Searching for this specific canon divergence fic...
I've been driving myself fairly mad looking for this one reasonably long fic I read on AO3 in early 2014 (I think?), any help with finding it would be super appreciated!
It was a canon divergence!AU with Merlin having been made Arthur's court sorcerer after magic was returned to Camelot - the fic was from Merlin's POV and overall pretty angsty, though I'm a bit fuzzy on the details other than this one specific scene (description under the cut to be safe, warning for mention of suicidal ideation):
Merlin is asked to do a magic demonstration in front of Arthur, Gwen, Gaius, and various other guests? And as the last part of the demonstration, Arthur calls for the archers to fire on Merlin, who's supposed to stop the arrows (to show his ability to control even time or something), but Merlin nearly decides not to do it until the last second. I'm pretty sure Arthur confronts him after that on trying to kill himself.
Sorry for the extremely vague description, whoops. If this doesn't ring a bell, general recs for fics in a similar vein (i.e. things not going well for Merlin despite having ostensibly suceeded in fulfilling his destiny) are also welcome!
It was a canon divergence!AU with Merlin having been made Arthur's court sorcerer after magic was returned to Camelot - the fic was from Merlin's POV and overall pretty angsty, though I'm a bit fuzzy on the details other than this one specific scene (description under the cut to be safe, warning for mention of suicidal ideation):
Merlin is asked to do a magic demonstration in front of Arthur, Gwen, Gaius, and various other guests? And as the last part of the demonstration, Arthur calls for the archers to fire on Merlin, who's supposed to stop the arrows (to show his ability to control even time or something), but Merlin nearly decides not to do it until the last second. I'm pretty sure Arthur confronts him after that on trying to kill himself.
Sorry for the extremely vague description, whoops. If this doesn't ring a bell, general recs for fics in a similar vein (i.e. things not going well for Merlin despite having ostensibly suceeded in fulfilling his destiny) are also welcome!