Wondering

[merlik]

I don't think I make Taylor happy anymore. Last night I sent her an email telling her how much I miss her, and in response she sent me something telling me how sad she is. She's afraid to tell me things because she's afraid that I'll just make her feel sad about them. What kind of guy makes the girl he's dating concerned about things that make

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[byrdclaw]

Okay, I had to go back and read some of your posts, then read some of her posts, just so I could understand a little bit. However, I still don't quite understand the exact cause of Taylor's sadness. She says that she doesn't want to tell you things because you'll only make her sad. Does this mean sad as in sad, or sad as in upset? I can't specifically remember any time when I couldn't cheer Julia up, and she usually wants to discuss every issue with me. If Taylor can't feel open with you then you can't really have a relationship (vice versa too). There have been times when maybe Julia and I haven't communicated as much as we should and we'll end up getting really pissed off at each other, then sit down and talk for 4 hours and sort everything out and then the world is a better place. As far as I can tell, just be open and let her know that you're there for when she wants to feel open too.

Now.. about that last sentence.. she doesn't seem to feel open. She says she doesn't want that title of "girlfriend". I really don't understand that.. especially coming from a woman. Women generally want to feel wanted, and even further, needed. If she doesn't really want to feel needed then maybe she really doesn't want a relationship. Since you know how you both stand in your relationship, you wanting to spend more time, and her wanting to spend less (or maybe just keep things low key? I dunno, can't figure it out) then you have no choice but to succumb to the latter and make things less than what they are now. You may feel that this girl is your world and that nothing else could do it for you but her, but unfortunately it doesn't sound like she's ready for a "relationship".

On a completely different tone, why the hell do people fear this relationship thing? What's so big about it? If you like a person and enjoy their company and being close to them then what changes between that and having a full fledged relationship? It's not a huge leap people. There's not a big difference between relationship and "relationship". With a relationship you are spending time with the person and doing things with them that usually you both enjoy. With a "relationship" all that really happens is that the person you're spending this time with becomes your best friend and you end up spending more and more time together. Why do people fear something that they enjoy so much? I could understand if it was something that caused physical pain. Like, those that are in a abusive dependent relationship.. yeah, that's something to be afraid of, but I'm talking about harmless enjoyment of another persons company. Or maybe if it was poisoned chocolate.. that would be a seriously dangerous relationship to have.

Anyways, What I typed above may help, it may not, I dunno. If it ends up complicating something then let me apologize in advance cause I didn't actually write it, it was my evil twin (which I just learned lives in Austin and walks around on 9th street on Wed. evenings).