The Girl By The Window (Chapter 16)

[merki589]

The Girl By The Window

Chapter 16

“If only I didn’t release your hand at that time, you and I, and even our look would have been different.” - (Juniel, Everlasting Sunset)

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The attack of emotions was like a storm; chaotic, swirling and maddening as she waited but when Jung Yonghwa finally touched her soft, trembling lips………………..Seohyun instantly closed her eyes and pushed her face forward to reciprocate the kiss.

It was strange, very strange. The storm that was troubling Seohyun was miraculously gone because the moment that she and Yonghwa kissed;

Everything calmed down.

She feels his weight once Yonghwa leaned his body slightly towards her. Being a novice in being intimate, Seohyun’s hands were frozen on each side of her, her hands balled into fists.

They continued to kiss. It was neither hurried nor passionate. Rather, the kiss was slow and careful, their lips lightly brushing each other.

Yonghwa made it sure that he still handles her gently as they kissed. He had to control his raging hormones and not to act too eager when Seohyun shyly reciprocates his kisses. A few pecks then she shyly opens her mouth, luring Yonghwa to slightly deepen the kiss.

His could hear the excited beating of his heart while Seohyun unknowingly held her breath, her eyes tightly closed.

“Everything will be alright.”

Or so they thought.

Yonghwa didn’t mean to scare her but the moment he graspes her waist, the frightening images of her pursuers instantly flashed in her mind. She quickly bolts away from him and accidentally slams her back on the tree, her hands covering her mouth while she looks at him in fright.

Yonghwa is momentarily immobile after Seohyun abruptly pushed him. It had caught him off guard. He watches her hug her knees and continues to watch him through those scared eyes of hers. It bothers him that she’s staring him like that, like he’s going to hurt her too. He attempts to move forward while reaching out his hand but Seohyun further shrinks her body towards the tree’s trunk and is now hiding her face with her hands. He notices her shoulders are shaking and winces when he hears her frightened sobs.

“Hyun?” Yonghwa asked guiltily, he immediately hated himself for kissing her.

“Those men…th-their hands we-were….tttouch-ing me…and…and mo-mother doesn’t want me….be-because those b-bad men….they-they touched me!” She suddenly screams, crying in anguish.

It was heartbreaking to listen to her.

Yonghwa cautiously scoots forward and sits beside her. He gingerly raises his hand to pat her head but decides otherwise. He chooses to stare sadly as Seohyun continues her tearful rant.

“I only want to see-to see the place outside our house. I want to have friends. I want to know why she hates me. I want to meet my father. I want-want ……I wan-“

Yonghwa abruptly seizes her by the shoulders and embraces her firmly. Seohyun continues to cry in his shoulders, her fingers clutching tightly on hiss hoodie. He pats her tenderly on the back while hushing her to stop crying. His soothing words were only drowned by hersobs.

Seohyun’s depressing wails surrounded the hill’s atmosphere. He tried his best to distract her with this date but it seems like it was useless. Seo Joohyun is crying again in his arms. If he can measure the amount of tears she had shed, he swears it can fill a vast lake.

“I wish mother could love me! No one loves me!”

Yonghwa cups her face and make her focus on him. She stares at him tearfully, almost pathetic. The continuous flows of tears are dulling her pretty face. His heart aches with her thoughts. What she’s saying is not true. There are people who love her.

Seo Joohyun is loved too and she should know that.

“How can you say that?” He chides. “Your halmeoni loves you. My parents adore you. Jungshin is even friendly to you. The Ninja kids like you! Who said that you’re not loved?”

“But-“

“I’m falling in love with you!” Yonghwa confesses heatedly.

There he said it; his young heart finally admitted what it truly feels. Should this be the moment to be embarrassed and resort to being cheeky?

No. He can’t. He won’t.

Love is such a big word. It’s daunting actually but he’s willing to learn, accept it and make Seo Joohyun see it.

Seohyun felt this overwhelming emotion engulfs her when he said those words. No one ever said that to her, even her mother. Should she believe Jung Yonghwa? Does he really love her? Can someone actually love her?

Love is a strange and sad word. It’s frightening because love…..It’s something her Mother never gave to her but Jung Yonghwa, a boy, a friend and maybe even more than that is willing to show this queer feeling to her.

“But my mother doesn’t love me. I want her to love me too.” She tearfully tells him, fresh tears flowing on her face again.

“Seohyun, you’re mother may not love you now but that shouldn’t discourage you and think that only your mother’s love is important to you. How about us who care too? Who are willing to love you too?”

Seohyun is quiet as she absorbs Yonghwa’s words. She lowers her eyes uncertainly as she listens to him.

“You wan to feel loved but you’re closing you’re heart to us who wants to take care of you. It’s not only you’re mother who can love you. There a lot of us who are willing to love you too.”

He holds her chin to make her face him.  She still looks confused and hesitant but Yonghwa is certain that Seohyun will give him a chance. He can feel it. He smiles at her warmly before placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Please let me love you too.”

# ---- #

It was near sunset when they went down the hill. Yonghwa glances at the quiet girl beside him. Joohyun is gazing intentently at their locked hands, fascinated as she watches their arms swinging as they walk. He’s only older by a few days but she looks like a little girl to him. She’s so fragile and innocent. A strong wave of protectiveness hits him. Yonghwa gives their hands a gentle squeeze, prompting Joohyun to look at him. He gently smiles before pulling her along with him.

Seo Joohyun won’t cry anymore. Jung Yonghwa will make it happen.

Those are the thoughts that filled a very much in loved and young Jung Yonghwa. But sometimes, life is not a bed of roses. And in their story, there are quite a lot of thorns that are coming their way.

# ---- #

If you want reasons why Kim Cheondung is saying his life is fucked up, he’ll gladly tell you that.

First, his mother is Kim Woori.

Second, his father is in love with another woman.

Third, getting stabbed on the stomach is annoyingly painful like a bitch.

He glares at a group kids openly gawking at him. Standing at 180 cm, bleached hair, black polished nails and heavy eye-liner to finish his rebel look; Kim Cheondung immediately catches attention. He growls when the children start pointing at him. He picks a pebble from the ground and swiftly throws it towards the innocent children. Squeals erupted and the children run as fast possible and away from him. He smirks listening to their panicked screams getting fainter.

He puffs one last time then throws the butt of his cigarette to the ground. He spits on it and crushed it with his dirty sneakers. Kim Woori must be having a fit right now. Her rebellious son is smoking again. She’s already fuming that Kim Hyunjoong decided to uproot his family from their ideal life in San Francisco and transfer to this seemingly boring neighborhood in Sangdo-dong.

Cheondung wants to barf at the display of righteousness and almost perfect morals of the people here. He wants to laugh at his neighbors; Korean version of Stepford housewives, busy business men as husbands and well-behaved children. An almost perfect place, his family doesn’t fit here. They are far from an ideal one.

Sangdo-dong screams “BORING” to him. He doubts gang fights even exist in this place. He laughs but immediately winces in pain. He can’t laugh freely or else his stab wound would re-open. What the hell is the use of stitches if your skin will immediately tear out at the slightest movement?

“Aish!” He kicks the air and walks forward.

But he stops when he sees a familiar face. As much as he wants to forget, the image remains in his head. Ah……It’s the sobbing girl from last night and she’s with her boyfriend. He sneers at the childish display of holding hands while walking. Why do the have to hold hands? They're even wearing couple cloths! It’s too…..sickeningly sweet for his taste.

If he has a girl, he’ll drape his arm over her shoulder, somehow locking her neck. The message is clear.

“The girl in my arm is mine so back off motherfuckers.”

In his belief, a girl will easily be stolen if you’ll just effortlessly hold her hand. So better cling to her shoulders and lock her by the neck. A girlfriend is like a property, so a guy should know how to trap his girl.

“Why the hell are you thinking of having a girlfriend?” He questions himself. Shaking the ridiculous idea out of his mind, he fixes his hood and continues on walking.

“Omo!”

He stops again and looks from under his hood. The sobbing girl and her pretty boy boyfriend had stopped walking and are staring at him. He raises an eyebrow when sobbing girl let go of her boyfriend’s hand and runs towards him. He takes a step backwards when the girl hovers too near to him.

“Bwoya?” He asks warily.

“Kim Cheondung -sshi, kwenchanayo? Shouldn’t you be resting? Your wound is still fresh but why are you out of your house already?” The girl continues to rap her concerns and it irritates him.

A stranger is concerned for him. Caring………The act is just too foreign to him.

“Yah!” He snaps at her. It immediately shuts the girl up. She stares at him timidly.

“Are you my girlfriend? Why the fuss? I’m alive. See? I’m standing, talking and breathing. You can go back to your flower boyfriend and leave me alone.”

“But-“

Kim Cheondung has the patience of flighty bird. He’s very much short tempered and is easily provoked.

“Aish! Kah! You’re annoying me. Leave me alone!”

He rudely pushes her by the shoulders and walks away. He didn’t glance even he’s sure the girl almost stumbled to the ground. It’s not his fault anymore. The girl is fucking annoying him. He thought he can finally walk away in peace but is stopped again when a hand grips his shoulders tightly. Pissed, he pushes the hood from his head and whirls around impatiently. It’s the boyfriend who held him this time. He bites his tongue to stop the urge of  blowing off pretty boy’s head.

Patience Cheondung……Try to insert some fucking patience man.

“What?” He asks gruffly.

“Joohyun is actually concerned for you. You should be thankful.”

He is tempted to roll his eyes at the pretty boy’s goody speech. Why would a stranger care for him? His own mother is not even bothered to know what he’s feeling. His father is still hung up on the memories of a nameless ex-girlfriend from his youth. He doesn’t have friends. He forgot how it feels having someone care for him.

He’s used to being alone and is contented to stay at that level.

“I don’t need her or anyone’s concern. Leave me alone.”

He hurriedly marches away from them. Kim Cheondung doesn’t need sympathy. He can survive by himself. His throats starts to itch, it’s looking for its usual relief. He shoves his right hand in his pocket. He smirks feeling the thick wad of cash.

“Oh thank you mother for not locking your drawer.” He scorns sarcastically. Cigarettes, weed and drinks will his company again tonight, as usual. A self-effacing grin appears on his face, might as well wreck his house and piss off Kim Woori more. It’s actually hilarious to see the bitch freak out.

He breaks into a run towards his house, not minding the bothersome pain from his stab wound.

# ---- #

“Is Yonghwa really in love with that strange girl?” Tiffany asks incredulously.

Jessica looks up from the fashion magazine she’s reading and glares at the latter. She came out of her house and crashed to Sooyoung’s house with Tiffany, Sunny and Yoona to de-stress herself from the Seo Joohyun drama inside the house and ever thoughtless Tiffany bombards her about it.

Great! Just great! Even outside the house, Seo Joohyun is still pissing her off.

“Tiff! What did I say about de-stressing?” She asks wearily. She looks expectantly at her friend.

“I want to know! Answer me then de-stress yourself after!” Tiffany argues, insisting her way. A defiant look is plastered on her face

Yoona and Sunny watches Jessica’s face contort into an ugly grimace, so red and well….ugly. They’re sure she’ll explode any seconds now. The two carefully slips away from the bed and sits on a safer distance that is pretty much immune to Jessica’s wrath. Sooyoung is unfazed and continues coating her nails with nail polish.

“Argh!! Why do I have a dumb friend?! Why God? Why her?!”

“Yah! I’m not dumb you blond bitch!”

“Oh yes you are, you ditsy Cali girl!”

“Why you-“

“Both of you are dumb and bitches.” Sooyoung’s loud nonchalant voice cuts into their fight.

“YAH!!!”

The arguing girls threw offended glares at Sooyoung but the latter didn’t bat an eyelash. She continues on coloring her nails with a bright pink nail polish. Sunny and Yoona exchange know-it-all glances. Expect it from Sooyoung to put peace and order whenever Blondie and Ditsy clash. Sooyoung looks up from her nail work. Jessica and Tiffany are still throwing daggers at her.

“Wae?” She inquires.

“You dared to call me what Choi Sooyoung?” Jessica demands through gritted her teeth.  Tiffany sulks beside her.

“A dumb bitch.” Sooyoung simply answers.

“ARGH!!!”

Jessica launches herself at the tall girl but is quickly intercepted by Yoona and Sunny. Tiffany slowly crawls away from Jessica and sits on a chair in front of Sooyoung’s dresser. Better it be Yoona and Sunny deal with a rampaging Jessica. Getting angry gives you too much wrinkles and in her case, it might lose her precious eye smiles. Tiffany quickly looks at the mirror and smiles automatically. She sighs in relief. Her eye smiles are still there.

“IM YOONA!! LEE SOONKYU!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!”

Jessica thrashes and kicks all her might but Yoona and Sunny fight her off. Sooyoung blinks and watches Jessica snarl at Yoona and Sunny. But when Jessica still didn’t calm down, she grabs a water bottle from the floor, stands up and walks towards the chaos. When she’s near, she sharply splashes the cold water on Jessica’s face. Tiffany’s jaws drop to floor as she gapes at the scene. Yoona and Sunny immediately drops Jessica to the floor and backs away. The latter furiously brushes her tangled wet hair away from her face. She screams and launches again at Sooyoung.

A collective feminine gasp fills the room. Jessica clutches her face and looks at Sooyoung in disbelief.

Sooyoung just slapped her cheek.

“Stop being an irrational brat Sica!” Sooyoung hisses.

“Bworago?!”

“It has been five years! What happened in front of Seo Joohyun’s house is already in the past. Forget it! Yonghwa, Jungshin and I already moved on. Why can’t you do the same?”

“What if I won't?! Sooyoung, I almost died there. Seo Joohyun’s mother raised a knife at me and Yonghwa Oppa! And you want me to forget it?! Seo Joohyun and her family are freaks!”

Tiffany stands up from her seat nervously. Her two friends are seriously fighting now. She totally doesn’t understand the argument but she is quite sure the conflict all boils down to that Seo Joohyun. She glances tearfully at Yoona and Sunny. They too are getting scared. Sooyoung and Jessica rarely fight like this. Most of their fights were only playful ones, not serious at all.

“Soo-“ Yoona attempts to break the tension.

“Seo Joohyun is not a freak! Didn’t you see her at the police station? She looks like a scared mouse being baited to a hungry cat. If there was a freak, it was her mother! Her mother was crazy enough to beat her child, and has the gall to scold her, not minding at all Joohyun was almost raped. Don’t you pity that girl?!” Sooyoung shouts at Jessica in frustration.

“NO!!” Jessica screams back. “Because of her, my brother got in danger with some drunk perverts and also because of her, a stranger got stabbed. Why should I pit y her?! That girl is scary. Anyone who associates with her will be in trouble!”

“You’re reasoning is twisted.” Sooyoung points out, disappointed at her friend’s behavior.

“See?! She’s corrupting your judgment! She already fooled my brother and even my parents. Don’t you see she is only faking? Who is still innocent these days?! She’s manipulating us and tries to convince us that she’s not crazy like her mother!”

“She is not crazy! Stop it!”

“She’s a manipulative bitch who feeds on the pity of people outside her creepy wooden house!!!”

“You’re just assuming things!” Sooyoung argues, exasperated at her friend’s reasoning. “Grow up and be rational! You can’t continue on hating a girl just because of what her crazy mother almost did to you. It’s all in the past. MOVE ON!”

Jessica clutches her wrist desperately and all of a sudden, burst into tears.

“Soo……Stay away from that girl. Please.” Jessica begs. “I don’t feel good about her. She’s bad news. We’ll get in deeper mess if we associate further with her. I’m scared….That….that……She’ll only bring us trouble! Help me. I’m really sure of it. Help me make Yonghwa Oppa stay away from her. Jebal.”

But Sooyoung only shakes her head.

“…………..I can’t. Yonghwa and Jungshin…..They already accepted her. Why should I not?” Sooyoung tells her sadly. Jessica immediately stops crying and flings her hands away.

“Then forget our friendship.” Jessica tells her coldly and angrily leaves the room. Tiffany looks at the remaining girls for a moment then runs after her friend.

“Sica, wait!”

Yoona and Sunny dashes towards Sooyoung and console her as the latter collapses on her bed and let go of the frustrated tears she’s been having since last night.

“Everything will be ok Sooyoung.” Sunny tells her soothingly as she caresses her hair in a comforting manner.

“We are still here. We may not know what happened years ago but we’re still here.” Yoona says. We will wait until you can finally tell us all about it.”

Choi Sooyoung can only cry on her friends’ lap.

# --- #

He places the flowers on top of the uneven, man made boulder of white rocks. For awhile, he silently stares at those pile of rocks before glancing the roughly his surroundings. The strong wind ruffles his neatly combed hair, slightly forcing his eyes to squint as the wind gusts strongly. From his position, he can clearly hear the crushing of the waves even if he can’t see them.

“It seems like nothing has changed here.” He murmurs then chuckles darkly. “A cliff is still a cliff.”

He turns around when he hears the soft crunching of pebbles behind him. Instantly, he is hit with intense longing as he stares at those cold pair of eyes. He should be scared. With the way the woman icily glares at him but he didn’t.

“Miyoung…..” He whispers.

“Why are you here?” She demands edgily, the angry wind blows to her long hair eerily and her thin dress is poorly covered by a batty cardigan. “Go back to your wife.”

He blinks as a dark hollow feeling fills his heart. This woman…..She has grown older, bore a daughter and yet, she still in a way like that eighteen year old girl he met on the school’s rooftop. The girl he betrayed over a cruel joke. That sin haunted him and ate his conscience every living day.

But his feelings for this woman……

“After all these years….you still haven’t forgiven me?” He smiles sadly at her. Miyoung blinks once then looks away.

“Leave.”

He rakes an agitated hand on his hair then glares at Miyoung. This won’t do. They need to deal those demons that have been hunting them for years. It is now or never. He strides towards her and forcefully grabs her chin to face him.

“Look at me.” He insists. “Talk to me Miyoung. Please. Stop this indifference of yours.”

Miyoung smirks at his words. She swats his hands and grudgingly, he lets go of her face. She walks towards the man-made grave behind them and eyes the flowers. She picks it up and walks towards the edge of the cliff.

Alarmed, he quickly follows after her. Is she planning to jump?

But he stops when Miyoung throws the flowers towards the sea below. He stares in confusion. Why did she do that? Miyoung walks back to the grave and picks a dirty sack from the ground. He only notices that package now. He gets more confused when the sack begins to move. Miyoung kneels in front of the grave and opens the sack. A huge white rabbit is stuffed inside. Miyoung carries it out from the sack and holds the wriggling animal in her arm.

“Hyunjoong.” She calls out suddenly. She looks at him, dark and haunted eyes boring at him.

“Why would you give this old bastard a flower? He doesn’t deserve that at all.”

Transfixed, Hyunjoong continues to watch Miyoung petting the rabbit. After a while, she finally sits on the ground and places the rabbit in her lap. The animal tried to escape but it only hops once when the next thing that happens made Hyunjoong scream the woman’s name out.

“MIYOUNG!!!” He roars and dashes towards her.

Miyoung repeatedly stabs the poor animal with a knife, dark red blood oozing from its wounds and staining its white fur. She didn’t look revolted but is happily pushing the knife on the rabbit’s body, a mad smile etched on her lips. Horrified, Hyunjoong firmly holds Miyoung’s arms as he kneels behind her. But the latter didn’t seem to mind him. She continues to pierce the dying rabbit in frenzy; its squeaks were terrible to his ears.

“Miyoung, stop it!” He shouts.

He tugs her body and finally summoning all his strength, he throws her to the ground and away from the dead animal. Miyoung didn’t stir and just lies on the ground while murmuring to herself. Hyunjoong wipes at the sweat on his forehead and almost gagged when he looks at the carcass. He wills himself to look back at the woman still lying on the ground.

He heaves a shaky breath before cautiously approaching her. Miyoung didn’t stir when he grabs her by the shoulder and gently makes her sit. She stares at him blankly as he wipes her bloody hands with his handkerchief. His lips tremble while doing his task quietly. He tries his best wiping the stains from her hands when he notices her slightly shivering. He removes his dark suit, all dirty and crumpled, and puts it around her shoulder.

He goes back on wiping the blood on her face but abruptly stops. His shoulders shook as he tries his best to choke out his sobs. Miyoung only blinks and continues to stare at him blankly. By now, he has stopped wiping the blood on her face and shamelessly cries in front of her. It’s like he’s having a really horrible de ja vu. He is reminded of the time when he waited anxiously at the base of the hill and greeted by Miyoung with a dead expression on her face after those perverts raped her. He throws the knife to a safer distance and gathers Miyoung’s in his arms.

“What has happened to you?” He cries, his arms hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry Miyoung-ah. I’m sorry!”

“Too late.” She whispers lifelessly, tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m in hell already.”

“Let me help you!” Hyunjoong sobs even harder, hugging her tighter in his arms. “You need a doctor, Miyoung. You need to be treated. I can-“

Miyoung angrily pushes his chest, breaking their hug. Her glare is full off spite and all of that feeling is directed to him. She furiously beats his chest as she screams maddeningly.

“Bwo?! You think I am crazy? How dare you accuse me of that! That bastard that we buried does not deserve beautiful flowers! He deserves to be presented with waste! Blood! Dirt! Everything ill! He doesn’t deserve those flowers! He’s dirty! DIRTY! DIRTY! DIRTY!!!”

He pulls her towards him and encloses her again in his arms. Miyoung thrashes and scratches his face and arms but he didn’t let her go. He holds her close and patiently waits for her angry outburst to settle. Miyoung screams and bites his arm but he didn’t budge. She calls him insulting names but it didn’t lessen his hold on her. Eventually, he felt her body sag and hears her sob quietly.

This is his entire fault. What Seo Miyoung is now……it is only him to be blamed. He suddenly thought of the young girl he met at the police station and how Miyoung treated the kid. The way Miyoung beaten up that kid, it’s like she was beating a rag doll and not her own daughter. He tears up again at the grave changes to the woman he is holding in his arms. He must do something. To make amends to all the faults he has committed. To correct what needs to be corrected.

Tenderly, he places a kiss on top of her head.

“I promise. I will help you Miyoung-ah.”