Me talk bad
Perhaps it would have been for the best if I’d given up learning once I’d mastered walking. There are reasons why I should never talk again…
Okay, well to be fair alcohol consumption didn’t help, and what I said was true just maybe it was better left unsaid given my previous conversations. And had I had a couple more drinks inside of me I probably would have tried to kiss her which would have invariably have led to disaster. So not all bad! Or maybe it is, the awkwardness is still there, certainly not helped by me and as a result she thinks we can’t really be friends, not with that awkwardness sitting there like an embarrassing Aunt. I don’t really know if that’s true, it makes things difficult, I guess it depends what kind of friendship you’re trying to develop.
The best thing I can do is just try and put all this out of my head, to silence that nagging thought. And it’s a stupid thought, but it’s there and it gnawing away at the back of my mind. I did actually try to say this last night when I decided to try and think straight but the pub was closing so I never really got to finish what I was saying. The point itself is mute as she’s said that all she sees me as is a friend, but that nagging voice keeps whispering to me, not a real voice I hasten to add, I don’t hear voices, apart from Horice but he’s an old friend. And it is as I have said a stupid point but it was back last month and it was basically that she said she did like me, although it should be added that she’s also said she hadn’t been aware of it before. And it’s that and the fact that it wasn’t just the one evening we kissed, and that small voice keeps insisting it must mean something. But I need to listen to my head on this one, there are a million reasons why it doesn’t mean anything, a million reasons why it can be explained away, the time of the year, the situation, the fleeting idea that maybe it could work. On the whole I'm just confused but with no real reason to be.
However I might feel I know she doesn’t and it’s not worth losing a friend over this.
Oh and I think my laptop might be fucked.
Okay, well to be fair alcohol consumption didn’t help, and what I said was true just maybe it was better left unsaid given my previous conversations. And had I had a couple more drinks inside of me I probably would have tried to kiss her which would have invariably have led to disaster. So not all bad! Or maybe it is, the awkwardness is still there, certainly not helped by me and as a result she thinks we can’t really be friends, not with that awkwardness sitting there like an embarrassing Aunt. I don’t really know if that’s true, it makes things difficult, I guess it depends what kind of friendship you’re trying to develop.
The best thing I can do is just try and put all this out of my head, to silence that nagging thought. And it’s a stupid thought, but it’s there and it gnawing away at the back of my mind. I did actually try to say this last night when I decided to try and think straight but the pub was closing so I never really got to finish what I was saying. The point itself is mute as she’s said that all she sees me as is a friend, but that nagging voice keeps whispering to me, not a real voice I hasten to add, I don’t hear voices, apart from Horice but he’s an old friend. And it is as I have said a stupid point but it was back last month and it was basically that she said she did like me, although it should be added that she’s also said she hadn’t been aware of it before. And it’s that and the fact that it wasn’t just the one evening we kissed, and that small voice keeps insisting it must mean something. But I need to listen to my head on this one, there are a million reasons why it doesn’t mean anything, a million reasons why it can be explained away, the time of the year, the situation, the fleeting idea that maybe it could work. On the whole I'm just confused but with no real reason to be.
However I might feel I know she doesn’t and it’s not worth losing a friend over this.
Oh and I think my laptop might be fucked.