Do you know the feeling ...
... when things seem to go alright, and then all of a sudden, your perspective shifts, and everything suddenly seems wrong?
Like, I've written about 6.000 words of Finn/Kurt AU for my finnkurt exchange assignment, and I actually liked it, and then I stumble across a negative comment about my work while browsing communities, and suddenly I want to delete everything I've written and start all over again. Or just stop writing completely.
Or, I think I'm actually okay with being single for once, because yes, it actually makes moving to another country so much easier, and also, I still believe that I'm going to find the "right one" someday - and then a friend e-mails me to tell me that she got engaged, and I feel all lonely and sad all over again.
It probably doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit lost in regard to fandom these days: Like I already told someone on my f-list a coupe of days ago, it seems like all my fandoms and I are growing apart: because the show gets cancelled (Numb3rs), because most people I knew in the fandom have wandered off to other fandoms (Brothers&Sisters), because the fandom is still a mikro-fandom (Caprica) or on hiatus (Leverage, Merlin), or because I just can't really relate to the show or the fandom at the moment (SPN, Torchwood ...). And being too invested in one single fandom (at the moment: Glee) is all well and good, but it makes me very vulnerable to disappointment when something's not going the way I want it to.
This is probably the whiniest post I've ever written, and tomorrow I'm going to slap my forehead and remind myself not to post anything when it's already past 2am. Sorry, f-list, I'll be back to my optimistic self soon enough. Hopefully.
Like, I've written about 6.000 words of Finn/Kurt AU for my finnkurt exchange assignment, and I actually liked it, and then I stumble across a negative comment about my work while browsing communities, and suddenly I want to delete everything I've written and start all over again. Or just stop writing completely.
Or, I think I'm actually okay with being single for once, because yes, it actually makes moving to another country so much easier, and also, I still believe that I'm going to find the "right one" someday - and then a friend e-mails me to tell me that she got engaged, and I feel all lonely and sad all over again.
It probably doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit lost in regard to fandom these days: Like I already told someone on my f-list a coupe of days ago, it seems like all my fandoms and I are growing apart: because the show gets cancelled (Numb3rs), because most people I knew in the fandom have wandered off to other fandoms (Brothers&Sisters), because the fandom is still a mikro-fandom (Caprica) or on hiatus (Leverage, Merlin), or because I just can't really relate to the show or the fandom at the moment (SPN, Torchwood ...). And being too invested in one single fandom (at the moment: Glee) is all well and good, but it makes me very vulnerable to disappointment when something's not going the way I want it to.
This is probably the whiniest post I've ever written, and tomorrow I'm going to slap my forehead and remind myself not to post anything when it's already past 2am. Sorry, f-list, I'll be back to my optimistic self soon enough. Hopefully.