Sad news: merle_ has passed away.

[merle_]

[not merle_ posting]

merle_ passed away. He was found by the police on Monday May 13, 2013 after his wife called to say he was missing. He died at home, in his new apartment, apparently while sleeping peacefully

Comments

[eryn_]

Honestly it was awful finding him with the police. (um. yeah, the matching underscore, me. but we'd decided not to tell people

Don't exactly know what to say

[fub]

I am so sorry for your loss. It must be really rough on you to leave things unfinished.

Also, I am apalled at how his family is treating you. Please don't let it get to you.

[eryn_]

thank you

[fub]

I can't believe those people. Even if you'd think that (which is pretty horrible in its own right), what on earth makes you say it to the person in question?
I'm so very sorry you have to go through this. You have my permission to slap the next person who says something like that to you! Don't let anybody give you any shit about this: you did what you could, but you have to look after yourself first before you can look after someone else. As sad as I am because of merle_'s death, I do think you made the right choices. Don't let anybody guilt you into believing anything else!

Yes, I am "the anime guy". merle_ is the only person (I think) that consistently read all my reviews. I'm glad that he liked some of the series that I gave high marks.
Just the other day, we finished watching a series, and I caught myself thinking: "Hm, merle_ would like this series. I gotta go write a review of it." And then I realised that there's no rush in reviewing series like that anymore.

[siderea]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[angelamermaid]

I am sorry for your loss. I know that living with an alcoholic is challenging and heartbreaking. Take care of yourself during these time.

[eryn_]

Thank you. I did not know he was drinking. He lied to me and his doctors for a decade. He didn't ever believe there was anything wrong with him.

There's no real way to take care of yourself when your spouse dies. You think you're doing a good job, but fixing a sandwich is only half the battle.

[kelkyag]

I am very sorry for your loss.

[eryn_]

Thank you.

[melted_snowball]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I had truly hoped he was getting better. And I'm obviously sorry for how his family is treating you.

[eryn_]

I saw him the day he probably died. He swore he was getting better and there wouldn't be any more weirdness.

Wikipedia says people with this disease look fine and feel fine until they suddenly drop dead with very little warning.

The theory behind blaming me is that he was healthier when he was living with me. But that's kind of how a progressive illness works. It didn't have a lot to do with what I was doing for him. The real reason for blaming me is because a lot of people miss him and some of them feel guilty. If they feel guilty from far away, then I must have been at fault. I also think they are too far away to see me clearly so they think I'm unaffected.