the room and close the curtains. As Arthur rolled underneath the covers and pulled them up to his chest, Merlin blew out the candles which kept the room lit. As he did so, he continued to think about Arthur and about his magic.
It must have been frustrating him more than he thought, Merlin considered. He could feel his magic inside him, rippling, reaching and pushing, almost like a caged animal trying to strike out. But Merlin managed to hold it in. Mostly. He did utter a quick spell while he was beside the last lot of candles to put them all out in one go. The smoke rose up and curled in the air and it seemed to have a somewhat golden tint to it. But Merlin dismissed it as perhaps a trick of the light or just the result of being so tired and worried. So as the wisps of smoke drifted through the room, Merlin climbed in beside Arthur, who let him curl up against his chest.
As he felt his heavy eyelids close, Merlin threaded his fingers through Arthur’s hair and kissed him slowly.
When Merlin slept he dreamed of golden smoke. He dreamed of horses in the clouds and bright blue blazing weapons. He dreamed of balls of shining light leading the way through the dark, great dragons ripping through the sky and a sword awaiting the man who could wield it. He dreamed of himself and Arthur, looking out at all the things they had done and all they had yet to do.
---
“Merlin!”
There was a moment where Merlin wasn’t really sure if he was awake or asleep. He was drowsy and his eyes wouldn’t open. His thoughts were sluggish and his head felt heavy and, really, he was happy just to remain asleep.
But then there was the shout of surprise in his ear and the feeling of something pulling away from him, yanking out of his grasp. Jolted awake, Merlin opened his eyes to see Arthur staring at him.
The look in Arthur’s eyes woke him up completely and made him feel cold. A part of Merlin hoped he was still dreaming but, no, it was real.
Then Arthur’s head started to shake slowly and he shifted away from Merlin, still staring at him and Merlin saw so many things in his eyes. But mostly a strange mixture of confusion and fear.
“Merlin,” Arthur said slowly as he sat up, now at the edge of his bed. For a moment Merlin found himself looking at the movement of the blanket as it fell to expose some of Arthur’s chest. Then he looked right back up again, dreading whatever might be coming.
“Merlin… tell me you’re not…”
Something heavy and cold plunged into Merlin’s stomach and his heart began to race. Suddenly he remembered his dreams and how close he had been to Arthur when they had fallen asleep, his fingers through his hair, their lips practically together. Arthur knew. There was no other explanation for how he suddenly stared at Merlin as though he were a total stranger.
“Wha…” Merlin sat up a little, wanting to say so much but when he opened his mouth barely any of it came out. “I… Arthur…”
“What was that Merlin?” Arthur asked. He was perched right on the edge of the bed, ready to leap off it if he had to.
Leap off and grab a weapon, Merlin realised with a chill of dread.
“What was that?” Arthur asked again, more demanding this time. More angry. “Your eyes, Merlin. They were gold for a moment. Tell me what that was!”
But Merlin couldn’t. Everything seemed to have stopped, his heart, his breathing, his very thoughts. Then his mind started to race again, as did his heart and he felt it pounding throughout his body. For a moment he thought he might be able to trick Arthur. Lie to him. Tell him he was still just dreaming or that it was a trick of the light.
Yet he looked back at Arthur, so angry and so confused, and knew he would never believe him. But when he opened his mouth he still couldn’t just tell him. Merlin had no idea how he would even start. An explanation? An apology? Just a statement of, yes, he was magic?
“I…” he tried, desperately thinking of something which might make Arthur stop staring at him like that. “Arthur…”
“You’re magic,” Arthur said, shaking his head again, staring at Merlin in utter disbelief. “Merlin… you’re a sorcerer, aren’t you?”
“Arthur I… I’m sorry, I-“
“For what?” Arthur suddenly snapped and rage clouded over him. Enough for Merlin to shrink down and suddenly fear what could be coming. “For lying to me all this time? For being… this?”
“I’m sorry,” Merlin shook his head. Panic settled in and he could feel himself start to shake. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. I never… you were meant to-“
"Get out!” Arthur suddenly cried, flinging off the covers and stalking across the room, his breeches still slung low on his hips. “Get out of here, Merlin. Before I do something you’ll most certainly regret.”
“Arthur, please!” Merlin continued to plead, sitting up completely. “Please, just let me explain. There’s so much I need to tell you, Arthur. Just let me-“
“Get out!” Arthur snapped angrily, his face twisted with rage. “Leave this room at once, Merlin, before I call the guards!”
Merlin opened his mouth, wanting to plead with Arthur some more, beg for him to listen, start to tell him everything no matter what jumbled mess it all fell out in.
But instead he found himself scrambling from the bed, grabbing his boots, hurrying across the room and opening the door. He wanted to look back at Arthur. Try one last time to explain. But he just couldn’t bare the hate and anger he had seen in Arthur’s eyes.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Merlin ran. He ran as fast as he could, slowing only to pull on his boots, sprinting through the hallways, dodging around knights and nobles and servants. Some seemed startled and jumped out of the way, shouting at him as he passed. But Merlin didn’t stop, didn’t even hear them. He just kept his head down and kept running, even as his breath became short, his chest burned and his legs ached. Merlin wasn’t even sure where he was going, his panicked thoughts were all over the place. He had to get away. But he couldn’t just leave Camelot, could he?
He felt tears burning in the backs of his eyes and became sure any guards he passed were eyeing him suspiciously.
They knew! What if everyone somehow knew?
Merlin kept running aimlessly until, almost at the courtyard, he rounded a corner and hit something hard. As he stumbled back, he cried out and thought he heard someone else grunt in surprise.
As Merlin blinked the tears from his eyes, he realised who it was.
“Lancelot!” he gasped out, not sure he had ever felt so relieved in his entire life.
“Merlin?” Lancelot frowned in concern, taking in Merlin’s distressed state and casting a look at an equally confused Elyan. “Merlin, what happened?”
“It-“Merlin stopped himself as he looked to Elyan, suddenly not sure what to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Elyan, but Arthur accidentally knowing felt bad enough at that moment. He didn’t want anybody else to find out just yet. “I…”
“Go on ahead,” Lancelot said to Elyan, nodding in reassurance. “I’ll be along shortly.”
“Alright then,” Elyan cast one last look at Merlin before going on through to the courtyard. He didn’t look back, but Lancelot and Merlin waited until he was out of sight before Lancelot pulled Merlin aside into the nearest alcove.
“What happened?” Lancelot asked him, holding gently onto his shoulders and bending his head down to speak in a low voice. “Did you tell Arthur?”
“Yes. Well, no. Sort of,” Merlin said, still not thinking straight and his words felt they were coming out in a jumble. “I sort of… well… showed him. But I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know I could do that.”
“Do what?” Lancelot prompted. “What, Merlin? Calm down and tell me.”
“I dreamt of my magic last night,” Merlin explained as best he could as he tried to steady his breathing. “And so did… so did Arthur. I don’t know how, but…” he shook his head. “But he did. He knows about me now.”
“And what did he say?” Lancelot asked. “Did he do anything?”
“No,” Merlin shook his head. “He just asked me if it were all true. And I said-“ a large lump formed in his throat and Merlin swallowed. “And I said yes. Then he just told me to leave.”
“Nothing about the guards or arrest?” Lancelot asked, casting a wary eye to the hallway, but they were still alone.
“No,” Merlin shook his head again. “He didn’t say anything like that.”
“Then we’ll count that as a good thing,” Lancelot said, nodding his head and rubbing Merlin’s arm, trying to calm him. “Perhaps he just needs a bit of time.”
“Can I stay with you?” Merlin suddenly blurted out and asked. “Please, just… just for a little while. Until I know what to do.”
“For as long as you need,” Lancelot reassured him. “I have to patrol the town for a little while. But you can come along with me. Just stay by me and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Merlin nodded and tried to swallow through the large lump in his throat again. If anybody did try to take him away and if Lancelot tried to stop them he would be branded an accomplice. It would truly be the end of his time as a knight and in Camelot. If they escaped.
He could feel it all becoming too much and so Merlin tried to put it from his mind. Instead he just thought of Arthur and how much that look of shock and betrayal had hurt.
As Lancelot lead him away, Merlin found himself holding onto his arm to help steady himself as his legs were starting to tremble. Lancelot put some of his cloak around Merlin’s shoulders, which he shrank into as much as he could to try and remain hidden to everybody else.
---
After a little while, Merlin found himself feeling better. While he had lived in Camelot for a few years now, he’d never really had a chance to just look around, constantly running errands for Gaius or being at Arthur’s beck and call. But now on patrol with Lancelot he got to see all the different trade stands, the centre of the town where there were some cobblestones arranged in decreasing circles, the centre of which were worn, where a maypole was erected every spring. Merlin saw children running with hay dolls and carved wooden toys, dogs with scraggly fur dozing in the shade and houses on the outskirts which sold jams and honey.
And no knights or guards approached them. Lancelot made sure Merlin went to see Gaius once they spotted him delivering medicines, just to let the court physician know he was well after not returning to his own bed the previous night. They met Gwen and Elyan and sat with them to eat bread and slices of meat. Not long after that they ran into Gwaine, who immediately seemed to pick up on Merlin being upset about something and his solution was a few rounds at The Rising Sun. But this was something Lancelot absolutely refused. “Hey, don’t worry about that Arthur,” was Gwaine’s departing advice. “If he upsets you again, let me know and I’ll sort him.”
“He means well,” Merlin said to Lancelot as Gwaine disappeared from view towards the training grounds.
“I know,” Lancelot said, with a raised eyebrow but a small smile upon his face. “You surround yourself with good friends, Merlin. Gwaine wouldn’t let anything happen to you either.”
Merlin pressed his lips together and nodded. He was grateful. But the thought of people losing what they had and perhaps even dying on his behalf made him feel ill and panicked all over again.
---
Then, as the heat of the day was starting to pass, Lancelot and Merlin were crossing the courtyard on their way to find Leon so Lancelot could report in. But they were surprised to see Leon approaching them instead. And when Leon saw them coming, he quickened his step.
“Stay behind me,” Lancelot said to Merlin, coming to a stop, ushering Merlin back and touching against the hilt of his sword. Merlin felt another lump form in his throat and his legs suddenly seemed to be made of lead.
“Prince Arthur has requested that Merlin sees him in his chambers immediately,” Leon said as soon as he approached them and stopped. Then he added; “and he insisted that it must be alone.”
The look in Leon’s eyes seemed somewhat puzzled by that specific instruction and it filled Merlin with dread. It could only be about one thing and Arthur’s anger would have grown throughout the day, especially with a bickering court to keep in order and an ill father to tend to.
“Can I at least accompany him to the door?” Lancelot asked.
“If you wish,” Leon nodded, again seeming somewhat puzzled. “But then you’re needed for a guard patrol around the castle, Lancelot.”
“Of course,” Lancelot bowed his head as a show of his understanding and respect to the head knight. Leon, appearing to be satisfied, went on his way. As they made their way to Arthur’s chambers, Merlin found himself returning to the state he had been in that morning; his legs shaking, his chest tightened with nerves and his mind racing with fear.
“Lancelot, what’s going to happen?” he gasped out quietly, reaching out to grasp Lancelot’s arm. “What will he do to me?”
“I don’t know,” said Lancelot. “But if anything does happen, Merlin, you need to do whatever you can to get away. I’ll hold them off as much as I’m able.”
“Lancelot-“Merlin shook his head and was about to tell Lancelot that he should not risk everything he had ever strived towards just for him. But before he could they were halfway down the hallway to Arthur’s chambers and Lancelot gently took hold of Merlin’s arm.
“Put some trust in Arthur,” he said. “If he wanted you arrested, he could have sent the knights out at any time over the day. Perhaps it won’t be that bad.”
“I hope not,” Merlin sighed, feeling his dread build with each step towards the door. Before he knew it, he was right outside.
“Arthur is your friend,” Lancelot reassured him. “He’ll understand.”
“Maybe eventually,” Merlin said miserably. He raised his hand and knocked so softly he hoped Arthur wouldn’t hear.
But there was a call of “enter!”
As Merlin pushed the door open, he felt Lancelot’s reassuring touch on his back once again but couldn’t bare to look back at him as he stepped into the room.
The door closed behind him and Merlin was alone with Arthur in his chambers. Arthur stood on the other side of the room, with his back to Merlin and gazing out of the window. Merlin stood where he was, straightening his shoulders and raising his chin into the air. If he was going to die here, he suddenly found himself deciding, at least it would be knowing he was finally honest. While he was still very much afraid, he tried to stand proud of this.
Until Arthur turned to look at him over his shoulder and then Merlin felt his shoulders slump. Arthur was still so tired, with dark shadows under his eyes, which looked red and sore. Merlin felt his heart leap into his throat and something cold plunge into his chest as Arthur looked back at him, his eyes flicking up and down and searching Merlin. As though he were looking for something different which hadn’t been there before. But when he couldn’t seem to find it, Arthur frowned and turned completely to face him. Merlin stood frozen to the spot, feeling lanky and awkward with his arms just hanging down by his sides.
“You are…” Arthur said slowly, watching Merlin carefully, “you have magic?”
“Yes.” Merlin nodded. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore, no reason to try and lie. Arthur should know.
Arthur shook his head, his expression crumbling into disappointment. “But why, Merlin? Why would you take up something like that?”
“I didn’t take it up!” Merlin snapped, suddenly feeling a flush of anger. “I’ve always been like this, Arthur, since the day I was born. I’ve always been able to use magic.”
“But you shouldn’t,” said Arthur. “It takes a person, twists them and corrupts them. You’ve seen it. Just look at what it did to Morgana!”
“Morgause is what twisted Morgana!” Merlin argued. “She always had those powers as well! Did it never strike you as odd that none of Gaius’ sleep remedies ever work? Arthur, please, I have known you try to defend magic when it was wrongly persecuted in the past.”
“That was before,” Arthur said, jabbing his finger at Merlin.
“Before what?”
“Before I saw what it could truly be! Before it almost ensnared me to murder my own father! Before one of the people I loved and trusted most in this world was made to betray me!”
“But what about me has changed?” Merlin pressed his palms against his chest. “I’ve had magic before I even knew it.”
“So what are you doing in Camelot?” Arthur shook his head slowly. “Where you know you will be hunted down like a dog and slaughtered if you were ever found out.”
“I stay because I want to be with you and I’m not just going to abandon that,” said Merlin. “I didn’t even know about the laws around magic when I first came here. But I stayed. For you! Not because I wanted revenge for everything Uther has done to people like me. Think about it. How long have I been here, Arthur? How much opportunity have I truly had to kill both you and your father? I’ve had plenty. But I would never do that!”
“But why wouldn’t you?” Arthur said thoughtfully. “After everything he has done to people like you.”
“Because I need you to trust me. More than anything else.”
“I do trust you!” Arthur said and there was a quiver to his voice which made something cold jump right up to Merlin’s throat. Again there was so much in Arthur’s eyes. But mostly hurt and Merlin felt nothing short of absolutely terrible. But then Arthur said something to lift his spirits a little.
“That’s why I won’t see you executed, Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice lowering. “I won’t let a man like you be killed.”
Merlin felt relief. But then he realised what else it could mean.
“Do you…” his eyes dropped to the floor. “I’ll leave if you want.”
“What? No! No, Merlin, I want you to stay here with me.”
Merlin looked up and right into Arthur’s eyes again. And this time he felt more hope. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to be made to leave. Arthur didn’t hate him, he realised, and that brought Merlin so much relief. But Arthur still seemed shaken and Merlin could feel a quiver in his legs as well, where he stood still rooted to the spot, his arms dangling by his sides and feeling useless.
“Come here, Merlin.”
Merlin did as he was asked and approached Arthur. He wasn’t afraid anymore. There was no need for him to be.
When he was within three paces of Arthur, Merlin suddenly came to a stop and fell onto one knee with his head bowed. Ready to receive Arthur’s judgement, whatever it may be. Arthur was his king, his friend, the man he loved. The one he would follow without question because he knew his heart would always want to be in the right place.
What he wasn’t expecting was for Arthur to fall to his knees as well, bringing them down to the same crouched level.
“No, Merlin,” Arthur said, taking hold of Merlin’s shoulders. “You don’t have to bow before me. Not you. I’m nothing without you.”
There were so many things Merlin wanted to say. But again he never got the chance to speak any of it. Because as soon as he opened his mouth, Arthur had dipped his head forward to kiss him. As their dry lips pressed together, Merlin felt the thrum of his heart through his whole body. His world was shaking and his head was spinning so he closed his eyes. It was just them again, just as it always had been. And Merlin would do all he could to make sure it stayed that way.
“Stay with me Merlin,” Arthur whispered when they broke apart. “I need you with me.”
“You’ll always have me,” Merlin told him. He brought his hands up to thread his fingers through Arthur’s hair and kissed him back.
Fic N (PG - 201 words)
It had been only days since Arthur won back Camelot, and already he was king in all but name. Morgana's betrayal had left Uther on the brink of madness - from guilt as much from grief, Arthur knew. No matter what she had done, he couldn't lay all of the blame at Morgana's feet, and he couldn't bring himself to hate her.
Still, he knew it wasn't over; he'd have to face her one day.
He just hadn't expected it to be so soon. Hadn't expected anything but a routine patrol, but she'd been there, nonetheless, appearing from between the trees and stopping in front of him, hand held out in front of her, a ball of light, of magic, coiling in her palm.
Arthur's horse shied away, but it was too late; his hand wasn't even half way to his sword before the light was spinning towards him, far faster than he could have imagined.
And then it stopped.
Merlin took a step forward, tensing against the force of Morgana's magic, pushing the ball of light back towards her. His idiot of a manservant. Practicing magic.
Arthur blinked, and with sudden clarity, he knew.
And there was no going back.
Fic O (PG - 1242 words)
There was a terrible cry of rage as Arthur twisted and struggled, trying frantically to break away. But Lancelot held him firmly, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s chest, pinning his arms to his sides, and digging his heels into the stone floor. Across the room, Merlin stood with his back pressed against the wall, watching in horror.
He hadn’t meant for it to happen. He had been caught out. There was so much to take care of now that Camelot had been reclaimed. Uther’s mind was left shattered by Morgana’s betrayal and so much had been weighted upon Arthur’s shoulders, having to see to the court and where parts of the Great Hall had been destroyed while Morgana and Morgause made their escape.
Merlin had been sent with Lancelot to help try to clear and sort the armoury. There was so much, so Merlin had tried to help by using his magic, making weapons fly through the air into their proper places.
He had thought Arthur was busy attending to matters elsewhere. He hadn’t been expecting him to suddenly walk in.
By the time he turned and saw Arthur watching him, with a look of shock and absolute horror on his face, it was too late. Merlin had been found out.
Before his eyes, Arthur’s face had suddenly clouded over with anger and twisted with rage. Shadows crept over him as the door swung shut.
Then, before Merlin knew it, his back was pressed against the far wall and Lancelot was restraining Arthur, who twisted furiously, trying to escape, and screamed with such rage Merlin feared the doors would burst open any minute and guards would swarm the room to drag him away. But they remained alone.
“Arthur…” he shook his head, a small part of him hoping he would suddenly wake up from such a horrible dream. But no. No, it was all real. Arthur knew. And Arthur hated him. “Arthur, please, it isn’t what it seems.”
“You have magic!” Arthur snarled. “All this time! All this time you have lied to me, Merlin!”
“No!” Merlin shook his head again and felt tears begin to burn in the backs of his eyes. “No, Arthur, please. You must let me explain. There’s so much to tell you.”
“Listen to him,” Lancelot tried to gently interject. “Sire, you must try to understand.”
“You knew!” Arthur tried to round on Lancelot but was still held firmly. “You knew about all this!”
“I did,” Lancelot nodded, his expression crumbling a little with remorse. And Merlin could understand why. While both of them knew what it could mean for Merlin’s magic to become known of, especially in the wake of what Morgana and Morgause had done, both had also talked amongst each other about how Arthur should know sooner rather than later. It would bethe only way to restore his faith in magic. If that didn’t happen, peace would never truly come to Camelot. But each time Merlin became too afraid and would not do it.
“Then you have both betrayed me!” Arthur growled, still twisting in Lancelot’s grip in a bid to free himself. “Let me go, damn you!”
“No. I will not let you do something you’ll only come to regret for the rest of your life,” Lancelot told him. “You care about Merlin too much to do him any harm. And I care too much about both of you to let it happen!”
“You’ve both lied to me!” Arthur screamed in rage. “How can you claim to still care about me after this?”
Arthur was sent into a hysterical rage once again. He screamed and twisted and Merlin could see Lancelot starting to struggle to keep hold of him. As he thought he saw tears start to run down Arthur’s cheeks, Merlin started to cry himself. It was all going wrong. He had never really had an idea of how he would reveal himself to Arthur. But not like this. Not in a way which had suddenly brought so much hatred and rage.
As Arthur howled in anger and snarled curses, Lancelot appeared to be losing his grip upon him. So Merlin watched him do something which made his heart jump up into his throat. Gripping Arthur’s arms tightly, Lancelot suddenly ducked his head down and bit Arthur on his neck, right where it joined with the shoulder.
It brought a sudden stop to the wild thrashing and screaming. A sharp gasp of surprise escaped Arthur’s throat and his eyes went wide as his body jolted with the shock of Lancelot’s sudden action.
Still pressed against the wall and with tears uncontrollably falling from his eyes, Merlin watched as Arthur’s legs seemed to give way and he sank to the floor. Lancelot went down with him, still with his mouth pressed against Arthur’s skin. He appeared to be mumbling something, but Merlin couldn’t hear what it was.
When Arthur was knelt upon the floor, still with Lancelot’s arms around him and still with Lancelot’s mouth against his neck, Merlin finally stepped away from the wall towards them. His body was shaking and his legs felt heavy. He was still afraid and that fear grew in him with each step he took towards Arthur. But he didn’t know what he was afraid of anymore; Arthur possibly wanting him dead or that look of utter betrayal which was still in his eyes.
Arthur knelt on the floor, his eyes out of focus and staring just over Merlin’s shoulder. Tears fell steadily from his eyes and his body seemed to quiver slightly. Lancelot murmured something to him again and then took his mouth from Arthur’s neck. He tightened his grasp on Arthur, pulling him to press the prince’s back close to his chest. He held him with a gentler grip this time, but still made sure he could quickly stop Arthur if he tried to lunge forward again.
“Arthur,” Merlin dropped to his knees in front of them and reached out to press one fingertip against Arthur’s bottom lip. This seemed to jolt Arthur out of whatever thought he was lost him and the prince jerked away from the contact. A sting shot through Merlin’s chest. “Arthur, please,” he tried again. “There’s so much I have to tell you. You have no idea how sorry I am or how much I’ve always wanted you to know.”
“Listen to him,” Lancelot said gently. “I’m not letting go of you until you do.”
Arthur’s jaw clenched but he seemed to agree and shook his head.
He remained silent as Merlin explained. The words all jumbled out his mouth, were chocked out amongst tears and whispered even as his throat became horse. Merlin explained as best he could, pleaded for Arthur to understand, told him how much it had hurt to keep it all from somebody he loved so much.
And Arthur remained silent through all of it. His eyes went out of focus again, but Merlin kept going, knowing a small part of Arthur’s mind must still be taking it all in.
When Merlin was done, Lancelot let Arthur go. He didn’t lunge at Merlin again. He didn’t make any movement. He didn’t flinch away when Merlin leaned forward to gently kiss him.
As the hours wore on, Lancelot helped Arthur to his feet. Then he and Merlin escorted him back to his chambers. Merlin still wept as they went, hating himself for what he had done.
Fic P (G - 300 words)
"Arthur?!"
Morgana's contnued shrieks of distress and the falling masonry desperately reminded him of the fact that he needed to get Gaius out of there, but he couldn't stop the shock from halting his movements.
"Merlin, we have to go" is all Arthur said, or, shouted, as he took support of Gaius and rushed out of the room.
Shaking himself from trying to - in vain, of course - answer the question how much did he see? Merlin gathered his wits and pulled Lancelot out with him.
As they passed the threshold into relative safety, they shared an urgent look.
Arthur had left Gaius alone in the pasageway; they had no idea where he was.
Merlin chacked everywhere he could before he realised.
Uther.
Of course his father was Arthur's priority - the king had just spent a week in prison, stuck with himself and his evil daughter as he slowly went mad.
It was of course, something he could not interrupt, so he sat down on the steps to the castle while he waited.
"I told father" were Arthur's first words when he came to sit with his.
He watched Merlin's frame tense and then saw all the fear in his eyes when he tturned to look at him. He understood, now, why Merlin had kept it a secret.
"Relax," he grinned. "I was talking about my knights."
Merlin cautiously smiled back.
"For what it's worth... I am sorry, and I did try to tell you..."
"Yes, I know," Arthur said wryly. "Right before I did somthing to make you believe you wouldn't live if you did."
Merlin gulped and looked down.
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Don't worry about it."
Fic L (G - 741 words)
This is not what he’d been expecting when they had left Camelot. After all, what are the chances of heading off on another quest for another priceless artefact on the orders of the King and meeting bloody Gwaine?
Again?
This was probably all Merlin’s fault, Arthur thought uncharitably while smushing Gwaine’s head against the floor. Everything was so bloody simple before he came blundering along.
Before Merlin appeared, he wouldn’t care about servants, he would never have brought someone along on a strictly confidential journey, he wouldn‘t have dreamed of risking his life for someone from such a low station, and he definitely wouldn’t be brawling with a drunkard for the entertainment of slavers when he should be ensuring the safety of his kingdom.
A drunkard who really, really needed to think his plans through before he made them.
Merlin should get some better friends.
“Finish him!”
Jarl the Absolute Wanker was spoiling for blood.
Arthur readied himself. He wasn’t about to murder Gwaine, and Gwaine wouldn’t murder him (probably), so Jarl of the Kind Of Small Teeth In Relation To His Face was going to try and kill them both. Well, he wasn’t going down without a fight. Hopefully Merlin could get himself out in the confusion.
Why was he thinking of him again?
And then there was fire.
One of the large lanterns leapt up like dragon’s breath and caught the Ropes of Absolutely No Purpose Whatsoever alight above their heads. It was unnatural; it had to have leapt up a good two feet to actually do so. And the lantern just kept going, and going, until the network of plot devices were all roaring with flame, which ropes are not wont to doing, really.
It had to be sorcery. But who would do that to their own base while they were still in it?
Merlin was waiting for them at a door and ushered them out, following close behind as they escaped.
Absolutely no-one else was going the same way as them. That… concerned Arthur a little. Was it the wrong way? Ah well, even if it was,stone didn’t usually burn. The fire might not spread to wherever they were heading, outside or otherwise. They’d find a way out of the castle, and this time Arthur wouldn’t leave the planning up to Gwaine.
_________________________________________________________________________
Find a way out they did.
Arthur took a childish satisfaction in beating Gwaine to freedom.
That satisfaction eked away as Gwaine and Merlin poked holes in his efforts to keep their quest professional, leaving nothing but his ego and pride to keep him up.
Oh, and really, Merlin? Just tell him about our secret mission from the King, never mind the fact that Arthur wasn’t even supposed to tell Merlin in the first place. That’d be a great idea.
And no, the fact that “It’s Gwaine” didn’t make it all better.
No, he was not petulant. He was justifiably upset, which was completely excusable and befitting the Crown Prince of Camelot. And he was not bickering with Gwaine, no. He was having a perfectly manly and level-headed discussion about who was the better swordsman. It was an essential part of their professions! It was not childish in the slightest.
So Merlin had no reason to butt into it the way that he did, with his surprisingly logical point annoying face, extolling the virtues of that sorcerer-begotten fire like it was his own achievement that had been cast aside--
Oh.
On its own, it would have been something that Arthur could dismiss. He would have reasoned that Merlin just was angry that he couldn’t contribute to their escape, and carry on, like he always did. But then he thought of the last few years, and wondered.
A lot of things that hadn’t really added up at the time now made a hell of a lot more sense.
It was like…. It was like brushing feathers off his shoulder, thinking that they just appeared out of nowhere, until one day he finally looked over and a huge bloody falcon was sitting there, fighting off a hawk (he thought it was like that, anyway. That sort of thing didn’t really happen all the time to him, and Arthur would grudgingly admit that he wasn’t very good at similes).
Alright.
Alright.
He could handle this.
But later.
He’d talk to him later.
When they weren’t in immediate danger.
(So it didn’t happen for a long time.)
Fic M (PG - 5447 words)
The throne of Camelot had been taken back, but while there was a vast feeling of relief there was no celebration. Instead Gaius worked long into each night, crushing herbs and mixing potions over flames which might bring Uther’s mind from its withdrawal.
Nothing seemed to be effective.
Dressed in long red capes, knights and guards patrolled the castle and the town, putting the people at ease and looking to see which places needed the most attention. If they weren’t on patrol, they were assisting with the clean-up, moving the rubble of fallen castle walls, salvaging what they could and making sure the areas were secure at all times. Percival in particular appeared to be especially in his element, pushing aside the larger broken pieces of stone with more ease than the rest of them.
“He’s getting a bit of a following,” Merlin found himself smiling as he spokequietly to Lancelot and nodded over to where Percival worked. Nearby stood a small group of young women from the town, gathered close together, whispering and giggling amongst themselves. Percival worked on, keeping his head bowed so as not to notice them there. But Merlin saw the red tint on the tips of his ears.
“So I see,” Lancelot chuckled lightly, smiling and shaking his head. “He may well have to get used to the attention.”
Merlin hummed in agreement and looked around quickly. One assured nobody was watching them, for he and Lancelot worked somewhat apart from everybody else, he whispered softly to himself and a pile of rubble dislodged itself, sliding out of the way to where it could easily be gathered and got rid of.
“Merlin!” Lancelot looked around in alarm, keeping his voice down. “Should you be doing that?”
“It’s going to take forever without a little help,” Merlin insisted. “I could probably clear the whole thing with just a single sweep of my hand.”
“But that would be far too obvious,” Lancelot said, a smile playing on his lips again.
“Exactly,” Merlin nodded. “It’s okay, I’ll make sure nobody sees me.”
Lancelot seemed satisfied with this and they continued working on in silence for a little while longer. As he pulled and shifted debris, Merlin thought about how he really could have the whole thing cleared with just one spell. But, of course, if the kingdom woke up the next morning and found everything righted again they would surely suspect witchcraft and Merlin would once again live in fear while they hunted the one responsible.
Even if it was done in order to help, he thought bitterly.
“You know, Merlin, I find myself thinking,” Lancelot said, slowly, trying to pick his words carefully. “Perhaps now is the time you should tell Arthur about what you really are.”
Merlin very almost dropped the armful of rubble and wood he had gathered in surprise. He looked around, but still nobody seemed to really noticing them. They were all busy working away at their own tasks. But Merlin ducked his head down and said quietly, almost hissing; “what? I can’t do that, Lancelot, not now!”
“I know it doesn’t seem like the best time-“
“Not the best time?! Arthur has just watched magic corrupt Morgana to betray him! I can’t just tell him about myself now. He’d string me up before I even finished saying the word ‘magic’!”
“Have more faith in him than that,” Lancelot tried to reason. “You’re his closest friend, are you not Merlin? Anything you could possibly tell him, I’m sure he’d understand.”
“I don’t think he’d understand that I’ve been lying to him ever since I knew him!” Merlin said. Panic was beginning to settle in at the very thought of Arthur’s wide eyes, the pained and betrayed look and then the call for guards to arrest him. “And now it will all be worse than ever! Uther will send out his army to find and destroy anybody and anything magic within a hundred miles of Camelot, I just know it!”
“And perhaps that’s why this is the right time to tell him,” Lancelot said, watching Merlin with some understanding. “For Arthur to be a good king he must gain the trust of those wrongly made enemies by his father. You’re the only one who can restore his faith in magic.”
Merlin dumped his armful with a heavy sigh. What Lancelot told him made sense and Merlin knew that. But Lancelot just wasn’t aware of everything which had happened between Merlin and Arthur over the past few years. With the way things were, a simple apology and show of remorse just wouldn’t do if Arthur considered Merlin’s magic an absolute act of betrayal.
He shook his head. “I don’t know, Lancelot. It just… it’s not as simple as just telling him anymore.”
“You must do what you judge to be right,” Lancelot said, placing a comforting hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “But whatever you decide, I will stand by you Merlin. And if anything goes wrong, I will help you get out.”
“And what of your loyalty to Arthur?”
“My loyalty is to what I know to be right,” said Lancelot. “And you need to do what you feel is the right thing as well.”
“I know,” Merlin nodded his head.
They said no more about it for a little while and continued to work on in silence. As he lifted and carried and cleared things aside, Merlin thought about Arthur. He was busy taking over the duties which his father wasn’t currently fit to see to; organising patrols, meeting with the council and settling disputes. He barely slept but forced himself to keep going and Merlin could see him slowly breaking apart. It hurt, but he had no idea what to do, especially as Arthur so often sent him away to help where he could.
It was the thought of Arthur, with deep shadows under his eyes and such a sad look about him, which caused Merlin to come to his snap decision. There would never truly be a good time for him to tell Arthur the truth, he realised. There would only be when he had the choice and when he didn’t, and Merlin feared the latter.
“I’ll try,” he told Lancelot quietly. “I’ll try to tell him.”
Lancelot looked up at him. “Do you want me to come with you? Just in case?”
“No,” Merlin shook his head. “Thank you, but no. This is something I need to do by myself. It needs to be just between me and Arthur. You’re right, Lancelot, I have more faith in him than that.”
Lancelot nodded and gave Merlin’s arm a comforting squeeze.
As they finished their work, Merlin felt his heart beating wildly. His thoughts were jumbled with fear and trying to hope it would be okay and suddenly not knowing at all what he would say. After so long of imagining so many ways of how it could happen, Merlin found himself facing the cold reality that he really had no idea at all of what he might do or even if Arthur would ever forgive him.
---
As night began to fall, Merlin went to Arthur’s chambers with a tray of sliced meats and fruit. Arthur hadn’t been eating a lot since they took Camelot back, which he claimed to be because he was just too busy running around trying to get things back into order. But Merlin knew it was also because he still felt so upset and betrayed by Morgana. Though he was pleased when Arthur gave him a tired smile and chewed on a slice of ham. As Arthur sat and ate slowly, Merlin set to work with a few chores, making Arthur’s bed and tidying bits of armour about the place.
“How’s your father?” he asked to try breaking the heavy silence he could feel around the room.
“Better,” Arthur nodded. “He sat up and ate a little by himself today.”
Merlin put on a smile as best he could and nodded. “That’s good.”
He continued to work on mostly in silence. His mind buzzed, trying to think of a way he might be able to tell Arthur of his magic and possibly get away with it. But he had no idea how he might even start.
“Merlin,” Arthur said to him, getting up from the table, having eaten half of what was on the plate. He crossed the room to the drawers beside his bed, opened one and pulled out a small vial. “I know you’re terrible at this,” he said, holding up the little bottle. “But there’s an ache in my back which has been plaguing me all day and I can’t for the life of me reach it. You’ll have to rub some of this in.”
Merlin blinked. “Now?”
“No, Merlin,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “At your own convenience.”
Pressing his lips together, Merlin crossed the room to take the vial from Arthur’s outstretched hand. As he pulled the top off and began spreading oil over his palms, Arthur stripped off his shirt and lay face down on his bed.
“Which is it?” Merlin asked, toeing off his boots and climbing up onto the bed as well to straddle Arthur’s hips. He pressed down just by his left shoulder blade. “There?”
“No,” Arthur said, his voice slightly muffled as he pressed his face against his pillows. “Other side.”
“What about that?”
“Just down a little. There, that’s it. Well done, Merlin, that was quicker than usual.”
“Prat,” Merlin muttered, but he felt himself smiling all the same. He pressed his hands flat against Arthur’s back, spreading his fingers, before starting to rub the oil into his skin. He pressed down with his palms and rubbed with the tips of his fingers, spreading the stuff down Arthur’s back. Arthur was right, he wasn’t all that good and Merlin knew it. But he tried as best he could to work away the tension he felt
almost locked into Arthur’s back and shoulders.
But it gave him time to think as he gazed down at Arthur’s bare back with his hands moving over it. He felt the muscle underneath his skin and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and sometimes traced his fingers down a faint scar which ran down just underneath Arthur’s right shoulder blade.
He had Arthur in a complete state of trust, Merlin realised. The prince was barefoot and shirtless, stretched out on his stomach with Merlin practically sat upon his hips. It was just them. There was no damaged castle, no ill father and no constant fear that one of Camelot’s enemies may take advantage of the situation. Therewas no Morgana, no knights and no squabbling nobles.
But there was magic.
Perhaps, Merlin wondered, this was the right moment to finally tell him. But when he opened his mouth fear kept holding him back, freezing the words in his throat.
“Merlin,” Arthur mumbled. “You can stop now.”
“Oh, right,” Merlin pulled his hands away but remained where he was across Arthur’s hips. He pressed his teeth against his bottom lip and then found himself asking; “can I stay with you tonight?”
“Monsters under the bed is it?”
“Arthur!”
“Alright,” Arthur sighed, rolling over just a little so he could peer up at Merlin with one eye. “You can stay with me tonight, if it’ll make you feel better about whatever’s troubling you. But I’m going to sleep now, I’m utterly exhausted.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Looking up, Merlin could see the dark night through the window. With a soft sigh, he climbed off Arthur to pad across the room and close the curtains. As Arthur rolled underneath the covers and pulled them up to his chest, Merlin blew out the candles which kept the room lit. As he did so, he continued to think about Arthur and about his magic.
It must have been frustrating him more than he thought, Merlin considered. He could feel his magic inside him, rippling, reaching and pushing, almost like a caged animal trying to strike out. But Merlin managed to hold it in. Mostly. He did utter a quick spell while he was beside the last lot of candles to put them all out in one go. The smoke rose up and curled in the air and it seemed to have a somewhat golden tint to it. But Merlin dismissed it as perhaps a trick of the light or just the result of being so tired and worried. So as the wisps of smoke drifted through the room, Merlin climbed in beside Arthur, who let him curl up against his chest.
As he felt his heavy eyelids close, Merlin threaded his fingers through Arthur’s hair and kissed him slowly.
When Merlin slept he dreamed of golden smoke. He dreamed of horses in the clouds and bright blue blazing weapons. He dreamed of balls of shining light leading the way through the dark, great dragons ripping through the sky and a sword awaiting the man who could wield it. He dreamed of himself and Arthur, looking out at all the things they had done and all they had yet to do.
---
“Merlin!”
There was a moment where Merlin wasn’t really sure if he was awake or asleep. He was drowsy and his eyes wouldn’t open. His thoughts were sluggish and his head felt heavy and, really, he was happy just to remain asleep.
But then there was the shout of surprise in his ear and the feeling of something pulling away from him, yanking out of his grasp. Jolted awake, Merlin opened his eyes to see Arthur staring at him.
The look in Arthur’s eyes woke him up completely and made him feel cold. A part of Merlin hoped he was still dreaming but, no, it was real.
Then Arthur’s head started to shake slowly and he shifted away from Merlin, still staring at him and Merlin saw so many things in his eyes. But mostly a strange mixture of confusion and fear.
“Merlin,” Arthur said slowly as he sat up, now at the edge of his bed. For a moment Merlin found himself looking at the movement of the blanket as it fell to expose some of Arthur’s chest. Then he looked right back up again, dreading whatever might be coming.
“Merlin… tell me you’re not…”
Something heavy and cold plunged into Merlin’s stomach and his heart began to race. Suddenly he remembered his dreams and how close he had been to Arthur when they had fallen asleep, his fingers through his hair, their lips practically together. Arthur knew. There was no other explanation for how he suddenly stared at Merlin as though he were a total stranger.
“Wha…” Merlin sat up a little, wanting to say so much but when he opened his mouth barely any of it came out. “I… Arthur…”
“What was that Merlin?” Arthur asked. He was perched right on the edge of the bed, ready to leap off it if he had to.
Leap off and grab a weapon, Merlin realised with a chill of dread.
“What was that?” Arthur asked again, more demanding this time. More angry. “Your eyes, Merlin. They were gold for a moment. Tell me what that was!”
But Merlin couldn’t. Everything seemed to have stopped, his heart, his breathing, his very thoughts. Then his mind started to race again, as did his heart and he felt it pounding throughout his body. For a moment he thought he might be able to trick Arthur. Lie to him. Tell him he was still just dreaming or that it was a trick of the light.
Yet he looked back at Arthur, so angry and so confused, and knew he would never believe him. But when he opened his mouth he still couldn’t just tell him. Merlin had no idea how he would even start. An explanation? An apology? Just a statement of, yes, he was magic?
“I…” he tried, desperately thinking of something which might make Arthur stop staring at him like that. “Arthur…”
“You’re magic,” Arthur said, shaking his head again, staring at Merlin in utter disbelief. “Merlin… you’re a sorcerer, aren’t you?”
“Arthur I… I’m sorry, I-“
“For what?” Arthur suddenly snapped and rage clouded over him. Enough for Merlin to shrink down and suddenly fear what could be coming. “For lying to me all this time? For being… this?”
“I’m sorry,” Merlin shook his head. Panic settled in and he could feel himself start to shake. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. I never… you were meant to-“
"Get out!” Arthur suddenly cried, flinging off the covers and stalking across the room, his breeches still slung low on his hips. “Get out of here, Merlin. Before I do something you’ll most certainly regret.”
“Arthur, please!” Merlin continued to plead, sitting up completely. “Please, just let me explain. There’s so much I need to tell you, Arthur. Just let me-“
“Get out!” Arthur snapped angrily, his face twisted with rage. “Leave this room at once, Merlin, before I call the guards!”
Merlin opened his mouth, wanting to plead with Arthur some more, beg for him to listen, start to tell him everything no matter what jumbled mess it all fell out in.
But instead he found himself scrambling from the bed, grabbing his boots, hurrying across the room and opening the door. He wanted to look back at Arthur. Try one last time to explain. But he just couldn’t bare the hate and anger he had seen in Arthur’s eyes.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Merlin ran. He ran as fast as he could, slowing only to pull on his boots, sprinting through the hallways, dodging around knights and nobles and servants. Some seemed startled and jumped out of the way, shouting at him as he passed. But Merlin didn’t stop, didn’t even hear them. He just kept his head down and kept running, even as his breath became short, his chest burned and his legs ached. Merlin wasn’t even sure where he was going, his panicked thoughts were all over the place. He had to get away. But he couldn’t just leave Camelot, could he?
He felt tears burning in the backs of his eyes and became sure any guards he passed were eyeing him suspiciously.
They knew! What if everyone somehow knew?
Merlin kept running aimlessly until, almost at the courtyard, he rounded a corner and hit something hard. As he stumbled back, he cried out and thought he heard someone else grunt in surprise.
As Merlin blinked the tears from his eyes, he realised who it was.
“Lancelot!” he gasped out, not sure he had ever felt so relieved in his entire life.
“Merlin?” Lancelot frowned in concern, taking in Merlin’s distressed state and casting a look at an equally confused Elyan. “Merlin, what happened?”
“It-“Merlin stopped himself as he looked to Elyan, suddenly not sure what to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Elyan, but Arthur accidentally knowing felt bad enough at that moment. He didn’t want anybody else to find out just yet. “I…”
“Go on ahead,” Lancelot said to Elyan, nodding in reassurance. “I’ll be along shortly.”
“Alright then,” Elyan cast one last look at Merlin before going on through to the courtyard. He didn’t look back, but Lancelot and Merlin waited until he was out of sight before Lancelot pulled Merlin aside into the nearest alcove.
“What happened?” Lancelot asked him, holding gently onto his shoulders and bending his head down to speak in a low voice. “Did you tell Arthur?”
“Yes. Well, no. Sort of,” Merlin said, still not thinking straight and his words felt they were coming out in a jumble. “I sort of… well… showed him. But I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know I could do that.”
“Do what?” Lancelot prompted. “What, Merlin? Calm down and tell me.”
“I dreamt of my magic last night,” Merlin explained as best he could as he tried to steady his breathing. “And so did… so did Arthur. I don’t know how, but…” he shook his head. “But he did. He knows about me now.”
“And what did he say?” Lancelot asked. “Did he do anything?”
“No,” Merlin shook his head. “He just asked me if it were all true. And I said-“ a large lump formed in his throat and Merlin swallowed. “And I said yes. Then he just told me to leave.”
“Nothing about the guards or arrest?” Lancelot asked, casting a wary eye to the hallway, but they were still alone.
“No,” Merlin shook his head again. “He didn’t say anything like that.”
“Then we’ll count that as a good thing,” Lancelot said, nodding his head and rubbing Merlin’s arm, trying to calm him. “Perhaps he just needs a bit of time.”
“Can I stay with you?” Merlin suddenly blurted out and asked. “Please, just… just for a little while. Until I know what to do.”
“For as long as you need,” Lancelot reassured him. “I have to patrol the town for a little while. But you can come along with me. Just stay by me and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Merlin nodded and tried to swallow through the large lump in his throat again. If anybody did try to take him away and if Lancelot tried to stop them he would be branded an accomplice. It would truly be the end of his time as a knight and in Camelot. If they escaped.
He could feel it all becoming too much and so Merlin tried to put it from his mind. Instead he just thought of Arthur and how much that look of shock and betrayal had hurt.
As Lancelot lead him away, Merlin found himself holding onto his arm to help steady himself as his legs were starting to tremble. Lancelot put some of his cloak around Merlin’s shoulders, which he shrank into as much as he could to try and remain hidden to everybody else.
---
After a little while, Merlin found himself feeling better. While he had lived in Camelot for a few years now, he’d never really had a chance to just look around, constantly running errands for Gaius or being at Arthur’s beck and call. But now on patrol with Lancelot he got to see all the different trade stands, the centre of the town where there were some cobblestones arranged in decreasing circles, the centre of which were worn, where a maypole was erected every spring. Merlin saw children running with hay dolls and carved wooden toys, dogs with scraggly fur dozing in the shade and houses on the outskirts which sold jams and honey.
And no knights or guards approached them. Lancelot made sure Merlin went to see Gaius once they spotted him delivering medicines, just to let the court physician know he was well after not returning to his own bed the previous night. They met Gwen and Elyan and sat with them to eat bread and slices of meat. Not long after that they ran into Gwaine, who immediately seemed to pick up on Merlin being upset about something and his solution was a few rounds at The Rising Sun. But this was something Lancelot absolutely refused. “Hey, don’t worry about that Arthur,” was Gwaine’s departing advice. “If he upsets you again, let me know and I’ll sort him.”
“He means well,” Merlin said to Lancelot as Gwaine disappeared from view towards the training grounds.
“I know,” Lancelot said, with a raised eyebrow but a small smile upon his face. “You surround yourself with good friends, Merlin. Gwaine wouldn’t let anything happen to you either.”
Merlin pressed his lips together and nodded. He was grateful. But the thought of people losing what they had and perhaps even dying on his behalf made him feel ill and panicked all over again.
---
Then, as the heat of the day was starting to pass, Lancelot and Merlin were crossing the courtyard on their way to find Leon so Lancelot could report in. But they were surprised to see Leon approaching them instead. And when Leon saw them coming, he quickened his step.
“Stay behind me,” Lancelot said to Merlin, coming to a stop, ushering Merlin back and touching against the hilt of his sword. Merlin felt another lump form in his throat and his legs suddenly seemed to be made of lead.
“Prince Arthur has requested that Merlin sees him in his chambers immediately,” Leon said as soon as he approached them and stopped. Then he added; “and he insisted that it must be alone.”
The look in Leon’s eyes seemed somewhat puzzled by that specific instruction and it filled Merlin with dread. It could only be about one thing and Arthur’s anger would have grown throughout the day, especially with a bickering court to keep in order and an ill father to tend to.
“Can I at least accompany him to the door?” Lancelot asked.
“If you wish,” Leon nodded, again seeming somewhat puzzled. “But then you’re needed for a guard patrol around the castle, Lancelot.”
“Of course,” Lancelot bowed his head as a show of his understanding and respect to the head knight. Leon, appearing to be satisfied, went on his way. As they made their way to Arthur’s chambers, Merlin found himself returning to the state he had been in that morning; his legs shaking, his chest tightened with nerves and his mind racing with fear.
“Lancelot, what’s going to happen?” he gasped out quietly, reaching out to grasp Lancelot’s arm. “What will he do to me?”
“I don’t know,” said Lancelot. “But if anything does happen, Merlin, you need to do whatever you can to get away. I’ll hold them off as much as I’m able.”
“Lancelot-“Merlin shook his head and was about to tell Lancelot that he should not risk everything he had ever strived towards just for him. But before he could they were halfway down the hallway to Arthur’s chambers and Lancelot gently took hold of Merlin’s arm.
“Put some trust in Arthur,” he said. “If he wanted you arrested, he could have sent the knights out at any time over the day. Perhaps it won’t be that bad.”
“I hope not,” Merlin sighed, feeling his dread build with each step towards the door. Before he knew it, he was right outside.
“Arthur is your friend,” Lancelot reassured him. “He’ll understand.”
“Maybe eventually,” Merlin said miserably. He raised his hand and knocked so softly he hoped Arthur wouldn’t hear.
But there was a call of “enter!”
As Merlin pushed the door open, he felt Lancelot’s reassuring touch on his back once again but couldn’t bare to look back at him as he stepped into the room.
The door closed behind him and Merlin was alone with Arthur in his chambers. Arthur stood on the other side of the room, with his back to Merlin and gazing out of the window. Merlin stood where he was, straightening his shoulders and raising his chin into the air. If he was going to die here, he suddenly found himself deciding, at least it would be knowing he was finally honest. While he was still very much afraid, he tried to stand proud of this.
Until Arthur turned to look at him over his shoulder and then Merlin felt his shoulders slump. Arthur was still so tired, with dark shadows under his eyes, which looked red and sore. Merlin felt his heart leap into his throat and something cold plunge into his chest as Arthur looked back at him, his eyes flicking up and down and searching Merlin. As though he were looking for something different which hadn’t been there before. But when he couldn’t seem to find it, Arthur frowned and turned completely to face him. Merlin stood frozen to the spot, feeling lanky and awkward with his arms just hanging down by his sides.
“You are…” Arthur said slowly, watching Merlin carefully, “you have magic?”
“Yes.” Merlin nodded. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore, no reason to try and lie. Arthur should know.
Arthur shook his head, his expression crumbling into disappointment. “But why, Merlin? Why would you take up something like that?”
“I didn’t take it up!” Merlin snapped, suddenly feeling a flush of anger. “I’ve always been like this, Arthur, since the day I was born. I’ve always been able to use magic.”
“But you shouldn’t,” said Arthur. “It takes a person, twists them and corrupts them. You’ve seen it. Just look at what it did to Morgana!”
“Morgause is what twisted Morgana!” Merlin argued. “She always had those powers as well! Did it never strike you as odd that none of Gaius’ sleep remedies ever work? Arthur, please, I have known you try to defend magic when it was wrongly persecuted in the past.”
“That was before,” Arthur said, jabbing his finger at Merlin.
“Before what?”
“Before I saw what it could truly be! Before it almost ensnared me to murder my own father! Before one of the people I loved and trusted most in this world was made to betray me!”
“But what about me has changed?” Merlin pressed his palms against his chest. “I’ve had magic before I even knew it.”
“So what are you doing in Camelot?” Arthur shook his head slowly. “Where you know you will be hunted down like a dog and slaughtered if you were ever found out.”
“I stay because I want to be with you and I’m not just going to abandon that,” said Merlin. “I didn’t even know about the laws around magic when I first came here. But I stayed. For you! Not because I wanted revenge for everything Uther has done to people like me. Think about it. How long have I been here, Arthur? How much opportunity have I truly had to kill both you and your father? I’ve had plenty. But I would never do that!”
“But why wouldn’t you?” Arthur said thoughtfully. “After everything he has done to people like you.”
“Because I need you to trust me. More than anything else.”
“I do trust you!” Arthur said and there was a quiver to his voice which made something cold jump right up to Merlin’s throat. Again there was so much in Arthur’s eyes. But mostly hurt and Merlin felt nothing short of absolutely terrible. But then Arthur said something to lift his spirits a little.
“That’s why I won’t see you executed, Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice lowering. “I won’t let a man like you be killed.”
Merlin felt relief. But then he realised what else it could mean.
“Do you…” his eyes dropped to the floor. “I’ll leave if you want.”
“What? No! No, Merlin, I want you to stay here with me.”
Merlin looked up and right into Arthur’s eyes again. And this time he felt more hope. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to be made to leave. Arthur didn’t hate him, he realised, and that brought Merlin so much relief. But Arthur still seemed shaken and Merlin could feel a quiver in his legs as well, where he stood still rooted to the spot, his arms dangling by his sides and feeling useless.
“Come here, Merlin.”
Merlin did as he was asked and approached Arthur. He wasn’t afraid anymore. There was no need for him to be.
When he was within three paces of Arthur, Merlin suddenly came to a stop and fell onto one knee with his head bowed. Ready to receive Arthur’s judgement, whatever it may be. Arthur was his king, his friend, the man he loved. The one he would follow without question because he knew his heart would always want to be in the right place.
What he wasn’t expecting was for Arthur to fall to his knees as well, bringing them down to the same crouched level.
“No, Merlin,” Arthur said, taking hold of Merlin’s shoulders. “You don’t have to bow before me. Not you. I’m nothing without you.”
There were so many things Merlin wanted to say. But again he never got the chance to speak any of it. Because as soon as he opened his mouth, Arthur had dipped his head forward to kiss him. As their dry lips pressed together, Merlin felt the thrum of his heart through his whole body. His world was shaking and his head was spinning so he closed his eyes. It was just them again, just as it always had been. And Merlin would do all he could to make sure it stayed that way.
“Stay with me Merlin,” Arthur whispered when they broke apart. “I need you with me.”
“You’ll always have me,” Merlin told him. He brought his hands up to thread his fingers through Arthur’s hair and kissed him back.
Fic N (PG - 201 words)
It had been only days since Arthur won back Camelot, and already he was king in all but name. Morgana's betrayal had left Uther on the brink of madness - from guilt as much from grief, Arthur knew. No matter what she had done, he couldn't lay all of the blame at Morgana's feet, and he couldn't bring himself to hate her.
Still, he knew it wasn't over; he'd have to face her one day.
He just hadn't expected it to be so soon. Hadn't expected anything but a routine patrol, but she'd been there, nonetheless, appearing from between the trees and stopping in front of him, hand held out in front of her, a ball of light, of magic, coiling in her palm.
Arthur's horse shied away, but it was too late; his hand wasn't even half way to his sword before the light was spinning towards him, far faster than he could have imagined.
And then it stopped.
Merlin took a step forward, tensing against the force of Morgana's magic, pushing the ball of light back towards her. His idiot of a manservant. Practicing magic.
Arthur blinked, and with sudden clarity, he knew.
And there was no going back.
Fic O (PG - 1242 words)
There was a terrible cry of rage as Arthur twisted and struggled, trying frantically to break away. But Lancelot held him firmly, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s chest, pinning his arms to his sides, and digging his heels into the stone floor. Across the room, Merlin stood with his back pressed against the wall, watching in horror.
He hadn’t meant for it to happen. He had been caught out. There was so much to take care of now that Camelot had been reclaimed. Uther’s mind was left shattered by Morgana’s betrayal and so much had been weighted upon Arthur’s shoulders, having to see to the court and where parts of the Great Hall had been destroyed while Morgana and Morgause made their escape.
Merlin had been sent with Lancelot to help try to clear and sort the armoury. There was so much, so Merlin had tried to help by using his magic, making weapons fly through the air into their proper places.
He had thought Arthur was busy attending to matters elsewhere. He hadn’t been expecting him to suddenly walk in.
By the time he turned and saw Arthur watching him, with a look of shock and absolute horror on his face, it was too late. Merlin had been found out.
Before his eyes, Arthur’s face had suddenly clouded over with anger and twisted with rage. Shadows crept over him as the door swung shut.
Then, before Merlin knew it, his back was pressed against the far wall and Lancelot was restraining Arthur, who twisted furiously, trying to escape, and screamed with such rage Merlin feared the doors would burst open any minute and guards would swarm the room to drag him away. But they remained alone.
“Arthur…” he shook his head, a small part of him hoping he would suddenly wake up from such a horrible dream. But no. No, it was all real. Arthur knew. And Arthur hated him. “Arthur, please, it isn’t what it seems.”
“You have magic!” Arthur snarled. “All this time! All this time you have lied to me, Merlin!”
“No!” Merlin shook his head again and felt tears begin to burn in the backs of his eyes. “No, Arthur, please. You must let me explain. There’s so much to tell you.”
“Listen to him,” Lancelot tried to gently interject. “Sire, you must try to understand.”
“You knew!” Arthur tried to round on Lancelot but was still held firmly. “You knew about all this!”
“I did,” Lancelot nodded, his expression crumbling a little with remorse. And Merlin could understand why. While both of them knew what it could mean for Merlin’s magic to become known of, especially in the wake of what Morgana and Morgause had done, both had also talked amongst each other about how Arthur should know sooner rather than later. It would bethe only way to restore his faith in magic. If that didn’t happen, peace would never truly come to Camelot. But each time Merlin became too afraid and would not do it.
“Then you have both betrayed me!” Arthur growled, still twisting in Lancelot’s grip in a bid to free himself. “Let me go, damn you!”
“No. I will not let you do something you’ll only come to regret for the rest of your life,” Lancelot told him. “You care about Merlin too much to do him any harm. And I care too much about both of you to let it happen!”
“You’ve both lied to me!” Arthur screamed in rage. “How can you claim to still care about me after this?”
Arthur was sent into a hysterical rage once again. He screamed and twisted and Merlin could see Lancelot starting to struggle to keep hold of him. As he thought he saw tears start to run down Arthur’s cheeks, Merlin started to cry himself. It was all going wrong. He had never really had an idea of how he would reveal himself to Arthur. But not like this. Not in a way which had suddenly brought so much hatred and rage.
As Arthur howled in anger and snarled curses, Lancelot appeared to be losing his grip upon him. So Merlin watched him do something which made his heart jump up into his throat. Gripping Arthur’s arms tightly, Lancelot suddenly ducked his head down and bit Arthur on his neck, right where it joined with the shoulder.
It brought a sudden stop to the wild thrashing and screaming. A sharp gasp of surprise escaped Arthur’s throat and his eyes went wide as his body jolted with the shock of Lancelot’s sudden action.
Still pressed against the wall and with tears uncontrollably falling from his eyes, Merlin watched as Arthur’s legs seemed to give way and he sank to the floor. Lancelot went down with him, still with his mouth pressed against Arthur’s skin. He appeared to be mumbling something, but Merlin couldn’t hear what it was.
When Arthur was knelt upon the floor, still with Lancelot’s arms around him and still with Lancelot’s mouth against his neck, Merlin finally stepped away from the wall towards them. His body was shaking and his legs felt heavy. He was still afraid and that fear grew in him with each step he took towards Arthur. But he didn’t know what he was afraid of anymore; Arthur possibly wanting him dead or that look of utter betrayal which was still in his eyes.
Arthur knelt on the floor, his eyes out of focus and staring just over Merlin’s shoulder. Tears fell steadily from his eyes and his body seemed to quiver slightly. Lancelot murmured something to him again and then took his mouth from Arthur’s neck. He tightened his grasp on Arthur, pulling him to press the prince’s back close to his chest. He held him with a gentler grip this time, but still made sure he could quickly stop Arthur if he tried to lunge forward again.
“Arthur,” Merlin dropped to his knees in front of them and reached out to press one fingertip against Arthur’s bottom lip. This seemed to jolt Arthur out of whatever thought he was lost him and the prince jerked away from the contact. A sting shot through Merlin’s chest. “Arthur, please,” he tried again. “There’s so much I have to tell you. You have no idea how sorry I am or how much I’ve always wanted you to know.”
“Listen to him,” Lancelot said gently. “I’m not letting go of you until you do.”
Arthur’s jaw clenched but he seemed to agree and shook his head.
He remained silent as Merlin explained. The words all jumbled out his mouth, were chocked out amongst tears and whispered even as his throat became horse. Merlin explained as best he could, pleaded for Arthur to understand, told him how much it had hurt to keep it all from somebody he loved so much.
And Arthur remained silent through all of it. His eyes went out of focus again, but Merlin kept going, knowing a small part of Arthur’s mind must still be taking it all in.
When Merlin was done, Lancelot let Arthur go. He didn’t lunge at Merlin again. He didn’t make any movement. He didn’t flinch away when Merlin leaned forward to gently kiss him.
As the hours wore on, Lancelot helped Arthur to his feet. Then he and Merlin escorted him back to his chambers. Merlin still wept as they went, hating himself for what he had done.
Fic P (G - 300 words)
"Arthur?!"
Morgana's contnued shrieks of distress and the falling masonry desperately reminded him of the fact that he needed to get Gaius out of there, but he couldn't stop the shock from halting his movements.
"Merlin, we have to go" is all Arthur said, or, shouted, as he took support of Gaius and rushed out of the room.
Shaking himself from trying to - in vain, of course - answer the question how much did he see? Merlin gathered his wits and pulled Lancelot out with him.
As they passed the threshold into relative safety, they shared an urgent look.
Arthur had left Gaius alone in the pasageway; they had no idea where he was.
Merlin chacked everywhere he could before he realised.
Uther.
Of course his father was Arthur's priority - the king had just spent a week in prison, stuck with himself and his evil daughter as he slowly went mad.
It was of course, something he could not interrupt, so he sat down on the steps to the castle while he waited.
"I told father" were Arthur's first words when he came to sit with his.
He watched Merlin's frame tense and then saw all the fear in his eyes when he tturned to look at him. He understood, now, why Merlin had kept it a secret.
"Relax," he grinned. "I was talking about my knights."
Merlin cautiously smiled back.
"For what it's worth... I am sorry, and I did try to tell you..."
"Yes, I know," Arthur said wryly. "Right before I did somthing to make you believe you wouldn't live if you did."
Merlin gulped and looked down.
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Don't worry about it."