GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
i hate how life comes at me sometimes. and it always happens like this. there are 3 women in my life right now, nothing is happening with any of them and yet something is happening with all of them. they all contain certain elements that i like, but there is SOMETHING in each one that gives me legitimate doubts. par example:
leslie (+)great personality, cute, innocent, young and petite. (-) innocent(and i mean REALLY innocent), pure light(which means my evil ways would not go over well), and inexperienced. now, the inexperienced part shouldn't be a problem because of course i would help her in the experience field, but i mean we're not even playing the same game. we had a picnic and she told me how only LAST YEAR, at 17, did she first really kiss a guy. keep in mind, my active sex life began at a very young age and i'm also involved in several illegal activities. great but way too innocent.
Potential: long-term relationship, teacher, friend
channing (+)great personality, fun, pretty, exploratory, and smart. (-) i don't know what it is, but she's just not my type. both of us are interested in exploring a little more about our sexuality, which gives us a really good sex anchor, but i don't know if i want to pursue that or not. we share a lot of stuff in common, but i just don't feel the pull of a relationship in our interaction.
Potential: friend, fuck-buddy, SM partner
charlee (+)awesome personality(i've never had more in complement with another person), fun, beautiful, smart, philosopher, exploratory, emotionful. (-)she and i have different views on what a relationship could/should be. but even in that i have the most fun time talking to her about it. another negative- she's almost perfect for me.
Potential: friend, long-term relationship, beautiful union of minds, 'intimate' partner(it's just a little different), fuck-buddy, to die with.
WTF!?!?!?!?!? i have no idea what to do. only i do know what i need to do. i need to allow life to follow its course and if i end up with one of them great and if not, well, i like myself enough to spend the rest of my life with me.
-kip
PS. had an interesting check on the "me that exists in your mind" complex. charlee was talking to one of our mutual friends about us and then the friend said, "but what do you think about his drug problem?" when charlee told me this i laughed out loud. apparently i don't see this other girl very much and i guess when i do see her and she asks how that particular weekend went i usually include "and then saturday i did some coke and cleaned up the house a little bit."
it was a good check on what others hear from my lips, and not what i know about me in my mind.
leslie (+)great personality, cute, innocent, young and petite. (-) innocent(and i mean REALLY innocent), pure light(which means my evil ways would not go over well), and inexperienced. now, the inexperienced part shouldn't be a problem because of course i would help her in the experience field, but i mean we're not even playing the same game. we had a picnic and she told me how only LAST YEAR, at 17, did she first really kiss a guy. keep in mind, my active sex life began at a very young age and i'm also involved in several illegal activities. great but way too innocent.
Potential: long-term relationship, teacher, friend
channing (+)great personality, fun, pretty, exploratory, and smart. (-) i don't know what it is, but she's just not my type. both of us are interested in exploring a little more about our sexuality, which gives us a really good sex anchor, but i don't know if i want to pursue that or not. we share a lot of stuff in common, but i just don't feel the pull of a relationship in our interaction.
Potential: friend, fuck-buddy, SM partner
charlee (+)awesome personality(i've never had more in complement with another person), fun, beautiful, smart, philosopher, exploratory, emotionful. (-)she and i have different views on what a relationship could/should be. but even in that i have the most fun time talking to her about it. another negative- she's almost perfect for me.
Potential: friend, long-term relationship, beautiful union of minds, 'intimate' partner(it's just a little different), fuck-buddy, to die with.
WTF!?!?!?!?!? i have no idea what to do. only i do know what i need to do. i need to allow life to follow its course and if i end up with one of them great and if not, well, i like myself enough to spend the rest of my life with me.
-kip
PS. had an interesting check on the "me that exists in your mind" complex. charlee was talking to one of our mutual friends about us and then the friend said, "but what do you think about his drug problem?" when charlee told me this i laughed out loud. apparently i don't see this other girl very much and i guess when i do see her and she asks how that particular weekend went i usually include "and then saturday i did some coke and cleaned up the house a little bit."
it was a good check on what others hear from my lips, and not what i know about me in my mind.